Professional Wrestler Aja Kong had this in her Entrance music:
God got up one morning, He was in an ugly mood,
He was sick of floods and plagues, He wanted something really rude,
He made a big pirahna out of broken glass and glue,
Then He gave her two legs and a nasty attitude.
Well, the Sahara was a jungle 'till she ripped out all the trees,
Then she looked up at the mountaintops, they all began to freeze,
The sun gave her a cold until she set it on fire,
You can see her for yourself if you think that I'm a liar!
God made the Devil just for fun,
When He wanted the real thing, He made Aja Kong!
She's a head-splittin', fire-spittin', human earthquake,
She makes the young ones wonder and the wise ones shake,
She's got the hands of a gorilla, got the head of a snake,
She keeps looking, but she hasn't found a thing she can't break!
Usain Bolt never false starts. Sometimes the starter is so amazed by Bolt's start, he forgets to pull the trigger in time.
Usain Bolt has two paces: World Record and Celebrate.
Pluto is actually a collection of spikes which were insufficiently tightly laced and kicked into space by Usain Bolt.
Usain Bolt doesn't use performance enhancing drugs because steroids would slow him down.
Usain Bolt isn't too tall to be a sprinter. His presence makes other sprinters shorter.
Usain Bolt's house has no doors, only walls that he runs through.
When Usain Bolt was denied chicken nuggets at a McDonald's, he ran through the restaurant so quickly it became a Wendy's.
If Usain Bolt could be contained by a treadmill, his 200m would produce enough energy to power the entire nation of Jamaica for 22 years.
Usain Bolt isn't actually black, he appears black because he outraces the photons.
Usain Bolt can watch an entire season of 24, with commercials, in 17 minutes.
Usain Bolt's races aren't timed. HE decides when the clock should stop.
There are two types of people in the world: slow people, and Usain Bolt.
When Usain Bolt's back itches, he runs around the track and stretches his arm forward.
A normal person runs at 7 mph. Usain Bolt does that speed when he's at rest.
Usain Bolt feeds Schroedinger's Cat on his back porch. Without opening the box.
Usain Bolt isn't on the internet. He can't find a fast enough connection.
According to Al Gore, the greatest danger to global climate is if Usain Bolt decides to run on the Antarctic permafrost.
In Christmas 2004, while visiting Madagascar, Usain Bolt wondered whether he could reach Indonesia running on water. He promised not to do that ever again.
Usain Bolt is so fast he was born before his father.
There are no unbreakable World Records, just times Usain Bolt hasn't decided to run yet.
- Matt Wieters has a fansite devoted to this type of thing.