A satirical newspaper devoted to all aspects of American life and culture, frequently parodying tropes mentioned on this very Wiki. Started in 1988 as a print newspaper in Madison, Wisconsin (by a pair of students at the University of Wisconsin), it has since branched off into the internet, including video clips supposedly originating from the Onion News Network.Some people mistakenly thinkThe Onionis a legitimate news source, ranging from Christians against Harry Potter to the People's Republic of China. Others are aware of its parody nature.The Onion also has an entertainment/pop culture newspaper and website called the AV Club, which features pop culture news, reviews of almost every form of media (TV, albums, books, etc.) and interviews presented in a humorous but factual tone. The site's head writer is Nathan Rabin. The AV Club maintains a separate identity and has very little (if anything) in common with The Onion, mostly to avoid people mistakenly thinking that the AV Club presents fake news like The Onion.The Onion has in the past extended into a (critically derided, even by its own AV Club) movie, and most recently two TV series — Onion Sportsdome on Comedy Central and Onion News Network on IFC. There have also been two original Onion books - Our Dumb Century, a history of the 20th century told through fake Onion front pages, and Our Dumb World, a Hollywood Atlas filled with stereotypes and Dead Baby Comedy.
An autistic reporter covering a train accident: "Before the train came to a complete stop, it ran over three trash bags, a piece of gum, a Snickers wrapper, a man, and a glove."
Call Back: One article makes reference to an online voting system that allows millions of masturbators to take part in the voting process. Two days later, the article "Nonvoter Knew It Would Turn Out This Way" ends with the nonvoter admitting he might start voting if the online voting for masturbators was up by 2012.
Cloud Cuckoolander: Several of the columnists, but particularly flaky stoner dude Jim Anchower.
Jean Teasdale is a vicious and tragic deconstruction, as she's almost (but not entirely) oblivious to the living hell that is her life. This is Played for Laughs.
Continuity Creep: The show on IFC has some recurring stories, such as the one involving time travelers trying to kill Suri Cruise and the FDA official yelling for everyone to start eating healthier.
Joad Cressbeckler, first introduced as an "even more grizzled and ornery" alternative to John McCain during the "War For The White House", now has his own series (The Cressbeckler Stance) parodying FOX News' primetime commentary shows.
Several stories about an "Area Man" visiting restaurants are about the same man (Don Turnbee of Erie, PA) with the same photo model.
The world as a whole. In The Know's world has ghouls, robot overlords, baby skulls as jewelry... Rule of Funny produces some hilariously-horrific things.
Several articles are deconstructions, often by having something frequently portrayed in media happen to real people and showing what it would really be like, such as "Romantic-Comedy Behavior Gets Real-Life Man Arrested".
Dinner Order Flub: In Our Dumb World's entry on Burkina Faso, there's a joke about the very low literacy rate of that country when one of their diplomats tries to order a notice that an extra gratuity may be charged for large groups.
Early-Bird Cameo: In "Biden Criticized For Appearing In Hennessy ads", a spokesperson for Hennessy was seen on Fact Zone, which is where the show on IFC would take place about a year after the video was released. The show would occasionally be mentioned on the news ticker on some other videos.
"Thursday, November 3, 1995. Early afternoon. I have been working as a security guard at Clover Square Mall for two, maybe three months. The world is my oyster. I veer off my usual route and stop for a Mountain Dew at Mrs. Fields.
As I lean against the counter, shooting the breeze with Gail, I hear a distinctive clap-clap sound coming from the direction of Electronics Boutique. That sound can only mean one thing–running. Past Waldenbooks, Eddie Bauer, Lane Bryant and Sbarro runs a young Caucasian male. Paul, the assistant manager of Electronics Boutique, is pursuing him. I give chase, but I am too late. The perpetrator has escaped with a brand-new copy of Madden '96.
YOU COULD HAVE BEEN THERE. I was young, damn it. YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED HIM. I am a human being, not a god. HE IS OUT THERE STILL. I don't know that."
Narm: Invoked with "Study: Children of Divorce Twice As Likely to Write Bad Poetry" (no longer available online but can be found in the book Dispatches from the Tenth Circle).
Only Six Faces: The American Voices feature has been showing the same six or so photos for over a decade, with different names and occupations each time (though one of them is often a systems analyst).
Ambiguously used in the similar sports feature Fan on the Street, which always shows the same three photos with no names or occupations given. Lampshaded here.
The most famous example, arguably, is the Chinese newspaper falling for the story about Congress threatening to leave Washington D.C. unless a better building was built. The one about Harry Potter sparking a rise in witchcraft, as well as the video about the boy bankrupting the Make-A-Wish Foundation with infinite wishes, have shown up in some email forwards.
Poor Communication Kills: In Our Dumb Century, World War One ends when Archduke Franz Ferdinand is unexpectedly found alive; he had apparently been living as a Croatian peasant for several years and was completely unaware that everyone thought he was dead. The Allies are obviously displeased that the war was just a big misunderstanding, so the German chancellor orders Ferdinand's real execution to appease them.
Kornfeld: 'Cause I keep my fly shit on my desk. I gots my dope spreadsheets, my hangin' file folders, my delinquent-account file, my paper clips, my Post-It note dispenser, my monthly desk planner, my Midstate Office Supply business cards, my four-color ball-point pen, my motherfuckin' dot-matrix printer address labels, and my stoopid-fresh three-hole punch. Not to mention my computer. I swear, if I see any of y'all within three feet of my computer, I'll put a Lee Van Cleef on your bitch ass. I'll come at you like a mother fuck.
Not all that fly. Kornfeld was a big fan of Chicago.
From Our Dumb Century, "January 30, 1969 - U.S. TROOPS PULL OUT OF VIETNAMESE PEASANT GIRL; 27th Infantry Division ordered to fully withdraw from Sia Nguyen, 14. 'That's enough for now, boys' says captain."
Reckless Gun Usage: In this article, an 8-year-old boy who accidentally shot himself in the thigh wins praise from Strawman Politicals for having exercised his constitutional rights.
Gravity is Only a Theory: The article "Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory", where fundamentalist Christians are no longer content to get equal time with biology to preach theology in biology class. They now also want equal time in the physics class, demanding that the theories of Newton and Einstein step back in favor of the theory that the universe is held together by Jesus' love.
Activist Fundamentalist Antics: Millions more, however, have decried the recalcitrant Christ's apostasy, breaking ties with Him and calling His conversion "a heathen act" of "utmost blasphemy before Himself".
When the print versions need to fill a small space, they put in a small article with nothing but the repeated phrase "Passersby were amazed by the unusually-large amounts of blood." (which also appears in context during "Blood...Blood Everywhere").
Recurring article types include "[Corporation] scientists discover [related discovery]", among others. In the sports section, any article about Tim Duncan will make fun of how bland he is.
Clifford Banes has never actually appeared in his self-titled panel-discussion series In the Know with Clifford Banes; there's always a sit-in newscaster who gives a reason, often completely absurd, for Banes' absence.
The Statue of Liberty crying appears in many Kelly cartoons.
According to Our Dumb World, every single African country has at least one resident named MtumbeNgoube.
All the George W. Bush injury articles (see Butt Monkey and Take That) end with "Bush is resting comfortably at Bethesda Naval Hospital."
Schmuck Bait: During Fact Zone's intro, if you pause at just the right time you'll see a TinyURL address. It leads to a Rickroll.
Screwed by the Network: In-Universe. On the season finale of the show on IFC, The Cressbeckler Stance was canned so the network could introduce a new program about motorcycles in the spirit of the new American Dream.
Sex Is Evil and I Am Horny: One article commented on the scandal of the Catholic Church covering up for pedophile priests (by moving them around instead of ousting and reporting them, thus covering their tracks and giving them access to new victims) by having the Pope announce that God will forgive the children for their crime of leading his priests into temptation.
Smoove B: Lay your body down, and I will show you love. I will drape you in the finest black silks. I will travel to the finest Asian nations to attain this silk. Then, I will run my fingers through your hair. I will caress your body slowly and whisper in your ear while I do so. I will tell you such things as, "You are the most beautiful woman in the world" and "Your skin is like the most expensive Swiss chocolate money can buy" and "Your eyes are like windows to paradise," and other romantic things that will make you tremble with desire. I will hit you doggy-style.
Story Arc: In July 2009, T. Herman Zweibel sold the Onion to a Chinese salvage fishery, and the publication was quickly filled with pro-China propaganda and ads for fish byproducts. However, after a few days, the Chinese realized the collapse of the newspaper industry made their purchase worthless and gave the Onion back to its original management. This did not affect the AV Club, although they did let worried readers know that the company was indeed not sold to the Chinese.
In June 2011, a week of articles blatantly touted The Onion as deserving a Pulitzer Prize, following a Zweibel editorial stating that he hated Pulitzer and decided it would be the best possible way to piss on his grave. A lobby group was formed, whose president turned out to be an embezzler. Several celebrities appeared in YouTube videos promoting the campaign.
Strawman Political: The editorial cartoons are done by a strawman conservative.
Strictly Formula: All of Jim Anchower's articles pretty much follow the same formula — first he complains about his car, then mentions he lost whatever job he had for the intermittent time between articles.
Following Monday's deadly terrorist attack on a Carnival Cruise Line ship, U.S. officials have had difficulty issuing a stern condemnation of the incident, saying that while any act of terrorism is inexcusable, they couldn't completely blame al-Qaeda for wanting to blow up what is essentially a giant, floating symbol of everything that is truly god-awful about America.
Real Life example: An article was used for the 2005 English Language and Composition Advanced Placement exam...meaning that there was actually something to analyze in that article.
You Look Familiar: Todd Alan Crain (Tucker Hope) and Suzanne Sena (Brooke Alvarez) both were news anchors on the web clips as Jeff Tate and Ana Gentry, respectively.
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