Panik: "Why aren't you dead?!"
Yami: "As I explained earlier, I'm the main character. You, however, can just go right ahead and die."
So you’re watching a horror show,
slasher flic, or maybe an action show that promises a high body count. In order to prove just how high the stakes are and how willing the show is to be
Darker And Edgier and scarier, it bravely advertises that
Tonight Someone Dies! Not just anyone though, but
someone on the poster!
So who dies? That's a tricky question. Kill the
wrong person, or too early, and you risk angering the viewer. Execs and writers have, through time, trial, and (mostly) error, discovered that killing off "unpopular" minorities is safer than popular ones or majorities.
This has led many to notice patterns, a kind of
Sorting Algorithm Of Mortality, whereby a character's odds of
gruesome, violent death are established relative to the rest of cast. The following is a rough generalization, some movies or shows might mix it up depending on which roles and traits a given character has, but few outright
subvert or
avert it, and when they do
it's painful.
Compare
Acceptable Targets. Once killed, see
Sorting Matrix Of Deadness to see how likely they are to come back.
To use the
Sorting Algorithm Of Mortality, simply add the
Scream Score for each applicable row, then divide by as many rows (At this point, 11 or less). Remember: this is a relative score, so you need at least 3 or more characters from the same movie or series to establish a baseline. To keep this page clean, please put speculation on the mortality of a cast in the
Wild Mass Guessing Sorting Algorithm Of Mortality page.
| Likelihood of death | So dead | | Average life expectancy | | Die? Me? Ha! |
| Scream Score! | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1 |
| Age | Older And Wiser | Parent, Clueless teens | Single adult | Protagonist teens | Child |
| Sexual Orientation | Slut, Bisexual | Gay | Straight | Reluctant | Celibate |
| Love Interests by Genre | Rich Bitch, Horror Genre | Hooker With A Heart Of Gold, Temporary | Shallow, Romance show | Shrinking Violet | Distressed Damsel, Action Series |
| Role | Villain, Faceless Goons, Red Shirt, The Obi Wan | Loners, Plucky Comic Relief, Mauve Shirt | The Lancer, Colonel Makepeace | The Jor El | Hero, The Scrappy |
| Race | Black, Twofer's | Mexican | Asian | Indian/Native American | Caucasian or The Same As The Writer |
| Aesthetics | Ugly | Fat | "Average" | Fashionably Scarred | The Cutie |
| Personality | Nihilist, Crazy Survivalist, Innocent | Jerk Jock, The Ditz | Nerd, Jerk With A Heart Of Gold | The Captain | The Messiah, Friend To All Living Things |
| Flaws | Too Dumb To Live, Skeptical, Genre Blind, Dirty Coward, Greedy | Fell astray, The Stoner, Butt Monkey (gritty), Smartass | Wears Glasses | Crippling Phobia | Mentally Handicapped |
| "Virtues" | Holier Than Thou, Curious, Pragmatic | Quiet Girls and Quiet Guys | Smart, Genre Savvy | Action Girl | Pollyanna |
| Species | Robots (non-living), Undead, Snakes | Cats, Clones, Mechanical Lifeforms | Human, Human Aliens | Pretty Aliens | Dogs (except in literature) |
| Occupation | Retiring Law Enforcement Officer, Villain By Default, Happy Family Man, Competent secondary female | Military Commander, Anyone Serving Under Him, Hero's friend | Scientist With Questionable Ethics, Innocent Bystander | Adventurer Archaeologist | Super Hero |
