Johnny: "No!...I don't wanna be killed by a monkey!"
Crow: "I want to die by my own hand!"
Time of the Apes was cobbled together from bits and pieces of a 1974 Japanese
TV series — SFドラマ 猿の軍団 ("SF Dorama Saru no Gundan"; literally, "SF Drama: Army of the Apes") . The series ran for 26 episodes and did not meet with much enthusiasm, not even from its "home crowd" in Japan. In 1987, enter Sandy Frank: buyer, producer, and importer of all manner of Japanese crap cinema. Sandy purchases the 26 episodes, gets rid of all but 4 or 5 of them, and
splices bits and pieces from these remaining episodes into a film. Kind of like a Frankenstein monster pieced together from garage sale leftovers. This film
capitalized on the
Planet Of The Apes series. Though entirely Japanese, the dubbed version gives the characters
English names.
The children Johnny (Masaaki Kaji) and Caroline (Hiroko Saito) travel to visit the laboratory of Johnny's uncle. There they are given a tour by young female lab assistant Catherine (Reiko Tokunaga) and get to see the lab's cryogenic chambers. Unfortunately a severe earthquake strikes. Catherine, Caroline, and Johnny take shelter in the nearest available cryogenic chambers, which then activate when rock falls on the on switch. They awaken in another time populated by a militaristic ape society, the outward appearance of which is similar to 20th Century Earth; the apes drive 20th century automobiles such as Buicks and Jeeps, carry M1 Carbine rifles, and wear Civil War era and 1970's clothing.
The plot then turns into a cat-and-mouse game. After escaping the apes, the protagonists are pursued into a booby-trap laden jungle area known as "Green Mountain.". A human in hiding, Godo (Tetsuya Ushio), helps them escape from the apes. A hermit, Godo knows little about his own background or other humans in the world, but is well-known to the apes as a fearsome warrior.
As they struggle against the apes in a series of never-ending chases, a flying saucer appears at key moments without explanation. At one point, the beings in the saucer appear to communicate telepathically with Catherine, who reveals that the saucer belongs to another society known as the UCOMM, a group at odds with the ape society. UCOMM also seems to hold the key to their efforts to get back to the 20th Century.
It was satirized twice by
Mystery Science Theater 3000 (once in 1989 and again in 1991). The writers seemed to take particular delight in little Johnny's offhand remark, when warned to be careful of a possible earthquake: "I don't care!"
You can watch this non canon version of the "Apes" movie,
here
.
Time of the Apes has examples of:
- Aerith And Bob: We get Catherine, Johnny, and Caroline alongside Godo, Pepe, and Gebar.
- Air Vent Escape: The air vent in the movie is only big enough for a small kid.
- The Alleged Car: The Commander's car which looks a little beat up.
- Ambiguous Gender: Pepe, her gender wasn't even revealed until the last third of the movie.
- Americanitis
- Annoying Younger Sibling: Johnny
- Archenemy: Gebar
- Authority Equals Asskicking: The Commander
- Bad Boss: Gebar
- Bait And Switch Credits: The opening credits have stock pictures that very little to do with the movie.
- Big Eater: Johnny
- Catchphrase: I don't care!
- Cheap Costume: The ape masks.
- Chekhovs Volcano
- Compilation Movie: This was butchered from a 26 episode TV series to make a TV movie. It's bound to be rather confusing at many points.
- Dead Little Sister: Gebar's wife and son; he believes that Godo was responsible for killing them.
- Determinator: Gebar
- Deus Ex Machina
- Downer Ending
- Dressing As The Enemy: Godo using a Paper Thin Disguise
- Dub Induced Plot Hole
- Everything's Better With Monkeys
- Evil Laugh
- Fainting
- Fashion Dissonance
- Flashback
- Follow The Leader
- Forbidden Zone: Green Mountain
- The Future
- Hong Kong Dub: It's easier to swallow the dubbing for the apes since the lips don't really move much.
- Human Popsicle
- Idiot Ball
- Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy
- Kill It With Fire
- The Load: Johnny
- Macekre
- Magical Security Cam
- Memetic Mutation
- Mooks
- Mysterious Watcher: The flying saucer.
- Narm: Johnny's I don't care!
- Nice Hat: Gebar's helmet
- No New Fashions In The Future: 70's style clothes look bad on people, just imagine those clothes on apes with crappy masks.
- No Peripheral Vision
- Older Sidekick: Godo
- Only Known By Their Nickname: The Commander
- Pale Skinned Brunette: Caroline, Catherine
- Parental Abandonment
Caroline: "Do, do you live here with your parents?"
Joel (As Godo): "NO, THEY'RE DEAD DEAD DEAD!!"
- Plucky Comic Relief: Johnny
- Reasonable Authority Figure: The Commander
- Rummage Sale Rejects
- The Scrappy: Johnny
- The Scream
- Shallow Love Interest
- Snark Bait: Johnny's I don't care!
- So Bad Its Good
- Special Effects Failure: Special note must be made the ape masks that have hardly moving lips. The special effects and sets might have looked at least decent back in 1974 but by the mid 80's those now look rather dated.
Johnny: "It's fantastic!"
Tom Servo: "It's cardboard!"
- Techno Babble: The explanation about the time travel but it sounds like Dr. Lee at the end is pulling this out of his ass.
- Too Dumb To Live: Johnny
Johnny: "With this knife, I'm not scared of anyone!"
Joel: "You're dumber than those rocks, kid."
- Time Travel
- Unfortunate Names:
Gaybar Gebar
- Vindicated By Cable
- Whip It Good: Gebar's electrical whip.
- Why Don't Ya Just Shoot Him
- Do Not Adjust Your Set
- Missing Episode: There's a rumor that Sandy Frank was pissed about the "The Sandy Frank Song" and took the license away but according to Word Of God, Sandy Frank just raised the licensing fee to the point that Comedy Central and Best Brains couldn't afford it.
- Ironically, because of the fact that the episode has never seen the light of day since it's original airing, it's made it even MORE "famous" amongst fans as far as fans building up the episode as being one of the most brilliant episodes of MST 3 K ever made.
- But, it did see the light of day after its original airing. Comedy Central reran it many times, it was included in the "Mystery Science Theater Hour" show and at least one of the Turkey Day marathons.
- Notable Original Music: The English lyrics added to the opening theme song.
- Public Service Announcement about why Johnny doesn't care.
- Doubles as a Crowning Moment Of Funny for those of us old enough to have been subjected to actual Bell Labs shorts in school.
- Running Gags
- Jokes about Colonel Sanders ape in a pimp suit.
- Jokes about ape hygiene.
- "Silence!" being followed with "Of the lambs!"
- Shout Out: To Gamera and Planet Of The Apes.
- Stealth Pun
