"...like the SAS commander, who has the sort of absurd facial hair that indeed would have given him a proud military bearing circa 1915, but nowadays just makes him look like a German porn star."A style of facial hair that resembles the classic "handlebar mustache", but is thicker and bushier on top, with no other facial hair underneath. Often used to (at least in the wearer's intentions) indicate a guy's "rugged" or "manly" nature. This trope has a Fashion Dissonance problem. For most of the 70s and early 80s, it was considered authoritarian and manly, and associated with cops, military men,note and sex symbols like Burt Reynolds and Tom Selleck. But people born in the 80's and later came to associate the Porn Stache with their fathers and other elder men in their lives, killing its sex appeal for many and making it difficult for modern viewers to take such characters seriously. More recently, moustaches have once again become prominent in some circles, although it is sometimes associated with Hipsters. A subtrope would be "All Gay Men Have Porn Staches". Whenever a cartoon or comic shows a Gay Bar (especially if the series isn't normally aimed at queer audiences), at least half the men will sport a mustache like this. During the age of the Castro clones, this was to some extent Truth in Television. Nowadays, however, it's no more popular among gay man than it is among straights, and its resurgence in the 2010's is still seen as hipstery even in gay circles. Not to be confused with a Porn Stash. If you try hiding your stash in your 'stache, it will hurt like the dickens, unless your 'stache is truly badass.
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Anime & Manga
- Master Asia from Mobile Fighter G Gundam.
- From the original Mobile Suit Gundam, Ramba Ral.
- Mobile Suit Gundam 0083: Stardust Memory
- Lt. Jg. Bernard Monsha.
- Jamaicain Daninghan, also in Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam.
- Dragon Ball
- Vegeta sported one for a short time in the anime-only GT. He shaved it off after his daughter told him she hated it, however.
- Mr. Satan
- Adroc Thurston, the Disappeared Dad of the Renton in Eureka Seven, had one.
- Admiral Mecklinger from Legend of Galactic Heroes.
- George Joestar I, the father of Jonathan Joestar (the 1st protagonist of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure).
- John 'Sleepy' Estes aka Mad Bull 34.
- The original Brawny paper towel◊ logo guy.
- The Man Your Man Could Smell Like in the Old Spice commercials. It peels off, but the bare skin underneath it can also peel off to reveal another mustache. It is not shown, but presumably that one can also peel off; its not clear how many layers he's got.
- This commercial for a Datsun 10th Anniversary 280XZ "Black Gold Edition" circa 1980.
- The guy from the 21st Century Insurance commercials
- Lampshaded in this Grolsch commercial. In the first take of a scene of a porn film in production, an actor and actress perform the ubiquitous porn scenario of a tradesman arriving at a house and finding a housewife at home alone; but the actor has no mustache, and he proceeds to repair the refrigerator. Filming is interrupted by a Grolsch spokesman (played by Ronald Top) who complains that "this blue movie is not ready yet", pointing out the actor's lack of a mustache and him actually fixing the fridge, and comparing rushed production of a porn film to rushed brewing of beer. The actor does have a mustache in the re-take.
- Mike Lindell, schlocky purveyor of MyPillow in infomercial-style television advertising (and plastered on the packaging), sports one.
- The Comedian from Watchmen.
- Deadshot from Suicide Squad and Secret Six.
- The Planet of Pornstaches—Viltrum from Invincible.
- The new Power Girl comic features the ultimate ham Vartox, an out of date hero from the 70s who rules his planet through a combination of super powers, unbelievable manliness, and a porn stache of truly epic proportions. Played entirely serious in the character's first appearances, back when he was introduced to cash in on the popularity of... Sean Connery in Zardoz.
- James Bond
- Ron Burgundy of Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. Along with several supporting characters. It is the '70s.
- Derek Smalls in This Is Spinal Tap.
- Bollywood veteran and Slumdog Millionaire star Anil Kapoor is (in)famous for his thick mustache. That and his pompadour hair style.
- Barricade's police-officer hologram. And with a blank stare to boot.
- Shared with all the Decepticon holograms.
- The Master from "Manos" The Hands of Fate.
- A New Hope has Luke's friend Biggs Darklighter.◊ Few humans in that 'verse aren't clean-shaven.
- Many of the male rebels remind us that the film was made in 1977 and Rogue One remembers this, with porn staches being part of the Alliance uniform.
- Almost all the male characters in Super Troopers.
- Colin Firth sports one in a flashback sequence in Circle of Friends.
- The Coach in Mysterious Skin. Creepily enough.
- Whenever Ben Stiller plays a villain in a movie, he has one.
- The Mechanic (1972) has Charles Bronson's, just another thing that makes it so evident that it's from The '70s.
- Smokey and the Bandit has Burt Reynolds'.
- In The Cut has Mark Ruffalo's ridiculous 'stache.
- Sean Connery in Zardoz.
- Sneakers. In a 1970s flashback Martin Brice has one while he's attending college, and NSA agent Dick Gordon has one in the present.
- Dum-Dum Dugan has an epically large porn stache in Captain America: The First Avenger. It's pretty badass.
- Faster. Detective Cicero finds her co-worker was a former member of LAPD's CRASH unit, and jokingly refers to them as gung-ho cops in porn staches.
- Both Pierce Brosnan and Greg Kinnear in The Matador.
- Charlie in the Twilight movie. Makes the reasons his wife left him even more baffling.
- Mark Hamill in The Guyver.
- Big Brother in the 1984 film adaptation of Nineteen Eighty-Four.
- Dr. Bolivar Trask in X-Men: Days of Future Past. Well, the film is set in the 1970s, after all.
- Rock Hudson sports one in 1971 Sex Comedy Pretty Maids All in a Row. Since he's a perv who is seducing and screwing the female students at the school where he teaches, the mustache is appropriate.
- Patrick Bergin in Sleeping with the Enemy.
- The Star Wars Holiday Special featured a rather impressive one◊ worn by "Lord Helmet" (as dubbed by RiffTrax.)
- Battlestar Galactica (2003):
- Commander Bill Adama had one during the first couple of episodes of season three.
- Edward James Olmos shaved off his trademark moustache when he took the role of "Bill Adama". He regrew it for the "New Caprica" arc, to symbolize the character's complacency during this period where humanity wasn't being killed off by Cylons, but ultimately shaved it off once humanity was successfully evacuated from the planet when the Cylons took over.
- BJ Hunnicutt grew one for the last few seasons of Mash to stick it to the Army. In the '70s it probably worked, but today it's a little hard to take the devoted family man and compassionate doctor seriously when he looks like a '70s porn star.
- Nick Stokes, briefly, on the original CSI. He mercifully got rid of it.
- Wash from Firefly has one in a flashback. Zoe comments that there's "something" she doesn't like about him. Since they eventually get married and he's cleanshaven in the rest of the series, presumably the lady just doesn't like porn staches. Of course, then there's the blooper version of that scene where both Zoe and Mal are also wearing porn staches....
- DS Ray Carling in Life On Mars and especially◊ Ashes to Ashes.
- Tom Selleck, of Magnum, P.I. fame.
- Tom Selleck also sports one when he plays Monica's boyfriend Richard on Friends... it's pretty conspicuous. He later appears without it and just looks........wrong.
- Matthew grows one in an episode of Newsradio, much to the other characters' horror, and Jimmy James is revealed—to his eternal embarrassment—to have grown one once. See the quote page.
- Detective Ronnie Gardocki, during the first two seasons of The Shield, had a porn 'stache before trading up for a full beard for the rest of the series (minus the second half of season six, where he was clean shaven). Actor David Rees Snell has over the years acknowledged the pros and cons of his choice of facial hair, noting that in spite of the various jokes people made about his 'stache, that it helped him stand out on a show filled with clean-shaven men and develop a fan following amongst viewers of the show.
- The Janitor from Scrubs had one when he was a hurdle runner, before sleeping with the President's daughter (or so he claimed).
- Inevitably, one of the male leads in Swingtown.
- Kelso from That '70s Show grew one of these when he became a cop because he thought it would make him look like an authority figure. Hyde said it made him look like a porn star. Kelso was happy either way. His friends later shaved it into a Hitler mustache while he was sleeping.
- Deputy Sacks from Veronica Mars. Notably, the mustache is fake and without it, he is quite attractive.
- The X-Files:
- The Unnamed corporate hitman in the two-parter "Tempus Fugit" & "Max" has one. Unfortunately his demise at the hands of alien abductors prevented fans from adding "Porn Stache Man" to X Files' list of nameless bad guys.
- Various police officers who were somehow part of several of the Agents' investigations. For instance in "Wetwired" or in "Chinga".
- Robbie Ray Stewart of Hannah Montana dons one of these to transform into his country-singer-turned-manager persona of Robbie Ray.
- Spencer Shay of iCarly generally includes one of these in any diguise. For example, infiltrating his sisters school as a janitor to catch her making out with Bad Boy Griffin.
- Mike from All in the Family had one. Once or twice in the series he would shave it off, only for the characters to point out that he looked better with the creepy mustache than without it.
- In the Seinfeld episode "The Butter Shave", Jerry and George grew mustaches. George says he feels like "an out-of-work porn star".
- In the White Collar episode "Need to Know," it's revealed that during Neal's imprisonment, Peter had a mustache for about a month. After seeing a photograph, Neal comments that he was expecting something more Magnum, P.I. and less Mario.
- In Supernatural Gabriel dons a fake porntache on a porn DVD Video Will he gives to the Winchesters.
- When Sam travels back to The '70s in "The Song Remains The Same", he's amused by all the big moustaches.
- Brendan Brady in Hollyoaks.
- Jason King.
- In Drake & Josh, Josh attempts to grow one of these (being a kids show, they didn't actually say that it was a "porn stache" but it was implied), but everyone hates it, including his girlfriend, who even refuses to kiss him with the mustache.
- Both Chet Kelly and Marco Lopez sported impressive models in the TV show Emergency!.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs of NCIS fame. He has one (briefly) after recovering from amnesia that wigged Tony out.
Gibbs: I need you to look at something before you leave.
Fornell: You've got that mustache in a box, don't you?
- The Top Gear presenters all sport these during The Interceptors segment, a parody of 1970s detective series in general.
- A picture in Torchwood: Miracle Day showed the immortal Jack Harkness as having one in the 1970s.
- Hutch has a mustache for the entire fourth and final season of Starsky & Hutch.
- Anson, the current Big Bad of Burn Notice, had one throughout Season 5, but recently shaved it off to go on the run.
- Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Q has one when manifesting himself as a 1900's era boxer, to take on Sisko with Good Old Fisticuffs. And in Star Trek: Voyager the holographic Doctor writes a holonovel with thinly-veiled expies of Voyager's crew. Lieutenant Tom Paris becomes "Lt. Marseilles" with a moustache that makes even Tom's tsundere girlfriend B'Elanna Torres giggle at the sight of it.
- George Mendez from Orange Is the New Black, so much so that all the inmates simply refer to him as "Pornstache."
- This clip from Mystery Science Theater 3000 features Mike and the bots trying to impress Pearl with varying sizes of Pornstaches. Only Crow seems to have any success in impressing her.
- Alex Trebek's legendary 'stache was neatly trimmed and not porn-y at all on Jeopardy!, but check him out in literally anything he did before that, from Music Hop to Battlestars to see a less fastidious facet of his facial fuzz. Sadly, the man shaved his 'stache in 2001, and the world has mourned ever since. It made a brief return in 2014, but was shaved off again.
- Jack Pearson on This Is Us has a thick mustache since he was raising his kids in the 1980s. When he and his family meet the doctor that delivered his kids at the hospital, the doctor cracks that he should shave the mustache.
- Blake's 7. In "Time Squad", Jenna is attacked by a homicidal maniac that's unfortunately Nightmare Retardant thanks to this trope.
- Freddie Mercury of Queen.
- Rivers Cuomo, the lead vocalist of Weezer, during the Red Album days.
- Har Mar Superstar has a very thin one, but it's clearly a porn 'stache.
- Frank Zappa.
- Tony Iommi of Black Sabbath.
- Brad Delp, former lead singer of the band Boston.
- Gunther. "Ooooh, you touch my tralala.../Ooooh, my dingdingdong..."
- Referenced in "Mustache" by the country music band Heartland, in which the narrator expresses his astonishment at the guy his girlfriend has dumped him for:
He's got a mustache
Has she lost her mind?
He's got a mustache
Straight out of 1979
It looks like a porn star...
- With that in mind, several exist among Country Music singers: Kix Brooks (of Brooks & Dunn), Alan Jackson, Aaron Tippin, John Dittrich◊ (of Restless Heart), and Joe Diffie◊ (replete with mullet).
- John Oates of Hall & Oates. A legendary example.
- Paul Simon, during the (later) Simon & Garfunkel days. It temporarily came back at the time of his 1975 solo album Still Crazy After All These Years.
- The late choreographer Michael Peters◊, famous for playing a gang leader in Michael Jackson's "Beat It" (on which a Brazilian comedian likened him to soccer player Toninho Cerezo◊).
- Neil Peart had one from 1975 to 1979/80.
- Akiva and Jorm of The Lonely Island don very fake-looking Porn Staches to play the Bing Bong Brothers.
- Till Lindemann sports one in the Rammstein video Haifisch as he mails a postcard to the rest of the band, letting them know he's alive.
- Carlos Santana
- Giorgio Moroder
- Yanni, before he shaved it off.
- Scatman John.
- Anthony Kiedis adopted one in 2011.
- The cowboy, leatherman and construction worker in The Village People all sport these.
- Peter Hollens sports an impressive 'stache in his video for "Don't Stop Me Now", aptly as a tribute to Freddie Mercury. At the end of the video he makes a point of saying he's going to shave it off.
- Wrestler Scott Hall had one during his AWA days, when he was "Magnum" Scott Hall. He later shaved it before going to the WWF and becoming Razor Ramon. And the man he was emulating, "Magnum" TA—who looked a little like Tom Selleck from Magnum P.I.
- Announcer Tony Schiavone, early in his career.
- "Ravishing" Rick Rude, in what had to be a deliberate instance.
- NWA World Heavyweight Champion Dan "The Beast" Severn is almost as well known for his shiny porno mustache as he is for anything related to athletics.
- It became a good chunk of independent wrestler Joey Ryan's gimmick for a time, although he tended to also wear a little stubble which diluted the effect. Part of his gimmick was a sleazy 70s Casanova Wannabe, and his finishing move was called a Mustache Ride (which was also the beginning of his entrance music.)
- The most immediately identifiable trait of "The Last Real Man" Silas Young. It's completely shaved or mustache only, if you also want to be a real man.
- Peacock Party Boy Dalton Castle has been seen with such a mustache, perhaps to be expected.
- Most recently, Cody Rhodes has been the butt of all the jokes with his mustache.
SolidOld Snake acquires one in Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots.
- Captain Price from the Call of Duty series (both of them).
- Super Mario Bros.:
- Mario and Luigi, to the point where "Stache" is a stat you can increase in Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga, which boosts your critical hit rate and makes shopkeepers offer you discounts.
- Toadworth's younger self from Partners in Time has one of these.
- Broque Monsieur from Bowser's Inside Story also has one, which becomes a pair of Big Ol' Eyebrows when he flips his head to battle you.
- Mike Haggar has a brilliant bristly one.
- Odessa Cubbage, of Half-Life 2 fame. It's a bit thin, however.
- Garet gains one of these in Golden Sun: Dark Dawn.
- The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
- The Great Deku Tree has one. Unusual, in that it's... well... a tree.
- The Mario Bros. knockoffs Ingo and Talon have such 'staches as well.
- Valant Gramarye in Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney grows one when he gets older. It's supposed to make him look more mature than his younger self, but since he spends his time hanging around his old friend's fifteen-year-old daughter, it has some, ah, unfortunate implications.
- Griffin from Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life.
Saxton HaleSAXTON HAAAAALE from Team Fortress 2.
- "Rad" Spencer was a clean cut red-haired Duke clone in Bionic Commando Rearmed, but as of Rearmed 2 has grown a rather impressive (if out of place) bright red manstache.
- "Super" Joe Gibson, Spencer's ally and the object of the rescue mission in the NES Bionic Commando and its remake, also ends up sporting one of these.
- Chester, Hobo Lord of Sleaze (complete with van and bag of candy) has one of these in Kingdom of Loathing. You can even acquire it for yourself.
- Yuri from Command & Conquer: Red Alert 2, together with a goatie and Bald of Evil. Considering he's played by Udo Kier, his level of evilness is quite obvious◊.
- John Mullins from Soldier of Fortune.
- Indie Pete in Diesel Sweeties gets a job as a sex ed teacher because he has one of these, and loses it after he shaves—apparently the moustache makes him look like "a man who knows his way around a set of organs".
- Shortpacked! features a debate on the thin line between a pornstache and a just plain creepy stache.
- The Adventures of Dr. McNinja:
- Dan McNinja even has a special ninja mask which covers everything but his eyes and the 'stache. It is even revealed to be an almost mystical source of authority.
- The Doc's kid side-kick, 13 year-old Gordito, a gunslinging Mexican native, had an impressive 'stache he grew through sheer will power (in a matter of seconds) after his father died.
- This strip of Unshelved.
- Warlord Damaske from Dominic Deegan, who is referred to as "Warlord Mustache" by snarkers.
- Calamities of Nature makes a reference to the porn stache.
- Sarin of The Dragon Doctors had one for a time immediately prior to being hit with a Gender Bender; In-Universe, it is widely agreed that she looks better without it.
- Frostbite in the "Rock Paper Scissors" arc of Accidentals.
- Shitty in Check, Please! has a luxuriant one, and is very insistent that it is not a "pedo stache."
- Italian Spiderman. At one point, he throws it like a boomerang.
- This ad◊ for Mario Kart DS shows three Japanese pop-rock-types sporting these and winking/grinning at the camera. You can play with people across the world via Wi-Fi, and this is represented by the various stereotyped versions of the guy with the Mario-like mustache and hat. The picture has become rather popular as an avatar icon.
- Gaia Online's Timmy experienced "Megapuberty" and had the choice of either growing to adulthood immediately or remaining a child forever, and out of indecision decided to poll the fandom. Most of the fans who voted started talking about what a Bishounen Timmy would grow up to be. Instead, Timmy grew up Hollywood Homely (think Nicolas Cage's character in Raising Arizona), and has since then been accosted by police officers purely because they could not believe someone with a mustache like that was an honest citizen.
- Binder of Shame's appropriately-named Deviant Boy is described as having an "abnormally thick moustache".
- Parodied in Episode 4 of Manwhores when Kevin gets a fake one in order to imitate Randy. Five minutes later, he's in an 8-way. Yes, an 8-way.
- Frollo gains one of these after being age regressed by his Arab cousin in The Frollo Show.
- Screen Junkies: Hal Rudnick grew one for movember,a men's health awareness program. In fact, the Porn Stache is the goal of every participant in Movember. Few succeed.
- Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
- Family Guy explores literally every stereotype associated with the Porn Stashe.
He's got the kind of facial hair that says "Yeah, I've been naked on camera before, what of it?"
- Tony Stark in the '90s animated version of Iron Man. The mullet doesn't help.
- The Venture Bros.
- Brock Samson has one of these whenever he appears in college flashbacks.
- Him and Rusty both have them for a brief spell. "What were we thinking?"
- William Murderface of Metalocalypse. Mainly because he's based off of Geezer Butler, who, as stated above, had one.
- The Simpsons: stupid sexy Flanders!
- My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic:
- Spell #25 sprouts a luxurious porn 'stache on the lip of either sex.
- Rarity's father has one naturally. This caused fans to call him "Magnum".
- Cars: Chick Hicks' grille gives the appearance of one.
- Uh, this Sesame Street shirt.
- Due to the cross-media nature of the character, it's hard to place him in one category, but several Commissioner James Gordons have boasted mustaches that are very 70s'. While some depictions of the good Commissioner have him appear quite distinguished in a vaguely old-money Southern fashion, several have been given rather porny 'staches over the years. Gary Oldman in the Nolan-era reboot movies is one such salient example.
- Actors and media figures:
- Porn actors: Go figure.
- Porn star Ron Jeremy, perhaps the most iconic example and probably responsible for the association with porn.
- John Holmes, the inspiration for Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights.
- And the original pornstache, Harry Reems. Some even noted the oddness of him not having it in Forced Entry.
- Freddie Mercury, in the 80's.
- Ric Romero, consumer reporter for Los Angeles-based KABC-TV and Internet meme extraordinaire.
- John Stossel, former ABC newsman and host of 20/20—although some might term it an "English gentleman" mustache instead.
- Ron Howard sported one in the early 1980s. It's shown in all its glory in a 1982 episode of Saturday Night Live he hosted.
- Critic Gene Siskel of Siskel & Ebert in the 70s. Here's a clip of them reviewing ''AllThePresidentsMen''.
- Geraldo Rivera.
- Film critic/conservative commentator/self-styled "cultural crusader" who's supposedly led a "controversial life", Michael Medved.
- Burt Reynolds.
- Tom Selleck
- Seventies Porn Colin, a 1970s publicity shot of Colin Baker shirtless and sporting one of these, has attained memetic status in Doctor Who fandom.
- Groucho Marx is arguably the Trope Maker for male actors—even if his 'stache was just painted on.
- Porn actors: Go figure.
- Athletes and sports figures:
- NASCAR has plenty of famous drivers with porn 'staches. Richard Petty, Dale Earnhardt, Tim Richmond, Neil Bonnett, Terry Labonte, Dale Jarrett, Mike Skinner...
- But it faded out in a hurry in the 90s, starting with Jeff Gordon's ridiculous attempt at one, and his subsequent shaving of it to create the current clean-cut image favored by most modern NASCAR drivers. Facial hair today is more likely to take the form of full beards, like Jimmie Johnson's eternal five-o-clock shadow (which has been hinted to be there mainly to tick off crew chief Chad Knaus, who reportedly can't stand how it looks).
- In Formula One the most notorious pornstache is Nigel Mansell's.
- Mark Spitz, who won seven gold medals in a single Olympic Games.
- Hilariously, after his medal haul Spitz was approached by a coach from the Soviet team, asking him why he had a mustache. Spitz jokingly replied that it deflected water away from his mouth and effectively made him swim faster; at the next international swim meet he attended the following year, all the male Russian swimmers were sporting mos.
- Baseball player Jeff Kent's famous facial hair has led to baseball announcers to jokingly refer to impressive or important home runs by Jeff Kent as "money shots".
- NBA commissioner David Stern had one early in his tenure, clearly evident in archive photos from the '84 draft.
- Famous mustachioed Yankee player of the 80s and early 90s Don Mattingly and Jason Giambi. Giambi in particular, credited Mattingly as the inspiration for him growing his in 2008. Giambi (known famously for his full beard/long haired look while he was a member of the Oakland Athletics) infamously shaved off his facial hair when he signed with the Yankees in 2002, so his decision to grow a moustache revived his career with the organization and with fans after several years of subpar playing and revelations that he was on steroids for the bulk of his tenure at Oakland. The Yankees later held a "Jason Giambi Mustache Day" in which they gave out fake mustaches as a promotion to get Giambi the final spot on the AL All-Star Team roster. He didn't win the vote, though.
- George Parros, enforcer of the Anaheim Ducks. He's even earned the nickname "Stache" because of it.
- Hall of Fame third baseman Mike Schmidt has sported one since his playing days.
- Two-time Vezina/Conn Smythe/Stanley Cup winning Hall of Fame NHL goaltender Bernie Parent of the Philadelphia Flyers had one of the most awe-inspiring examples of the trope◊ in the history of North American professional sports during the 1970s. It's since morphed into a Trustworthy Beard as its owner◊ has aged into Badass Grandpa territory.
- Broad Street Bullies-era backup goalie Bobby Taylor◊ was a fairly decent backup for Parent in this area as well. Hockey seemed to raise a bumper crop in those days, with even Taylor cheerfully quipping in the HBO documentary on the team, The Broad Street Bullies, that "we looked like a bunch of porn stars."
- In fact, the Flyers in particular are no slouches in the pornstached Goalie department, with another Vezina and Conn Smythe coming from netminder Ron Hextall◊ in the 80s.
- Sportscaster and entertainment reporter Pat O'Brien.
- Atlanta Falcons defensive coordinator Brian Van Gorder◊.
- Keith Olbermann alternated between this and clean-shaven from his days as a sports anchor in Los Angeles until midway through his SportsCenter tenure, after which he apparently hacked it off for good. Apparently he figured out that the look may work for some people, but it unambiguously does not work for him.
- Similarly, ESPN's Chris Berman sported one early in his tenure on ESPN and recently decided to give it another try.
- MLB Pitcher Carl Pavano—especially when it's not fully grown in.
- Possibly-former Boston Bruins goalie Tim Thomas.
- NBA player Adam Morrison is commonly mocked for this (along with his non-presence with the Lakers).
- Many an Australian cricketer have sported these through the years, including David Boon◊ and Dennis Lillee. More recently, fast bowler Mitchell Johnson◊ had one during the 2013 Ashes test series.
- WVU punter, Nick O'Toole, whose Porn Stache◊ makes him look 20 years older◊
- NASCAR has plenty of famous drivers with porn 'staches. Richard Petty, Dale Earnhardt, Tim Richmond, Neil Bonnett, Terry Labonte, Dale Jarrett, Mike Skinner...
- Historial and political figures:
- John R. Bolton.
- Not uncommon among European royalty of the 19th and early 20th centuries, with King Umberto I of Italy◊ having one of the most epic Porn Staches of all time.
- Some of his (numerous) detractors argue that the moustache Peter Mandelson used to have looked like one of these. Judge for yourself◊.
- And of course, Josef Stalin. He even was nicknamed "Baffone" ("Big Moustache") in Italy.
- And some of his comrades too, like Vyacheslav Molotov, Lazar Kaganovich and Andrei Zhdanov.
- Saddam Hussein.
- Nikola Tesla. Ironically, he was celibate.
- Günther, the stage persona of Swedish singer Mats Söderlund. His entire act is indeed modeled on bad German porn stars.
- Don Frye◊, MMA fighter and the badass Captain Gordon in Godzilla Final Wars.
- Friedrich Nietzsche had an uber-pornstache. Although he was celibate like Tesla.
- British Army lore has it that these are standard issue for the SAS, so the page quote may well be justified. However, considering the skills of a standard SAS soldier, it is a bad idea to mock them for this.
- Meet The Talking Car, an old children's safety PSA, gives one of these to one of the cars. The car in question seems peculiarly affable towards children, claims to have known quite a few boys in girls "in my day", and adds that they are good.
- The University of Western Ontario's Science Faculty has a mascot, by the name of Sanchez. Sanchez, cheerfully referred to as "Our King" by the faculty, is a blow-up doll possessing-of course-only the most epic of porn 'staches.
- Serial killer William Bonin◊
- Chris Hadfield, Canadian astronaut and recent commander of ISS for Expedition 35. And yeah I totally picked a doofy picture on purpose.◊ Also kind of Adorkable, sometimes.
- Michael Collins of Apollo 11 fame. Interestingly, he started his famous mission totally clean shaven and shaved his several-day-old beard into a mustache on the way back to Earth.
- In the 1980's this sort of moustache became associated with British Special Forces, as a sort of informal badge of membership. Although SAS troopers preferred it if it were described as a Zapato, after the Mexican revolutionary. See Page Quote.