Vitals: Male, 30, American, single, pagan
Occupation:
unpublished author, Official Candy Container for
PLATTER
Pinata forgets to check his discussion page. Don't take it personally, he
Forgets To Eat too. Pinata may cause Windows Vista to crash. Pinata is not Y2K compliant. Pinata should be
kept away from water and sunlight.
For fuck's sake, do
not feed Pinata after midnight. Pinata
has had it with all these motherfucking
eels on this motherfucking hovercraft. Pinata is
ashamed of what he did for a Klondike bar. Pinata
has never had
inappropriate relations with
Tropey The Wonder Dog.
Pale Skinned Brunettes should be
kept away from Pinata at all costs.
Do not taunt Pinata.
And if that didn't scare you off, Pinata is registered with the
Troper Dating Service.
Pages created:
Pages edited:
Tropes that apply to this user:
- All Men Are Perverts
- Author Appeal (For some reason, everything I write winds up having lesbians in it)
- Awesomeness By Analysis (See below)
- Badass Bookworm (I know four different ways to kill a man with my bare hands. I learned them all from books.)
- Brilliant But Lazy: Probably why my novel is Development Hell. If I stopped procrastinating on it, it'd be published in no time.
- Cloud Cuckoolander
- The Combat Pragmatist (To a certain extent... I have honor-related qualms about most forms of ranged combat, but biting, eye gouging and groin kicks are standard practice for me.)
- A Darker Me (This guy
. He's my main RPG character, and the perfect example of a Well Intentioned Extremist... the thing is, he's largely based on me.
- Dis Continuity
- Silver — and only silver — can kill a werewolf. Therefore, Remus Lupin is still alive... Avada Kedavra only knocked him unconscious.
- Fan Fic (Yes, I write them. Both the erotic and non-erotic varieties.)
- Fetish (Several, actually...)
- Breastmilk: Not sure why, other than that it looks really awesome (and, obviously, sexy) squirting out.
- British Accents: Again, not sure why. Women just sound really hot when they talk like Sophie Devereaux.
- Glasses: You heard me. What's wrong with that?
- Spandex: Looking at it more than wearing it, which is good because nobody wants to see me in spandex.
- Glass Cannon (If you hit me first, I'm likely down for the count. If I block or dodge your first attack, say your prayers.)
- Hot Blooded (And then some.)
- Kissing Cousins (I made out with my cousin once. We didn't go any farther than that. To be fair, she was doing her best to be Ms Fanservice that day.)
- Loners Are Freaks
- Mr Imagination
- Neat Freak (Actually, only about my hands. Everything else can be as dirty as it wants, as long as I don't have to touch it.
- Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant (If you don't get Squicked reading my work, you're unsquickable.)
- Not Good With People (Because, you know, Humans Are Bastards.)
- Parabombing (On Fora, I'm known as "The Dark Lord of the Parentheses" (it's a Star Wars Shout Out)).
- Perverse Sexual Lust:
- Princess Leia. The first half-hour or so of Return of the Jedi caused me to grow up a lot more quickly than I otherwise would have.
- Miranda Frost. Not quite sure why she's my favorite Bond Girl... maybe it's the way she handles a sword. Maybe it's because Evil Is Sexy. Or maybe it's the accent.
- Miss Emma Peel. Nobody ever wore a Spy Catsuit better. Also, that British accent again... gets me every time.
- Daphne Moon. Sexiest voice EVER, and also the closest thing Frasier had to a Ms Fan Service.
- Penny Parker. Before she was a Desperate Housewife, Teri Hatcher was MacGyver's Ms Fan Service. If only she had been on there more often...
- Kim Bauer. Yes, I know she's almost universally reviled by fans... but I kinda miss her.
- Phoebe and Paige Halliwell. Okay, all four sisters, but specifically those two, preferably in a Les Yay situation.
- Mai Shiranui. Probably because she was the first animated character whose ass I ever caught a glimpse of, though Gainaxing probably has a lot to do with it too.
- Abby Maitland. Again, the British accent has something to do with it. Also, she parades around in her underwear once an episode (though from what I hear from UK viewers who are a season ahead of me, this sadly stops later on).
- Psylocke. The reasons should be pretty much obvious, though the specific style of outfit worn has a lot to do with it.
- Jenny Calendar. Never has the Van Halen song "Hot For Teacher" been more appropriate.
- Teela. Don't tell me I'm the only one who did unspeakable things to her action figure.
- Rose. Since there's no link, from Two And A Half Men. Yes, I know she's a stalker, but if she handcuffed herself naked to my fridge I'd take advantage of the convenient location and spend the rest of the day licking various foods off of her body.
- Claire Bennett. Maybe it's the cheerleader outfit. Maybe the Wangst causes me to have protective feelings toward her. Or maybe it's Power Perversion Potential... she can take a lot of punishment.
- Nina Williams. A character in a fighting video game who wears a purple (it's my favorite color) Spy Catsuit? Awesome.
- Samantha Taggart. Hello, nurse!
- Lexie Grey. Just Lexie Grey.
- Ella of Frell. Anne Hathaway has to obey any command she's given? I'm surprised there's not more X-rated Fan Fic.
- Sookie Stackhouse. Ms Fan Service is the main character? And she's played by Anna Frackin' Paquin? This is awesome.
- Ridiculously Cute Critter (My cat usually provokes an "aww" from people meeting her for the first time.
- Rolling Updates (Every single YKTTW I make. So don't say I didn't warn you, if I forget to add the tag.)
- Sliding Scale Of Idealism Versus Cynicism (I'm on the cynical side as far as what I want to see happen to villains. Terry Goodkind put it best with "Pity for the guilty is treason to the innocent".
- Strip Poker (I absolutely love it.)
- Your Mileage May Vary
- Yuri Fanboy
