Danae: Well? What are you waiting for? Lucy: A good reason to do this... Danae: Two words, Lucy...Risk Management. Lucy: Oh, I think I'm gonna need a lot more words than that.
Two words: Spurious emphasis. Something so fundamental that it can be expressed in a snappy utterance, or just its mere existence. In fiction, if the reference is something the characters know about but never reveal to the audience, it can be an instance of "Two words: Noodle Incident".
For comedic effect, The Ditz or The Fool will sometimes miscount the words, or anyone may break a single word into two parts for additional emphasis.
Using this as a Pot Hole in examples in lieu of actually explaining the example is on par with Zero Context Example, and therefore discouraged, unless the word itself is already self-description. It may be obvious to you, but it's not obvious to everyone. Two words: Really Obnoxious. Besides, 500 examples cannot be that obvious!
Examples
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Accurate count of words:
Advertising
Denis Leary appeared in a number of MTV ads in the early 90s where he regularly invoked this trope, including this public service ad promoting tolerance and condemning racism:
"One word folks, racism. One more word, Earth. If anyone gets any mail from outer space, that's gonna be the mailing address, okay?...I've got two words for you, David Duke. I got two more words, Nose Job, okay?"
Sister Mary Clarence: I got two words for ya, Vince! Mary Roberts: Mary Clarence! Sister Mary Clarence: ...bless you.
In This Is Spinal Tap, one of the band's reviews for Shark Sandwich is "Just two words: 'Shit sandwich.'" This is one of the few times where the cast actually laughs.
Shrek tells Donkey at one point: "Two words: Shut up!"
In the film Beautiful Girls, Andera tells Tommy there are four words she needs to hear before going to sleep; "Good night sweet girl."
Later in the film, as Marty and Willie are discussing Willie's girlfriend Tracy, Marty says, "Two words not in her vocabulary; lunch money."
Literature
From Moving Pictures by Terry Pratchett: "In a word — im-possible!" "That's two words," said Dibbler (as a reference to legendary Hollywood producer Samuel Goldwyn, malaproper and simile-mangler extraordinaire).
Executioner: Do you have any last words? Prisoner: YES, JUST THREE. [beat]
Inverted in an episode of The West Wing; during a presidential debate Bartlet's opponent Robert Ritchie (a Bush parody) claims that Bartlet will try and excuse high federal costs with one big word: 'Unfunded Mandate'. In his rebuttal, Bartlet is quick to point out that that's actually two words, thus making Ritchie look more than a little ridiculous.
There's also a less flippant example in the episode "Stirred," where Bartlet explains that the reason he wants to keep Hoynes as his vice-president is "four words," which he writes down: "Because I could die."
Rudy Coby invokes the "two words" thing with this exchange:
Rudy Coby: Everything you've seen today can be explained with just one word: Offscreen Guy: Hairspray. Rudy Coby: No, hair spray is two words. One word: science.
In Married... with Children, when Kelly is rendered bald and bearded by the side effects of a pimple cure, the director of a beer commercial she was to star in cancels the shoot. Upon hearing this, the Straw Feminist group protesting the commercial threaten to sue.
Director (to Al): Can they do that? Sue on behalf of the ugly? Al Bundy: Four words: Attorney General Janet Reno.
Jammy the Stag Party Organiser: One word: Overhead Projector: PRAGUE Jammy: Two words: Projector: PISS UP Jammy: One word: Projector: TITS
A variation has appeared twice in Doctor Who, in that it is crucial to the plot. In the episode The Christmas Invasion, The Doctor emphasizes to everyone present that with only six words he can bring down Harriet Jones' government. He says the words "Don't you think she looks tired?" and Harriet Jones' government collapses within the day. In the Series 3 finale, Martha Jones prepares everyone in the world to say "just one word.. Doctor" at the exact same instant and, with spectacular use of a Chekhov's Gun (somehow), brings the Doctor back to his original state and saves the entire planet.
The first season of The Office some of Tim's papers are on Gareth's desk and he makes a ruckus about it while Tim is on a sales call.
Tim: What are you doing? Gareth: One word, Two Syllables, Demarcation.
Whose Line Is It Anyway? had a game where each player would be assigned a number, and they had to act out a scene by speaking only lines consisting of that number of words. Hilarity Ensues.
Stephen Fry, 6 words: 'Well I'm sorry, but it gets.' beat 'My goat to hear her talk!'
Kara DioGuardi, the new judge on American Idol, critiqued a contestant with "six words: one of the best performances of the night." Ryan Seacrest mocked her on the next episode by introducing her as "three words: Kara DioGuardi."
Garfield: Sigh. Christmas is over, and New Year's is almost here. Sigh. So it seems appropriate at this time to stop and reflect. To reflect on those three words which represent the true meaning and spirit of the holiday season... Boogie!Boogie!Boogie!
In the book Garfield's Book Of Super School Excuses, one of the excuses for "Why I didn't go to gym class" is "Two words: Towel snapping.", and one of the ones for "Why my library books are late" is "Two words: Hungry termites".
A Steve Martin stand-up comedy routine from the 1970s. "You can be a millionaire and never pay taxes. Yes, you can have one million dollars and never pay taxes! How? First, get a million dollars. Now, you might ask, Steve, what do I do when the tax man comes by and says, 'You have never paid taxes'? Two words: 'I forgot.' How often do we get in trouble because we don't say 'I forgot'? Armed robbery? Just say, 'I forgot armed robbery was illegal.'" The bit predictably ends with, "Two words: 'Excuuuuse me!'"
Denis Leary's early standup routine (as well as some MTV promotional spots) was full of this trope.
Theater
In A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, Pseudolus triggers the intermission just as he's been sentenced to death by begging to say a word ... just one word ... a very important word ...: INTERMISSION!
Video Games
In Destroy All Humans! 2, Crypto tries to convince British hippies that Arkvoodle has the best collection of music in the galaxy. When they ask what Arkvoodle listens to, Crypto says "Three words. And one of them's a disease. Blind Willie Syphilis."
There was a Spider-Man text adventure for the Commodore 64 whose parser only understood two word commands ("go north", "take mcguffin", etc). So when you wanted to web something up, you had to use the command "shoot web", to which the game would reply: "In two words: AT WHAT?" after which you then had to enter another two word command like "at sandman".
In Tales Of Monkey Island, if Guybrush asks Hemlock McGee what happened to his legs in Chapter 1:
Which he then reuses more than half a minute later to describe his opinion on the first episode of the cartoon based off of said movie.
Web Comics
The Order of the Stick had the three words Haley'd been longing to say: "Sneak attack—bitch!" Later lampshaded when Bozzok tries to pull the same "two words: sneak attack!" gag:
Haley: Oh my gods, I've done that "two words" gag like nine times already! You're going to need some fresher material if you want to be a villain in this story. Not that much fresher, but still.
Shojo reminds Roy that Roy's in as deep as he is with all these deceptions with Two Words: "your trial," then elaborates about the extent he went to rig things so they would be found not guilt of weakening the fabric of reality (as opposed to having mitigating circumstances).
And again in strip 252:
Nale: Oh really? Please explain why we're suddenly in such a hurry. Sabine: Four words: Out of fudge ripple. Thog:oh, little ice cream friends! thog delays boredom-driven rampage only for you!
Western Animation
In the "Late Show" episode of Space Ghost Coast to Coast, the #1 line on the "Big Ten list" is "'Two words.' * beat* That's it, just... 'two words.'"
In The Spectacular Spider-Man, J. Jonah Jameson gives a Seventeen Words response to one of Peter's protests, followed by him giving a 17-word suggestion. Humor ensues when Peter questions how fast talking J.J. Jameson could count the amount of words he would use in his next sentence in the split second it took him to say the words.
Parodied in The Simpsons episode "I Married Marge" when Patty says, "Marge, I've got two-and-a-half words for you. Gulp. 'N'. Blow."
When Lisa asks for advice on how to gently let down Ralph Wiggum, Homer suggests, "Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn."
Darkwing Duck after facing a huge fire-breathing monster; "Two words, breath mint."
Real Life
One of the best known examples comes courtesy of President Calvin Coolidge. When a reporter told him he had made a bet he could get more than two words out of "Silent Cal", the president replied, "You lose."
In Midnight Run Walsh is getting annoyed by Mardukas' nagging, leading to the following exchange.
Mardukas: Jack, you're a grown man. You have control over your own words. Walsh: You're God damn right I do, so here come two for you; "shut the fuck up".
In Reservoir Dogs, Mr. Pink says the line, "Two words: learn to fucking type."
True Lies: "Okay, I've got two words for that: In. Sane."
Analyze That has a scene where Billy Crystal's character is talking with a pair of police detectives, one of whom is an attractive woman in a short skirt. After Crystal's wife, played by Lisa Kudrow, catches him staring at her legs (and inadvertantly commenting on them via a Freudian Slip), she excuses herself from the room, then glances at the female cop: "Two words of advice, from one professional woman to another: Pant. Suit."
One time when he messed this up in Kingdom Hearts, Goofy even counted the words and got confused when he heard four instead of two.
"Two words: You guys. Ain't. Heroes!"
Then of course:
Phil: Now remember, the best way to become a hero comes down to two words. Goofy: *Starts counting on his fingers, Sora and Donald watch* Phil: Eat. Bathe. Sleep. Sora/Donald/Goofy: *Start laughing*
Phil: Two Words: Student. Teacher. Ratio. Ven: *Counting on his fingers* One. Two. Huh?
358/2 Days has him make at least one of these almost every mission he appears in. Also lampshaded when Roxas gets memory flashes of Sora during the first game every time Phil does it.
Harry Stamper (Bruce Willis) uses them often in Armageddon. One in particular ("AJ, I got just five words for you: Damn glad to see you boy!") had The Nostalgia Chick baffled and starting to count.
The miscounted words variant is used in Dude, Where's My Car? after Jesse and Chester get thrown out of the twins' house:
The movie Tank Girl, after the villain screams in her face:
"I got two words for you...Brush your teeth!"
Literature
In parts of Steven Brust's Dragaera series, someone who leads with "if I might say two words...", or any variation of that, inevitably launches into an extended exposition.
Rosalie Murray, in Agnes Grey, about Mr Weston (who is really a much nicer man than how she describes him): "I can give you his description in three words ... an insensate, ugly, stupid blockhead. That's four, but no matter ..." (That's actually five words.)
Live Action TV
Joey in Friends does this in "The One With The List": "I got two words for you. Threesome."
The West Wing. lampshaded in the season six episode "In God We Trust" by a Vinick adviser when he recommends that the senator continue to repeat four words:
"Fully respect Reverend Butler's position" "That's five words."
On an episode of TV's Mystery Science Theater 3000, Joel complains about something and Dr. Forrester responds with "Two words, Joel: Get Overit", even extending a finger for each "word".
In Scrubs, JD once used it for a diss — "Three words. Sucks to be, adding a fourth, you!"
In the original Australian version of Kath And Kim, Kath is always subverting this trope as a running gag, beginning with "Now, I've got one word to say to you, Kimmy..." and proceeding to say two or three. The running gag climaxes with the following quote:
Kath: Now Kimmy look at me. I've got one word to say to you: Move out tout-de-suite, go back to Brett. Get real, you'll never get any better!
In the Monkees episode, "Monkee vs. Machine"...
Mike: Remember these three little words: Don't argue. Peter: That's two words. Mike: You're starting already.
Hill Street Blues: one detective to another, explaining why the latter should stay away from a flirty high-school girl: "Three words, JD: Statu Tory Rape."
In an episode of Seinfeld where George is trying to break his engagement to Susan, Kramer suggests, "Two words: pre-nup."
In developing the rivalry between the musical cast and the young members of the King Lear cast in the third season of Slings & Arrows: "Three words: Stink Bomb."
Arthur: I've got two words; I'm staying right here! Carrie: That's four words! Arthur: Well, here's another four: screw you! Carrie: Dad, that's two words. Doug: Arthur, maybe you should stop saying how many words you're going to say in advance. Arthur: Yeah, once you do that, you're pretty much trapped in a hole, eh? Doug: I'll put my fist up your hole...
Played with in "Weird Al" Yankovic's "This Song's Just Six Words Long". The song itself has a lot more words than that. The title is exactly six words; however, many people assume he's singing "This song is just six words long", which would make it this trope.
Newspaper Comics
In Bloom County, the newly personality-reversed Steve Dallas attempts to convince his old, vapid girlfriend Quiche to look at things the way he now does.
Steve: Now I want you to say the first word that comes to mind when I say this: Celibacy. Quiche: Don't let the door hit you on the way out. Steve: That's ten words...
Jon: Ellen, how's about I zip over to your place and serenade you with my accordion? {silent beat} “Restraining order” is such an ugly word, Ellen. Garfield: That's two words, dummy.
Professional Wrestling
Paul Heyman, in a shoot-promo, fired off an often quoted version during the first ever "ECW One Night Stand" pay-per-view event, addressing members of WWE's RAW and Smack Down! brands who had crashed the show - in particular, Adam "Edge" Copeland:
Heyman: * I* have two words for you... (Paul steps halfway through the ropes, then flaps his hands outward) Heyman: MATT FREAKING HARDY!
Edge's response was to spit out his beer and yell back, "That's three words, Paul!"
And then use Matt Hardy's signature hand motion to indicate that it is indeed 3 words.
This being G&S, the director often has fun with it. One production has it rendered as "We propose-to-marry-your-daughters" (with the pirate counting the words on his fingers, and being surprised when he reaches six) while another has three separate pirates deliver two words each. Others have a pirate deliver the first two, "We propose," and have the Major-General be confused or offended that he's being proposed to before the sentence continues.
Christy: Does the word "splinter group" mean anything to ya? Padraic: "Splinter group?" Splinter group's two words.
Video Games
In Pokemon Black2and White 2, Call Hugh on the Xtransceiver before going to reversal mountain to ask where he is:
Hugh: One word, Reversal Mountain. No wait, that's two words.
Webcomic
In thisSchlock Mercenary strip, Captain Tagon is telling the woman who is technically his boss, to move. "Why are you issuing orders to me, Tagon?" "Two words: Bomb on Board."
Web Original
The internet reviewer Benzaie does this for amusement value, where he will sum up a game in two words, at least one of the words being four or five words all squished together; For example, he sums up the Sega Genesis adaptation of Bram Stoker's Dracula as "Two words: Castlevaniaripoff withagaymusic!" For additional comical effect, he can still mangle his description somehow even if it is just two words: "Two words: Abo Nus!"
In the Homestar Runner short "for kids", Strong Bad reacts to seeing Homsar's TV show for preschoolers:
Strong Bad: I've got two words for the children that are raised on that crap: HELD BACK. REPEATING THE THIRD GRADE. LOW STANDARDIZED TEST SCORES. I GUESS THIS WAS MORE THAN TWO WORDS.
In Kim Possible, when Ron and Monique are forced to do a project together and Ron blows it off, Monique asks why she should do all the work. Ron, who knows Monique cares about her grades, holds up four fingers and ticks off a finger with each word: "Four words: Grade point average". And then he licks some cheese he notices on the one remaining finger.
Legendary Malaproper and studio head Sam Goldwyn (the "G" in "MGM") is alleged to have responded "In two words: Im-Possible!" to a proposal he didn't like.
