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Unaccustomed As I Am To Public Speaking
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redirected from Main.IAmNoOrator
Whenever someone publicly claims not to be able to give a speech, or talks about how ineloquent or rough-spoken they are, they're lying. Run for the hills, or resign yourself to giving them anything they want.
This Stock Phrase can be traced as far back as Ovid. He, however, puts it in the mouth of the Trojan-war hero Ajax, for whom it's perfectly sincere.
This is the standard tactic of the Simple Country Lawyer, and often leads naturally into a Rousing Speech.
Examples:
Theater
- Shakespeare loved this trope:
- Mark Antony says this during his funeral oration in Julius Caesar: "I am no orator, as Brutus is." He then proceeds to completely eclipse Brutus' previous speech.
- His claim that Brutus is an orator was one of the many Stealth Insults in his speech; he's hinting to the crowd that Brutus (who had previously convinced them that killing Caesar was the right thing to do) was a great orator and thus was just fooling them with propaganda.
- In Henry V, the title character courts Princess Katherine through a series of long, flowery speeches, in which he describes himself as a plain honest soldier rather than a courtier.
- In Richard III, Gloucester rants to his political enemies about how unpopular he is, "because I cannot flatter and speak fair". One scene earlier, he just convinced the widow of someone he murdered to fall in love with him through sheer force of personality.
- Othello, too, uses this one. Before he explains how he met Desdemona, he goes on for ten or twelve lines about how he's just a plainspoken man of action who can't speak well enough to do himself much good.
- Polonius in Hamlet goes on a lot about how brief he's going to make his speeches and how he's not going to use fancy rhetoric, until the queen finally snaps at him to get to the point.
- In GK Chesterton's Magic, the conjuror tells the heroine the story of a gardner who found his master in the garden addressing the flowers for practice, to explain his own behavior there; he was practicing his patter.
You know that story of the great statesman who was heard by his own gardener saying, as he paced the garden, "Had I, Mr. Speaker, received the smallest intimation that I could be called upon to speak this evening...."
- Parodied in HMS Pinafore. The 'common sailor' Ralph Rackstraw makes a long, flowery speech to Josephine, after which she claims that "his simple eloquence touches my heart".
Film
- Chris Cooper says this in The Patriot. "You all know why I am here. I am not an orator and I will not try to convince you of the worthiness of our cause. I am a soldier and we are at war".
Comics
- Destiny of the Endless makes this claim in The Sandman (Desire, who is present, mimics him and adds "or speaking at all," mockingly). Other characters gradually realize that Destiny still isn't really speaking publicly; he's reading publicly. It comes in handy to have a book containing everything that is, was, and will be.
- Subverted and lampshaded at the start of the Firefly comic Better Days. A military man addressing a audience says something like, "I'm not accustomed to making speeches, and unlike most people who say that, I'm not going to go on to deliver one." He then turns on a large TV display and lets the product he's trying to sell speak for itself.
Literature
- In The Bible, when the Lord tells Moses to lead the Hebrews out of Egypt, Moses asks how he is to do this when he cannot speak well (this is often taken to mean that Moses had a speech impediment). God tells Moses that his brother Aaron will do the public speaking for him. Film and stage adaptations always get this wrong.
- The novel version
 of The Force Unleashed multimedia project subverts this. When the apprentice joins a meeting of a group of Rebel Leaders, the narration notes that public speaking is as familiar to him as the Whirling Kavadango Dance. That is, he's heard of it and probably could identify it, but that's it. And so he doesn't say anything.
- In The Fionovar Tapestry Matt has to debate another dwarf and mentions that he isn't much of one for speeches, and this is true in comparison with his opponent. However dwarves see words and debate as extremely important, so his speech is still very good. And both of them manage to infuriate the judge, Matt by bringing in a prop for effect, the other by speaking a second time to refute Matt's claims.
Live Action TV
- Blackadder the Third. Prince George hires two actors to help him prepare to give a speech:
Mossop: All great orators roar before commencing their speeches. It is the way of things. Ah, Mr. Keanrick, from your Hamlet, please.
Keanrick: Hh-hmm (orates) OOOOoooohhhhh To be or not to be.
Mossop: From your Julius Caesar.
Keanrick: OoooHHHHOOOOHHH Friends, Romans, countrymen...
...
Keanrick: Now shall we try putting it all together?
George: Right. (adopts his heroic stance, screws up his face) RRROOOAAAAHHHHHHHH (then in a casual voice) Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...
- Firefly: Jayne, when forced to give a public speech for the "Jayne's Day Parade" (It Makes Sense In Context, though that's not how Simon sees it), starts off with "I'm no good with words. Don't...don't use em much, myself." This is pretty much true, but he makes a surprisingly good effort (for Jayne, anyway).
- And then, when he's exposed as a fraud and someone's killed, he gives another, much more impromptu speech that's also more heartfelt (and Jerkass-ish) and completely goes against what he said before, but is much more awesome all the same.
Western Animation
- The Simpsons: "If I could just say a few words ... I'd be a better public speaker."
- Averted in "Simpson Tide":
"Captain Tenille wishes to address you!"
"I'm a man of few words. [pause] Any questions?"
- Used well in "Trash of the Titans"
Ray Patterson: Oh gosh. You know, I'm not much on speeches, but it's so gratifying to- (sighs) leave you wallowing in the mess you've made. You're screwed, thank you, bye.
Moe: He's right. He ain't much on speeches.
- In a Crowning Moment Of Awesome, Daria had these last words to say to the host of characters at Lawndale High:
Um, thank you. I'm not much for public speaking. Or much for speaking. Or, come to think of it, much for the public. And I'm not very good at lying. So let me just say that, in my experience, high school sucks. If I had to do it all over again, I'd have started advanced placement classes in preschool so I could go from eighth grade straight to college. However, given the unalterable fact that high school sucks, I'd like to add that if you're lucky enough to have a good friend and a family that cares it doesn't have to suck quite as much.
Real Life
- Frederick Douglass, before making a speech at an anti-slavery convention, apologized for being ignorant from being in slavery so long. He then proceeded to bring the house down with an eloquent, moving, and well-reasoned speech. In his case, he was probably just unsure of himself and being modest.
- He was certainly being modest, but ignorant meant that he was unfamiliar with say, Aristotle or Homer or Milton. As the companion of his owners' children he got a very good education until he was old enough to work in the fields.
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