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Narm / Final Fantasy

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All spoilers will be unmarked ahead. You Have Been Warned!


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"The six-foot bird-steeds known as chocobos are a nice addition to the cuter incarnations of Final Fantasy. However, tradition demands that they be included in every installment, even the angst-suffused grimfests. So you get characters saying things like, 'Who are all of us really? Can you ever know your own soul?' and in the background someone's riding a giant chicken."

Sometimes, the high drama in the cheek-hurtingly popular Final Fantasy games doesn't quite come out as intended.


Games with their own pages:

Other games:

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    Final Fantasy 
  • Pictured above is Garland's infamous threat, "I Garland, will knock you all down!". It's hard not to imagine him saying this to a bunch of inanimate pins as he tries to score a strike at a bowling alley. The line was changed for the PSX release, but was brought back for the GBA release and every one after that.
  • It's not in Dissidia Final Fantasy, but Garland says "I'll crush you" in some of his attacks. Hmmm...
  • The odd decision to play the "Plot item/progression get!" theme in the NES version when the King of Western Keep reveals he's really the Dark Elf Astos and wants you dead. Really gets you excited for Astos' Death spam, doesn't it? Later versions removed this.

    Final Fantasy II 
  • While he can be menacing at the best of times, Emperor Mateus is also as pure a Fashion-Victim Villain as you can get with his default outfit featuring gaudy gold armour and a garish purple cape, fabulous purple lipstick and brightly multicoloured hair that one can only describe as "Cloud Strife's after running into an angry Pikachu" complete with horns! Horns that merge with his hair so well to the point where it's impossible to tell where hair ends and horn begins! At least he evolves past said ridiculous look with his Emperor of Hell form... but Dissidia Final Fantasy rendering Mateus' ridiculous default design in full 3D just accentuates it. He has his Final Fantasy Origins look unlockable but that doesn't help much. And if you thought his Heaven Emperor form would rectify things, nope, it's now a ridiculous angelic overkill complete with huge angel wings, a hugely baggy robe, hair that's hardly any better than his human form and a weird case of Eyes Always Shut.

    Final Fantasy III 
"Light and darkness: one cannot exist without the other, much like the sun and the world."
  • In the DS version, it's a bit hard to see the villains as genuine threats when they're in chibi style, especially for Big Bad Xande. The Cloud of Darkness mostly evades this by being a sphere of light, though.
  • In the DS version's ending: "Thank you for saving the world!"

    Final Fantasy IV 
  • Tellah's cry of "you spoony bard!" has become beloved by RPG players worldwide. Although the original Japanese meant something completely different, when the game was re-released in America with a re-translated, far more faithful script, "You spoony bard!" was kept in for nostalgia's sake. Three times! For reference, the insult is part of Tellah attacking Edward because Tellah's daughter Anna is now dead because she ran off with Edward. The "spoony" part refers to how Edward's foolish young love for her caused her death. Clearly, this line is the epitome of serious and moving character drama.
    • The line became famous enough to be parodied many times, both within and outside of the franchise:
  • Edward himself is full of Narm. In one scene, he needs his dead girlfriend's spirit's support to take down a common Mook. In another, he gets told to stop being a wuss by Rydia, at the time an eight-year-old girl. An eight-year-old girl who had just lost her entire family, and village, in an act of genocide. Yep, she handles that better than Edward handles the death of his girlfriend.
    • Even better in the DS remake, where you get treated to watching Cecil punch out Edward, honestly better than watching Tellah beat him up with a cane.
    • Worst of all, Edward has a battle move called "Hide", which, you guessed it, allows him to hide during battle, leaving the others (at one point, just Cecil and Yang) to do everything. NONE of the other characters in this game - including an eight-year-old girl, five-year-old twins, the Damsel in Distress, and Tellah, who is far past his prime and dies overdoing it against Golbez - have such a move.
  • While the scene was believable in the 2D versions, the scene in Final Fantasy IV DS where Cecil unintentionally destroys Mist was pushed too far. They actually decided to go with a Skyward Scream, with him yelling "WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!" and then "NOO!". Combined with his armor, it made him seem like Darth Vader. You know what, just take a look yourself.
    • It hardly helps that both Cecil and Kain sound a bit like Psycho Mantis.
    • Speaking of the 3D remakes, there's something adorable about Liam O'Brien's deep husky voice coming out of a super cutesy chibi 3D Kain.
  • When Barnabas hits Dr. Lugae, the player laughing is the Intended Audience Reaction. However, in the 3D versions, it becomes even more funny because Barnabas swings TOWARDS the party but manages to hit Dr. Lugae who is standing next to him.
  • After defeating Golbez in the Dwarf Castle's crystal chamber, he manages to steal the crystal anyway...by turning into a disembodied hand...which crawls around on the floor like a spider. Very, very, slowly. If this sounds creepy at all, it's being described wrong. Tellingly, the 3D remake replaced this with something that looks a lot less silly.
  • The Game Boy Advance port of the game has a new enemy in the Lunar Ruins called the Gil Turtle, coming from its Japanese name, Girugame. However, it was originally translated as "Gilgamesh", despite obviously having no relation to the popular FFV character.
  • Yang's monks are meant to be making Funny Bruce Lee Noises before they get their asses handed to them. Somehow the localization team decided to translate these as, "Achoooo!" Which not only becomes almost nonsensical, but makes it seem like they're suffering from the common cold or just rude with allergies in general.
  • A rare Japanese only example: when the party runs into Fusoya and Golbez battling Zemus, Fusoya tells Golbez "It's nearly done! Give your power to Meteor!". Golbez's response? "Very well." In the original Japanese, however, it's "Iidesutomo!", a very polite way of saying that, something like "Indubitably!" or "Yeah, okay!" (battle programmer Hiroyuki Ito threw it in as a placeholder line that never actually got replaced). Hearing a menacing, badass character speak so formally completely killed the scene for many Japanese players, and "Iidesutomo!" quickly became a meme (to the point that in the Japanese version of Dissidia Final Fantasy, it's an unlockable line for Golbez's EX Burst).

    Final Fantasy V 
  • When Exdeath, the game's Big Bad, meets Ghido, the turtle sage. In the old Super Famicom version, the depicted sprite fight between them has to be seen to be believed. It's a bit "DBZ action turtle" (the scene is similar in the GBA version, but the turtle aspect is lampshaded). He even declares that he didn't sit in a sewer eating pizza all these years, which in and of itself is narmy. For his part, Exdeath warns Ghido that there'll be "no such tasty diversions in the afterlife!" And then there's Exdeath's hilarious bellow of "TURTLE!"...which Dissidia turned into a hilarious Non Sequitur.
  • Neo Exdeath's nonsensical garble: "I am Neo Exdeath! All memories... dimensions... existence... All that is shall be returned to nothing. Then I, too, can disappear... forever!"
  • In the Anthology translation, when the last crystal shatters and the world begins to fall into ruin, Bartz decides to respond with the distinctly underwhelming statement of "Oh, Crap!". It's an especially great source of Narm when you haven't even played the game and you already know it'd throw you out of the moment.
  • Gilgamesh is made of meta-narm. He's so over-the-top nobody besides himself takes him seriously.
  • The Anthology translation gives Faris a really awful pirate "accent", which ruins every dramatic scene she's in—inevitably she will yell something like "D'garrr" or "T'arrr", even while visiting Stella's grave.
  • One of the monster types in the game is called the Skull Eater, so they should be some kind of scary-looking monster, right? Nope. They just look like big, grey squirrels. Of course, they are Palette Swaps of the Nut Eater opponent, which more sensibly are also squirrels, but still.
  • Even if you tried to take this game seriously when it first came out in Japan, you still had Bartz' old default name, which was "Butz". Which sounds exactly like you think it sounds like. And yes, it only becomes funnier if you picture a certain other Butz when you hear that.

    Final Fantasy VI 
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  • The Opera Scene. It's meant to be a beautiful tearjerker, but the "voice acting" was so bad (saying "oh oh oh oh" in time and tune to the music) that it causes one to laugh out loud. It sounds more like a dog barking than a person singing. It doesn't help that we've just seen a fanged, letter-writing octopus lying in wait. Thankfully, later remakes handle things better.
  • The Remake on the GBA featured a scene where Banon is addressing the Returners in their hideout, and promptly kills the tension when he explains that the Empire is amassing "weapons of Magitek destruction". Thankfully, this line is changed in Pixel Remake.
  • In the climactic battle between Gestahl and Kefka in the SNES version, Gestahl's fiery spells aren't working. "N... ... nooooo! Why isn't my magic working? Merton!!!" As it turns out, Merton is the most powerful fire spell in the game. At this point, however, the player has yet to see it in use, there is no animation for the spell due to the circumstances of the battle, and the name is sufficiently mistranslated from its original intent ("Meltdown") that it looks less like Gestahl is calling his attack, and more like he's screaming in frustration the name of some goofy, bumbling minion named Merton who accidentally did something to screw him over. It's even better if you're from the UK, where the 'Merton!' part can conjure up images of an angry Ian Hislop. note 

    Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core 
  • There's a minor but horrible one when Cloud and Zack are bonding. They reach a facility they're about to infiltrate, and Zack suddenly says, "Cloud, look". If you know why that's horrible, you've been on the internet far too long.
    "They're not the wings of a monster! They're the wings............... of an angel!"
  • The infamous incident of Sephiroth destroying Nibelheim is done with all the fanfare of documenting how he locked himself away in the Shinra Manor for a week, a fade to black and textbox, and then suddenly Zack's standing in the burning ruins of the town.
  • Intentionally invoked for effect with Genesis, who was intended to be a ridiculous over-the-top drama queen.
    "No way! He just ate my haaaair!"
    "DAMN YOOOOOOOU!"
  • During the otherwise well-done ending FMV, Cloud's scream was jarringly cliche and pathetically delivered. Luckily, it didn't ruin the scene completely, and most people only cringed slightly before continuing to let the tears stream down their faces.
  • Thankfully averted during Angeal's death scene, which was actually beautifully executed even given the inherent Narminess several similar video game moments seem to share.

    Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus 
  • Vincent rescuing small children, and then walking off, flipping his cape with panache. Which he does...every...single...time. Vincent, you're not fucking Batman, cut it out.
  • When he dies, he mutters, "Now... I can finally... rest...".
  • The extreme case of Cutscene Power to the Max the game suffers from, where every shot involves him running around and flipping upside down and shooting things in mid-air, causes his rather awkward in-game actions to seem hilariously stilted. The original game didn't take itself entirely seriously, but Dirge is melodrama from beginning to end.
  • Rosso the Crimson. Try to listen to her speak for more than twelve seconds without cringing, cracking up, or both. Even Vincent is unimpressed.
    Where did she pick up a Russian accent underground!?
  • Oh Nero. Lord of the Narm. "STAY AWAY FROM MY BROTHER!"
  • Special mention should go to the scene towards the climax featuring the main characters from Final Fantasy VII (sans Red XIII). We finally get to see them DO something, and then their entire role in the story from there is channeling the Power Rangers and simultaneously cheering Vincent on in a six-way split screen.
  • Shalua holds a door open with her metal arm, but it gets crushed and she is killed. A yellow liquid seeps under the door. Presumably, it's supposed to be oil, but the scene ends up looking like Shalua wet herself, which does a number on the tension.
  • Azul's joy at finding an opponent worth fighting just before the first boss battle against him. Or rather, Azul starts off with a normally-spoken "Long has it been since I faced..."...only to then bellow out "A WORTHY OPPONENT!!" in an almost operatic tone.
  • Shalua Rui's design in general. The needlessly Fanservicey undergarments straight out of Dead or Alive? With a labcoat lazily draped over her? How about the decision to render her loss of left eye by having it... closed. Without an eyepatch or even a scar texture to signify it had been injured at some point, instead it's simply closed so it looks like she's perpetually winking.

    Final Fantasy VIII 
  • Though It Makes Sense in Context, Squall's outburst when the characters believe Seifer to be dead and try to speak well of him: "I won't have it!" "I won't have anyone talk about me in the past tense!", especially funny when you consider that his entire speech about death and being forgotten was in his head and the aforementioned words are the only ones spoken aloud.
  • Ultimecia's ridiculous Funetik Aksent. Thankfully dropped during the actual battle and Dissidia.

    Final Fantasy IX 
  • Garnet, by default, decides to name herself Dagger after seeing Zidane's dagger. So many players consider this such a stupid name and origin that even those who don't usually custom name their characters will take the chance to call her anything else, or take the opportunity to rename her in Daguerreo since there's no in-story reason for her to keep using the pseudonym at that point.

    Final Fantasy X2 
  • "I don't like your plan. It sucks", which is an understatement, especially since Yuna then goes on to say that Nooj's plan to sacrifice himself, and potentially Baralai, to kill Shuyin is no different than the way Spira had fought Sin, and that there had to be a way to save the world without sacrificing innocent people.
  • The infamous massage and hot spring scenes.
  • "THE NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRVE!" Apparently, 'nerve' is now a twenty syllable word.
  • It's just impossible not to laugh at Yuna and the Gullwings belief that LA LA LA LA LA LA constitutes a song.
  • Key-Mon? MON-KEY! what makes this scene way more funny than it should be is the close up shot of Rikku's dead-eyed low-resolution poorly-lipsynced face as she says it. The game designers rather obviously mixed up her cutscene model with her in-game one.

    Final Fantasy XII 
  • Even though the game has succeeded in avoiding Narm in the more serious moments of the game, there's the infamous yelling quest in which the objective is to go around the city shouting things like "I'M CAPTAIN BASCH FON RONSENBURG OF DALMASCA!", "DON'T LISTEN TO ONDORE'S LIES!", "BASCH LIVES!" and so on. It wouldn't be so bad, if you didn't have to do that around 50 times to get the quest complete. Viewable here.

    Final Fantasy XIII 
  • Lightning's speech to Orphan. It's a glorious mixture of bad acting and a bad script.
    Lightning: Sure, you think the end of the world is salvation. All you care about is death's release. So take it, and leave the rest of us alone.
    (game holds for applause)
    Lightning: We don't think like that.
    (game holds for applause again)
  • The game suffers from a Slow-Paced Beginning, as nearly every cutscene has the characters uttering some variant of the phrases: "We are Pulse l'Cie, enemies of Cocoon" and "We don't know our Focus." That, and their repeated use of words such as "Fal'Cie," "Coccoon," and "PSICOM" can get so tedious that it becomes unintentionally hilarious, if not downright irritating. Snow shouting "Serah!" at least two dozen times throughout the course of the game is also a solid gold runner up. This video explains it pretty well.
  • Nora's death is played for tragedy, but it's somewhat ruined by the fact that we've only known her for roughly three minutes, her narmy line about being tough, and the melodramatic use of slow motion as she falls to her death. The fact that it doesn't look like anything killed her due to an absence of any visible damage done to her character model only makes it worse (it is implied that the shockwave from the explosion ruptured her internal organs, but one would at least expect her to be coughing up blood as a result).
    • Also not helping matters is the fact that there does not exist a unique piece of music for the scene—Nora's death scene reuses the exact same soundtrack that has been playing throughout the entire sequence up to that point, which can subconsciously cue the viewer into thinking that the scene is not particularly important or emotionally significant.
  • And on that note, there are certain cutscenes wherein which the music does not match what the characters are thinking and/or feeling, resulting in an awkward dissonance which can ruin what are supposedly intended to be serious moments of character development. The scene in which Fang threatens to kill both herself and the party so that they will neither have to destroy Coccoon nor turn into Cie'th is perhaps the most notable example of this.
  • At the end, when Fang betrays the group and turns them into l'Cie, three of them surround her and start smacking her into each other, like the ending of Death Proof. Ruins what should be a dramatic scene.

    Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII 
  • The message on a loading screen late in the game loses some dramatic impact by containing a typo:
    ...his new world will be populated only be the ideal humans
  • From the Japan Expo trailer: "One day, the light touched me." Here, show me where it touched you with this doll.
  • The Samurai pre-order armor costume certainly looks awesome on Lightning. Problem is, the fancy way she sheathes her weapon when wearing this suit ends up looking absolutely ridiculous because there is no scabbard. So she's basically sheathing her blade into thin air.
  • The Game Over caused by the end of the world would be actually good if it weren't so anticlimatic. It lasts less than twenty seconds and it is followed by "And so the world ends."
  • The ending of the "Get The Girl" sidequest could have been a real Tear Jerker except that Lackley's voice actor (at least in English) hilariously overacts his anguished reaction to hearing of Philiana's death, complete with a truly cringeworthy Big "NO!" that gives Darth Vader a run for his money.
    • He sounded just shy of falling-down-drunk, though, and especially if you have any personal experience with alcoholic loved ones, then his obvious impairment lends the whole situation an uncomfortable and pitiable, even tragic, light.
  • A lot of the sidequests' conclusions fall into this. The first time the shocking twist in the end is that the person some Plot Coupon belonged to is long dead, it's sad. The fortieth time it happens, it's plain hilarious. Considering that out of over 60 quests, over 50 end this way...

    Final Fantasy XVI 
  • "Clive Bested", when despite in the unwinnable fight aganist Barnabas plays a Victory Fanfare as an unfitting defeat.

    Dissidia: Final Fantasy 
  • This awesome opening to one of the story modes, spoken in deep bass narrator voice:
    The boy is known by the legendary title of...
    "Onion Knight".
    • Later on, Cloud of Darkness even says to Onion Knight that he is not "worthy of his title". Why the heck is everyone acting like being called an Onion Knight is something to be proud of?!
  • Tidus lands one in his story mode where he narrates, stating that he has a sudden urge to yell for no reason. He then suddenly runs ahead of Firion with a scream as if he's dying. And Firion doesn't react at all. He must do this a lot. This is mitigated in Firion's story where this happens and Firion tells him not to just charge on ahead like that.
  • Firion's dream of seeing a world full of roses is a metaphor for his desire to defeat the Emperor and create a peaceful world free of tyranny and injustice. In practice, though... the characters are talking about flowers.
    • Firion and his rose is just a basket full of Narm, every time it comes up. Special mention goes to a scene when Sephiroth confronts Cloud. He mentions that he took "something special" from Firion in a mocking voice. Yes, that's what it sounds like and it makes it double hilarious with the special thing also referring to a flower.
  • Kefka has several moments; considering he's a Villainous Harlequin, it's justifiable, and possibly invoked as Rule of Funny.
  • After Zidane confronts Kefka about Bartz being caught in Kuja's warp trap:
    Kefka: I'm afraid the mouse is... [sudden zoom in on Kefka's face] SMACK! Dabinthemiddleofenemyterritory.
    • Duodecim seemed to cotton on to this. It left the scene as is...and titles the FMV "Smack Dab in the Middle of Enemy Territory."
  • Kuja can also be pretty narmtastic, comes with being a large ham, but the scene before Zidane fights him at the end of the destiny odyssey IX has to top it, with both of them spouting off various theater puns (Zidane works in a theater and Kuja loves luxurious things, so it's to be expected); he also ends up stuck with Kefka as his only fair weather ally, which can lead to some amusing moments.
  • Cloud and Sephiroth's rivalry is played up for Fanservice, as expected, but in Dissidia it's so extreme it could even be parody. Notable is a scene where Sephiroth appears - "It's good to see you again, Cloud" - and immediately threatens him with his sword. Cloud rolls his eyes and, when asked why he isn't fighting back, says "fighting you is pointless". Sephiroth gives a heartbroken, jealous expression. Possibly because earlier Cloud was fighting with Firion, who also presented him with a glittery pink rose to represent his inner feelings.
  • Each of the characters in Dissidia goes through a little Character Development quest to unlock their crystal. This leads to a scene where Cloud (lunatic and not real), Cecil (job dissatisfaction and family problems) and Tidus (family problems and not real) are sitting around discussing their issues, and Firion, from Final Fantasy II admits that he doesn't have any huge mental problems. The difference can be a bit glaring.
  • In a classic case of Have a Gay Old Time, the Emperor celebrates Cosmos' death in front of the heroes and states that the warriors of Chaos have begun to follow their "naked desires". Um...phrasing?
  • Garland's winpose in the PSP games is this for sure. He throws his sword into the sky, motions to catch it....and it doesn't come down so he pulls a different pose. It looks more like he accidentally got his sword stuck in the ceiling or straight up sent it into space and is now trying to save face.

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