Ain't No Rule - Television Tropes & Idioms

Gorilla, yes. Adorable golden retriever, yes. But it says nothing about Meerkats

Ain't no rule says a dog can't play soccer.

-Soccer Dog: The Movie

So... you're the new kid in town, and you've joined the local sports team populated by the Ragtag Bunch Of Misfits. What you lack in skill, you make up for in Team Spirit and multi-nationalism. But uh-oh... the Opposing Sports Team is in town and gunning for the championship. Their coach is a Drill Sergeant Nasty, the town bully is the star player, and they probably have mob connections.

Thank God, someone on our team has an animal that has just revealed its untapped, unbeatable sporting abilities!

The other team may rant and rave, but there's nothing they can do about it. Why? Ain't No Rule!

...Well, of course there's no rule that says a dog can't play soccer! Even ignoring the fact that such a move would be stymied due to rules meant for other purposes, such as age limitations (find me an arthritis-free dog large enough and old enough to play outside of little-league), registration requirements (legal name, for starters), and school affiliation (these movies almost always use high school sports, although hiring "ringers" was once commonplace for college sports), the very notion that someone would replace a kid on their team with an animal is insane! Still, that doesn't prevent family films aplenty from adopting the premise and taking it to the heartwarming illogical conclusion. It's only a matter of time before we have a movie where a chimp becomes Archbishop of Canterbury. This movie will of course be called Supreme Primate and it will win every Oscar under the sun.

Dogs and monkeys are usually the go-to animals for these kinds of film, but ... there ain't no rule.

Taken to its logical extreme, this trope becomes No Purple Dragons.

Examples:

Anime/Manga

Used, surprisingly, in Samurai Champloo. In a baseball game against the Eagleland Navy, ninja Kagemaru is a little shorthanded. Even after conscripting Mugen, Jin, and Fuu, he needs five more players. So he gets a really old man (who dies in his first at-bat), Fuu's pet flying squirrel Momo, and a dog. When one of the American sailors objects, the umpire consults a rulebook, and rules that "I can't find anything about dogs in the rulebook. He's good."
- The fact one of the name Americans was none other than Abner Doubleday who has a lasting belief that he invented the game.
In one chapter of the manga Kochikame, Ryotsu is asked to play on a hockey team. The opposing team has a polar bear and penguin playing, and point out that there Aint No Rule saying they can't.

Film

Soccer Dog and Soccer Dog: European Pup: Ain't no rule that says a dog can't play soccer!
The Air Bud series: Ain't no rule that a dog can't play basketball/football/soccer/baseball/volleyball/skateboard!
The Most Valuable Primate series: Ain't no rule that says a monkey can't play hockey/skateboarding/snowboarding!
Funky Monkey: Ain't no rule that says a monkey can't play football!
Ed: Ain't no rule that says a monkey can't play baseball!
Gus: Ain't no rule that says a mule can't play football!
The Horse That Played Center-Field: Ain't no rule that says... you know what, you can probably puzzle this one out yourself.
Subverted in Peanuts, where there ain't no rule that says a dog can't play baseball... but he plays just like every other member of the team (and it's Charlie Brown's team), and he sometimes gets mistaken for a short kid with a big nose.
Babe: Ain't no rule that says a pig can't compete in a sheepherding dog trial! Actually, that one's more a trick of semantics, as the trial registration form requires "Name of Animal." The narrator even mentions that had it been "Name of Dog" they couldn't have entered Babe.
- This also happens in the book. The lines on the form there, if this troper remembers correctly, were "Name of Owner" and "Name of Entry."
And parodied by a mock movie trailer for "Soccer Mummy". Ain't no rule that says a centuries old Egyptian mummy can't play soccer!
Subverted in Ratatouille: There Ain't No Rule saying a rat can't become a chef (in fact, the phrase "Anyone Can Cook" practically qualifies as Arc Words), but there is a rule that a rat can't be in a restaurant kitchen. Remy spends most of the film trying to be a chef without getting caught breaking the second rule; near the end of the film, the presence of Remy and his clan in the kitchen of Gusteau's still constitutes a health code violation that gets the restaurant closed down. Even that is just a temporary setback for Remy.
A non-animal-related example is The Absent-Minded Professor, where the professor put flubber on the shoes of his school's basketball team when they are losing an important game. As a result, the team suddenly find themselves able to easily make impossibly high jumps to win the game. Although the coach of the opposing team protests this development, the stunned referee refuses to stop play because there is no rule that establishes a height limit of players' jumps, even though it is obvious this sudden advantage for the team appearing mid-game must be be the result of some kind of external aid that is likely against the rules.
Non-animal version in Semi-Pro : Ain't no rule says you can't play drunk. Well, there is a rule, but they can't enforce it. ("Remember those 30 free throws I did in Minnesota last year?" "Yeah?" "I don't.") By the way, that is just the gist of the scene. If anyone remembers the real quote, replace that one.
In the movie Blades of Glory there ain't no rule saying two guys can't skate as a pairs team.(In Real Life, there is.)
In Zoom, in the final scenes of the movie as we see the 'Happy-Ever-After' scenes for each of the super-powered kids, we watch the expanding boy playing soccer as the goalie and being the team hero, as there Aint No Rule against being able to expand your body parts to block the entire goal so no shots can go in.
In the film version of Stuart Little, most of the boats in the race are being operated by remote control. Guess there Aint No Rule that says a mouse can't be sailing one.

Literature

In the Thursday Next novel Something Rotten, Aint No Rule saying a genetically reengineered Neanderthal can't play croquet (although it was in dispute; there are rules saying non-humans can't).
In L. Sprague de Camp's short story "Nothing in the Rules", one team at a girls' swimming competition contains a mermaid, who of course wins everything. In response to the opposition's outrage, the team coach points out that the rules only specify that all entrants must be female; nothing is said about species. The officials are reluctantly forced to admit that he's right. Whereupon the opposing coach visits the city zoo and borrows a female seal, who (properly incentivized with a bucket of fish) outswims the mermaid.
- In Real Life, human-only clause or no, both seal and mermaid would be immediately disqualified for not using the proper swimming form called for by the event.
  - Unless they were entered only in freestyle events. The mermaid might have a shot at the butterfly too.
  - This point is actually specifically addressed in the story; the mermaid is not entered in the breast stroke event because the rules state how the swimmer's legs must move.
Non-sports example in Discworld, with its orangutan Librarian: "The librarian was, ex officio, a member of the college council. No one had been able to find any rule about orangutans being barred, although they had surreptitiously looked very hard for one." Less ridiculous than it sounds, though, since he became an orangutan after he became the librarian.
In Discworld, the laws of nature work like this; Ponder Stibbons has discovered that, like a busy local authority, the universe has failed to forbid a lot of things simply because it never occurred to it anyone would do them. The trick is to get things done before the universe rewrites the rulebook and pretends it was impossible all along.
Literary example: The Kid Who Ran For Principal by Judy K. Morris. Ain't no rule that says a student can't run for interim principal for the purpose of firing an ineffective and cruel teacher.
- Also, The Kid Who Ran For President, even though there actually is a rule in that case - and eliminating it by rapidly getting a Constitutional amendment passed is a major plot point and form of Lampshade Hanging on this trope.
Another non-animal: in the Macdonald Hall book The Zucchini Warriors, Cathy from the girls' boarding school across the street pulls a Sweet Polly Oliver and serves as quarterback, leading the team to victory. Naturally, once it's found out, the team coach attempts to argue that girls can too play football (despite having said in a prior interview that they can't.) The referee shuts this down by pointing out that, as this is the Macdonald Hall football team and Cathy is not a student there, she's not eligible to play.
In Lois Mc Master Bujold's Vorkosigan saga, it is a frequently cited legal precedent that there ain't no rule a horse can't be a count's heir (or at least, there wasn't in Lord Midnight Vortala's time).

Live-Action TV

On Family Matters, Steve Urkel challenges Laura's Guy of the Week to a contest to see who can climb to the top of a rope faster. The loser has to stay away from Laura forever. Steve is absolutely terrible at rope climbing, but he wins because there Aint No Rule that says he can't use a rocket pack to fly to the top instead of climbing in the usual way. This is quite ridiculous as a way of winning a rope-climbing contest, because, well, it's not rope climbing! The guy in question never appears again, but a generous interpretation would claim that he just faded into the background like every other girl/guy of the week, and didn't stay away because he actually honored Steve Urkel's beating him in the contest.
In Babylon 5, Ivanova becomes the Green Drazi leader by grabbing the former leader's ceremonial sash:
Ivanova: You're saying just because I'm holding this right now, I'm Green leader? But I'm human!
Green Drazi: Rules of combat older than contact with other races. Did not mention aliens. (looks embarrassed) Rules change... caught up in committee. Not come through yet.

Real Life

Real life example: the Tenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. The Founders knew that in any situation for which there Ain't No Rule, the government would be tempted to claim authority. The amendment prevents this by flipping the onus around: any powers that the Constitution doesn't specifically assign to the federal government are delegated to the states.
- The Ninth Amendment would also apply; this is the "including but not limited to" amendment. It states just because certain individual rights have been laid out in the earlier amendments doesn't mean there aren't other rights that haven't been laid out. This is always fun to point to when someone says, "Show where in the Constitution...."
- Averted, the federal government has successfully stretched the Interstate Commerce Clause so that it can put its hands in any cookie jars it wants to.
Ain't no rule that a student can't be elected to the school board: documentary-maker Michael Moore. http://www.michaelmoore.com/words/message/index.php?messageDate=1999-12-12
Real Life human example: Bill Veeck, former owner of the Cleveland Indians, did this as a publicity stunt on occasion. Ain't No Rule that says a midget can't pinch-hit! Ain't No Rule that says a one-armed man can't play center field!
- Actually, that second one was from World War Two, when most of the two-armed players were overseas.
- The first may have been inspired (though Veeck denied it) by the James Thurber short story "You Could Look It Up," in which the manager of a team in a slump puts a midget in to pinch hit to walk in the tying run. The story is a double subversion: The midget swings at and hits a pitch, and because he can't run, is thrown out at first, losing the game. However, the hysteria that results from him pinch-hitting breaks the team out of their slump and they go on to win the pennant.
Another real life example: George Burns and Harpo Marx were once playing golf on a very hot day, and decided to take their shirts off. A nearby group complained, and the club manager came out to inform them that club rules required them to wear shirts on the course. A little while later, he received another complaint - this time they were playing without pants. When he went out to tell them to put pants on, they asked to see the rulebook on that - and it turned out that there was no rule requiring club members to wear pants on the course, because nobody had ever thought to need it.
- During his younger brothers' days at this troper's Catholic high school, the rules on boys' uniforms for one year included that "pants are optional," with the intended meaning that they could be of any color, cuffed or not, etc. The literal meaning was much discussed, but apparently neither kilts nor the Harpo Marx method were ever actually attempted.
A few real life examples: The downs system of American football and basketball's shot clock were added when teams took advantage of the lack of such a rule to simply indefinitely keep possession of the ball.
Lord Byron, famed English poet, was forced to send his dog home during college, as Cambridge forbade keeping one. Byron's response was, of course, to scour the rules and find that there was no specific prohibition against keeping a bear. Obviously, he got one.
Ain't no rule that says a horse can't sit on the Roman Senate.
Ain't no rule that says a penguin can't be Colonel-In-Chief of the Norwegian King's Guards.
Ain't no rule a Bear can't enlist in the Polish Army. (NSFW version)
Ain't no rule a cat can't be a train station master in Japan.
At the time of the infamous "Snowplow Game" in 1982, there really wasn't a rule you couldn't plow a section of the field in football before a field goal. Needless to say, after the game there was one.
Ain't no rule that says robot cats can't serve as ambassador's in the Japanese government.
Avoided by most Internet services (forums, hosts, etc.) in that there Terms of Use specifically say you can be reprimanded for any reason by the owners/moderators. Effectively seals the "Ain't no rule" loophole.
Ain't no rule that says you can't drop trou during a halftime speech or penalty kick.

Webcomics

Webcomics trope-poking: Red Mage of 8-Bit Theater would like to direct your attention to the Air Bud clause (Ain't no rule that says you can't use dice in rock-paper-scissors).
- This is also Black Mage's solution to an obstacle course: Ain't no rule that you can't just blow it up!
Spoofed in this xkcd strip.
The webcomic Concerned (set in the world of Half Life 2) shows the erstwhile hero telling a monster called a Gargantua "There's no rule against having a Garg play soccer! This is gonna be the best season EVER!"
In the webcomic Brat-halla, there ain't no rule saying that a god dueling another as a tie-breaker in the Pantheon Games can't call in his independently sentient, disembodied eyeball in a Humongous Mecha to help him.

Western Animation

Parodied on The Simpsons; after adopting a horse, Homer spends hours training it as a placekicker, then checks the rulebook to see if horses can play in the NFL. (Turns out, there is a rule.)
- There was a live-action Disney movie with that very premise called Gus, which This Troper is sure The Simpsons were specifically parodying. Except Gus was a mule not a horse, and of course there wasn't any rule.
Human subversion on The Simpsons:
Announcer 1: Tell me where in the rule book it says that a human can't participate in a robot fighting competition!
Announcer 2: Right here, rule number 1.
In the Looney Tunes short "Gone Batty", when the Gas House Gorillas knock out the heroes' lineup with dirty tricks, the Sweetwater Shnooks put their mascot, a baby elephant named Bobo, in to play for them. The Gorillas protest, but as the umpire says, "There's nothing in the rule book that says an elephant can't pitch! Now play ball!"
Done again in "Baseball Bugs", but with the elephant (and everyone else on the team) replaced by Bugs Bunny. Who then proceeds to invoke No Purple Dragons everywhere.
Parodied on Clone High, where Lincoln directs a film called 'It Takes a Hero', based on the premise that "There's no rule that says a giraffe can't play football."
- Subverted in another episode, where there is a rule that says that women and animals cannot play boys' basketball.
In the 1980's Dennis The Menace cartoon, there ain't no rule that says a dog can't play football. There is, however, a rule that says plays cannot be made with a player's mouth, so Ruff is disqualified.
An episode of South Park that parodied (and was slightly named after) You Got Served (and these kinds of movies), had Stan's Ragtag Bunch Of Misfits dancing team include a dancing duck. Who gets injured, forcing Butters to finally join the crew with disastrous results.
An old episode of "Bots Master" had a robot playing children's baseball since each team was allowed one robot. (for carrying equipment but the rule didn't specify)

TV Tropes

Non-sports, meta example: There Is No Such Thing As Notability. Ain't no rule says anyone else had to have heard of your example!

Puzzles

A popular puzzle involves 9 dots in a 3 by 3 matrix, which you are supposed to get in 4 straight lines, without ever going through a dot twice, or taking your pencil off the paper. It says nothing about curved lines, so 4 straight lines going most of the way around, and a curved line hitting any left over dots is technically legitimate. Furthermore it doesn't specify what part of the pencil has to stay in contact with the paper, so tilting it over to the side to move it is also technically allowed.
- I'd say the definition of a "line" precludes your first solution.
- There is an actual solution to that problem, without resorting to any of the above tricks. You just need to think outside the box a bit. Several of the lines go outside the 'box' formed by the 3 by 3 grid. Draw an isosceles right-angled triangle starting across the top row, extending a little bit, hitting the two middle dots of the nearest side and the bottom with line 2, then going back up the other side for line 3. Then, just draw one last diagonal line to hit the remaining dots. And if you want to avoid hitting any dots twice, just start the first line a tiny bit across from the first dot. Easy!
- My alternate solution that I debuted in my 5th grade art class was to take a large paint-brush and cover the whole thing in a single brush "line" of paint... Aint No Rule that tells you how thick the line is supposed to be! I was told I was incorrect, but very much in the spirit of the puzzle.
- It can be done in 3 lines, also. The dots have some size, however negligible - they're not just points - so draw a Z with the angles sufficiently far away from the grid and the line will pass through some part of each dot.
  - That would actually require either ridiculously huge dots or a ridiculously huge piece of paper.

⊗

« Film Genres »

⊗

« Sports Story Tropes »

⊗

Main Tropes Index

Troperville

Editing

Tools

Toys