"If men could control their dicks, do you think we would wake up every morning hard? Do you think I wanna deal with that in the morning? No, I just wanna get some coffee, read the newspaper."An erection isn't always wanted, or even the result of sexual arousal. Such a "Raging Stiffie" may not be erotic, but it is a staple of comedic fiction. Common causes of an unwanted or unexpected erection prevalent in fiction include:
— Franklyn Ajaye
- Overactive hormones: An unwanted erection with no or minimal stimulation is a fairly common (although hardly universal) side effect of being a male in real life. This is especially true for young, healthy males when they're working out, playing sports or engaged in other physical activities. In fiction, sufficient reliance on Refuge in Audacity or a sufficiently adult target audience enables this trope, allowing for comedic consequences and an exploration of "coming of age" issues.
- "Morning Wood": Also known by the Punny Name "Morning stick-ness". In real life, some males often wake up with an erection, particularly if warm. In fiction, any treatment of this inevitably degenerates into seriously off-color comedy. The correct medical term for this is nocturnal penile tumescence. While women generally have far more gender-specific common issues (Menstruation, childbirth) than men, waking up with an erection (which points upwards) and having to urinate is one of the few men do have that most women cannot experience.
- Viagra: This wonder drug does have the comedic effect of inducing erections that last a long time even if they are unwanted and the situation is inappropriate.
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- A British ad for Impulse perfumes showed a man in art school posing naked for a drawing. Then a really cute woman comes in. We're never explicitly shown it, but the imagery along makes it clear that this happens.
- Ads for erectile dysfunction medication (i.e. Viagra, etc.) usually warn that users must seek medical help if their erection lasts more than four hours. While there are a number of Viagra-related humor examples below, in real life, too much of a good thing is definitely considered a bad thing in this case.
Anime & Manga
For sneaky instances in manga, look for the Unsound Effect "kin kin kin" combined with any degree of blushing or nervousness.
- Neon Genesis Evangelion:
- The morning version is practically a defining trait of Ryo from City Hunter (manga only). As he says, "It just means I'm healthy!"
- The second volume of The Kindaichi Case Files manga had Hajime suffer from this. Worse yet, Miyuki thought it was something in his pocket and started going through them. The next scene Hajime has a slap-print on his face.
- In the Higurashi: When They Cry manga, Mion comments on Keiichi being "perky" in the morning (with an arrow following her gaze to his crotch, if the innuendo was too subtle for you). She may just be teasing, though... Keiichi does make a comment on how its her fault he'd be "perky" though.
- In the first arc of Kai, Rena survives becoming a zombie in Zombie Tag when she induces this in Keiichi.
- In Genshiken, Sasahara is implied to have one during his date with Ogiue after she whispers in his ear.
- Gantz: Teacher, Kurono's got a hard-on!
- In Full Metal Panic!, the novel version of End of Day By Day, when Gauron was reminiscing about how he first saw Sousuke, as well as talking about how Sousuke was a beautiful Assassin Saint that he wanted to kill and rape, Gauron starts taunting Sousuke... and through the darkness, Sousuke notices something from the middle of the bed that seemed to be rising and "beckoning" him. Since Gauron had no arms... or legs... and there's really nothing else other than that thing between his legs that could possibly be coming from the middle of the bed... yeah. It's sufficient to say that Sousuke was thoroughly freaked out.
- The second episode of Trapeze is about this, in the form of an erection that lasts for days. Eventually it's revealed to have psychosomatic causes. (it is acknowledged that this kind of priapism is unrealistic)
- Mahou Sensei Negima!: Makie notices that Negi is growing (NSFW)
- In Ladies Versus Butlers!, Sanae straddles main character Akiharu's lap in order to scrub his back (she apparently didn't think it through very well) and can't seem to work out what is poking her in the butt. (NSFW)
- Seiji in Midori Days: it's not his fault his body works just like any other boy's!
- Violence Jack: Shingo has this happen to him twice in the span of about 20 pages in the first arc, and it's used as a Defining Character Moment where he finds his masculinity. Both of which revolve around a tiger who he later befriends. In the first, it's from him imply staring the tiger down. In the second, he imagines said tiger to be engaging in some Lecherous Licking with Aira Muto when both of them are cornered in a hot spring by the same animal.
- There is a notorious panel in Parasyte where the main character (who has an alien in place of his right hand) gets aroused... and the alien, reflecting this arousal, turns into a giant penis.
- Saiga of Speed Grapher gets an erection whenever he takes exciting photographs with his camera.
- Oyasumi Punpun: Punpun goes on a date with a classmate and has a boner the whole time just from being with a girl and anticipating getting laid. She doesn't notice it. Goes into squick territory when he tries to rape her.
- Keitaro of Love Hina has been caught with one of these more than once throughout the series, due to the first two types. Much to his embarrasment.
- In Tenchi Muyo! GXP this trope shows up in an early episode. Since main character Seina won't wake up and get out of bed his friend Kiriko tears the covers off only to discover his morning wood, he is shown in the very next scene eating breakfast with a large red (undeserved) slap mark on his face.
- Pokémon: There is a G-Rated version of this trope in Brock whenever he meets a charming lady (regardless if they are already married or not). Basically, it's gotten to the point that when he doesn't have this around someone, he starts getting suspicious (often he's right; it's Team Rocket or someone else disguised as Nurse Joy or Officer Jenny).
- The titular character of Hajime no Ippo is repeated victim, as if being mocked by his gymmates for his Gag Penis wasn't enough. One of them happens in the water, when he sees his Love Interest in a swimsuit for the first time.
- The Umisho manga occasionally shows Takeda's reaction to the Fanservice surrounding him.
- Satou gets one twice in Ben-To — one in Episode 5 while Matsy takes care of him after he gets the shit beaten out of him by the Monarch and another one in Episode 7 after seeing the Brunette's top fall off. He manages to weaponize the latter by using it as a rudder. It Makes Sense in Context.
- Heavily implied in a Wandering Son chapter. Shuichi is getting a massage by their girlfriend but ends up getting an erection. Their older sister Maho walks in right when it happens, causing a stir. This is an even bigger issue since the protagonist is Transsexual.
- Riki in Ai no Kusabi is a Sex Slave who is often subjected to this as a form of torture by his master via a cock ring turned Restraining Bolt/Shock Collar.
- This happens a lot to Tomoki in Heaven's Lost Property. In the first episode, Sohara wakes him up because he's almost late for school, and when she sees that he has a massive erection, she freaks out and calls him a pervert. Following examples of this happening usually results in Tomoki getting the crap beaten out of him, including his erection being on the receiving end of Sohara's infamously life-threatening karate chops because of it, as if it's always his fault.
- Happens to Bird's Nest of Copernicus Breathing when he unexpectedly runs into Leo, the juggler of his old circus troupe. It was implied earlier that Bird's Nest had a thing for Leo based on the small smiles he gave him, but this confirms it. Ends in a A Date with Rosie Palms. Helps lead into one of Bird's Nest's Break the Cutie moments when Leo messes up his juggling routine and drops 16 pins on his head, causing one of Bird's Nest's Freak Outs.
- In My Bride Is a Mermaid, Lunar sits on Nagasumi's lap while he is helping her with her homework and eventually taunts him about how he is getting a little excited.
- In Lord Marksman and Vanadis, this is of the second variety, and played for humor. Tigre offhandedly mentions in Volume One that this is a bad thing to have when Teita wakes him up in the morning and his body is uncovered, and he later has another when sharing a bed with Olga, the wandering Vanadis, which she calmly points out and doesn't hold against him.
- A Certain Magical Index:
- In the light novel version of the Angel Fall arc, Kaori Kanzaki forces Touma Kamijou to strip and then starts poking and prodding him to check for injuries. Naturally, he gets an erection.
- During a meeting of the world leaders, Roberto Katze, the President of the United States, reads a dirty magazine and shamelessly hits on the females in the room. His secretary looks down and is disgusted by what she sees.
- In episode 10 of Onegai My Melody, after Kikuchi helps save the day, he confesses his feelings for Kanade. Then he looks down at his crotch and embarrassed, turns away and pulls his shirt down.
- In Amagi Brilliant Park, Triken constantly records, watches, and edits videos of sexy girls. He often comments that he'll need to hunch over for a while.
- Defied in the first Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS Sound Stage. When everyone goes to a public bath, Erio decides to go to the men's side even though he's young enough to go with everyone else to the woman's side. Since he's in a group with attractive women who's ages range between 10 and 32 (which includes his coworkers, his boss, and his mom), this was a very smart move.
- Osomatsu-san: In Episode 22, Jyushimatsu gets a boner from over-excitement when his younger brother Todomatsu mentions a mixer. It doesn't go down for a good part of the skit (though we don't actually see it since it's strategically covered), even after he puts ice on it and submerges himself in a tank filled with iced water.
- Ichi the Killer: Played horrifically by the titular Ichi, a Sadist, once got a Raging Stiffie so bad nothing would relieve it. Even a blowjob from the local love hotel only made him puke, his "friend" Jijii resorting to giving him meds just to keep it down. Eventually, he is able to get it down, by jerking off to the sight of his recently acquired prostitute friend being abused by her boyfriend. Yeah.
- Causes a problem for Thugboy when he is sharing a bed with Ninjette in Empowered.
- The Boys features a Russian super named "Love Sausage''. He runs into a topless bar and is incapacitated because he can't run straight with a massive erection.
- In the National Lampoon comic strip Timberland Tales by B.K. Taylor, Maurice the little Canadian-Indian boy inadvertently sees Kathleen in the shower and gets a sudden erection - he panics and cries out "'Alp! Some kind animal in Maurice's pants!"
- New 52: Blue Beetle gets one when he meets Red Lantern Bleez. He gets embarrassed and unsuccessfully claims that the stiffie is just part of his armor.
- In Nightwing Annual #2, a flashback to Robin's and Batgirl's teenage years showed them trapped in a safe together, with Batgirl's Sensual Spandex causing some problems for Robin. When Batman gets them out, Robin hunches over and holds his cape in front of him, prompting Batman to ask if he's okay.
- In one of the Superman: Earth One books, Lex Luthor is reading an important document when his wife walks up to him naked. He hunches over and complains that his brain needs all the blood it can get.
- In the Buffy the Vampire Slayer comics, befalls Giles, of all people, with Faith when she comforts him by hugging him. Give him a break though, he was resurrected as a twelve year old.
- A Redwall fanfic existed in which two guys fell asleep spooned together, and when they woke up one's erection had managed to work its way inside the other guy's rectum while they were still asleep. MSTing here.
- In the Death Note fic Seigikan Light has this problem the morning after having a beautiful dream of defeating and killing L.
- In Cadence In A Minor, part of Shining Armor's angst is that he gets these a lot whenever he thinks of or is around any female, but as soon as he's with his wife Princess Cadence, he can't get it up.
- In the Harry Potter fanfic The Shoebox Project, Remus gets these after having Homoerotic Dreams about Sirius.
- In My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanon, there's a related phenomenon called wingboner: when a pegasus gets aroused, his/her wings spread on their own. This succeeds in converting more than a few events in the series into DoubleEntendres.
- In chapter 9 of Advice and Trust, Kaworu gets a boner while Rei is yelling at him. Needless to say, this only makes the First Child even angrier.
- It happens again in chapter 10 after he looks inside a box that Rei gave him (which is heavily implied to contain a picture of her naked).
- The Proposal (see below) is parodied in an episode of I'm a Marvel... and I'm a DC, with Deadpool as Ryan Reynolds and Wonder Woman as Sandra Bullock. Bullock was linked to the Wonder Woman role for a while.
- Gantz Abridged :
"Sensei, Kurono's got a boner!"
"Kurono, did you bring enough erection for the rest of the class?"
"No Ma'am, just enough for the girls."
- During a dual-synch test with Rei in Neon Metathesis Evangelion, Shinji has a certain problem.
Ayanami wiggled slightly. Oh gods. She was wiggling again. Maybe she was sitting uncomfortably, which would be... ehem... EHEM... understandable. Though the wiggling did the exact opposite of helping with that problem. Damn it, are those suits thin!
Films — Live-Action
- When Charlie Sheen's character came Back for the Dead in Scary Movie 4 this was part of his death. He accidentally swallows a whole container of Viagra in a failed attempt to overdose. His penis inflates to ridiculous proportions and he throws himself out of a window, landing face down, with his hips nowhere near the floor.
- After being kissed by Black Widow in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, she asks Steve if he's still uncomfortable. Bonus points in that she bought him clothes a size too small already. Uncomfortable, indeed.
Steve: That's not exactly the word I'd use to describe it.
- Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy:
Veronica: Mr. Burgundy, you have a massive erection.
Ron: Really?... Yes, I do... Um, I'm sorry, it's the... it's the pleats. It's actually an optical illusion. It's the pattern on the pants. It's not flattering in the crotchal region. I'm actually taking them back right now. Taking them back to the pants store... Oh, this is awkward... I'm gonna walk... I'm gonna walk this situation off... and I will see you later... Nothing to look at... Go back to work, everyone... Don't act like you're not impressed.
- The title character in The 40-Year-Old Virgin twice wakes up with morning wood and has trouble, uh, aiming while going to the bathroom. Parodied in The 41-Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Then Felt Superbad About It, where it manages to reach his chest and then his forehead. It's then implied that he can use it (once it has shrunk back, presumably) to turn the pages of the newspaper he's reading.
- Similar to the above, in 40 Days and 40 Nights Josh Harnett's character wakes up with an erection that causes him trouble when doing his breakfast... and later has problem when he is visibly aroused during a work meeting.
- Me, Myself & Irene: "Irene, why am I pissing like I've had sex all night?"
- In I Think I Love My Wife, Chris Rock's character has one of these when he takes Viagra. Which results in his having to be drained in the back of an ambulance with a very large needle.
- The opening cartoon of Monkeybone shows this happening to a young Stu Miley. In fact, Monkeybone himself is the personification of Stu's libido, as his name would suggest.
- In Shriek if You Know What I Did Last Friday the Thirteenth one of the teens appears to die of a heart attack, but it's later revealed that he'd taken an entire bottle of Viagra in anticipation of a sexual encounter, and the raging erection kept his heart pumping.
- In his documentary A Complete History of My Sexual Failures, Chris Waitt is suffering from erectile dysfunction and takes loads of Viagra. He gets an erection that will last for about eight hours and runs around the streets of London accosting women and asking them to have sex with him, a quest which ends with him spending the night in a police cell.
- The Proposal: Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds' characters are posing as a couple, and try to act as if they were just spooning.
Sandra Bullock: What is that?!
Ryan Reynolds: It's... The Morning.
- Played hilariously in Sorority Boys. One of the boys Disguised in Drag is taking a shower when the sorority's president playfully joins him. "Stop poking me in the butt!" It should be noted that the president (and also the love interest of the guy she's taking a shower with — both when he's disguised as a woman and when he's a full male) is very near-sighted.
- In The Man with Two Brains, Steve Martin is teased by his new bride, and when he steps over to the french doors (lots of little glass panes), we hear the sound of glass breaking. He looks down. And again when he stands up with his hat on his lap. Let's just say he doesn't need to hold it there with his hands.
- Road Trip. Old man + Baywatch + Viagra.
- Chev Chelios gets "a steel hardon" after taking too much epinephrine in Crank.
- Part of the opening sequence Bubble Boy. He wakes up one morning and (due to being raised by a very conservative mother) believes that a rodent or similar has invaded his pants during his sleep. So, naturally, he grabs the nerf (with metal-core) baseball bat near his bed and gives said vermin a stout rap on the head... He then calls in his mother for help with the problem, which they solve by reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. Then look down and recite it again.
- Occurs in Peep World with Nathan, during a medical exam based off his premature ejaculation.
- Happens in Bad Teacher to one of Cameron Diaz's underaged students when he watches her washing a car in skimpy, wet clothing during a car-wash fundraiser (for the class, but actually for her breast enlargement). She's doing it to seduce her rich colleague, but it works on several others as well.
- Emperor Nero uses this to his advantage in History of the World Part I to find out which of his wife's attendants is an imposter. (The rest are eunuchs.)
- A conversation between Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle in Batman Returns (after Bruce has just apologized for suddenly leaving during their previous date, and they are pressed closely together while dancing on a ballroom floor):
Bruce: So...no hard feelings?
Selina: Well...semi-hard, I'd say.
[Bruce looks down and becomes embarrassed]
- In Love and Other Drugs, Jake Gyllenhaal plays a pharmaceutical rep who becomes extremely successful when he starts selling Viagra. While on hiatus with his girlfriend, he goes to a pajama party thrown by a sexy coworker and has a threesome with her and another woman, right after the coworker pretty much force-feeds him a Viagra pill. In the morning, he finds out that this trope is in full effect and he runs to the hospital in his bathrobe to get it looked at.
- In Without a Paddle, the boys get stranded in the woods in their underwear and are forced to share body heat to survive. Dan gets an erection while thinking about the hot girls they met earlier that day, which freaks the other two out.
- Discussed in The Full Monty:
Gerald: What if it happens in front of 400 women?
Horse: Just think of the most boring thing you can come up with. ... Gardening. The Queen's Speech.
Guy: Nature programs.
Gerald: I like nature programs.
Guy: But they don’t give you a hard-on, do they?
- In an interview with Olivia de Havilland in The Adventures of Errol Flynn, she revealed that they had to film their kissing scene 8 or 9 times. The first of those were naturally to get multiple takes to chose from. The last ones were after Flynn had to take a break because he started getting fairly "uncomfortable in his pants".
- In a Deleted Scene of Lolita (1997), Humbert gets sexually excited while tussling with Dolores on the sofa. She asks if he's ill because he's bending over while going up to his room. Humbert claims a toothache and quickly returns to the sofa.
- Pretty Cool:
- In Kevin & Perry Go Large, Kevin is caught up in a bank heist, and told to keep his hands where the robbers can see them. One of the tellers bends down slightly to fill a bag full of money, inadvertently giving Kevin a brief glimpse of cleavage. He hits the silent alarm under the desk, without moving his hands.
- In Birdman, Edward Norton's character gets one onstage in front of 500 people.
- One scene in the third film of the Meet the Parents series features Jack using a viagra substitute he found in Greg's bag to satisfy his wife, shortly before confronting him with it. Greg quickly notices the slight bulge in his father-in-law's dressing gown and has to give him a very painful injection directly into it to counteract the effects before he has a heart attack. A particularly bad time for Greg's little boy to walk in on them.
- In Under the Skin, when the alien seduces her victim into the black void, they all take off the clothes and get erect penises.
- In The Dreamers, Theo forces Matthew to have sex with his sister. He tries to run away, but they catch him in the kitchen. Isabelle gets Matthew's pants down and we get an extreme close up on his erect penis.
- In The Blue Lagoon naked Richard is seen swimming with an erect penis. In the sequel Return to the Blue Lagoon, his son, also named Richard wakes up with morning wood.
- In Swiss Army Man, Manny (who is a corpse, by the way) gets one when he sees a picture of a beautiful woman in a magazine, and his erection is used as a compass.
- In A Brother's Price this happens quite often to Jerin. Not surprising, as he's young and rarely sees women to whom he isn't related. When an attractive woman intentionally makes him think about sex, he's helpless. It also happens to him when his bride-to-be inspects his naked body for birth defects, a common practice in this culture. She comments that, apparently, everything is in "good working order"
- Morning wood comes as an unnerving and mortifying shock to a woman who has switched bodies with a male friend in Curse The Dawn.
- Guy Gavriel Kay's The Fionavar Tapestry offhandedly mentions this as a character gets out of bed and, with minor difficulty, into his breeches.
- Nimue Alban in David Weber's Safehold books learns just how "fully functional" her robotic body is when, as the male Merlin Athrawes, he learns that the Safeholdian version of rugby is played in the nude, and Nimue, for all her body was male, was still a woman where what was attractive to her was concerned. When Cayleb learns Merlin's true identity and is reminded of this incident, he finds it absolutely hilarious.
Cayleb: Oh, my God! That was why you stayed in the water! Why you were so damned careful about that towel!
- Flashman: Sir Harry Flashman finds that his rather ragged trousers are quite incapable of disguising his—er— respect for the shapely but quite mad Queen Ranavalona of Madagascar.
- Judy Blume's book Then Again, Maybe I Won't is about a boy going through puberty. He often gets erections at embarrassing times, such as in school.
- In The Pursuit of Happyness, Chris Gardner relates that, as a teenager, he often had unwanted erections at completely random times. One particularly embarrassing one happened while he was about to help up an elderly woman he used to take care of.
- In Bridget Jones Diary, Bridget dances with a teenage boy she meets at a party during a smoke break.
"... the trouble was, he seemed to have, well, not to put too fine a point on it, the most enormous erection I've ever had the good fortune to come across, and us dancing so close it was not the sort of thing one could pass off as a pencil case."
- My Uncle Oswald is about the titular uncle selling viagras.
- In a short story by Stephen King called "Autopsy Room Four", a paralyzed man about to be autopsied by doctors who think he is dead is saved at the last second when he gets an erection.
- In The Dresden Files book Cold Days Harry ends up getting one during a life-or-death fight, while riding behind Murphy on her motorbike. While it is played partly for dry comedy, it has some pretty serious undertones, as it contradicts Harry's assurances that he's got his Blood Knight Super-Powered Evil Side, i.e. the mantle of the Winter Knight, under control.
- In Mass Effect: Retribution, this happens to Nick not thirty pages into the book when he's talking to Kahlee Sanders.
- In Maskerade, Salzella and Bucket are described as walking very awkwardly as they retreat - in some haste - from the room after dining upon Nanny Ogg's Chocolate Delight with Special Secret Sauce.
- The Sheriff in The Heart She Holler gets one after his Jail Bait Wait for Hershey was reduced from ten years to a week. Yes, he really plans to wait ten years for her to be legal again.
- A Jackass skit has Johnny Knoxville walking around with a fake penis in his pants acting completely unaware of it.
- Kevin and Perry from Harry Enfield and Chums got these in pretty much every episode and multiple times in their own movie.
- Chris from Skins has this problem in one episode, due to taking a whole lot of viagra. It gets really awkward later when he dances with Angie(whom he likes) and she notices it and leaves.
- Something like it happened to Kryten on Red Dwarf when he became human; though it didn't cause embarrassment so much as curiosity. And two polaroids.
- Word of God says that Craig Charles's funny reaction to being handed the pictures was real, because the 'prop' pictures of a penis were replaced with real ones at the last minute without telling him.
- In another episode of Red Dwarf, in order to win a basketball match, Lister and Rimmer spike the opposing team's drinks with a 'virility enhancement drug'. As The Cat put it, "try moving fast with a fishing pole in your pants!"
- Captain Hollister takes a swig too, and later complains of having to do a handstand every time he wanted to use the urinal.
- Degrassi: The Next Generation:
- Happened to Spinner in an episode. The large size of it caused a bit of Memetic Mutation in the fandom.
- In season 10, Wesley falls asleep in class dreams that he ate dinner with his crush Anya, but the dinner goes badly and he wakes up with an erection.
- Elliot in Scrubs treated a patient that suffered this due to a Viagra overdose. A Hurricane of Puns ensue.
- A Speculative Fiction-Viagra version happens to Jason in True Blood after he does way, way too much V.
- In the CSI episode "The Accused is Entitled", one suspect cannot stand up after having popped some Viagra on the plane. When Catherine finds out that the erection has lasted for several hours, she tells him to seek medical attention.
- This apparently happens to Jake during his birthday party on Two and a Half Men after he mistakes Viagra for vitamin pills.
Berta: The kid's gonna need another party hat.
- The entire premise of this The Whitest Kids U' Know sketch.
- The first time Holly spoons with Ben on What I Like About You, her alarmed Inner Monologue makes the audience aware that the duckies on his boxers are moving.
- Meredith on Grey's Anatomy has a one-night-stand with a guy who turns up at the hospital the next day. "It hasn't gone away since we... you know..." Meredith was humiliated, Bailley was annoyed, Derek was hurt, and Cristina found it freakin' hilarious. "What? It's not my fault you broke the guy's dick!"
- The infamous "Erection Steve" from the British Talent Show Xtra Factor. To be fair, he is in the vicinity of Cheryl Cole (whose reaction is priceless).
- Mad About You had one in the episode Paul tries Viagra.
- Victor gets an erection in his "Tabula Rasa" state because of latent attraction to Sierra (who is showering right next to him). This is regarded as Serious Business by the Dollhouse staff. However since it's Joss Whedon, it also leads to a funny moment:
Victor: I'm having a man reaction.
- Whiskey slips into Topher's bunk in a twisted attempt at seduction.
Topher: What-What the hell? Are you drunk?!
Whiskey: I'm just trying to be my best.
Topher: I-I don't want your best!
Whiskey: [looking down] Oh I think you do.
Topher: [grabs a shirt and covers his crotch] That is the minority vote. And you tricked it! Guy's asleep... could have been Fozzie Bear and... not that I think about Fozzie Bear...
- Victor gets an erection in his "Tabula Rasa" state because of latent attraction to Sierra (who is showering right next to him). This is regarded as Serious Business by the Dollhouse staff. However since it's Joss Whedon, it also leads to a funny moment:
- In an episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, the perp gets one during his trial. Everyone can't help but stare at it when he, without thinking, stands up. Worse, it was being established that he liked torturing women.
- The Inbetweeners:
- Happens in the first episode, where Simon gets hard off a girl he likes when she flirts with him. His mate spots it and shouts out to the whole room that he has a boner, and from then onwards Simon is known as "Boner".
- A subversion in the fashion show episode; Simon is wearing ludicrously small, tight pants for aforementioned show and his friends repeatedly warn him of the perils of an unwanted erection. Instead one of his testicles falls out.
- 1000 Ways to Die: in the segment "Erecto-Phobia", a cuckolding boyfriend suddenly finds himself with a little soldier who just keeps standing at attention. He takes advantage of the situation by sleeping with several girls throughout the night...before dropping dead due to being poisoned by a Brazilian wandering spider. One of the symptoms of said spider's venom? Priaprism!
- Queer as Folk did the Viagra version of this with Ted, giving him what appeared to be a 24-hour erection. Of course, since Ted tends to be a chew toy, the problem resolved itself as soon as a hot man tried to pick him up.
- Saturday Night Live:
- A fake commercial for an anti-virility drug, designed to prevent unwanted boners, like when driving your daughter's cheerleading friends home from practice.
- An an earlier episode had an ad for "Dr. Porkenheimer's Boner Juice", which proclaimed, "If you experience an erection lasting more than twenty-four hours, call a friend and brag about it!"
- Cash slips Cameron pills that do this in Breaking In as part of their prank war.
- Joe from Glee gets one of these when he's helping Quinn out with her physical therapy.
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
- Willow goes all out to try and seduce Oz. She gets a bit worried when he stands up and she thinks he's going to leave, so says she's ready to sleep with him. Oz quickly decides he needs to sit back down.
- Xander wakes up from a dream involving scantily-clad teenagers having a pillow fight, to the reality of frumpy girls in pajamas complaining about a blocked toilet. He asks them to give him a moment before getting out of bed, as he 'has a cramp'.
Bethany: It looked like a pretty happy dream — or maybe the covers were just rumpled.
- Darla has been trying to corrupt Angel by using magic to send him dreams of his vampire kills. He claims to find them nightmarish, but...
Cordelia: Open the door!
- In "Waiting in the Wings", a spell is making Angel and Cordelia start Kissing Under the Influence, so they try to get out of the room where it's affecting them.
Angel: (struggling with door) Kinda hard.
Cordelia: Kinda noticed.
Cordelia: Good thing it wears off right away, huh?
- And then when they finally get out...
Angel: Yeah. [takes off jacket and folds it in front of his pants]
- In the Rizzoli & Isles episode "This Is How a Heart Breaks", Maura realises a 'corpse' just delivered to the morgue is not dead when he gets an erection and she feels a pulse in his penis.
- Jacob, one of the eponymous guest characters in the second-season 2 Broke Girls episode "And the Three Boys With Wood."
- Game of Thrones: The morning version happens to Jon after being forced to sleep huddled up close to Ygritte to stave off the cold.
Ygrotte: Did you pull a knife on me in the night?
[Jon suddenly stands up, hunched over and clearly embarrassed]
- Ryan Lochte, on a recent episode of his E! reality TV series What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, was shown laying in his bed, admiring his prodigious, erm... rudder.
- Phoenix Nights during the club's 'Family Fun Day' with a bouncy castle from Amsterdam...
- In The New Statesman, Alan ends up having to hijack a plane, and he takes the Sexy Stewardess hostage. He holds her back against him to use as a human shield with one hand, and holds a grenade in the other. She begs the fliers to "Do what he says, he's got a gun pressing into my back!"
- Antoine in the first Challenge: Battle of the Sexes season ended up having one during a mission when flirting with a judge. As he was in a pool of water and wearing a speedo, she calls him out on it to hilarious effect.
- In the Haven episode "Lay Me Down", Audrey wakes Nathan up while he was having an Erotic Dream about her. He looks down and awkwardly covers his lap with a pillow.
- In the Spin City episode "Bone Free" it serves as both a plot point and Book Ends, with Randall unable to stand up at a press conference because "while he was seated, the Mayor was fully erect", Mike spending the bulk of the episode finding a plausible medical reason for the Mayor to be unable to stand for a standing ovation, and Mike experiencing the same problem at the end on account of a fantasy about the attractive doctor who explained away the mayor's apparent snub as "sleep deprivation". Never mind that both Carter and Stewart experience the same condition when they're raiding Nikki's apartment to dig up dirt on Nikki's deadbeat boyfriend.
- The Affair: While they're staying at Yvonne and Robert's mansion, Alison helps out with Robert's physical therapy after he fires his housekeeper. After massaging his legs and telling him about her passionate affair with Noah, she realizes that he's rock hard.
- Supernatural. Sam is having an Erotic Dream when Dean wakes him up because he wants help with some research. Sam awkwardly looks down at his crotch, then pretends to be stretching so he doesn't have to stand up right away.
- The Young Ones: One episode has Neil locked out of his room while taking a bath, and forced to walk around covering his privates with a pot. At one point he moves his hands and the pot stays on...
- Community: In "Digital Exploration of Interior Design", the Subway executive listens to the tape of Britta and "corpo-humanoid" Subway's apparently "way out of the mainstream" sexual explorations in disgust and horror. When it comes time to leave, however, the executive seems curiously reluctant to leave his seat:
Subway executive: If someone could hand me my jacket?
Pierce: (helpfully) It's right over there on the coat-rack next to the door.
Subway executive: ...If somebody could just hand it to me, that would be great.
Dean Pelton: I guess I'm confused; why don't you just grab it on your way out the door—
Subway executive: You know what? Now I'm not leaving! Now I'm just going to sit for a while and focus on how unacceptable today was.
- The Replacements song "Gary's Got A Boner".
- '80s Hair Metal band Dangerous Toys had a song titled "Sportin' a Woody"
- "Erection" by The Faint.
- In any genre where you have men in tight pants this trope is almost guaranteed to happen at least once on stage. Usually far, far more often than that, although it's almost always desired to show off.
- Has become Memetic Mutation for Yoshiki of X Japan and Violet UK, alongside jokes that he either has a camera fetish or takes a certain blue pill before photoshoots and shows, due to the somewhat large and growing collection of pictures from photoshoots and performances. It's also arguable that if it is on purpose, it is as much as a subversive protest against Japanese censorship ideals (and possibly Western racist stereotypes regarding Asian men) as much as it is for fanservice.
- Sweet, Getting Crap Past the Radar: "Little Willy".
- "Morning Wood" by Rodney Carrington.
- Also "Dear Penis"
- Paul and Storm reference this in their "Rejected Commercial Jingles" segment Twister.
- "Too Close" by Next is about the singer getting a boner while dancing with a girl. Indeed, the first line of the song (album version) goes as follows:
I wonder if she can tell I'm hard right now? Hmm...
- Played for Laughs with Ninja Sex Party's song No Reason Boner.
- Barenaked Ladies - "A"
"A's for arousal, you are giving me an erection/C'mon I'm trying to show affection/For longer than a half an hour"
- ZZ Top's "Woke Up With Wood. It doesn't get more obvious than that, folks.
- Oasis album "What's the Story Morning Glory?" Or did they refer to Ipomoea purpurea?
- Runnner's boner: K.T. Oslin mentions seeing a runner with one - much to her delight in "Younger Men":
Whoah, look over here
We got a cute little ol' runner to right
Blue shorts, no shirt
Whoo! You're lookin' good darling
That's right, stay in shape
- Mentioned multiple times in J Cole's "Wet Dreamz": "That's when my heart starts racing and my body start sweatin'/Baby, you done woke my lil' man up" and "I'm in her crib, now a nigga palms' sweatin'/With a pocket full of rubbers and an erection".
- An entire song by the band Luce on the subject ("In the Middle There"):
There was a mutual attraction in a woman and a man
But it was me who had the growing situation on his hands
So I just stood there in the middle there
- The Red Hot Chili Peppers' Sir Psycho Sexy gives us this lyric:
Deep inside the Garden of Eden
I'm standin' there with my hard-on bleedin'
There's a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen
Good God no, that would be treason
- John Cena thinks that Trish Stratus is utterly gorgeous. So when Santa gives her to him as an early Christmas present (she was his partner in a mixed tag team match in December) he can't help but show how... well, how excited he is.
- Midway through the first full Women Of Honor show, Casanova Wannabe Matt Taven decided to take a seat at the commentary table. This was a mistake.
"I should have worn sweat pants."
- One pubescent male character in the musical The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee gets an "unfortunate erection" in the middle of the titular bee. This being a musical, of course he has a song about it.
- In Aristophanes' Lysistrata, the male characters wear hilariously large codpieces to show their, er, mounting frustration at their women refusing to sleep with them.
- Angels in America: The Angel's approach makes men... turgid.
The Angel: The stiffening of your penis is of no consequence!Prior: Yeah, try telling it that.
- "Hello Twelve, Hello Thirteen, Hello Love" from A Chorus Line, being a montage of adolescent experiences, touches on this subject.
- Happens to Shiki waking up one morning in the Visual Novel Tsukihime. His personal meido who comes to wake him up is either oblivious to why he's staying under his blanket or is deliberately trying to embarrass him. Hilarious, right? Then on Ciel's route, it becomes extremely unfunny when he can't get it down for a much more serious reason: his body is no longer solely his own, and now Shiki has urges to kill people and gets off on it. This requires... you guessed it... a Deus Sex Machina to resolve.
- Played twice for humor with Shirou hiding his in Type-Moon's other Visual Novel Fate/stay night, once by Saber, and once by Ilya.
- A Running Gag in True Love Junai Monogatari is how the Chivalrous Pervert of a Player Character gets those in the worst moments possible (in example, when giving CPR to a pretty girl he's just saved from drowning), and he's greatly embarrassed.
- In Edelweiss Eiden Fantasia, Kazushi's friends want to help him resolve his sexual tension with Sakura. So what do they do? Well, obviously they trick him into taking a strange pill which gives him a raging boner, and then lock them in a storeroom for several hours. Hilarity Ensues.
- In one strip of Ghastly's Ghastly Comic, Smokey wakes up and notices that he's harder than he's been for twenty years. Then he notices that the erection is on the side of the bed he isn't.
- Venus Envy's has the main character Zoë, a preoperative male-to-female transsexual teen trying to hide the huge erection she's having due to seeing both a hot new guy, and her school's football team running around shirtless.
- In Skins Rabbit meets Tyr in the elevator after having had an intense HomoeroticDream about him the night before. In the last panel, he looks away blushing, hands cupped over his groin.
- In an early strip of Questionable Content, Faye hugs Marten, and decides to pretend he has a roll of quarters in his pocket.
- When Rayne for Least I Could Do encounters a particularly hot woman, he occasionally gets an erection big enough to cause him to fall forward.
- In an update of Homestuck, BrainClone Dirk threatens to give one to Jake. He does.
Jake: NO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT GIVE ME A BONER DIRK!!!
- Visibly tented pants come up occasionally in Concession, but generally no attention is drawn to them. That said, there is an erection-based joke here.
- Sandra and Woo: Cloud seeing Sandra in a swimsuit.
Cloud: No! Not now!
Cloud's groin: You can no longer tell me what to do!
- Then it gets worse as Sandra notices, and all girls present (along with his own mother) proceed to tease him about it.
- Whateley Universe:
- Phase mostly looks like a very pretty 14-year-old girl, but still has male genitals and thoughts. And he showers with the girls in the morning. Several of whom are superhumanly attractive. He spends a lot of time brushing his teeth every morning, in front of the most strategically placed mirror in the room.
- Later in the series, when his new (and not at all welcome) roommate, Vamp shows up, the two start out the first morning by elbowing each other for room at the mirrors. Eventually Vamp (who is both intersexed and pansexual) gives up, but gives not before throwing a Take That! at Ayla: she stood and saluted him, then explained that she was waiting to see if he would 'run a flag up that pole'.
- Similarly, an oft-posted one-panel comic (source unknown) is a man looking down at his tented pants.
Man: Stop it, boner.
Man's Groin: No.
- Similarly, an oft-posted one-panel comic (source unknown) is a man looking down at his tented pants.
- How to Hide an Unwanted Erection
- Cracked once did a Photoshop contest on "Worst Possible Time to Get an Erection".
- Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal Theater Superhero Tryouts features Awkward Boner Hug Man. Uncomfortably.
- Key of Awesome's take on this.
- Catherine Zeta-Jones causes this in The Nostalgia Critic.
- In the second episode of Team Four Star's version of Hellsing Ultimate Abridged, Jan Valentine's comment at watching Seras Victoria rip through his ghouls like paper with an almost sexual Slasher Smile on her face? "Well, at least I'm going to die with a raging boner."
- Also, Alucard prefers to argue with Integra over the phone because it gives him a boner. Doing it in person is "Super Awkward."
- Echo Chamber: "Why she doesn't like me? It's like she couldn't even see my boner!
- Dolan, here and in many other cartoons.
- Played for comedic effect a few times in reviews from The Cinema Snob. Evidently his penis is around 10 inches long, and at one point he even taps it to show that he's gotten literally rock hard from the scene in question.
- Cody gets one in "Bowser Junior's Summer School Part 3" when watching Toad's "Educational" Music Video (read: a rap accompanying a girl shaking her ass).
Cody: Nooooo... my elephant feels funny...
- Flander's Company: In the Japan Expo episode, Dr. Parker suffers from this while interviewing Andromalia (a succubus). Hippolyte gets away with just a Nose Bleed, but only by thinking about lots of dead puppies.
- Soundman Steven, the man behind the sound boards during Kakos Industries corporate shareholder announcements, has had an erection that has lasted for years. It first went up when Corin Deeth III set up their first studio for the announcements and never went down. It is so prodigious that Corin is uncomfortable with the idea of allowing Creepy Child Darkmother Belladonnica in the same room with him, though he acknowledges that one has nothing to do with the other. The episode "Momento Mori" is all about a memorial service for Soundman Steven's erection following its being accidentally shot by Corin at the end of the previous episode.
- Jimmy of South Park once had this problem, and not even sleeping with a hooker helped.
- Peanut from Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law. His shield went off when he hit "superty".
- Beavis and Butt-Head:
- There was an entire episode which centered on the morning wood. It turned out the reason for it was a "Morning Wood Fairy".
- In another episode, they go to get their hair cut from a buxom hairstylist. Just being near her breasts while she shampoos their hair gives them erections that last all day. She waits so long for them to go down that Todd shows up and decides to cut their hair himself so that he can take her out on a date.
- In another one, they go to an erectile dysfunction clinic, somehow concluding they can score there. Given a test to see how long an erection they sustain looking at provocative pictures, they look at the first picture and pretty much stay up the rest of the session. And when Beavis' starts to go down, Butthead reminds him that they get to have sex with the girls after, it's right back up.
- The Simpsons:
- One of Springfield's surprising number of prisons is called Morningwood Penitentiary.
- Although nothing is shown, Skinner suffers from an unwanted erection after Bart spikes his coffee with Viagra.
- Robot Chicken:
- A fake advertisement for a toy called "Morning Wood". It was Exactly What It Says on the Tin: a piece of wood that you play with in the morning.
- Another skit involves Sailor Moon where a monster was aroused by her sexual poses. They decided not to fight, since his erection ruined the moment. The next part has the monster aroused by Queen Beryl's anger. Lastly, she's apparently aroused by Sailor Moon after looking at her picture.
Queen Beryl: Anime sure is weird.
- In the He-Man skit "Eternia Fitplex", Triclops serves as Skeletor's spotter while he's lifting weights, but then he spies the Sorceress exercising and gets a boner, disgusting Skeletor and causing him to drop the weight on himself.
- The Venture Bros.:
- A nearly-drowned Hank is given mouth-to-mouth from Molotov. He acts suave and worldly until he sees the erection in his shorts, and runs screaming "My pants are haunted!!!", after dealing with the ghosts of an Indian burial ground earlier in the day.
- Molotov Cocktease gave one to Brock as well.
Brock Sampson: I gotta take care of something.
- Another episode had 21 sneaking in at night to capture Hank and Dean while they were sleeping, only to discover that Dean had one of these when he pulled off his blanket.
- Family Guy: Peter Griffin once had this happen while riding on a motorcycle:
Cleveland: Hey, Peter, what the—
Peter: It's the vibration.
- American Dad!:
- Steve's friend Snot pops wood at the drop of a hat, and has many different names for it.
- Steve himself is almost as susceptible, at one point getting one after being slapped by Toshi's sister.
- Stan also gets one after Francine describes an explicit shower scene with her and several bullies at school.
- Snot again when he tries unsuccessfully to "dick knob" Francine.
- In the episode "The Last Mabelcorn" of Gravity Falls this is heavily implied when Dipper puts on a machine that shows his thoughts and there are several about seeing Wendy in a bathing suit.
"Maybe if I cross my legs no one will notice!"
- In the episode "Brain Eraser" of Regular Show, this trope is somewhat subtly implied when Mordecai catches a glimpse of Pops naked as Pops is getting out of the shower. Pops shrieks in a panic and covers his crotch with his top hat... which somehow stays in place after he removes his hands.