So demure. So elegant. So dangerous.
"Just because somepony is ladylike doesn't make her weak. In fact, by using her wits, a seemingly defenseless pony can be the one who outsmarts and outshines them all."
Take the delicate flowers, like the Proper Lady
and the Yamato Nadeshiko
. Their manner and appearance suggest meekness and submission. Both of them have perfect etiquette, never speaking out of turn, and their voice is an ephemeral whisper. They are kind and pure, ladies who are neither capable of performing, nor even understanding the brutish ways of others in the world. They are beautiful maidens clothed in fine dresses and soft gloves and hold silk fans... made of sharpened blades. Beware the proper
They might look like The Ingenue
, perhaps even purposefully
, but this rose has thorns
. Neither may ever show it publicly, but they have a cunning mind with sharp intelligence and a strong will that won't bow for anyone. Neither ever loses their cool and can take anything life throws at them. Should the time come to fight, they won't hesitate. There's likely a Chastity Dagger
hidden somewhere on her person.
Others may think they're powerless, but they know how to be subtle and operate within the means their "role" grants her. A word here, a look there, add a little subterfuge with Politeness Judo
, and often no one ever finds out they were manipulated. Things they approve of always somehow get done, things they disapprove of are somehow never accomplished. Neither of these women appear to be anything but the perfect lady, and yet they are far more than a wallflower, Home Maker
, or trophy wife. The husband that lords over the house? He's likely whipped by her
When the time comes when subtlety isn't an option for one of these girls? She fights
. Bravely, courageously, and without holding back. She won't turn away from danger or pain. She'll deliver the final blow herself — with violence if necessary — but she'll always mix the violence with class.
In the Southern US, these women are known as Steel Magnolias. Beautiful, elegant, and symbols of their region; but they will take you down if you mess with them or their loved ones.
Related character tropes:
Compare Cultured Badass
, More Deadly Than The Male
, and Kicking Ass in All Her Finery
. Contrast Girly Bruiser
which is a Girly Girl
who is also very tough.
For "Steel Hiding Silk", see the classical variety of Tsundere
, or, more literally, Samus is a Girl
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Anime And Manga
- On the surface, Captain Unohana seems to be the kindest, most motherly character in the entire verse. However, she's a captain in a meritocratic military, so she must be Badass. Then it's revealed the 11th Division is terrified of her. Then it's revealed she's the second strongest captain behind Yamamoto. Then it's revealed that this sweet, demure woman was the First Kenpachi of the Eleventh Division, meaning she was the most skilled, powerful, and battle-hungry swordsman alive. In fact, Kenpachi Zaraki modelled his Ax-Crazy behaviour on hers.
- Kanae Katagiri is a gentle Yamato Nadeshiko who serves the Ishida Clan as a Ninja Maid, quietly listens to her ward Ryuuken Ishida whenever he needs a confidante, and obeys her orders without a whisper of protest. However, when Ryuuken realises Katagiri went behind his back to reveal his secret to his mother, she doesn't hesitate to stand up to him and point out just how wrong his decision was. Later, when Ryuuken is forced to accept he's failed the clan and attempts to run away to live with his shame in self-imposed exile, her refusal to obey his final order, and the reason for her disobedience, is the sole thing that brings him back into line.
- Star Driver:
- Albedo Erma Felna EDF: The mother of the eponymous heroine. Eda, is a non-human and inverted example. Not so much in her earliest appearances (she once shocked Sonic in retribution for shaking her), but since obtaining her lynx form she's been nothing but shy, sweet, and nurturing... when she's not Brainwashed and Crazy.
- Diabolik has Altea. She's nice and always proper, and she'll remain perfectly proper as she's hiring a Professional Killer to murder a mob boss who had put a bounty on her fiancee's head or tricking the titular King of Terror into swearing he'll do the job she had hired that now dead killer for (as Diabolik always keeps his word, Diabolik took the time to kill the mob boss when he went to rob him)...
- The character of Pretty Butterfly, Twoflower's eldest daughter, appears in canon as Rincewind's reluctant bodyguard and escort in Interesting Times. While she looks demure, petite and a perfectly submissive Agatean girl, she is lethal in a fight. The canon hints she is Ninja-trained. Fanfiction takes this a step further. In the stories of A.A. Pessimal, Pretty Butterfly comes to Ankh-Morpork, ans accepts a position as the Assassins' Guild School's visiting lecturer in Agatean Studies. These include origami, flower-arranging, Agatean language tuition, how to wear a formal kimono (Girl students only), and how to chop somebody in two with a shuriken. Kicking somebody's kidneys out through their ears is also a skill she teaches to pupil Assassins, who refer to her with the most respectful honorific 'Koukouchou-sama''. Oh, and she's also quite fond of Rincewind.
- Kurosaki Yuzu grows up into this in the Bleach fanfics Phases of the Moon and Chasing the Moon. Her zanpakuto, Jungetsu, reflects this by being a pair of Combats with reiatsu blades. It's also an illusion-type.
- The Girl Genius fic On Her Undying Majesty's Secret Service has The Ingenue type in Melisande, and a motherly variation with her godmother/spymistress Baba Anya. Wooster is fully aware that the sweet little old lady probably has the authority to have him killed.
Films — Animated
- The Book Of Life:
- Maria becomes more proper after the Time Skip, but keeps her fighting spirit.
- La Muerte is a proper lady with a soul as sweet as the candy she's made out of. But, she's not one to be trifled with. Just ask Xibalba.
- Queen Elinor from Brave is always polite, graceful and well-versed in every courtly art. She stopped an all-out brawl by simply walking through the middle of it. When you threaten her daughter, she will make sure you don't hurt her again , being the one to kill Mor'du.
- In Epic Queen Tara is introduced as flighty and gentle, but willing to go through great lengths to protect her people.
- Several female leads from various Disney Animated Canon films such as:
- Cinderella puts on a stoic smile and cheerful demeanor every day in front of her oppressors, never letting them get to her despite her abuse.
- Beauty and the Beast: Belle reforms Beast first by standing up to him and then with more gentle affection. She's technically a captive with no authority the whole time.
- Peter Pan: Wendy, a very mature girl with the ability to influence someone like Peter Pan himself. During the Walk the Plank scene, she was the definition of composed. Tiger-Lily as well. When she was kidnapped by Captain Hook, in an attempt to get her to reveal where Peter's hiding place was, she refused to talk, even when Hook threatened to let her drown and possibly end up Barred from the Afterlife as a result of it.
- Hercules: Meg, though crossed with Femme Fatale and Broken Bird, fulfills the trope in her ability to manipulate like a damsel and her Heroic Sacrifice inner steel.
Films — Live-Action
- Seven Brides for Seven Brothers: Millie is an example in territorial America. She embodies every ideal of femininity at the time: she's not afraid of working hard; she cooks, cleans, and sews for seven men, and yet turns a house of barbarians into a matriarchy through sheer force of personality and timely laundering.
- Mary Poppins, the title character. A prim and Proper Lady; the only one not to lose her composure during the laughing scene. She also manipulates her employer with the ease of a pro. See her entry on Reverse Psychology.
- Horrible Bosses: Not only is Dale's situation an almost perfect Gender Flip of the workplace sexual harassment seen in films like 9 to 5, Dale himself is an almost perfect Gender Flip of the sort of sweet, innocent girls most likely to get harassed in films of that nature—complete with their deeply buried rage.
- The Wind and the Lion: Mrs Pedicaris may seem like a Victorian Proper Lady…but she's also a Lady of War with two children to protect.
- Sky High: Layla's Establishing Character Moment is encouraging a sunflower to grow with her powers. She refuses to use her abilities casually (and is thus written off as sidekick material) and spends the movie forging her Ragtag Bunch of Misfits into True Companions, encouraging Warren's Heel-Face Turn, and later- when there is actual need for her powers- curb-stomps The Dragon in seconds. These actions save dozens of lives and are vital to triumphing over the film's Big Bad.
- 1944 Sherlock Holmes film The Spider Woman: Adrea Spedding is a thoroughly evil version of this trope. She's beautiful, feminine, charming and polite, and even after Holmes and the police catch up with her, she never loses her cool or stoops to uncouth behavior. She's also a criminal mastermind who orchestrated the murders of several innocent people for their insurance money - and if Holmes hadn't caught on, the authorities would never have realized that the deaths had been murders at all.
- Iron Man: Pepper Potts is a polite, benevolent, elegantly dressed business woman cum art curator. She's also the only person who can wrangle a billionaire genius superhero; has obtained incriminating evidence from under a vilain's nose; fried him; oversaw the evacuation of a pubic event during an air raid; argued with the US government over the ownership of War Machine and won (as of IM3, it's on loan from SI); kick-punched another villain to death; and will deliver a mean burn if you demean her. Do not mess with the woman.
- In the Vorkosigan Saga series:
- Lady Alys Vorpatril is the perfect Barrayaran Lady: very concerned with being Right and Proper, in the old tradition of Barrayaran high society... and has enough leverage and experience to bend that society to her will without their even realizing it. She's not above playing dirty pool, either; One Upper-Class Twit brusquely dismisses the value of her opinion, offhandedly remarking to Miles Vorkosigan that "Lady Alys holds no vote in Council". The next we hear from Alys is a polite letter to Miles letting him know that thanks to some judicious social networking on her part, the twit in question is now down half a dozen votes (out of sixty total). She also blithely circumvents the standing orders that serving military personnel are required to avoid involving themselves in political matters by adding a written order for her son Lord Ivan to assist Miles - and at the time, she is technically Ivan's Commanding Officer. Miles doesn't take her up on it.
- Ekaterin Vorsoisson, although it takes some time for the steel to appear.
- Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan in the pre-Miles era. Starts as steel and saves an empire by protecting the child heir. Complete with running, hiding, feeding, dressing and ultimately parenting him until he's come of age. The silk grows on her.
- Edith Stone from The Rolling Stones. She's a quiet House Wife who appears to have no strong opinions, but her kids point out that no family debate is resolved until she weighs in, and she politely but firmly dismisses her husband's objections to her going on a dangerous mission.
- Lady Jessica in Dune: Bound concubine to Duke Leto. Basically his Duchess but not married for political reasons. She's also extremely dangerous and so says to Thufir Hawat: "You've glimpsed the fist within the Bene Gesserit glove".
- Katerina Montescue and Francesca De Chevreuse in The Heirs of Alexandria. Katerina develops into this, while Francesca begins as a High-Class Call Girl.
- Lady Sybil Vimes (nee Ramkin) more attempts this trope than succeeds in any conventional fashion, but the intent is there. She's convinced that there are certain duties a woman does for her husband based solely on the fact that she's his wife, so she does them, even though she's not very good at them. So she cooks and darns his socks even though she (and, since the wedding, Sam as well) is reckoned to be the single most wealthy individual in Ankh-Morpork and could hire someone different to do it every day of the week. In Thud!, the iron comes out when everyone is suggesting she stay behind where it's safe, and she silences everyone by naming every time one of her female ancestors has assisted their husband during times of conflict. In other words, her steel shines through, but she does try for the silk.
- Gone with the Wind: Melanie is a stellar example of this, and the book contains several monologues on the quietly awesome nature of 'true ladies' as Southern society calls them. She is sweet, humble, and seems frail as a kitten for most of the novel...but hurt her friends, either verbally or physically, and she will bring her persuasive abilities and status as Georgia's social keystone to bear by (metaphorically) kicking your ass.
- Malloreon: Velvet claims to be this but any woman who has graduated from the Drasnian spy academy doesn't qualify for Proper Lady status even if she is a Margravine. Possibly inverted to a certain extent in that she clearly resents the necessity of pretending to be a Proper Lady, and at one point does go off on a minor rant about people thinking she's harmless.
- Mercedes Lackey's Heralds of Valdemar:
- Herald Talia. One of her two single most significant moments in the series involved epic babysitting — specifically, being the only person in the kingdom kind enough, patient enough, and domestically talented enough to un-spoil the Royal Brat, Princess Elspeth. Which, given Elspeth's importance to the plot later on, saved the world at least twice over. She also holds the position of Queen's Own Herald — the monarch's entirely loyal, completely dependable friend and advisor. However, Talia is not tall, her hair is chestnut, curly, and short, and she can fight with a knife as well as a bow.
- A slightly stronger example of the steel that Talia hides comes near the end of the second book in the series when confronted with a man who had repeatedly abused and raped his step daughters and finally murdered one who was trying to escape, she with no hesitation and no remorse then or later Mind Raped the perpetrator into reliving all that he had done from his step daughters point of view until he had accepted what he had done was evil.
- The Alpha and Omega side stories of Patricia Briggs' Mercy Thompson universe.
- Anna Cornick. As an Omega wolf, she also has the bonus of soothing empath powers over other werewolves.
- Mercy Thompson herself. As a female coyote shifter in the sexist werewolves' world, she can't directly confront or even disobey the stronger werewolves, so she smiles and nods to their faces, but somehow she always gets her own way in the end.
- A Song of Ice and Fire is full of these; justified: due to the Crapsack World, highborn ladies (when not being full-on Action Girls) have to grow into this in order to protect themselves:
- Lady Catelyn Stark would rather be living quietly at home with her family, but she makes decisive actions when pressed to protect her loved ones. However, as the sacrifices and demands of her role grow, she becomes more and more weary of it. Jon Snow directly states there's metal in her, but it is iron and brittle.
- Her daughter Sansa Stark was initially the purest example of The Ingenue, but a brutal cutie-breaking is slowly turning her into this.
- Lady Olenna Tyrell (aka the Queen of Thorns) puts only the barest veneer of a proper lady over her thorny personality.
- Her granddaughter Margaery Tyrell, who plays the part of the sweet, polite queen-in-waiting perfectly - but she's obviously a lot more shrewd than she lets on; investigating King Joffrey's true nature and taking drastic measures to protect herself from him (all under Queen Regent Cersei's nose), as well as easily seeing through Cersei's efforts to get her arrested.
- Princess Arianne of Dorne, and a few of the Sand Snakes, are also this. The Snakes are Oberyn's bastard daughters, who he raises in the palace, educating them in all that young ladies should know...including battle.
- Doran Martell and his brother Oberyn pull something of a double-act version of this.
Doran: "Oberyn was ever the viper. Deadly, dangerous, unpredictable. No man dared tread on him. I was the grass. Pleasant, complaisant, sweet-smelling, swaying with every breeze. Who fears to walk upon the grass? But it is the grass that hides the viper from his enemies and shelters him until he strikes."
- Queen Cersei Lannister, the beautiful queen, is even more ruthless, brutal and power-hungry than most of the high lords of the realm, but she usually maintains a cold, dignified and ladylike facade in public.
- Daenerys Targaryen, a beautiful, demure 15-year-old girl, who has so far sacked three cities and is bent on reclaiming the Iron Throne. Also The Woman Wearing the Queenly Mask.
- A Tree Grows in Brooklyn: Katie Rommely is a little too willful and rebellious to fulfill it entirely. It's implied that her daughter, Francie, will grow up to be exactly the same: Beautiful and seemingly docile, but utterly iron-willed and intelligent.
- Steven Brust's Dragaera books: Lady Teldra is patient, kind, loyal, courteous to the point of magical to friends, strangers, and enemies alike, will never speak ill of anyone... and once just up and stabbed a being whose power was beyond that of gods to protect her friends. In general, all Issola are supposed to be like this. Their hat is social grace and unexpected strikes.
- Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Percy's mother Sally is endlessly sweet, kind, patient and loving, rarely ever gets mad or even raises her voice, and while she puts up with her husband Gabe's verbal (and physical) abuse to Extreme Doormat levels, Percy notes that she still shows subtle signs of defiance against Gabe and it's revealed later on that she stayed with Gabe solely to mask Percy's demigod nature with his stench and hence keep him safe from the monsters who would otherwise have hunted him down, and that once she no longer needs to protect Percy, she deals with Gabe on her own (with Medusa's head). Now that's being true Silk Hiding Steel.
- Many in the Tortall Universe.
- Also, Tamora Pierce's Circle of Magic series has the young Lady Sandreline fa Toren. So sweet, so kind, so composed. Oh, and she has thread magic? How...quaint. Surely she's no threat- OH GOD MY CLOTHES ARE CRUSHING ME.
- The Trope Namer comes from The Wheel of Time series, where Always Female Aes Sedai are frequently described in these terms. In order to master the female half of the source, one must "surrender" to it, and likewise the most masterful manipulators show every sign of being submissive... while somehow discreetly guiding people to their goals. Rand uses this exact term to describe Moiraine, and says the more forceful Elaida is similar but has "dispensed with the silk".
- Destructive Harmonics. Zandra's a downplayed example, as she is a punk rocker, but she's both the most traditionally feminine and the best at holding everything together in adverse circumstances.
- Safehold gives two stellar examples:
- Sharlyean Tayt-Aharmahk, empress of Charis. A skilled diplomat, a dedicated ruler, and a caring wife and mother. She's also perfectly willing and capable of helping her armsmen shoot a horde of attacking fanatics, or continuing to sentence traitors to death after getting shot by an assassin.
- The second is Madame Ahnzhelyk Phonda, who is a highly-cultured courtesan who caters to the most prestigious members of the Church of God Awaiting. Behind the scenes, she's a master spy and schemer who manages to sneak hundreds of people out from under Clytahn's nose. Oh, and later she trains and leads a small army of counter-revolutionaries.
- Young Wizards series: Elizabeth Callahan, Nita's mother. Former ballet dancer, dedicated homemaker, accomplished cook - but fully capable of facing down the Lone Power itself, without an ounce of wizardry to her name, when her daughter is at risk.
- The Parasol Protectorate: Alexia counters her inherent lack of morals by studying the manners and ethics of her time and at least acting the part of the Proper Lady so long as it is practical to do so. When it isn't, she displays enough sheer willpower to command a pack of werewolves. She also carries a parasol with a number of built-in weapons, and her Preternatural state gives her a distinct advantage against London's Supernatural population in close combat. The Finishing School Series, set in the same universe, features a school dedicated to the concept. Mademoiselle Geraldine's teaches everything a proper young lady should know, along with less traditional courses in seduction, spying and assassination.
- Dread Empire's Fall: Martinez's eventual wife, Terza Chen. She always bends to the will of her father and (arranged) husband, but proves to be very shrewd in advancing her and her family's interests. On rare occasions Martinez sees "an intensity that bordered on ferocity" under her tranquil veneer.
- Fiona Patton's Branion series: Includes both males and females, in which a Guild of Companions provides same-sex partners to the nobility. They are highly trained, and also serve as bodyguards, assassins, and spies (you learn a lot between the sheets).
- Denise Baudu from Zola's The Ladies Paradise. Completely selfless, everything she does is for the benefit of her brothers. She also shows humility under extreme provocation, and there is iron at the core of her character: she will not allow her ideals to be compromised, either through threat, hardship, or temptation. Denise is described as 'formidable in her gentleness'.
- Song at Dawn: Sanchez is a pro at balancing her Proper Lady and Manipulative Bastard sides. She has everyone fooled into thinking she's a twit when she's really Dragonetz's spy. She later becomes Estela's instructor in 'subtlety'.
- Sano Ichiro: Sano's wife, Reiko, is a well-mannered lady of the shogun's court. She's also an Amateur Sleuth and uses her high status and kind disposition to aid her husband's investigations. If she gets into danger, she'll usually make her own way out of it between her martial arts training and the dagger she keeps hidden up her kimono sleeve.
- Azzuen, of The Wolf Chronicles, is a male example. He's the runt of the pack, patient and intellectual- everything his love interest, Kaala is not. He considers her his alpha, and follows her with Undying Loyalty, even breaking pack law to protect her. And when Kaala starts to insult him and act like a Jerkass, he calmly and fearlessly explains to her that he will not tolerate such behaviour in a friend. This prompts Kaala's realization that Azzuen is a strong wolf in his own way- that not everyone who follows does so because they're weak- and gives her some much-needed Character Development.
- The Dresden Files: Charity is this- although she dislikes the series' narrator, so the readers rarely get to see the 'silk' part. She's a devoutly religious House Wife who raises several children, and she knows swordsmanship and thinks nothing of trekking into the Big Bad's freezing, Mook-filled castle to rescue one of her daughters. Harry describes her as 'a rose wrought of stainless steel.'
- Towards the end of In the Heart of Darkness, Belisarius' wife, Antonia realizes the Malwa spies she has been feeding (false) information to decided to kill her and works out how they would do so with maximum discretion, but what could a diminutive thirty-something ex-courtesan do with such knowledge? Try setting up a counter-ambush that leaves seven street thugs dead, one maimed, and one frightened soul keeping her at bay with a club as he screamed for backup.
- In John C. Wright's The Hermetic Millennia, Menelaus explains that despite her hyperbolically feminine appearance and her profuse declarations of love and harmony, Oenoe is a member of the Nymph security forces. Though she would drink potions of forgetfulness after the fight — to keep it from disturbing the hedonistic life — she is unquestionably a veteran.
- Jasnah Kholin in The Stormlight Archive. Beautiful, always elegant in her manners and appearance, princess of the most powerful nation in the world, and then she destroys a gang of robbers with Soulcasting. To be more specific, she turns the first one into fire (not sets him on fire, literally turns him into fire), then turns the second one into a glass statue and turns the final two into smoke as they try to run away.
- Also her ward, Shallan Davar. Despite being almost pathologically shy and a beautiful young lady, she is also a Shardbearer. To give context, it is unheard of for women to bear weapons at all in this culture, and Shallan has the equivalent of a pocket nuclear missile. It gets yet more Badass when you remember how she must have gotten that Blade in the first place, by killing a Shardbearer.
- The second book goes more into depth with the spoiler-marked stuff above, and it's MORE awesome. She's not just a Shardbearer. She's one of the new generation of Knights Radiant, an order whose abilities were granted for the explicit purpose of saving humanity from extinction. And her Shardblade wasn't obtained by killing a Shardbearer, it IS the Spren that grants her abilities.
- In Rose of the Prophet, the women of the Akar, Hrana and Aran are this, much to Zohra's ignorance. It's a major turning point for her to realize that just because they aren't bloodthirsty and waving swords around like the men that doesn't mean they are weak by any measure.
- Elizabeth in the Mr And Mrs Darcy Mysteries. She manages to fill the role of being a gentleman's wife well enough that she's liked and respected in society but she also does just as much legwork – mental and physical – as her husband when solving crimes.
Live Action TV
- Game of Thrones: Lady Olenna Tyrell, her granddaughter Margaery and her grandson Ser Loras (who is an androgynous-looking gay man) play around with people's stereotypes of femininity to appear much weaker than they actually are.
- Babylon 5:
- Given the status Companions hold, Inara from Firefly. She's classy, well-mannered, and serves as the Team Mom, but don't underestimate her.
- Merlin: Guinevere "Gwen" has aspects of this; as the future queen of Camelot she is not your typical House Wife, but considers her job as a lady's maid and castle servant a worthwhile one and doesn't hesitate to call out Arthur when he belittles the role. She is patient and understanding, was incredibly devoted to her father before he died, but will take up arms to defend Camelot or her loved ones at a moment's notice. In the first episode of season 5, Queen Guinevere discovers her maid is a traitor and promptly sentences the girl to death. This is to root out the girl's father, the real threat, but she does sentence a traitor to death for real in the series finale.
- NCIS: Los Angeles: Emma Mastin is at first presented as this but she proves that when her son is threatened, she has other qualities. It turns out that she had once been one of the best operatives among Chechyan rebels but had retired on her husband's supposed death. She'd seen enough death that the thought of home life was attractive.
- Upstairs Downstairs: Hazel Bellamy. Normally gentle and retiring, she does show back bone when she believes something strongly.
- The Big Bang Theory: Bernadette. Despite her height, her apparent meekness and her mannerly behaviour, she's among the rare characters able to make Sheldon shut up and abide. She can even handle Howard's mother, which is NO easy feat.
- Hell on Wheels: Lily Bell is beautifully mannered, elegantly dressed and coifured and capable of killing her husband's killer with his own arrow, trekking miles across a prairie and sewing up her own wound. She's also capable of slapping down a sneering sister-in-law both verbally and physically.
- Almost every major woman on The Borgias has elements of this, but former ingenue Lucrezia Borgia is perhaps its epitome. She may look and act innocent and adorable—yet she can also outwit kings without blinking and seduce Wide-Eyed Idealist boys in a heartbeat. And don't forget that she has her brother, sociopath and Sinister Minister wrapped around her little finger and ready to do her bidding.
- Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Keiko O'Brian. A prime example is the Season 1 finale "In The Hands Of The Prophets" when she absolutely refuses to bow to pressures from Winn that she teaches Bajoran spiritual beliefs in her classroom.
- New Girl: Jess is sweet and cute and initially comes off as helpless, but she can handle herself — AND YOU — and do so classily. She's a lot braver and more direct than her roommates at navigating problems that come their way as a household.
- Boardwalk Empire: Gillian is always polite, cheerful and proper, but she's also ruthless, encouraging her gangster son to murderous action and doing so herself when needed.
- Call the Midwife: Sister Julienne is calm, polite, ladylike, and forever unruffled, and can make anyone on the series do anything she wants them to do with nothing more than a few calm words, an eyebrow, and a polite smile. Nobody ever dares to cross her.
- Once Upon a Time loves this trope. Snow White, Belle, and Aurora, are all graceful and polite until they have a reason not to be. Even the Evil Queen was this way for a time.
- Downton Abbey:
- Lady Sybil Crawley is kind, generous, the peacemaker of the family, described as "the sweetest spirit under the roof"....and a unfailing advocate for woman's rights, fiercely rebellious of her aristocratic society and gutsy enough to become a nurse and run off with the chauffeur.
- Anna is consistently the most loyal and selfless character on the show, and Team Mum to half the cast but this doesn't mean she can't rip you apart with a few short words or single-handedly free you from prison.
- The picture on this page is Michiko Konda, with the ability "Whenever a source an opponent controls deals damage to you, that player sacrifices a permanent." This beautifully captures the idea of "I will calmly endure your abuse in public, and then in private I will always get my revenge" in a game mechanic.
- In Dungeons & Dragons Book of Exalted Deeds there is a goddess named "Estanna" who is the goddess of the hearth and home. Her clerics are literally the clerics of home keeping, but keep in mind this is a game where the cleric is regarded as one of the most powerful classes in the game so any Player Character who is a Cleric of Estanna is likely to end up like this.
- Exalted: It's very easy to make this type of character. In fact, there two Supernatural Martial Arts styles that seem designed for it. Dreaming Pearl Courtesan Style uses elegant clothing as weapons, meaning a practitioner can seamlessly go from a formal ball to a battlefield and back again. White Veil Style (which does not exist) is an extremely subtle martial art based around casual movements. If a White Veil master is doing his job, you won't even know you were in a fight until a week later when the magic poisons start to kick in.
- The Sidereal scene-length dodge charm, Defense of Shining Joy, is located in Performance, a caste ability for Sidereals of Venus (i.e. Joybringers). It reduces Defense Value Penalties for attacking, lets a character add their Performance to their Dodge when calculating Defense Values, and lets them use Performance Excellencies to bolster their defenses. One Sidereal Excellency (The Fateful Excellency) can turn an entire dicepool of the applicable ability into successes or double static a value. An experienced Sidereal of Serenity who doesn't focus on combat probably has both The Fateful Performance Excellency and Defense of Shining Joy. The Lesser Sign of Venus adds the Joybringer's Essence Rating to all of their and their nearby allies' Performance dicepools as successes. The Greater Sign of Venus is something that will make everyone fighting within a few miles have a bad day. Joybringers can be very formidable opponents even if they aren't all that martially inclined.
- Downplayed in Princess Waltz with Shikikagura Suzushiro, who looks, acts and tries very hard to be one of these. Stand in her way, however, and she shows a much more ruthless and bitchy side to her personality, and also possesses a powerful and brutal fighting style.
- Two in Kanon:
- Akiko Minase, the gentle and assertive mom who takes care of her daughter, nephew, and more than one girl in severe need of either a living place, kindness, or both (like Makoto).
- Sayuri Kurata, an Ojou who stands up to demons despite being a muggle, for her friend Mai.
- As an adult, Tori of White Dark Life is very submissive outside correcting her husband. But it's when antagonists start assuming that they can push her family around that she suddenly becomes unreasonably fast and armed.
- Grandmaster of Theft: Julia, the shy assistant that takes care of all the details of Vincent's business. This gives her a lot of power, martial arts aside.
- Imperium Nova: An ideal for House Suzumiya albeit with a female supremacy twist and a touch of Pragmatic Villainy on the side.
- The Lord Of the Supreme Council of The Questport Chronicles is usually an Iron Lady, hence the name, but occasionally indulges in this trope.
- Rebecca Stone from Demo Reel. Girly appearance, overly optimistic and not all there, she still gets the respect of two war criminals for being an intelligent, gun-toting Violently Protective Girlfriend.
- My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
- Rarity is always prim and proper, but she boldly charges in to fight a manticore, gets into an EPIC pillow fight, and single-handedly turns the tables on the Diamond Dogs when they try to enslave her. Notably, every time she's been in an actual fight, she doesn't rely on her magic; instead, she resorts to good old hoofticuffs, such as punching out mooks with right hooks.
- Fluttershy too. She definitely fits the character-type (humble, loyal, wise, nurturing, etc. but with a clear touch of iron). She initially comes off as an Extreme Doormat, as long as you don't push her too far or threaten her friends. You shouldn't do those things. That's when the other side of Fluttershy's personality shows. The side that can stare down a cockatrice as it's turning her to stone, or scold a giant dragon so hard that it cries.
- Princess Celestia as well. Granted, she generally desires a less formal relationship with her subjects and has a rather puckish sense of humor, but she clearly is a mare of great elegance and refinement. At the same time, when the chips are down, the steel comes out, as when she orders the Mane Six to do away with Discord (and later Queen Chrysalis) with all dispatch, or when she and her sister dealt with Discord themselves thousands of years before that, and King Sombra a mere thousand years ago.
- Her niece, Princess Cadance, is described by Twilight as all sweetness and light. As for the steel? Ask what's left of King Sombra. She denied him victory by keeping him at bay and inspiring those around her.
- Batman Beyond: Dana Tan as the affluent girlfriend of the new Batman, Terry. Sweet, supportive and the one of two people who can strike fear in him (the other being the original Batman). Unfazed when he tells her his secret. When in danger she can hold her own until he shows up. Even Bruce doesn't unnerve Terry as much as Dana; he'll sass the old man to his face, but only really gets worried when Dana is mad at him.
- In Captain Planet and the Planeteers, Gaia is wise and respectable and generally above lying, but one time she twisted a "Freaky Friday" Flip to get a villain's minion to do her bidding even after she switched back. On a daily basis, she'd have to be steel willed to put up with the pollution of the villains.
- Avatar: The Last Airbender:
- Toph Bei-Fong, daughter of one of the richest families from the Earth Kingdom....isn't this. She's crude, rude, and out-spoken but she had to act like a demure, helpless blind girl for 12 years so she can definitely act the part on occasion. Such as when the group neeeded to get into Ba Sing Se and she manipulated the clerk in check to get free passports.
- Played straight by Ursa, the wife of the Fire Lord and the mother of Azula and Zuko, and sister in law of General Iroh. While they run around the world and are driven by personal honor/ambition/friendship, she calmly takes care of her family. That means encouraging her children to play together, and killing her father-in-law and current ruler of the kingdom, while never breaking the mask.
- From the Sequel Series, The Legend of Korra, Asami is the Spoiled Sweet daughter of a prominent industrialist, pretty and proper... who is also a race car driver and has had the best self-defense training money can buy. She'll electrocute her own father if it means doing the right thing and saving authority figures and her friends from terrorists. As the fighting escalates, she dispenses with more and more silk until she better fits Lady of War than this trope. There's a visual cue to demonstrate the switch from silk to steel: her formal induction into the the Krew shows her switching from her 'rich girl' clothes to a trenchcoat and Power Fist.
- In The Ferals, Mixy is generally the most reasonable and sweet-tempered of the gang, yet quite capable of bullying the others into following her lead when she felt inclined to stand up for herself.
- From SWAT Kats: Calico "Callie" Briggs. Beautiful and compassionate, her official title is "Deputy Mayor" as Mayor Manx's Hypercompetent Sidekick. In reality, she's the one running Megakat City (a good thing, considering Manx's laziness and incompetence) and can become an Improvised Weapon User if one of the Rogues Gallery attacks her.
- Kim Possible: Yori, occasional ally of Kim and Ron, is unfailingly polite, philosophical, praises Ron constantly and never raises her voice under any circumstances. She is also one of the few people in the franchise who can hold her own in a fight with Kim Possible, even with Kim's "sixteen forms of kung fu".
- Justice League has plenty of Action Girls to go around, but there's a few who show this trope in spades.
- Truth in Television: Mary Ann Patten, the teenage ship captain's wife who navigated the clipper Neptune's Car around Cape Horn while pregnant and caring for her sick husband. She wasn't the only one like this. Rich New England shipping princesses of the nineteenth century were a tough breed despite their outward show of propriety. note
- Theodore Roosevelt was the Spear Counterpart of this trope. Though he preached "speaking softly" he was anything but in his day-to-day life.
- Jael of Heber, whose account is recorded in the Book of Judges. An enemy general, worn out from a long day of generalling, imposes on Jael's hospitality while her husband is out fighting. He asks for bread and water; she provides milk and a heavy meal. And a nice place to nap, since naps after big meals are nice. And while he sleeps she, ever the proper hostess, drives a tent stake through his head and the man's own sword through his neck. This would've normally earned her a death sentence or the scorn of her own community considering how people back then were BIG in Sacred Hospitality, but she was given a pass because the guy she defeated was that dangerous.
- There is an expectation that aristocratic and middle class British women will develop into this trope at some point in their forties if not before. To do otherwise is a sign of bad breeding.
- The Yamato Nadeshiko archetype relies on a woman being demure and softspoken, but able to handle herself and others if she's in trouble. Unlike what (often ignorant) Westerners tend to believe, if a woman isn't as plucky and strongwilled as she is dainty-looking, she is not a Yamato Nadeshiko. (There's even a specific term to define these demure and spineless "Asian woman": the "china doll".)
- In the animal kingdom, swans can be an example of this. They are often thought of as elegant and graceful creatures, but you should never ever approach a baby cygnet if you know what's good for you. Swans can flap their wings hard enough to break someone's leg. It's not their main form of attack, but they can knock a grown man down with frightening ease.
- Similarly, deer. Between Hollywood depictions of them and the fact they usually appear much more slender and graceful than, say, a horse, cow or moose, they're usually seen as somewhat dainty or fragile. However, anybody who has ever been victim to that frequent battle of Deer vs. Car will tell you that usually the deer will hop off (seemingly) unharmed, while you end up with your car's engine in the passenger seat with you. In example: A deer crashes into a moving bus, and its windshields are totalled. The deer is confused and dazed but otherwise unharmed at far as we can see, and it hops away the moment the bus stops and opens its doors.
- One should also take note of the deer's antlers, which are very much not for decoration. Let's just say there's a very good reason why many deer hunters construct their hunting blinds on stilts or plant themselves in the branches of tall trees where the deer can't get to them.
- Aung San Suu Kyi was until age 42, in the words of a biographer, "a dutiful housewife who produced home-cooked meals every day, ironed her husband’s socks, and sewed her own curtains and clothes". When her country needed her, she stepped up and made history.
- Borzoi, if properly trained, have been described as "gentle, with good house manners, and relatively silent" and they look the part. They are still hounds, and they're most known for chasing down wolves and holding them still until the hunter arrived.