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-> ''"A good story is like a good bowel movement: it's only really satisfying once it's ended. Because if you just keep going, then eventually your body runs out of shit and moves on to pushing all of your internal organs out of your sphincter, until only a foul-smelling shell remains, and anyone who wants to get in on your incredibly long poo gets turned off, because they need to have gone through all of the poo up to that point to have the necessary context and this is where the analogy is breaking down somewhat."''
-->-- '''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''s [[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/2757-DC-Universe-Online review]] of ''VideoGame/DCUniverseOnline''

Sometimes, a metaphor is a train, taking you from concept A to concept B, maybe at high speed, [[SidetrackedByTheAnalogy maybe derailing]], [[SelfDemonstratingArticle and definitely serving overpriced sandwiches]].

There's nothing wrong with using a metaphor to explain the situation, but make sure it doesn't derail on you later. Trying to hold to an established metaphor while including added information that doesn't fit it at all... well, that's sillier than wearing a trash can on your head while artistically comparing two unlike concepts.

In other words, a good comedy trope.

The trope generally follows one of two paths. The metaphor begins with a solid concept but quickly degenerates into a repetition of the actual situation only projected onto the metaphorical concepts. "You can't make an omelette without [something much more unpleasant than breaking a few eggs]" seems to be particularly popular, perhaps because it lends itself well to BlackComedy. It is also possible for the metaphorical concept to [[AttentionDeficitOohShiny distract the speaker]] so that the metaphor is forgotten.

Sometimes the character will realise they've spoilt the metaphor and admit they've lost their train of thought, or perhaps they'll try to reconnect the mess they've made back to the original metaphor, which just prolongs the joke further.

Handily TruthInTelevision. Has a lot of overlap with {{Dissimile}}. Compare DerailedTrainOfThought, AnalogyBackfire, SidetrackedByTheAnalogy, ShaggyFrogStory, DisorganizedOutlineSpeech, ILikeMyXLikeILikeMyY and MixedMetaphor. Because this often uses realistic diction, it can also subvert RealisticDictionIsUnrealistic. BuffySpeak uses this a lot.


* A PSA for promoting foster parenting:
-->'''Foster father:''' (''consoling post-breakup foster daughter'') Honey, dating is like... the stock market. There's highs, and lows... and highs... Um... And... (''mumbles'') alwaysremembertobuylow...\\
'''Announcer:''' You don't have to be perfect to be the perfect parent. There are thousands of kids in foster care who would love to put up with you.
* A mobile phone service promoted their smartphones with this line:
-->''"It's like having your cake and sending email with it."''
* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeH-BAm17pk Norton Internet Security will protect your unicorn from Dolph Lundgren.]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uoy8q3Xld9w And your chicken from]] Music/{{Dokken}}.

[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
* ''Manga/AzumangaDaioh'':
** In one of the "Supplementary Materials" strips written for the manga's tenth anniversary, Chiyo-Chichi gives Sakaki the following advice: "Keep moving forward. Then turn left at the second corner."
** In another strip, [[EveryoneCallsHimBarkeep Osaka]] compares her heart to a sea. [[http://www.mangareader.net/azumanga-daioh/2/216 It's big, deep, and has octopuses and stuff in it.]]
* ''Manga/{{Gintama}}'', being a GagSeries, takes this trope and ''runs'' with it.
* In ''Anime/Persona4TheAnimation'' Yu uses a giant, $35 beef bowl to begin an analogy to relate the need to never give up on their pursuit of a fairly vague goal. Other members of the group pitch in and add to the increasingly narmy metaphor. When it's Yu's turn again, he says, "And my bowl isn't empty yet."
* In ''Manga/{{Yellow}}'', Taki and Goh get into an argument about whether Taki or the women who go after him are "like moths to a flame." Amusingly this leads to an attempted kiss on Goh's part and this exchange:
-->'''Taki:''' What are you doing?!\\
'''Goh:''' My kiss is like moth balls.
* In ''Manga/GreatTeacherOnizuka'', the eponymous Onizuka once described love as "That magical spark between two people that you hope won't start a fire and burn them both to death."
* ''Manga/ShirokumaCafe'':
** While talking with Handa, their zookeeper, the pandas comment on how he'd be more enthusiastic at work if he had a girlfriend, to which he responds by saying that, to him, "all the animals at the zoo are like his significant other", producing this exchange:
--->'''Full-Time Panda:''' Now you sound a like a pure and innocent idol and I don't like it.\\
'''Panda:''' Yeah. I don't want to hear idol-like phrases like "I don't go to the bathroom." True idols are like us and their poop smells like lemons.\\
'''Full-Time Panda:''' (''sweatdrops'') [[LampshadeHanging Your conversation is drifting]], Panda.
** Happens again to Panda when he tries, and fails, to console Mama King Penguin about the fact that King penguins are always mistaken for Emperor penguins:
--->'''Panda:''' Oh, it's not a big deal.\\
'''King Penguin:''' Huh?\\
'''Panda:''' They say that life is full of mountain and valleys. Mountains have bamboo. When you're hungry there's bamboo and bamboo grass.\\
'''King Penguin:''' [[HairTriggerTemper You piss me off!]] You totally piss me off! (''cue her pecking panda'')

[[folder:Comic Books]]
* ''Comicbook/{{Bookhunter}}'': Agent Bay preps the police for a dragnet, and ends his speech with:
-->'''Agent Bay:''' It might seem to you that we're grasping at straws. But straws are all we've got left. There is one straw that is going to break this case wide open. Which is why I need each and every one of you to follow your own straw to the bitterest end.
* ''What The?!'' parodying the narration in ComicBook/ManThing, describing the swamp:
-->''"This is where things cease to have names, where they cease to have form, where all that is left is '''fear''' and a smell something like what you get when you change a cat's litterbox in a poorly ventilated room. Or like those socks of yours -- come on, I know you've got 'em -- that stand up by themselves, and you put them on on a really hot day in those shoes that aren't made of leather but out of plastic, and you walk around all day, and then take them off... yeah. Like that. That -- and '''fear'''."''
* In one ''ComicBook/TomorrowStories'' Splash Brannigan adventure, the black-as-coal living inkblot Splash fights a white doppelganger. A bystander describes their battle as "Like a black thing and a white thing that are, uh... having a fight."

[[folder:Comic Strips]]
* A 1984 installment of Matt Groening's ''ComicStrip/LifeInHell'' included a few supposed quotations about love by great philosophers from history. They all follow this trope and become increasingly bizarre and ridiculous, finally finishing with this one: "Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. [[ExitPursuedByABear At night, the ice weasels come.]]" -- Nietzsche
* In ''ComicStrip/{{Frazz}}'', Caulfield once asked if life is a journey, and a sled ride is a journey, does that mean that the sled ride is a simile?

[[folder:Fan Works]]
* From ''Fanfic/CalvinAndHobbesTheSeries'': "OW! [[ItMakesSenseInContext Love just pecked my nose!]]"
** And from "Wild Movie":
--> '''Calvin:''' Kinda rolls of the tongue!\\
'''Hobbes:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Just like drool.]]
* The narrator of ''Fanfic/EquestriaAHistoryRevealed'' often forgets the point of her metaphors, or worse, gets lost in her train of thoughts, and continues on with the metaphor as though it was the point itself.
* In ''Fanfic/HarryPotterAndTheMethodsOfRationality'', Hermione has a moment of embarrassment.
-->''All the blood was rushing back into her face, there probably should've been steam coming out of her ears, which in turn should've been melting off her head with the liquid flesh running down into her neck, as she realized what she'd just blurted out.''
* Lampshaded in the ''My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic'' TrollFic ''Fanfic/TheSpiderses'':
-->''it was like a crunchy potato chip bag full of chips got throwed into an chainlink fence and i dont know wer this metaphor goesing. amynore.''
* In ''Fanfic/FromTheFlameToTheSpark'' Sirius refers to fate as both male and female, prompting the following exchange.
-->'''Ginny:''' Her? I thought we were kicking fate in the balls.\\
'''Sirius:''' Oh no, that's Destiny. He's the bastard who shags Fate and knocks her up with prophecies, remember?\\
'''Ginny:''' I think your metaphor took the Knight Bus to Stonehenge.
* When Twilight notes in ''[[Fanfic/PoniesOfOlympus Head of a Dog; Tail of a Lion]]'' that her status as a Princess demands that she negotiate with the Diamond Dogs for the release of Spike and their other captives rather than simply attacking them, Fluttershy chimes in with the "you attract more flies with honey than with vinegar" adage before timidly admitting that it's actually the other way around. Applejack adds that Sweet Apple Acres cider is ''really'' best for the job before Twilight exasperatedly lampshades the whole thing.
* ''WebVideo/SwordArtOnlineAbridged'' has this example from episode 3's narrator:
-->'''Sir Jack Dapper''': And in time, Kirito found that he could almost tolerate [the Moonlit Black Cats], much like a fat man tolerates the tapeworms in his intestines. And like those tapeworms, that guild burrowed deep into his innards, and gorged themselves on his leftovers, until they began causing abdominal pain and diarrhea. I realize the metaphor's breaking down a bit here, but granny Dapper didn't raise no quitters.
* ''Fanfic/TheNewAdventuresOfInvaderZim'' has this bit of narration from Episode 2, when [[OurVampiresAreDifferent Norlock]] first realizes just how oblivious most humans are to beings like him:
-->[He felt] like a wolf among the sheep. Admittedly, a very large wolf among a bunch of sheep who all appeared to be blind and deaf, and probably collectively lacking a sense of smell too… [[LampshadeHanging where was he going with this again?]]
* ''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged'' has Broly described by his father as "a trump card, if the card literally turned over the table and shot the other player."
* A ''Franchise/SilentHill'' fanfic which is sadly(?) lost for good:
-->"OMFG" cried James, flopping in the monster's strong arms like a fish. A fish that was about to be raped.
* [[http://archiveofourown.org/works/676426 John and Dave Write a Bad Smut Scene]]: "He was going to fuck him good and hard, and he was going to like it better than the piece of greasy pizza he'd eaten for lunch that afternoon. Piece of ass before piece of pizza, except when it's already occurred."

[[folder:Films -- Animation]]
* From ''WesternAnimation/AnExtremelyGoofyMovie''
-->'''Goofy:''' Just keep on track, and the world will be your clam.\\
'''Max:''' Oyster, Dad.\\
'''Goofy:''' Oh, no thanks. I'm saving room for weenies.
* Anna from ''Disney/{{Frozen}}'' falls victim to this in the CutSong "More Than Just The Spare," prompting her to later call herself, "[[SelfDeprecation a girl who's bad at metaphors.]]"
-->''So, I'm the extra button on a coat in case another one comes loose\\
But if I have to be a button, why can't I be a button that's of use?\\
I may lack style, and I may lack grace\\
And once in a while, I fall on my face\\
But this little button deserves a place in the sky\\
This button wants to fly''--\\
Wait, buttons can't fly! That doesn't make any sense.
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Megamind}}'' and his arch-nemesis [[TheCape Metro Man]] tend to get lost in cheesy mid-battle banter whenever they fight - so much so that the DamselInDistress has to remind them to actually do something besides exchanging increasingly bizarre witticisms. The metaphors become redundant through arguments:
-->'''Megamind''': Over here, old friend. In case you haven't noticed, you've fallen right into my trap.\\
'''Metroman''': You can't trap justice. It's an idea! A belief!\\
'''Megamind''': Well, even the most heartfelt belief can be corroded over time!\\
'''Metroman''': Justice is a non-corrosive metal.\\
'''Megamind''': But metals can be melted by the heat of revahnge!\\
'''Metroman''': It's "revenge", and it's best served cold!\\
'''Megamind''': But it could be easily reheated, in the microwave of evil!\\
'''Metroman''': Well, I think your warranty is about to expire!\\
'''Megamind''': Maybe I've got an extended warranty!\\
'''Metroman''': Warranties are invalid if you don't use the product for its intended purpose!\\
'''Roxanne''': ''[groans]'' Girls, girls! You're both pretty! Can I go home now?

[[folder:Films -- Live-Action]]
* ''Film/BallsOfFury'' has this:
-->Ping pong... is not the macarena. It takes patience. She is like a fine, well-aged prostitute... it takes years to learn her tricks. She is cruel, laughs at you when you are naked, but you keep coming back for more, and more! Why? Because she is the only prostitute I can afford!
* In ''Film/TwentyEightDays'', one of the recovering addicts in the rehab center tries to explain how everyone has to walk their own path.
-->There's a time when you can share and you hold hands and be on the same path. But there's always a fork in the road... at some point. And sometimes you have to go on one part of the fork and they gotta go on the other part of the fork. Or just down the back part of the fork while you go forward. And they're like: *sigh* Or they got a salad fork and you have one of the big dinner forks and you have longer to go but they're like done because that's it, they're stuck on a piece of food, that they *sigh*. A dessert fork or like one of those, you know, small little shrimp forks or crab forks and you're trying to get out a crab. They're like that and you're over here jumping to the huge serving fork or something like that, or a ladle, you know.
* The educational short ''Drugs Are Like That'' really doesn't know what the metaphor it's going for is. Drugs are compared to Legos, cookies, swimming, toys, and pacifiers. Then they say that the human body is like a ''perpetual motion machine that the characters make out of Legos'' (!!) and that moving one piece causes it to ''[[YouFailBiologyForever explode]]'' -- "Drugs are like that!" This is all narrated by [[CulturePolice Anita Bryant.]]
* ''Film/HotShots:''
-->'''Topper:''' My father used to say that not playing to win is like sleeping with your sister. Sure she's a great piece of tail, with a blouse full of goodies, but, it's just illegal. Then you get into that whole inbred thing. Kids with no teeth who do nothing but play the banjo ... eat apple sauce through a straw ... pork farm animals.
* ''Film/{{Magicians}}'' briefly has two spectators muse on the sight of two magicians, who formerly had a successful and well-respected double act going before one slept with the other's wife and the other accidentally decapitated said wife during a trick with a guillotine, reuniting for the first time in four years to perform together:
-->'''Spectator 1''': It's like Israel and Palestine.\\
'''Spectator 2''': ... Entering a magic competition together.
* One of the common ''Film/TheRockyHorrorPictureShow'' callbacks replies to Riff Raff's lines:
-->"Say goodbye to all of this..."
--->''Goodbye, all this!''
-->"And hello... to oblivion."
--->''Hi, Oblivion! How's the wife and kids?''\\
''Your wife, my kids!''
* In ''Film/AnimalHouse'', the Dean says:
-->''It's time someone put his foot down around here, and that foot is me.''
* ''Film/TheFortyYearOldVirgin'' tells us how to woo women: You plant a seed, you wait for that seed to grow into a plant, [[SophisticatedAsHell and then you fuck the plant]].
* ''Film/KissKissBangBang''
-->'''First Hitman:''' Well now, here we all are. Ike, Mike and Mustard.\\
'''Harry:''' What the hell does that mean?\\
'''Second Hitman:''' You know, I'm with him on this one, man. [[LampshadedTheObscureReference That's pretty fucking obscure]].\\
'''First Hitman:''' Horse shit, I hear that all the time!\\
'''Second Hitman:''' You do?\\
'''First Hitman:''' Yeah, sure.\\
'''Second Hitman:''' Where, at the 1942 club?\\
'''First Hitman:''' Hey, just 'cause you didn't get in...\\
'''Second Hitman:''' Motherfucker, I could've gotten in!\\
'''First Hitman:''' You wanna know who we are? I'm the frying pan, see? And my boy over here, he's?\\
'''Second Hitman:''' Mustard. I'm Mustard, baby.
* Dennis uses a couple of these in ''Film/SurvivingEden'':
-->''"Relationships are just like pigs. Feed 'em too much slop, and they'll get too fat. Feed 'em too little, and they'll break up with you."''\\\
''(confronting his fiancée, supposedly carrying his child) "Guess what, Adam and Eve got kicked out of Eden, you wanna know why? Because Eve wasn't really pregnant!"''
* ''Franchise/BackToTheFuture''
** Pretty much everything Biff Tannen tried in ''Film/BackToTheFuture''.
--->''"That makes about as much sense as a screen door on a battleship!"''\\\
''"Why don't you make like a tree and get out of here?"''
** His future self in ''Film/BackToTheFuturePartII'' actually berates him on this point.
** Ditto for his great-grandfather Mad Dog Tannen in ''Film/BackToTheFuturePartIII''.
--->''"I'll hunt you and shoot you down like a duck!"''
* In ''Film/TheBoondockSaints'', Doc tells the invasive Russian mobsters to leave, in a possible ShoutOut to the ''Film/BackToTheFuture'' example above:
-->''"Why don't you make like a tree... and get the fuck out of here!"''
** The bartender and his patrons did this a lot in that scene, though the latter were making fun of the former.
--->''"People in glass houses sink ships!"''\\\
"A penny saved is worth two in the bush, isn't it?"''\\\
"And don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen!"
** He speaks almost exclusively in these. The hilarity is compounded by his Tourette's.
* The opening narration of ''Film/OutCold'' has [[TalkativeLoon Stumpy]] comparing Bull Mountain to a woman, then switching over to a discourse on skiing injuries that has nothing to do with women, then ending on a note that would make his soliloquy a good comparison of a ''woman'' to the ''mountain'', but making absolutely no sense the other way around.
* In ''Film/TheOtherGuys'', after [[AnalogyBackfire pointing out the flaws in Terry comparing himself to a lion going after a tuna]], Allen continues to spin a scenario where the school of tuna build an apparatus that lets them go on land and hunt down the lion's family.
* From ''[[Film/ThirteenGoingOnThirty 13 Going On 30]]'':
-->'''Tom-Tom''': Okay, you can wipe off the "doe-eyed Disney/{{Bambi}} watching her mother get shot [[CrossesTheLineTwice strapped to the back of a van]]" look from your face!
* In ''Film/TheSocialNetwork'', Sean Parker uses the metaphor of a fisherman having his photo taken with one big Marlin instead of 15 trout. Eduardo goes into all the technical details, like how much a Marlin could weigh in real life and how strong the fisherman would have to be, while an irate Mark tells him that he's ComicallyMissingThePoint.
* In ''Film/LuckyNumberSlevin'':
-->'''Sloe:''' You got some ID?\\
'''Slevin:''' See, the funny thing about that is I got mugged this morning...\\
'''Sloe:''' ''(interrupting)'' Look, look! Tell it to the one-legged man, so he can bump it off down the road.\\
''(awkward silence)''
* ''Film/AceVenturaWhenNatureCalls'':
-->''Ace:'' I shall slip amongst them, like an unseen... thing!
* ''Film/KillBill'': "...But you're ''not'' a worker bee. You're a renegade killer bee."
* In ''Film/BuckyLarsonBornToBeAStar'', right after Bucky is told he [[spoiler:isn't big enough downstairs to be a porn star]], Antonio the diner owner offers to be in porn, saying "I'm hung like a cocker spaniel", at which point Miles Deep, the porn director, says, "A cocker spaniel isn't a big dog." "Yeah, but it's warm, and cuddly, and loyal, and has warm eyes." "Your dick has warm eyes?" "You know what I mean!"
* ''Theatre/TheOddCouple II'': Oscar and Felix painfully go through several different metaphors, before Oscar says he can't remember what they started out talking about.
* ''Film/LoadedWeapon1'' does this in a battle of wits, ''[[LampshadeHanging then points it out]]''.
-->'''Morters''': Where's the microfilm, Mike?\\
'''[=McCracken=]''': I don't know, I gave it to York. I thought she was one of your men.\\
'''Morters''': Act in haste, repent in leisure.\\
'''[=McCracken=]''': But he who hesitates is lost.\\
'''Morters''': Never judge a book by its cover.\\
'''[=McCracken=]''': What you see is what you get.\\
'''Morters''': Loose lips sink ships.\\
'''[=McCracken=]''': [[Music/TheBeatles Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing or fighting my friend.]]\\
''(Mr. Jigsaw consults Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, shakes his head)''
* ''Film/DinnerForSchmucks'':
-->'''Kieran''': ''(after hearing Tim's girlfriend left him)'' There's not a lot of monogamy in the animal kingdom. Not many animals mate for life. Penguins do. I've spent a lot of time with penguins, and they're really cool. Maybe you're a penguin, Tim, but Julie's not a penguin. She's a lioness! Don't try to mate a lioness with a penguin--ever. Have you ever seen a mammal and a bird mate? I've never even heard of that.
* ''Film/GuardiansOfTheGalaxy''
--> '''Peter Quill''': "Here's the point; [Gamora] betrayed [[BigBad Ronan]]. He's coming back for her, and when he does, that's when you... ''(runs a finger over his neck)''\\
'''Drax''': ...[[LiteralMinded why would I put my finger on his throat?]]\\
'''Quill''': ...Oh, no, this is a...this is a symbol...for you, slicing his throat.\\
'''Drax''': I would not slice his throat. I would cut his head clean off.\\
'''Quill''': It's a general expression for you killing somebody. ''(turns to a nearby inmate)'' You've heard of this, you've seen this, right? You know what that is, right?
* ''Film/ANightAtTheRoxbury'':
-->'''Steve''': Dad, it's like this. Doug is like a fax machine. You keep putting things in, but if it doesn't have a cover page, people don't know where it's coming from. And sometimes you get a busy signal. That's why you have a memory button, and a redial button... Actually I never use those, I always screw them up.
* John Lennon does a visual gag in ''Film/AHardDaysNight'' where he pretends to snort a bottle of soda pop, as in "snorting coke" -- but it's a bottle of [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar Pepsi]]!
* ''Film/HappyGilmore'' goes on a tirade when he can't get the ball to "go home"
-->'''Happy''': Son of a bitch ball, why you don't you just go HOME? That's your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME? ANSWER ME!
* ''Film/TheWorldsEnd'': "And this time we're going to see it to the bitter end! ...Or lager end."
* Parodied in the fourth ''Film/ScaryMovie'', when the guy who's hiding in a cellar from the aliens tells Tom the metaphor from ''Film/WarOfTheWorlds'' that the alien invasion is no more a real war than there is between man and maggots. He continues: there's also no real war between dragons and wolves. And man, riding dragons, throwing wolves at maggots. Tom gives the camera a vacant expression in response.
* The low-budget sci-fi movie ''Film/{{ROTOR}}'' has lots of these, such as "You fire me and I’ll make more noise than two skeletons making love in a tin coffin, brother."
* ''Film/WhatsUpTigerLily'' opens with creator Creator/WoodyAllen explaining why he was approached to do a spy movie:
-->''"If you know me at all, you know that death is my bread, and danger my butter. Oh no, no, ''danger'' is my bread and ''death'' is my butter. No no, wait, danger is my bread, ...death, no, death? No, I'm sorry, death is my... Death and danger are my various breads and, and various butters."''
* ''Film/EarthGirlsAreEasy'' - manicurist Valerie is willing to patch things up with her cheating fiance, but has to put her foot down:
-->''"A relationship is a lot like a porcelain nail, Ted. You can break it, and you can glue it back together, but it's not going to be as strong as it was unless the person is really committed to not bringing home nurses!"''
* [[Film/IronMan Tony Stark]], toward the end of ''Film/SpiderManHomecoming'':
-->''"You screwed the pooch hard, Peter. But then you did the right thing; you took her to the free clinic, you raised her hybrid puppies...okay, that's not the best analogy."''

* In ancient history, a non-comedic version of this is referred to as a "Homeric Simile". This is based on instances in Literature/TheIliad and Literature/TheOdyssey where the narrator starts off comparing two things, then continues into minute details that are seemingly unnecessary. For instance, if someone was feeling happy, the story might say:
-->''"His joy was as warm as the joy that shipwrecked sailors might feel when they catch sight of land after Poseidon has struck down their well-rigged ship on the open sea with gale winds and crushing walls of waves, with only a few surviving, swimming, struggling out of the frothing surf to reach the shore, their bodies crusted with salt but buoyed up with glee as they plant their feet on solid ground."''
* Creator/TomHolt regularly includes some kind of brutal disjunction of "omelettes and eggs". Did you know that it ''is'' possible to make omelettes without shredding chickens, but it doesn't make as good television?
* This is frequently seen in ''Literature/{{Discworld}}'' novels, due to the extreme literal-mindedness of many of the characters. Sometimes, of course, taking the metaphor a little too far actually ''works.''
-->''"[[TimePolice Time was something that largely happened to other people;]] [Lu-Tze] viewed it in the same way that people on the shore viewed the sea. It was big and it was out there, and sometimes it was an invigorating thing to dip a toe into, but you couldn't live in it all the time. Besides, it always made his skin wrinkle."''
** The narration of ''Discworld/NightWatch'' has this to say about Vetinari, then a student Assassin: "His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things."
* From Creator/JohnCWright's ''[[Literature/ChroniclesOfChaos Fugitives of Chaos]]''
-->''"...Three decks of balcony and bulkhead were crumpled and staved-in as if a tree had fallen on them. It would have had to have been a redwood tree, I suppose, and made of iron. Perhaps dropped from orbit. Never mind the tree; it looked like a bomb had gone off."''
* In ''Literature/SoLongAndThanksForAllTheFish'', hitchhiking alien Ford Prefect has a dream in which he encounters a new life form emerging from a polluted New York river. When the creature asks him what life is like he responds:
-->''"Life is like a grapefruit. Well, it's sort of orangey-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have a half a one for breakfast."''
* [[Literature/ASeriesOfUnfortunateEvents Lemony Snicket]] seems to have an affinity for strange and humorous metaphors of this kind.
** ''The Beatrice Letters'' has, "The day was as cold and bitter as hot chocolate if it had been put in a fridge for several hours and filled with vinegar."
** In ''The Penultimate Peril'', there is: "Deciding whether or not to trust a person is like deciding whether or not to climb a tree, because you might get a wonderful view from the highest branch, or you might simply get covered in sap, and for this reason many people choose to spend their time alone and indoors, where it is harder to get a splinter."
* From [[https://www.msu.edu/~haasadam/thoughts.htm Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts]]
-->''"Life, to me, is like a quiet forest pool, one that needs a direct hit from a big rock half-buried in the ground. You pull and you pull, but you can't get the rock out of the ground. So you give it a good kick, but you lose your balance and go skidding down the hill toward the pool. Then out comes a big Hawaiian man who was screwing his wife beside the pool because they thought it was real pretty. He tells you to get out of there, but you start faking it, like you're talking Hawaiian, and then he gets mad and chases you..."''
* Among the concepts used by the Oulipo, who were basically the UsefulNotes/{{Dada}}ists of the literary world, is the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%27Pataphysics#.27Pataphor 'pataphor]] (canonically spelled with the apostrophe). It is described as being like a lizard whose tail has grown so long that the tail breaks off and grows a new lizard. [[SelfDemonstratingArticle "Look, Bob," said Alice, "what a strange lizard." "Indeed," replied Bob absently, beginning to grow impatient with this interminable safari.]]
* From the Literature/EighthDoctorAdventures:
** "Pleased with his metaphor, Fitz attempted to extend it."
** Even [[CloserToEarth Anji]] [[NotSoAboveItAll has been guilty of this]]. [[ExaggeratedTrope Very guilty]].
--->''"The thing about it was, though, that if you knew there was something to know, and you hadn't been told about it, there was no way you could keep your mind from worrying about what it might be – like a tongue forever probing at an imperfection in a tooth, while you're wondering whether, if you ever pluck up enough courage to go to the dentist about it, it's going to be merely some calcine accumulation that can be simply blasted away, or the sort of root-canal job that leaves you unable to eat for three days for fear of disturbing what feels like three tons of amalgam."''
* Lampshaded by Creator/PattonOswalt in his essay "Dating a Stripper is a Recipe for Perspective" from ''Things I've Learned From Women Who've Dumped Me'':
-->''"But even the sweetest apple plucked from the tree of love can become a rotted, flyblown failure full of disease, maggots, and yelling.\\
Yes, when love goes bad, it can fill an apple with yelling."''
* This trope occurs regularly in William Langland's 14th Century NarrativePoem, ''Piers Plowman'', which is famous for its abstruse allegorical method which consistently stretches metaphors way further than their comfortable limits. See, for instance, the explanation of the Trinity as Hand (fingers, palm and fist) and Candle (taper, flame, and wax) in Passus 17 of the B text.
* In ''Literature/JeevesAndWooster'' Bertie sometimes falls into this while narrating. ''Very Good, Jeeves!'' gives us this gem:
-->''"One of the first lessons life teaches us is that on these occasions of back-chat between the delicately-nurtured a man should retire into the offing, curl up in a ball, and imitate the prudent tactics of the opossum, which, when danger is in the air, pretends to be dead, frequently going to the length of hanging out crepe and instructing its friends to stand round and say what a pity it all is."''
* In ''Literature/KillTimeOrDieTrying'' Nathan discourages dating within the club with the saying 'You don't poop where you eat'. He tries to stretch this metaphor to explain to Brad why long-distance relationships are a bad idea, saying 'You don't mail your poop to Bloemfontein either, Brad.'
* In the ''Literature/MediochreQSethSeries'', Mediochre has several.
-->'''Mediochre''': This whole scene could have stepped out of a cheesy fantasy adventure were it not for the fact that scenes are incapable of stepping anywhere due to severe deficiency in the foot department.
* Jack's explanation of all the different worlds in Literature/SpiderCircus becomes this. It's something to do with knitting baskets and wool, and cracks in the wool.
* A RunningGag in ''Literature/TheReckonersTrilogy'' is that the narrator, David, is ''horrifically'' bad at metaphors, resulting in things like "banana farm for guns," "brick made of porridge," and "ninja alligators." And that's ''before'' he starts overthinking them.
-->''"Megan’s eyes could have drilled holes through... well, anything, I guess. I mean, eyes can’t normally drill holes through things, so the metaphor works regardless, right?"''
* A lot of the humor in ''Literature/HelpMyStoryHasTheMarySueDisease'' is based on this. For example:
-->''"Trust that your readers aren’t goldfish. (If they were goldfish, you’d already be world famous for teaching fish how to read and the problems with your writing wouldn’t actually matter anymore, because, holy shit, you taught fish how to read.)"''

[[folder:Live-Action TV]]
* ''Series/{{Angel}}'', like ''Buffy'' below, inevitably inherits this.
-->'''Fred:''' You're like the Series/MacGyver of Wolfram and Hart!\\
'''Knox:''' You're not wrong! I can make practically anything out of a...a fully equipped, multi-million-dollar...lab.
* ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'' examples:
** In "Ted", Buffy lets her annoyance at her mother's new boyfriend creep into a strategic discussion about killing vampires:
--->'''Buffy''': Vampires are creeps.\\
'''Giles''': Yes, that's why one slays them.\\
'''Buffy''': I mean, people are perfectly happy getting along, and then vampires come, and they run around and they kill people, and they take over your whole house, they start making these stupid little mini pizzas, and everyone's like, 'I like your mini pizzas,' but I'm telling you, I am...\\
'''Giles''': Uh, uh, Buffy! I-I believe the... {{subtext}} here is, is, rapidly becoming, uh, uh, text.
** Willow has a particularly beautiful bit in the Season Four premiere:
--->'''Willow''': But here, the energy, the collective intelligence, it's like this force, this penetrating force, and I can just feel my mind opening up -- you know? -- and letting this place thrust into and spurt knowledge into... [[ThatCameOutWrong That sentence ended up in a different place than it started out in]].
** The Season 3 episode "Homecoming". Willow expressing her guilt about kissing Xander.
--->'''Willow:''' We were so guilty about "the fluke" that we overcompensated helping Cordelia and spun the group dynamic out of orbit. Now we're just this meteor shower headed for Earth...
* ''Series/{{Coupling}}'' does this a lot.
** Susan's father is talking to Steve about Steve's habit of "soloing" (singing in the shower). Steve takes it as a sexual metaphor, which leads to him saying this: "[[Theatre/TwelfthNight If music be the food of love]], then masturbation is just a snack between meals."
** Also when Steve accidentally sees Sally naked, and she starts a metaphor of how she is like Australia:
--->'''Sally:''' Far away, vastly uninhabited, and filled with ''areas of great danger''.\\
'''Steve:''' Oh. I thought it was about having a lot of convicts.\\
''(Sally gives Steve a "The hell?" look)''\\
'''Steve:''' No, I understand. I'm welcome in your Melbourne, or your Sydney...\\
'''Sally:''' Yes.\\
'''Steve:''' ...but, [[InnocentInnuendo not in your bush]].
** Patrick discussing monogamy while pretending to be involved with Susan as part of competing with a rival.
--->'''Patrick''': I don't share my woman. It's like finding the right tennis racket. Once you've got one you really like using, you keep on using it until it falls apart and you have to get a new one. Only more emotional.
::: Though, this being Patrick, it's arguable that he didn't forget the metaphor at all, and means what it sounds like he means.
* In the Douglas Adamsinspired detective comedy ''Series/DirkGently'', this dialogue:
-->'''Suspect''': "Are you sayin' something's fishy, Mr. Gently?\\
'''Dirk''': Are YOU saying there's nothing to catch? In this river?\\
'''Suspect''': I'm sayin', your waders, have got an hole in 'em.\\
'''Dirk''': W-Well, I'm very adept with...a puncture repair kit.\\
'''Suspect''': [[{{Beat}} ...]]What?
* Used at least twice in the horror parody ''Series/GarthMarenghisDarkplace''.
** Most episodes end with Doctor Rick Dagless giving a conclusion to the story in monologue form. One of the most memorable is the classic first episode ending:
--->'''Dagless''': The doors of Darkplace were open. Not the literal doors of the building, most of which were closed. But evil doors. Dark doors. Doors, to the beyond. Doors that were hard to shut because they were abstract and didn't have handles. They were more like portals really.
** Also used during the first episode at a funeral.
--->'''The Padre''': Larry Renwick will be remembered for his wit, and laughing eyes. And for being, above all, a good friend. I'm sure we all feel that he exploded too young, but, the Lord moves in mysterious ways. Sometimes, he'll come in at an angle. Other times, he can hover, then swoop. Sometimes he can even come in from beneath, like a worm, or mole. The Lord, it's his call how he chooses to maneuver.
** There's a great one in the spin-off series ''Man to Man with Dean Learner'':
--->'''Dean Learner''': It's like that philosophical question: If a tree falls in the forest, and I'm not there, and it makes a sound, but I don't hear it, but someone records it and plays it back to me at a dinner party, does that mean I'm still in the forest? And if I am, then why can't I just take a piss in the garden rather than queuing for the toilet? And that's if the toilet even exists; I've been trying to use it all fucking night. I'm starting to doubt the existence of the toilet quite frankly at this stage of the proceedings. Get a portaloo is what I'm saying. If you're going to have a party of that size, get a portaloo. 'Cause I don't want to spend my entire fucking evening in the corridor. And if philosophy can solve those questions, then it's worth it. But thus far it can't. So I'm fucking busting, and what's Plato doing about it? Nothing."
* ''Series/DoctorWho'' does this quite a few times, especially in episodes written by Creator/StevenMoffat (which, given the length of the ''Series/{{Coupling}}'' section above, is perhaps [[SignatureStyle unsurprising]]).
** One of them is the TropeNamer for the TimeyWimeyBall trope. Sally remarks that the sentence started out well and the Doctor admits that "it got away from me". Whether he means the sentence or the ball is ambiguous.
** "The Time of Angels" has:
--->''"A needle that looks like hay, a hay-like needle of death. A hay-like needle of death in a haystack of... er, statues. No, yours was fine."''
** "The Pandorica Opens" on the virtues of buying another half hour's breathing space...not so much meta but definitely forgotten: "There are fruit flies that live on Hopperton 6, that live for twenty minutes and they don't even mate for life." *pause* "There was going to be a point to that. I'll get back to you."
** From "Victory of the Daleks", in reference to the Daleks: "There isn't a sincere bone in your body ''(without pause)'' There isn't a bone in your body."
** In the 2011 BBC Comic Relief Special, "Space", the Doctor mentions to Rory:
--->''"We're just entering conceptual space. Imagine a banana. Or anything curved. Actually, don't, because it's not curved or like a banana--FORGET THE BANANA!"''
** In the special "The End of Time" (paraphrased):
--->''"The Time War was time-locked; sealed inside a bubble--it's not a bubble, just think of it as a bubble..."''
** From the 50th Anniversary Special:
--->''"See, Clara, they're stored in the paintings in the Under-Gallery. Like Cup-A-Soups! Except you add time, if you can picture that. Nobody can picture that. Forget I said "Cup-A-Soups"."''
** In the Twelfth Doctor's first episode, Deep Breath:
--->''"Question; you take a broom, you replace the handle, and then later you replace the brush, and you do that over and over again. Is it the same broom? Answer; no, of course it isn't, but you can still sweep the floor, which is not strictly relevant, skip that last part."''
* In ''Series/TheFastShow,'' this was mostly averted with Swiss Toni, whose metaphors tended to have hilariously offensive InsaneTrollLogic:
--> Washing a car, Paul, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman: you've got to caress the body, breath softly and gently on her, and give every inch of it your loving attention. And make sure you've got a nice wet sponge.
--> Putting up a tent is very much like making love to a beautiful woman: you unzip the door, put up your pole, and slip into the old bag.
** However, when Swiss Toni started to lose his self-confidence, the trope is played absolutely straight:
--> Answering the phone, Paul, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You... pick up... the receiver... speak loudly and clearly... oh, and always state your name... (To himself) You're losing it Toni...
* On ''Series/{{Glee}}'', the new football coach, Shannon Bieste, does this quite a bit:
-->'''Shannon:''' You watch your tone with me, missy. You crap on my leg, I'll cut it off!
** Also, Sue "threatening" Will:
-->'''Sue:''' I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat. And then on some dark, cold night, I will steal away into your home, and ''punch you in the face!''
* This was done almost OnceAnEpisode on ''Series/HomeImprovement'' with Tim trying to repeat Wilson's metaphorical advice from memory, and... failing.
--> "You know Mark Twain? Scared to ''death'' of the Village People."
* One of the many varieties of [[DeadpanSnarker snark]] available on ''Series/{{House}}'' is the intentional Metaphorgotten.
** At one point in season 4, Cuddy is badgering House to hire a new team to replace his old one. His response?
--->'''House:''' You have sex before you get married. You test-drive a car before you buy it. I can't hire a team based on a ten-minute interview. What if I don't like having sex with them?
** Another example, this time a subversion:
--->'''Stacy''': If I wasn't married to Mark, I'd be on you like red on rice.\\
'''House''': But rice isn't... oh, ''you''.
** In season five, [[spoiler:after House drives Cameron to resign as Cuddy's temporary replacement (Cuddy wanted to spend time with her new baby),]] Cuddy secretly marks the elevators "out of order", forcing House to use the stairs.
--->'''House:''' Elevators keep crashing. Is Mercury in retrograde, or what?\\
'''Cuddy:''' Elevators can be capricious. Sometimes it just seems like they're out to get you.\\
'''House:''' Why do you think the elevators would be out to get me?\\
'''Cuddy:''' I don't know. Maybe they wanted to take time off to spend with their little dumbwaiter. But then they had to leave it at home with an elevator sitter because you drove the replacement elevator to quitting because you're incapable of listening to anybody but me. That's just a theory.\\
'''House:''' [[ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne You're wrong. I don't even listen to you.]]
* From ''Series/JeevesAndWooster'':
-->'''Spode''': Because he's a butterfly, who toys with women's hearts and throws them aside like soiled gloves!\\
'''Bertie''': [[LiteralMinded Do butterflies do that?]]
* ''Series/ModernFamily'':
** Jay and Phil arguing over confronting problems.
--->'''Jay:''' No, see, this is exactly why we sweep things under the rug. So people don't get hurt.\\
'''Phil:''' Well, yeah, until you sweep too much under the rug. Then you got a lumpy rug. Creates a tripping hazard. Open yourself up to lawsuits. [[DeathGlare Boy, you can go a really long time without blinking.]]
** In "Earthquake", when Claire is trapped in the bathroom after an earthquake, conveniently giving Phil time to fix something he had told her he had earthquake-proofed weeks ago.
--->'''Phil:''' You know what they say, sometimes, when God closes a door... he closes it so hard your wife can't get out.
** In "Come Fly With Me", Phil describing his relationship with his father-in-law.
--->'''Phil:''' The thing about me and Jay, is our relationship's always been stuck in that primal place where it started. You know, he's the old silverback protecting his females. Then along comes this younger, stronger gorilla swinging in, beating his chest. You know naturally, the ape-ladies come running, presenting their nice scarlet behinds. Papa ape wants to stop all that, but he can't. You know, that's life. I'm not the enemy. The enemy is poachers.
** When Claire and Phil are trying to convince Haley not to move in with Dylan, we only see the tail end of Phil's speech.
--->'''Phil:''' Next thing you know, you're an old woman in rags, trudging through the shattered ruins of civilization!\\
'''Haley:''' Wait, I'm confused. How did Dylan get the nuclear launch codes?\\
'''Phil:''' In the robot war!
* ''Series/MySoCalledLife'': "Life of Brian" involves Brian, Graham, Angela, Delia the new girl, and a metaphor involving wallpaper that covers ([[HurricaneOfPuns pun intended]]) most of the episode.
* In ''Series/PeepShow'':
** Jez is railing against his aunt's decision to give his religious uncle a secular funeral during his eulogy, except that he tries to compare Jesus to the Irish musician Enya, capped off by claiming "Enya died for our sins".
** In the episode where [[spoiler: Sophie]] has her baby Super Hans compares it to seeing the channel tunnel. "And then imagine a fucking huge baby coming out of there!"
* Shawn Spencer in ''Series/{{Psych}}'' frequently comes up with metaphors. Problem is, they either make no sense in relation to what he's talking about, or he veers off in his meaning and... loses it.
** One example:
--->'''Shawn''': Pack it in, pull the plug, shut it down, leave the dead meat in the freezer, and put on your Sunday best, 'cause it's Arbor Day, baby!
** Or from the Disco episode:
--->'''Shawn''': You are no longer a cop. And unless you plan on going back to the academy, and climbing the high wall, and doing the obstacle course where you shoot the bad guys but not the old lady with the sack, or the blind guy with the cane, or the cute little squirrel with the bushy tail and the big fat nut... It started off well.
** It's not just Shawn. In the episode "There's Something About Mira", Mira's mother offers us this gem:
--->''"[[ILikeMyXLikeILikeMyY I like my men like I like my wine.]] White and hairy."''
*** Which gives Shawn the opportunity to reply with
---->''"That makes no sense. None whatsoever."''
* ''Series/PushingDaisies'' is absolutely filled with this sort of thing and related tropes, due to the eccentric speech patterns of most of the characters. One typical example comes when Olive and Chuck are discussing their scheme to get Chuck's aunts to start swimming again.
-->'''Olive:''' Phase 2 has experienced a hiccup.\\
'''Chuck:''' The kind of hiccup that goes away if you drink a glass of water or hold your breath?\\
'''Olive:''' No, the kind of hiccup that keeps you up for days on end till you go crazy and you give away all your cherished mermaid mementos and refuse to get back in the pool again.
* The Celebrity Jeopardy sketch in ''Series/SaturdayNightLive'':
-->'''Sean Connery''': What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck, and I can't remember how it ends but your mother's a whore.
* ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'':
** Frank Constanza says to his son's boss: "You couldn't smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a dame... I lost my train of thought."
** When George's mother catches him masturbating and insists he see a psychiatrist, he complains "If everyone who did... that had to see a psychiatrist..." then veers off realizing he has no idea how to end that thought. At prompting from Jerry he just says "Whatever!"
* ''Series/{{Spaced}}'':
** In the Pilot episode, Tim gives his cheating ex-girlfriend an elaborate metaphor for why he's leaving her.
--->'''Tim''': You can't dangle the bogus carrot of possible reconciliation in front of my face whilst riding some other donkey.
** When Daisy discusses her recent breakup with her now ex-boyfriend:
--->'''Daisy''': In the end, our relationship was just like a sandwich toaster. You know, you just forget you've got one. And it just sits there on the top of the cupboard collecting a layer of greasy fudge. And even if you do see it you just assume it's broken, you think if it's working I'd be using it all the time, but you don't and it just sits there. Then one day, you get an overwhelming desire for toasted sandwiches, you know? And you get it down and it works, and you can't believe it, you know? And then you make every kind of toasted sandwich there is, you have toasted sandwich parties. '''[...]''' And then as quickly as the desire comes, it just goes. And then you put the toaster sandwich maker away. And, you know what?\\
'''Tim''': What?\\
'''Daisy''': You don't miss it.\\
'''Bilbo''': So what you're saying is "Don't hide the toasted sandwich maker away, use him regularly and you'll get the most out of him"?\\
'''Tim''': No, she's saying "Chuck your boyfriend, have a sandwich".
** Tim's classic comparison between waiting for a possible reunion with his ex-girlfriend and masturbation:
--->'''Tim''': I just had a moment of clarity, you know, I woke up. It's like... you know when you have an orgasm on your own? ''(Daisy looks increasingly disgusted and uncertain during the following)'' You know, you're sort of lying on the sofa watching some porn movie you bought on a drunken lonely night in Soho, and you're lying there and everything's going really great, you're getting totally turned on by these absurdly graphic images, everything seems so right, and suddenly - phht! Bingo! You wake up. And you're lying there sweating, desperately looking for the tissue which you know is still in your pocket, and the remote control which is somewhere on the floor, and it's like walking in on yourself, you know? It's just like "What you doing?" That's how I felt tonight feeling my heart miss a beat every time the door opened. "What the fuck are you doing?"\\
'''Daisy''': Well... that's love, isn't it? Load of old wank.
** When Tim tells Daisy he thinks his ex might want to take him back:
--->'''Daisy''': What do you mean, you have a "funny feeling"?\\
'''Tim''': I can read her like a book.\\
'''Daisy''': Never judge a book by it's cover.\\
'''Tim''': He who dares, wins.\\
'''Daisy''': Look before you leap.\\
'''Tim''': Do you believe in life after love?\\
'''Daisy''': That's a song.\\
'''Tim''': Shit.
* ''Series/SpinCity'':
** At one point, Michael and Caitlin are arguing over their delayed RelationshipUpgrade, using recent negotiations between two city departments as the metaphor. Later on, when they make up, Michael tries to continue the metaphor by stating that "the department would really like... to have sex with you."
** Also in ''Spin City,'' we have Nikki explaining how she got into accounting: "Numbers are uncomplicated. Numbers don't lie. And they don't say they're coming over and then never call, so you go out for a coffee and see them walking up the street with another woman..."
* ''Series/{{Titus}}'' has:
-->'''Titus''': ''(holding a glass of water)'' If sex were water...Tommy hasn't had sex in two years. ''(shrugs and takes a drink)''
* In an episode of ''Series/YesPrimeMinister'', Prime Minister Hacker's political adviser makes a case for being returned to her usual office (from which she has been unceremoniously removed by the machinations of Sir Humphrey) by [[PlanningWithProps using some objects on the table, including a teacup, an ash-tray and a saucer]], to construct a rough map of the interior of 10 Downing Street to prove its strategic worth. Hacker agrees, and summons Bernard to have the adviser moved to her office "between the tea-cup, the ash-tray and the saucer." Bernard, who was not present during the initial metaphor, is as confused as you'd expect.
* Narrowly averted in an episode of ''Series/{{Warehouse 13}}''.
-->'''Ms. Frederick''': You took a shot in the dark.\\
'''Arty''': We hit that target dead center!\\
'''Ms. Frederick''': With a small caliber bullet!\\
'''Arty''': His caliber is very lar-- ''({{beat}})'' You know what, I'm done with this analogy.
* ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'' has several of these.
** There's:
--->'''Barney''': I can't hit on women in my own bar. Remember the old Barney? He was a lion. The king of the jungle; stalking whatever prey he chose. Going in for the kill.\\
'''Ted''': You've got a whole meatlocker at home full of corpses, don't you?\\
'''Barney''': Now look at me. Declawed. Neutered. What was once my jungle is now my zoo and I am forced to mate with the same old lioness again and again and again, while families pay to watch.\\
'''Ted''': Yeah, this metaphor has really fallen apart.
** When Marshall and Lily are trying to decide whether or not they should try to conceive a child:
---> '''Lily''': Well, Marshall was going to come home early from work so that we could... have dinner... but then he couldn't make it, and it got me thinking - what if I'm not ready to... have dinner?\\
'''Ted''': Well, I had an early lunch, so I'm ready for dinner.\\
'''Lily''': Dinner is a baby!\\
'''Robin''': Lily, that's horrible!
** Barney anticipating finally having sex with Nora:
--->'''Barney''': Hey kid. You know how your mom won't let you have ice-cream till after dinner, but the waiting kinda makes it taste better? Well, I've been waiting two months for that bowl of ice cream.... and tonight, I'm going to have sex with it.
** Marshal talking about Ted's girlfriend who cheats on him every time they get back together:
--->'''Marshal''': Ted is Charlie Brown always trying to kick the football, and Karen is Lucy who pulls it away at the last second and has sex with it.
** A subtle one from Ted's boss (regarding Ted's newest task of designing Styrofoam trees): "This isn't just about trees, Ted. This is about life. And sometimes, in life, you have to get the trees just right, or you're fired."
* ''Series/UglyBetty'' has: "You'll always be compared to that first motorcycle. Especially when it's shoving its tongue down your girlfriend's throat."
* ''Series/GossipGirl'' does this a few times.
** This dialogue snippet:
--->'''Rufus''': I dated a girl like Serena, once. Actually, a lot like Serena. And girls like that might be challenging. That's true. And they're complicated, and enigmatic. And usually worth it. And the only way you know for sure is to jump it with both feet.\\
'''Dan''': What happened with you?\\
'''Rufus''': I swam for a while. Till I drowned.\\
'''Dan''': Oh. Well, thanks, Dad. That's a great story.
** Blair, after having been lured away with Chuck on an all-night trip to find Georgina, which ended with Blair driving off in Chuck's limo after finding out he didn't need her to come along in the first place:
--->'''Serena''': It doesn't make sense!\\
'''Blair''': Feelings never do. They get you all confused. Then they drive you around for hours before they drop you right back where you started.
* ''Series/TheOfficeUS'' is notorious for using derailed metaphors:
** In the episode "The Coup," Michael describes Dwight's attempt at betrayal and loses track of his point:
--->''"Business is like a jungle, I am like a tiger, and Dwight is like the monkey that stabs the tiger in the back with a stick. Does the tiger fire the monkey? Does he transfer the monkey to a different branch? (eyes light up) Pun! There is no way of knowing what is going on inside the tiger's head. We don't have that kind of technology."''
** One episode has Dwight attempting to explain his relationship with Michael:
--->''"We're like one of those classic famous teams. He's like Mozart, and I'm like... Mozart's friend. No... I'm like Butch Cassidy, and Michael is like Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart, you're going to get a bullet in your head. Courtesy of Butch Cassidy."''
** Jim in "The Delivery, Part One", re: Pam's decision to not leave for the hospital to deliver her baby until the contractions are five minutes apart:
--->'''Jim''': "So the plan was seven minutes, but we're calling an audible. Because that's her call. 'Cause she's the quarterback. I'm just the left tackle who happened to get her pregnant."
* ''Series/TheInbetweeners'': "Women are like fairground rides, son. Fucking mental..."
* ''Series/BetterOffTed'' does this a lot.
** When Linda is meeting an ex-boyfriend for coffee:
--->'''Linda''': I gotta go meet Don at the Who Cares What People Think Café, where if someone sees something that they want, they just have it, and it's the best thing they've ever had. Because that meal's been practicing yoga for seven years. [[DontExplainTheJoke In case you missed it, by "that meal" I mean me.]] [[LampshadeHanging I'm bad at metaphors, but I'm great at sex.]]
** There's also:
--->'''Veronica''': It's time for this fawn to strap on a machinegun, spread its wings and fly! <!-- "fawn" as in young deer, or "faun" as in wood-sprite or satyr? -->
*** Although, this is technically not a metaphorgotten; the end of the episode revealed that Veronica honestly didn't know what a fawn was, and was just stringing ideas together as she came up with them.
* Technically this was in a newspaper, but when asked about his cancelled quiz show ''The Rich List'', Andrew O'Keefe came out with this gem, comparing it to his other show: "''The Rich List'' is like a dear cousin sadly taken before its time, never to return I'm afraid. Unlike ''Series/DealOrNoDeal'', which is like the bachelor uncle who shows up to every family function without fail and drinks everything in sight and gets all the kids dancing and hyper before taking off into the night in his '65 Mercedes convertible which could use a little TLC."
* Series 6, episode 5 of Series/{{Hustle}} gave us obnoxious, management-speak-spouting [[TheMark mark]] [[AssholeVictim Mervyn Lloyd]]:
-->As far as I'm concerned, moving forward: young is the new old. People who don't just think outside the box, they rip up the box, tramp on it, fly it around the room for a bit and put it back together again. As a ''circle''.
* ''Series/ThatMitchellAndWebbLook'' gives us this announcement about an upcoming football match:
--> '''Announcer:''' Coming up mid-week! The giants of Charlton play host to the titans of Ipswich...making them both seem normal-sized!
* Creator/ShaunMicallef was fond of this on ''Series/TheMicallefProgram'':
** One particular example that springs to mind, from an opening monologue:
--->'''Shaun:''' You know, political humour and satiricalness is very much the bag I'm into laughwise. I see an injustice in our society and I ''pounce'' on it like a cougar, ripping it open like a fawn and eating it whole. Now, the suits here tell me to cool it, but I tell them to back off. 'Cause I'm calling the shots here and it's my arse on the line. And if there's a fawn around selling off public housing, or pushing economic rationalism when the cats aren't digging it, or doing other bad things, then this fawn is going down. Down as far as it can burrow. And if the public want to see me kill and eat a burrowing fawn on national television, then by Godfrey they ''shall''!
** It's common to his role as "[[HandsomeLech Fabio]], [[FunnyForeigner the handsomest man in the world]]", along with DisorganizedOutlineSpeech.
** He's described his more recent show ''Series/TalkinBoutYourGeneration'' as "''Series/{{QI}}'' [[JustForFun/XMeetsY meets]] ''It's A Knockout'', goes out with each other for a few weeks, then ''QI'' gets dumped and takes up with ''Series/SpicksAndSpecks'', but awkwardly runs into ''It's A Knockout'' again a couple of months later and they have an affair. ''Spicks And Specks'' finds out, shoots ''It's A Knockout'' in a jealous rage and goes to jail"
* ''Series/FatherTed'': When Mrs Doyle pleads with Ted not to replace the broken tea-making machine, by espousing the pleasures of making tea by hand:
-->'''Mrs Doyle''': The playful splash of the tea as it hits the bottom of the cup. The thrill of adding the milk and watching it settle for a moment before it filters slowly down through the cup changing the colour from dark brown to a lighter brown. Perching an optional Jaffa cake on the saucer, like a proud soldier standing at attention next to a... giant cup of tea.
* From the ''Series/{{Firefly}}'' episode "Ariel":
-->'''Mal''': ''(looking through the window)'' The next time you decide to stab me in the back... Have the guts to do it to my face. [[note]]Also known in some circles as the "Last Reacharound".[[/note]]
** And in "Jaynestown":
--->'''Simon''': You're like a trained ape. Without the training!
* In ''Series/TheBigBangTheory'', the CasanovaWannabe tries to kiss TheChick while she was trying to make him better. She hits him. When his friends ask what happened, his answer goes along the lines:
-->'''Penny:''' He slipped and fell.\\
'''Howard:''' Yes, I slipped and fell. In the bathroom. Bounced right off the tub.\\
'''Penny:''' Yes, now he knows what bathtubs are capable of doing when you don't treat them with respect.\\
'''Howard:''' Yeah. They sucker punch you when your eyes are closed.
** Sheldon on Penny's singing voice:
---> '''Sheldon:''' If cats could sing...they'd hate it too.
** Raj tries to convince Leonard to ditch his date with his sister and go on a mission with the guys to track down the guy that hacked Sheldon's ''VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft'' account:
---> '''Raj:''' Bros before... my sister.
** This one is admittedly [[JustifiedTrope understandable,]] as Penny was drugged at the time (which is why it's lampshaded):
--->'''Penny:''' You know people think you are this weird robot man who's so annoying all the time and you totally are. But then it's like that movie Wall-E at the end. You're so full of love and you can save a plant and get fat people out of their floaty chairs.\\
'''Sheldon:''' Thats a fairly laboured metaphor but I appreciate the sentiment behind it.
* Series/MockTheWeek: Zoe Lyons, who is very much a lesbian, stepped up for "Scenes We'd Like to See - Unlikely Chat-Up Lines" with "I like my men like I like...women."
* ''Series/MyNameIsEarl'':
** Inverted by [[TooDumbToLive Randy]] who, after he allowed two convicts to walk into an ice cream shop unsupervised, was offered the 'bull in a "[[{{Malaproper}} Chinese]]" shop' analogy:
--->''"How could you even get a bull in a Chinese shop? The doors would have to be huge. And even if you managed to get him in there all he would do is start wrecking... [[ExplainExplainOhCrap oh."]]''
** Also:
--->'''Gwen''': Look, just forget about this okay. It's not your fault, you were just the straw that broke the camel's back.\\
'''Earl''': But that's the thing! I’m the straw. Without the straw, the camel wouldn’t have a broken back.\\
'''Gwen''': Yes, but if you remove the straw from the camel’s back, that doesn’t fix it. The camel is still dead.\\
'''Earl''': ''({{beat}})'' Camels can go forty days without water…
* In ''Series/TheITCrowd'':
** Douglas has a very good one.
--->"Well, I'm the boss. Head Honcho. El Numero Uno. Mr. Big. Film/TheGodfather. [[Film/TheLordOfTheRings Lord of the Rings]]. Film/TheBourneIdentity. Er... Film/TaxiDriver. Film/{{Jaws}}. I forgot the question quite a while back. Who are you, again?"
** Moss has one when Roy criticizes his plan in Series 2:
--->''"Prepare to put mustard on those words, for you will soon be consuming them along with this slice of humble pie that comes direct from the oven of shame, set at gas mark 'egg on your face'!"''
** Then there's Mr. Reynholm's lecture about stress.
--->''"I am declaring war. A war on stress! Stress is a disease and I am the cure. I am a doctor - no, wait, I'm a general, and I'm still fighting a war against disease - no, stress!"''
* In ''Series/BlackBooks''
** When an illiterate thug reminds Bernard he only has a few days to teach him to read:
-->'''Danny:''' ...if I can't read by Friday, you'll both be brown bread. Buttered. With Harry. On the boat.\\
'''Bernard:''' ''(sobbing)'' Who's Harry?! I don't even have a boat!
** When Manny works at Goliath Books, his manager makes one:
-->'''Evan:''' You see, selling books is a game. It has rules. And you need to learn those rules and get serious about them, ''because it's not a game''.\\

* Michael's speech right at the end of ''Series/QueerAsFolk'': "People are like snowflakes: every one special and unique... and in the morning you have to shovel them off them driveway."
* In ''Series/TheGeorgeLopezShow'', George is telling his niece to stop being soft. He says this:
-->"You gotta keep your heart hard, like... like a lobster. Then the only way for people to get in is to crack your shell and get at your meat with a ''tiiiiiiiny'' little fork."
* ''Series/CornerGas'' has a few.
** One example:
--->'''Davis''': A billy club is a cop's best friend.\\
'''Karen''': I thought you said a gun was a cop's best friend.\\
'''Davis''': Well, a gun is more like a cop's lover. There's some things you tell your gun that you'd never tell a lover. And sometimes your lover and your best friend don't get along. Or maybe you go out with one and the other gets mad at you 'cause you didn't go out with it!\\
'''Karen''': You're divorced, right?
** Another one:
--->'''Hank:''' Check and mate! The hunter has become the hunted! The fox has become the...fox...who is...catching himself...
* ''Series/XenaWarriorPrincess'', "The Royal Couple of Thieves":
-->'''Autolycus''': Yeah, you see, a woman's chastity is like a new hat. A beautiful thing that's...\\
''(Xena appears)''\\
'''Autolycus''': ...going to kill me.
* From ''Series/TheThickOfIt'':
-->'''Dan Miller:''' If you're gonna make an omelette, you're going to have to have some frank and honest discussion with the eggs.
* ''Series/That70sShow'' has a tendency for their characters to go into these, especially Kelso and Jackie.
* ''Series/{{Community}}'':
-->'''Britta:''' Raising him means letting him follow his dreams.\\
'''Abed's Father:''' Dreams are for sleeping!\\
'''Britta:''' You don't know that!\\
'''Abed's Father:''' It's clinically proven!\\
'''Britta:''' So's polio!\\
'''Abed's Father:''' You lost me!
** Troy and Abed are mesmerized by the HotLibrarian:
--->'''Troy:''' I wanna be a book. She could pick me up...flip through my pages...make sure nobody drew weiners in me...
* In [[http://gawker.com/5825826/stephen-colbert-expands-on-john-mccains-tea-party-hobbits-metaphor this]] sequence on ''Series/TheColbertReport'', Stephen Colbert tries to explain a metaphor made by John [=McCain=] comparing Middle-Earth to the debt ceiling debate, using ''Film/LordOfTheRings'' figurines. Each one he brings out strains the metaphor a little more, until:
--> One more thing. ''[brings out a full-scale sword replica]'' This, of course, is Aragorn's sword Andúril, Flame of the West, reforged from the Shards of Narsil, given to me by Creator/ViggoMortensen. Now, this has nothing to do with the metaphor; I just want to remind everyone that I have this.
** Remember, Nation. If you love something, set it free and if it comes back it's yours forever. If it doesn't come back, [[ReplacementLoveInterest find something that looks exactly like it and make it wear the dress.]]
* In ''Series/StargateSG1'', O'Neill at one point gets into a sort of metaphor battle with a village leader. When O'Neill says "Birds of a feather," the leader doesn't get it, having not heard it before. O'Neill tries to explain that it's about "flocking" and "togetherness", before admitting that he isn't sure himself.
* Michael's very first line on ''Series/BurnNotice'' slips into this.
-->''"Know what it's like being a spy? Like sitting in your dentist's reception area twenty-four hours a day. You read magazines, sip coffee, and every so often, someone tries to kill you."''
** Though arguably, he's not ''derailing'' a metaphor--he's literally saying that being a spy is like sitting in a waiting room where someone occasionally tries to kill you.
* ''Series/TheDailyShow'':
-->'''Jon Stewart:''' It's a great day when the president of the United States says on national television that gay people should no longer be regulated to only planning other people's weddings. It's not right. It's like putting a cat in charge of the Goldfish Toss game, it's not fair. You're just torturing the cat; just let him eat the fish or move him to Down a Clown. That's a better game for the cat. [[LampshadeHanging What are we talking about, I forgot already]].
** Also, he said that when the USA's enemies start trouble, they are waking a sleeping grizzly bear, one that could kill them easily but is feeling tired, getting low on salmon, and would rather that other large mammals pitch in, for example the panda, which just lies around all day and buys up the grizzly's debt.
* ''Series/GraceUnderFire'': When (smart, sarcastic) Grace's ex-husband Jimmy (dumb) is telling their children what far away part of the States he's moving to, he uses his his body to represent the country. Grace quips "Don't ask him where Florida is." When one of the children asks where they are on the map, Jimmy places a hand on the right side of his chest and says they'll be there, right next to his heart. Grace moves his hand to the other side, "across the Mississippi," to which Jimmy replies, thanks, he was never good at geography.
* ''Series/{{Pixelface}}'': In "The Problems of Dr. Nigari", Kiki says that taking an exam is exactly like dancing because it's all about "planning ahead, knowing your next move, and wearing a spangly leotard".
* This line from ''Series/NCISLosAngeles'':
-->'''Callen:''' Sam sees the glass as half-full. I see the glass as half-empty; that's why we make such a good team. Kensi, on the other hand, drinks straight out of the bottle, Nate wonders why it's a glass and Eric usually breaks the glass by putting his feet on the table.
* On one episode of ''Series/{{Covert Affairs}}'', Henry Wilcox doesn't waste much time getting here. Quoth Henry, when informed of all the collateral damage his scheme caused: "You can't make an omelette without breaking a few skulls."
* ''Series/GetSmart''. ''A Tale of Two Tails'':
-->'''Max''': There's an old Chinese proverb that goes: Life is like a pair of chopsticks. You grab them, you, er... that's not it.\\
'''Max''': Life is like a shirt. If you lose your buttons, you...\\
'''Max''': Let's see, I've got it. Life is like a kumquat.\\
'''Agent 99''': That's it?\\
'''Max''': Life isn't a kumquat?
* In the ''Series/ParksAndRecreation'' episode "Born & Raised", Leslie goes on Wamapoke Public Radio, an AffectionateParody of Creator/{{NPR}}, to promote her book. The host then confuses her with a long metaphor.
-->'''Derry Merbles''': Leslie, could one say that a book is nothing more than a painting of words, which are the notes on the tapestry of the greatest film ever sculpted?
** Ron Swanson gives us a variation on the common "Teach a man to fish" metaphor:
--->''"Give a man a fish, and he feeds for a day. ''Don't'' teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man; fishing's not that hard."''
** In another episode, Leslie tells Ben why she included a write-in option in an online government poll, with unfortunate results:
--->'''Leslie:''' That's how democracy works! I'm not a dictator. If I were a dictator, I would throw the Douche in jail! I would be a very strong dictator, and you would be my bodyguard and the leader of my army...\\
'''Ben:''' I realize this is a serious situation, but thinking of you as a dictator is getting me really turned on: is that wrong?\\
'''Leslie:''' No.\\
''(They make out)''
* On the 21st season premiere of ''Series/WheelOfFortune'', Pat and Vanna were discussing at the end of the show just how long they had been hosting it. Pat then quipped, "It's like riding a bicycle: I'm all sweaty and my rear end hurts."
* ''Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'': Spock, trying to confuse some robots: "Logic is a little tweeting bird chirping in a meadow. Logic is a wreath of pretty flowers which smell BAD."
* An episode of ''Series/EightSimpleRules'' features the following exchange:
-->'''Paul Hennessy''': Thank you very much, Mrs. Connelly. I'm sorry for all this. It's just that, uh, you know, I'm a concerned parent. Father bear, as it were, and I just want the best for my little cubs so that one day they can spread their wings and fly.
-->'''Mrs. Connelly''': [[LampshadeHanging Yes, I too would like to see a bear cub spread its wings and fly.]]
* In season one of Supernatural, an argument between Dean and his ex-girlfriend got phorgotten:
-->'''Cassie:''' Whenever we get, what's the word, "close," anywhere in the neighborhood of emotional vulnerability, you back off or make some joke or find any way to shut the door.\\
'''Dean:''' Well, that's hilarious. See, I'm not the one who took that big final door and slammed it behind me.\\
'''Cassie:''' Wait a minute...\\
'''Dean:''' I'm not the one who took the key and buried it.\\
'''Cassie:''' [[LampshadeHanging Are we done with this metaphor?]]
* The ''Series/BabylonFive'' episode ''The Exercise of Vital Powers'' has Garibaldi arguing with Wade about whether or not he is going to put on a blindfold before his first meeting with their [[ProperlyParanoid seclusive]] wealthy employer, [[FictionFiveHundred William Edgars.]]
-->'''Wade:'''I ever tell you I have a master's in literature? Don't take it personal, but you don't seem the type. [[PlatonicCave Everything is illusion, Mr. Garibaldi]]. Concepts of language, light, metaphor. Nothing is real. Except this blindfold.
* ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'' features an instance of metaphysical metaphorgotten. In their first Q episode, in order to help Janeway understand the nature of the conflict shes judging, Q and Quinn agree upon a metaphorical representation of their home. That works fine. But in a follow up episode, the Q are at war, Voyager ends up visiting the Q Continuum which is represented as a battlefield with factions wearing the American Civil War era regalia. Q weapons are represented a muskets and shotguns. The metaphor breaks down when Voyager crew members are somehow able to pick up and wield these weapons and pose a real threat to the Q. Also, when Q is "wounded" by a Q-gun, Janeway treats the "wound" as though it were a normal human shotgun wound.
** The episode seems to suggest that humans in the continuum gain access to some of the Q's power, such as being able to use their weapons against them to lethal effect. Following this logic, Janeway's treatment of Q could be a metaphysical representation of her harnessing some other latent Q power to heal his injuries. Or, it could just be shoddy writing. YMMV, of course.
*** To be frank, ''Voyager'' seems to do this quite often. In the second episode of the show, "Parallax", they explain a highly complicated spatio-temporal problem by using a metaphor - and then ''solve the problem in the metaphor and then re-apply the metaphorical solution to reality''. Don't try this problem-solving strategy in real life, ''ever''.
* In ''Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir'' episode "It's a Wonderful Lie", Will's friend tells him about a party. His friend tells him he should be careful because he's not single anymore and there's going to be a lot of women.This trope happens when they have a verbal exchange involving a metaphor about bees:
-->'''Friend''': But be warned, there's gonna be females up in there. Girlies swarming like bees!\\
'''Will''': Let 'em swarm on, bruh, because I got the queen.\\
'''Friend''': Okay. But once the party starts buzzin', you gon' wish your stinger was free.\\
'''Will''': The honey is always sweeter at the hive.\\
'''Friend''': But you know bees got to go from flower to flower.\\
'''Will''': Oh yes sir, but once they start pollinating, then they...what had happened and...Look can we just talk please?
* ''Series/TheGoldenGirls'': Sophia's thoughts on lesbianism.
-->'''Sophia:''' Jean is a nice person. She happens to prefer girls instead of guys. Some people prefer cats instead of dogs. Personally I'd rather live with a lesbian than a cat. Unless the lesbian sheds, then I dunno.
* The ''Series/MadamSecretary'' episode "There But for the Grace of God" has one of Liz's staffers tell her there are conspiracy theories developing around the [[spoiler:Iran regime change attempt]] and that if it takes hold "you're gonna be spending way too much time talking the people off the ledge."
-->'''Liz:''' Well, we'll cross that ledge when we get to it.\\
'''Blake:''' Uh, Madam Secretary, I just got word that Senator Caruthers is on his way to your office. I told him you weren't available. He doesn't seem to care.\\
'''Liz:''' ''(to her staff)'' This is not the ledge. This is a thing before you get to the ledge, which is still a long way from the ground. [[LampshadeHanging I'm officially retiring this metaphor.]]
* ''Series/MalcolmInTheMiddle'':
-->"Women. They're just like the woods-mysterious. Full of wolves."

* From Music/TimMinchin's beat poem ''Storm'': "I'm becoming aware that I'm staring / I'm like a rabbit, suddenly trapped / in the blinding headlights of vaccuous crap."
* Bill Bailey revels in this in one of his songs.
-->"I was alone/my heart was cold it was a stone/my soul was lonely like a stone/there was no moss! And when I danced I danced alone/Except I did not dance because I was alone/so I did not dance."

-->"The snowflake on the eye of the deer/has turned to pus that oozes from an open wound./The deer now blinded stumbles into a ravine."
* Little Tin Frog's "Jennifer" includes the following gem:
-->"For a while, you were his style / But we all need a new haircut once in a while / Especially when your old haircut won't sleep with you."
* Whilst Wynona's Big Brown Beaver by Music/{{Primus}} consists of ''euphemistic'' metaphors, the entirety of the song seems to be an example of metaphorgotten:
-->Wynona loved her big brown beaver\\
and she stroked it all the time\\
She pricked her finger one day and it occurred to her\\
She might have a porcupine.
* Music/JonLajoie's "MC Vagina" persona is fond of this - in his case, the metaphor usually ''starts out'' nonspecific, vague, and blunt, and then moves right into non sequitur as he overexplains it.
-->My love is like lightning: it gives girls orgasms. My dick is like an airplane: it gives girls orgasms.\\
Yeah, the Eiffel Tower is a lot like my dick: it's big and it stings when soap gets inside the tip.\\
My lyrics are like the movie ''Film/DieHardWithAVengeance'': they're awesome... and Creator/JeremyIrons is a good bad guy.

[[folder:Pro Wrestling]]
* The origin of Wrestling/BryanDanielson and [[Wrestling/LondonAndKendrick Paul London's]] {{tag team}}, as London was inspired to find a partner after observing dolphin pods but then started ranting about swarms and how they were going to sting Wrestling/JoeyRyan and Scott Lost. When Danielson questioned this, London explained they were Hybrid Dolphins.
* What Wrestling/LioRush had to say about being matched up with the much larger Punisher Martinez in the semis of Wrestling/RoH's Top Prospect Tournament.
-->“At the end of the day, I will chop down the tree, kick his head off and go to the finals.”[[/folder]]

* A RunningGag in ''Radio/{{Nebulous}}'' is that the eponymous professor will take his {{Technobabble}} metaphors to breaking point and beyond. For example:
-->'''Nebulous:''' The whole of the universe is unravelling into a massive coincidence like a badly knit cardigan caught on the wire of coincidence. A whole sleeve has already gone, and now the collar's starting to unravel. Un-knit 1, un-purl 1, un-knit 1, un...I'm drifting..
-->'''Nebulous:''' Doctor Klench is a chap who came to a crossroads in life and took a turning marked evil. He put his foot to the accelerator and he's not stopping. Not for pedestrians, not for a picnic, not for a toilet break, not- I'm drifting.
** Interestingly, Professor Nebulous always ''realizes'' he's doing it, and stops himself with the remark, "I'm drifting."
* Frequently [[PlayingWithATrope played with]] on ''Radio/AdventuresInOdyssey'', since TVGenius Eugene interprets ''all'' metaphors as Metaphorgotten. For example, when he gets offended when his future father-in-law calls Katrina's engagement ring a "mere trinket."
-->'''Eugene''': ''Trinket''?\\
'''Mr. Shanks''': Now, no offense, Eugene, but let's call a spade a spade.\\
'''Eugene''': Frankly, Mr. Shanks, if I had given Katrina a shovel, then we could call a spade a spade.
* Almost all of [[http://www.isihac.co.uk/games/ostttoae/ostttoae-c.html Humphrey Lyttelton's explanations]] of how "One Song to the Tune of Another" works in ''Radio/ImSorryIHaventAClue'' do this, and the derail always ends the same way. For example:
-->'''Humphrey Lyttelton:''' Each member of a team is presented with a song from which the words have been omitted and replaced with the lyrics of a second song from which the tune has been discarded. Still not clear? Try to imagine you have two electric lamps but in one of the lamps the light bulb has failed. You could swap it over for the good one. It doesn't matter why one of them has failed, although it is almost certainly because you bought them cheaply from some dodgy market trader -- their light bulbs are certainly good value but they do have a habit of going out if handled badly -- they are not built to withstand rough treatment such as putting electricity through them. To be fair they probably work well enough where they come from, some sweatshop in Uzbekistan no doubt, where if the mains supply goes above 7 Volts they classify it as a power surge. Finally, in those places even a dead light bulb is considered something of a luxury compared with what they normally have. I know what you are thinking--what could possibly be more dim than a dead light bulb? At the piano we have Colin Sell.
* Marcus Brigstocke gives us the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HG75FAGmnkw Tax Cake]].
* Ryan Packer as played by Marcus Brigstocke in ''Radio/ThinkTheUnthinkable'' does this ''all the time'', usually in a way that leaves him accidentally insulting himself. For example, a "square peg in a round hole" metaphor ends with him asking the audience to think of him as a large round hole.

[[folder:Stand-up Comedy]]
* Creator/AzizAnsari has a bit on his special ''Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening'', talking about how a immigrant doctor friend of his was able to bypass the greencard process by going to Alabama, which is an "underserved" state.
-->''"I was like, whoa, that's kind of a weird deal. The government's like, "Oh yeah, you can come to the United States! C'mon, c'mon! Yeah, you, c'mon, c'mon!...''[[EvilSoundsDeep but you gotta go to Alabama]]''". It's kinda like a girl going "Yeah, you can see me naked, but you can only look at my left elbow. And my left elbow is racist."''
** Another one, from ''Dangerously Delicious'':
--->''"When does Harris play dirty in life? I can only think of one instance: It's when he's playing Halo. 'Cause as soon as the board starts, he always knows where the rocket launchers are, and he grabs them and starts blowing everybody up. It's fucked up, he does this shit every time, it's why I don't play Halo with him anymore. Now, I'm sure there's some people here that have never played Halo, and that doesn't make any sense, so I will give you an analogy, OK? It'd be as if you were playing Monopoly, right? And someone rolled a 10, and landed on Park Place, and Harris came in with a rocket launcher and blew everybody up."''
* Creator/EddieIzzard has a bunch of these.
** His bit about romance among beekeepers? "[[ILikeMyXLikeILikeMyY I like my women how I like my coffee]]... COVERED IN BEES!"
*** Earlier in the same sketch, "[[ILikeMyXLikeILikeMyY I like my women how I like my coffee]]... in a plastic cup."
** Followed later by "I like coffee hot and strong. Like I like my women: hot and strong. ...With a spoon in them."
** As well as another Izzard comment on beekeeping:
--->"My father was a beekeeper, his father was a beekeeper before him, and I wanted to follow in their footsteps. And those footsteps went like this: 'AAAAAAAAAAAH I'm covered in beeeeeees! HELP!'"
* Comedian Lewis Black on his ''Red White and Screwed'' tour would like you to share his outrage about Bill Clinton's marital infidelity:
-->'''Lewis Black''': Is oral sex adultery? Yes! There is no fucking question! If [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curling curling]] is an Olympic sport, then oral sex is adultery! And oral sex should be an Olympic sport! Why? Because it's harder than curling, and if you're any good at it, [[AC:you deserve a medal!]]
* The old Yakov Smirnoff joke, "Russian men have a saying: 'Women are like buses...' That's it."
* Michael Loftus compared marriage to apple pie like so:
-->''"And I ''like'' apple pie! I can eat a lot of apple pie. But after seven years of apple pie, apple pie, apple pie... I want to ''bang an Asian girl''."''

* From ''Theatre/PassingStrange'': "...They mimic the phallo-centric narrative of 'verse, chorus, verse, chorus, climax, fade out, smoke a cigarette, turn over, snore all night and never call me again--'"
** "You know, absence really does make the heart grow into a state of mind which somehow transforms what you once could not stand about your family into a somehow quaint pleasure-giving construct."
* The [[UsefulNotes/AbrahamLincoln other thing]] ''Our American Cousin'' is famous for.
* ''Theatre/CyranoDeBergerac'': The baker Ragueneau, obsessed with poetry, tries to combine poetry with cooking when talking to the cooks at his bakery. Of course, the cooks don't understand anything he says:
--> '''Ragueneau:''' ''(ceasing to write, and raising his head)'' Aurora's silver rays begin to glint e'en now on the copper pans, and thou, O Ragueneau! must perforce stifle in thy breast the God of Song! Anon shall come the hour of the lute!—now 'tis the hour of the oven! ''(He rises, and addresses a cook)'' You, make that sauce longer, 'tis too short!\\
'''The Cook:''' How much too short?\\
'''Raguenau:''' Three feet. ''(he moves further into the kitchen)''\\
'''The Cook:''' [[LampshadeHanging What means he?]]\\
'''First Pastry-Cook:''' ''(showing a dish to Ragueneau)'' The tart!\\
'''Second Pastry-Cook:''' The pie!\\
'''Raguenau''' ''(standing before the fire)'' My muse, retire, lest thy bright eyes be reddened by the fagot's blaze!'' (To a cook, showing him some loaves)'' You have put the cleft o' th' loaves in the wrong place; know you not that the caesura should be between the hemistiches? ''(To another, showing him an unfinished pastry)'' To this palace of paste you must add the roof... ''(To a young apprentice, who, seated on the ground, is spitting fowls)'' And you, as you put on your lengthy spit the modest fowl and the superb turkey, my son, alternate them, as the old Malherbe loved well to alternate his long lines of verse with the short ones; thus shall your roasts, in strophes, turn before the flame!
* Lampshaded in the "Ireland Reprise" from ''Theatre/LegallyBlonde'', where Paulette sings:
-->You go and fight for him!\\
''The Irish fear nothing and no one,\\
they keep fighting 'til everyone's dead!\\
I don't know where this metaphor's going;\\
I just felt that it had to be said.''
* For the ''Theatre/AvenueQ'' song "The More You Ruv Someone":
-->'''Christmas Eve''': Love!\\
'''Kate Monster''': ''Love!''\\
'''Christmas''': And hate!\\
'''Kate''': ''And hate!''\\
'''Christmas''': They like two brothers!\\
'''Kate''': ''Brothers!''\\
'''Christmas''': Who go on a date!\\
'''Kate''': ''Who''... [[DoubleTake what?]]
* Detective Bramley in the FracturedFairyTale‎ ''Film/{{Se7en}}'' [[Literature/SnowWhiteAndTheSevenDwarfs Dwarfs]] is a master of this:
-->"You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, and that's what White did. She smashed the eggs of crime to make the omelette of justice. Me, I just put the eggs in the pan still in their shells, and kind of bashed them around a bit without breaking them...you can't make an omelette that way, it's quite true...I just got sort of...hot eggs..."''\\\
''"You always were the sharp one, White! You were the knife cutting through the butter of crime, and I was...I was the spoon, still useful, but...not as good at cutting..."''
* Lampshaded in ''Theatre/{{Urinetown}}'', where Hope points out that the metaphor of "Don't Be the Bunny" is getting a bit strained:
-->'''Hope''': A little bunny at the tollbooth?\\
'''Cladwell''': You heard me.\\
'''Hope''': But, Daddy, bunnies don't drive cars.\\
'''Cladwell''': Oh, don't they?!
* Two examples appear in Gretchen's verse of "Meet the Plastics" in Mean Girls the musical:
-->"If Regina is the sun, then I'm a disco ball\\
Cause I'm just as bright and fun, if you've had alcohol."\\\
"Regina is the queen, but I'm the head of worker bees.\\
As I am seated at her right hand like a Jewish Princess Jesus."

[[folder:Video Games]]
* In ''VideoGame/RedDeadRedemption'' Edgar Ross attempts to explain civilization and outlaw behavior by using the metaphor of a man admiring a flower and shooting another man because ''he'' might not like the flower. Somehow, according to Edgar, it's a perfect metaphor, when he then goes on to tell John Marston that although the rules aren't perfect, they aren't so bad after all (like, the rule of you don't kill others just because they may not like the same things you like.) This only serves to confuse the hell out of John (and the player.)
* The ''Franchise/AceAttorney'' series does this periodically.
** In ''VisualNovel/ApolloJusticeAceAttorney'', [[IntrepidReporter Spark Brushel's]] metaphors are so convoluted that it's difficult to know whether they fall under this trope, MixedMetaphor, or something else entirely.
** In ''VisualNovel/AceAttorneyInvestigations'', [[TheRival Shi-Long Lang]] pulls out many wolf-related aphorisms that progressively make less and less sense, and eventually Edgeworth starts wondering what the hell he's talking about.
** Godot is also prone to doing this with coffee.
* Kang the Mad, a character from ''VideoGame/JadeEmpire'', is a master of this trope. When asked how he can remote control his flyer: "Well, it's much like [[CentipedesDilemma the dilemma of the centipede]]. If he relaxes and lets things happen, he can walk naturally all day long, his hundred legs not missing a step. But, if he thinks too hard about the complexity of what he's doing, those legs might crash into the teahouse and kill everyone. A valuable lesson." Whether or not he's doing it on purpose is debatable.
* In ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII'', one of Isabela's side conversations with Merrill about how she manages her SexyWalk:
-->'''Isabela:''' It comes to you. Usually at night. It's like a lover...or maybe a burglar. Either it ravishes you or makes off with all your jewelry. And you have to run it down and stab it in the heart. And...[[LampshadeHanging That metaphor got a bit away from me, didn't it?]]\\
'''Merrill:''' "I think it did, but it was certainly exciting!
* In ''VideoGame/BaldursGate'', Minsc says: "Lead evil by example, and one day it will no longer go tracking its great muddy bootprints across our lilywhite tiles of justice. Boo will have CLEAN WOOD SHAVINGS, you evil bastards!"
** And in the sequel, Minsc has this gem: "I trust those who prey on children no farther than they can be thrown, even if I manage to throw them pretty far, and throw them I shall!"
** In ''Baldur's Gate Enhanced Edition'', Neera explains her Art: "Casting wild magic is like... playing a flute by ear. I just kind of picked it up as I went along, doing what felt natural. In magical terms, I can play a pretty mean tune. But when I miss a note, the flute shoots fire at everyone. Also the flute sometimes turns me into a hamster."
* In ''VideoGame/NoituLove 2'', at the end of Xoda's Story Mode, the final Boss and our heroes talk about the Villain's evil plan. [[spoiler: Almond says it is playing God, but the villain retorts that they will [[AGodAmI become God]], and then goes back to the heroes' statement, pronouncing, proudly, something along the lines of "It will be Just like playing with myself."]]
* Fawful from ''VideoGame/MarioAndLuigiSuperstarSaga'' tends to alternate between this and his own brand of Engrish.
-->"Princess Peach's sweet voice will soon be the bread that makes the sandwich of Cackletta's desires! And this battle shall be the delicious mustard on that bread! The mustard of your [[DoomyDoomsOfDoom doom]]!"
* There's a pink Bob-omb in ''VideoGame/PaperMarioTheThousandYearDoor'', found in Herb T.'s Cola Bar underneath Rogueport, who really wants to be an informant like Wonky. Unfortunately for him, most of his "information" just turns out to be this. For example:
-->''"I know stuff too! Seriously! Like... Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Because, you know, then all the other baskets get jealous. I don't even like eggs!"''
* ''VideoGame/GhostbustersTheVideoGame'' has Egon's hilariously convoluted attempt at comparing the mandala that's causing all the ghost activity to a city bus line. Ray responds "You were going strong right up until the passengers got trapped inside the bus station."
* Garrus is sometimes guilty of this in ''VideoGame/MassEffect2''. His crowning moment, however, comes from the romance option with him.
-->'''Garrus''': You know me; I always like to savor the last shot before popping the heat sink.\\
''(awkward silence)''\\
'''Garrus''': Wait, [[ThatCameOutWrong that metaphor just went somewhere horrible.]]
** When Shepard tells Joker that he can turn EDI's sound off if he doesn't want to listen to her.
--->'''Joker''': That doesn't change anything, it's still watching! Like some creepy kid staring at the back of your head in a comp sci, you just want to punch him, but he's "special" and sets fires or something. Okay, a little far there, but you know what I mean.
** In his loyalty mission in ''VideoGame/MassEffectAndromeda'', Drack rather badly derails his comeback:
--->'''Araome''': I'm going to destroy everything you care about!\\
'''Drack''': Nothing's getting destroyed today, except for you! And your crew! [[OverlyLongGag And this entire place! And probably your boss!]] So there's a lot of things getting destroyed here actually, and all of them are yours!
* ''VideoGame/GrimFandango'' has this gem, courtesy of Glottis:
-->''"Manny, until now we scraped along the ground like rats, but from now on, we soar! Like eagles! Yeah, like eagles.. on POGO STICKS!"''
* ''[[VideoGame/MagicalVacation Magical Starsign]]'' gives us the easily missable "Right, so, space is like this big onion, ya see? You know, onions got lots of layers? Well, you start peeling those layers off, and all you get is tears. But we do it anyway! You can't stop peelin' the layers, or else you've got nothing to eat! You feelin' me, kid?"
* ''VideoGame/NanashiNoGame'', of all things, gives us one courtesy of Professor Ohyama:
-->''"We'll use the contents of the Yutani Shin record that you retrieved as a guiding light, so to speak. Like lighthouses, the famous beacons of the sea. One beam of light piercing through the darkness, guiding the many travellers who journey across the ocean-- Ah... I'm going off on a tangent again."''
* ''VideoGame/ValkyriaChronicles'' Largo loses his squad-mates when he gets a little incensed over the imperial blockade preventing vegetable shipments from getting through.
-->'''Largo:''' Vegetables are like bombs packed tight with all kinds of important nutrients! Kids gotta eat 'em to grow up right... and the body's practically made of vegetables!\\
'''Rosie:''' Which are like bombs...?
* In ''VideoGame/{{Touhou}} 12.8: Great Fairy Wars'', the Fairy Trio gives you this lovely little trinket at the end of the C-1 route:
-->'''Luna:''' We three together make one.\\
'''Sunny:''' Even if a single arrow breaks if you bend it, if you bundle three together...\\
'''Star:''' You'll run out of arrows three times as fast!
* HK-47 has one of these in ''VideoGame/KnightsOfTheOldRepublicIITheSithLords'':
--> "Theory: Imagine, if you will, that you are unique. The pinnacle of an exiled, cast-out Jedi who can't even use the Force. Imagine that no one has sunk lower than you. That you are truly the most miserable example of a Jedi ever. ... Now that you have that image, imagine this - someone clones you. Badly, I might add. They make the clones talk differently, rob you of any shred of personality, and take your Jedi Code and adjust it so that it is not really the Jedi Code anymore. They even change your pigmentation to a rather poor shade of durasteel, rather than the proper rusty red that inspires fear in targets. And of course, they refer to meatbags as "organics." Unacceptable."
* If you value your ability to think logically and avoid falling over in paroxysms of laughter, do not allow [[VideoGame/MetalGearSolid Otacon]] to attempt to explain proverbs. Here's a good example from ''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid2SonsOfLiberty'':
-->'''Otacon:''' Another Chinese proverb. "Those who look to the Heavens prosper, those who defy it are no more." Do you know this one? The meaning here is -- hold on a sec -- that you can only survive as long as you're a part of the natural order of things. You remember pre-ripped jeans? Manufacturers thought that just because people loved old, broken-in jeans, they would want to buy new jeans that looked old. So they purposefully--\\
'''Snake:''' What do jeans have to do with nature and order?\\
'''Otacon:''' Denim should fray and rip on its own, naturally. Right? Some designers tried to go against that, and -- no one bought them! The earnings report from that fiscal year is enough of a proof!
* ''VideoGame/{{Portal 2}}'':
** Cave Johnson has a notable metaphor regarding [[WhenLifeGivesYouLemons life giving you lemons]]...
--->'''Cave Johnson:''' [[spoiler:I've been thinking. {{When life gives you lemons}}, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! ''Get mad!'' I don't want your damn lemons! What the ''hell'' am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life's manager! Make life ''rue'' the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson ''lemons''! DO YOU KNOW ''WHO'' I AM!? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! ''[[CrazyAwesome WITH THE LEMONS!]]'' I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a [[MemeticMutation combustible lemon]] that BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!]]
** Wheatley also uses a few odd misguided metaphors:
--->'''Wheatley''': [[Literature/SherlockHolmes Holmes versus Moriarty!]] [[spoiler:Aristotle versus '''MASHY-SPIKE-PLATE!''']]\\
'''Wheatley''': I'm still holding all the cards, and they're ''all full houses...''
** In the prequel comic ''Portal 2: Lab Rat'', [=GLaDOS=] drops the following line to Aperture Science employee Doug Rattmann, whom she is trying to convince that her attempts to kill him [[BlatantLies are merely a schizophrenic delusion]]:
---> '''[=GLaDOS=]:''' I'd ask you think think outside the box on this, but it's obvious that your box is broken. And has schizophrenia.
** Also, from the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7rZO2ACP3A Perpetual Testing Initiative]] Update Promo, when Cave Johnson talks about the company's motto over footage of a production line:
--->'''Cave Johnson''': Do it from scratch. Spare no expense. And '''never''' cut corners. [-Well, that's a corner cutting machine, we obviously cut them there...-]
* Valve's writers seem to love these. From the ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2'' [[http://www.teamfortress.com/post.php?id=4013&p=1 site]], we have this
--> Some good questions. Good enough, anyway, that when we angrily confronted our writers with them, they got that look animals get when they're walking across a road in the middle of the night, headlights appear, and they realize they're about to lose their jobs.
* ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIV'':
--> '''Dervin:''' Yet know that for evil to triumph, it is enough that good men know not the masterworks of Lord Derwin, novelist extraordinaire.
* ''VideoGame/{{Borderlands 2}}'':
-->'''Handsome Jack''': ''This is so frustrating, you see this is what I don't get about you bad guys! You know the hero's gonna win, but you just don't die quickly! Example: This one guy in New Haven. City's burning, people are dying left and right, yada yada yada. This jackhole rushes me with a spoon. A FRICKIN' SPOON! And I'm dying laughing, right? [[CruelAndUnusualDeath So I scoop his stupid little eyeballs out with it ]] and his kids are all like WAAHHHH! And he's runnin' into stuff and... hahaha! And, oh... I don't know, maybe you had to be there. Anyway, the moral is you're a total bitch."
** Also the description of a sidequest:
--->''Revenge is a dish best served out of some sort of food cannon that shoots out the food with enough force to kill someone. Also, the food is poisoned.''
* In ''VideoGame/FalloutNewVegas'', if you report to Mr. House that you've exterminated the Boomers:
-->'''Mr. House''': There's more than one way to skin a cat, as the saying goes. Or ''went'', that is. Cats being extinct.
* Quoth Jasper the critic, in ''VideoGame/{{Psychonauts}}'', upon being asked if he hated a show so much, why didn't he just leave: "I just can't take my eyes off it! It's like watching the [[BileFascination scene of a horrible car accident]]... an accident where the victims can't act, and the paramedics forget their lines!"
* Laguna Loire was an ace at this in ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyVIII''.
* The description of the Burger Barn's "It Mustard Been Love" burger in ''Cake Mania 4: Main Street'':
-->Because as Jack says, "Love is like mustard: fiery... uh, pungent... and yellow. Maybe I need to give this a bit more thought..."
* In ''[[VideoGame/DawnOfWar Dawn of War II: Retribution]]'', the [[LargeAndInCharge massive, heavily muscled]] ork Kaptin Bluddflagg suddenly realizes that his metaphor for the slender Inquisitor's untrustworthiness is not as apt as he thought it was...
-->'''Bluddflagg:''' Dem Inquisishun humies can't be trusted any further dan dey can be thrown, which in dat one's case might be a bad example.
* Marina tries to talk Pearl down from her [[SoreLoser salt overdose]] after the Money vs Love Splatfest in ''VideoGame/{{Splatoon 2}}'', but does Pearl truly understand?
-->'''Marina''': The more money you spend, the less money you have. The more love you spend, the more you get in return.\\
'''Pearl''': So love is like the stock market? Got it.\\
'''Marina''': What?! That's not what I-\\
'''Pearl''': [[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain Don't forget, participants: your prizes are waiting for you in the Square!]]

[[folder:Web Animation]]
* ''WebAnimation/HomestarRunner'' has: "If I had to choose a word to describe myself, that word would be 'Fluffy Puff Marshmallows'. Or Homestar. Either one, really. They both fit!" Strong Bad's attempt to compare emails to fish also counts.
* ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation'': Given Yahtzee's love of strange metaphors, this trope was bound to show up occasionally.
** This comprises almost the entire ''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation at The Escapist'' [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOBTN67K0Zw preview movie]].
** His bizarre metaphors also extend to [[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/extra-punctuation the articles he writes alongside his reviews]]:
--->''(On the ''Mortal Kombat'' remake) "I've made no secret of my feeling that one of the biggest recurring problems in the games industry is a case of too many cooks spoiling the broth. Development teams being too big, perhaps the industry as a whole being too big, with none of the cooks taking any personal responsibility for the broth so you end up with a lot of gluey unseasoned broth that is just about inoffensive enough to be palatable to mainstream broth audiences but isn't exactly getting five star write-ups in Broth Monthly. And almost inevitably there'll be a few cooks who want to be able to pad their resume and perhaps one day join a better broth making corporation that will let them have creative control of the broth, so they put a lot of effort into polishing the carrots that are their sole responsibility, and then everyone feels like they have to make the carrots float to the top all the time and show off how well polished they are, but the broth isn't supposed to be about the carrots so I just get kind of put off by the way these carrots are being pushed in my face while I'm trying to enjoy the beef cubes and the radishes. I think this is already the best metaphor I've ever written."''
** It's also used during the review of ''VideoGame/SplinterCellConviction''.
** From the ''VideoGame/SaintsRow2'' review:
--->''"It's pure mindless fun, like wrestling an excitable dog in a paddling pool full of disembodied breasts. *beat* Don't think too much about that simile, I certainly didn't."''
** From the ''VideoGame/DarkVoid'' review:
--->''"I wonder if the Geneva Convention covers torturing metaphors."''
** From his ''[[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim Skyrim]]''
--->''"I'll applaud [''Skyrim'''s faults] if it means we can have less games that treat me like a child stuck in a pipe, games industry. I will applaud it as hard as you like. I will slap at my palms until my future children suffer masturbation guilt. No, I don't know what I'm on about. Go away."''
** From his UsefulNotes/{{Kinect}} Review:
--->''"And while I was able to deduce that the Microsoft Kinect would be a crap gaming system simply by using my magnificent brain, I recently picked one up anyway because Pope Urban VIII probably thought he was very clever when he condemned Galileo; but who got the last laugh there? Well, ''he did'', when Galileo died in poverty and dishonor. But what I'm saying is that I'm basically like the Pope."''
** From his review of ''VideoGame/GhostbustersTheVideoGame'':
--->''"Just like in ''VideoGame/GearsOfWar'', we'll need to be resurrected by an ally. So on top of all the aforesaid combat blindsiding issues, I have to break off the fight now and again to do the retard roundup. It's like keeping plates spinning, in the middle of a mosh pit... and the plates won't shut the fuck up."''
** From his review of ''VideoGame/AssassinsCreedIII'':
--->''"Hey America... people who live in glass houses... should probably get around to closing Guantanamo Bay one of these days..."''
** And from his review of ''VideoGame/InfamousSecondSon'':
--->''"Still, the range of elemental powers on display are pretty creative, although the word "elemental" is getting stretched like a mozzarella bumhole at the novelty sausage gala-- ''what am I on about?''"''
** From his review of ''VideoGame/QuantumConundrum'', when talking about the glove that lets you switch between alternate dimensions:
--->''"It's kind of like a glove-mounted cocktail dispenser except it alters the physical properties of things other than your own legs. There's the piña colada dimension, where everything is light and fruity; the Black Russian dimension, where things sit much more heavily and you start clutching your head complaining about your ex-wife; the absinthe dimension, where everything floats off into the sky to come crashing apocalyptically down the following morning; and the slow motion dimension, where this analogy kind of breaks down."''
* ''WebAnimation/FreedomToons'': "The Fable of Jordan Peterson" at one point parodies Jordan Peterson's use of archetype and metaphor to express meaning and life lessons.
-->'''Jordan Peterson:''' You think she's telling the truth? Yeah, sure. Just like Literature/LittleRedRidingHood, walking down a path to grandma's house... but then it turns out, it's not grandma... it's TheBigBadWolf... and he gobbles you up! ...and that's how you get UsefulNotes/NaziGermany.

* In ''{{Webcomic/Prequel}}'', the guardian spirit starts off its comforting speech to Katia by giving her the 'When life gives you lemons' speech.
-->'''Guardian Spirit:''' You see… Khajiit person… sometimes life gives you lemons. And when that happens… you need to find some spell that makes lemons explode, because lemons are terrible. I only ate them once and I can say with certainty they are the worst fruit. If life gave me lemons, I would view it as nothing short of a declaration of war.
* Used frequently in ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater''.
** Black Mage's examples are especially noteworthy as he has a tendency to derail his metaphors into him reveling in the memories of past atrocities, such as [[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2005/02/22/episode-518-iced/ here]] and [[http://www.nuklearpower.com/2010/02/16/episode-1220-hypothetical/ here]].
** [[http://nuklearpower.com/daily.php?date=010323 this]] ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater'' strip.
--->'''Black Mage:''' You can't make an omelette without...um...destroying a forest. Or something.
* ''Webcomic/AntiheroForHire'', when the main character is describing the battle between him and his enemies.
-->'''Dechs''': It's like a game of chess. It's their turn, and their strike can come at any moment from any direction, completely invisibly, and from multiple fronts all at once...\\
'''Wrench''': Um, have you ever actually played chess?\\
'''Dechs''': That's not important.
* ''Webcomic/{{Bobwhite}}'': Cleo's mom tries to tell Cleo that sometimes one can't really be in control of their own life. [[http://www.bobwhitecomics.com/?webcomic_post=20100628 Then she gets a little distracted.]] "Anyway... what was I saying? Something about how sexy your father is?"
* [[http://countyoursheep.keenspot.com/d/20100406.html This]] ''Webcomic/CountYourSheep'' strip.
-->'''Laurie''': Is that still a metaphor, or are you trying to tell me something?\\
'''Ship''': Just that it's not my turn to do the dishes.
* ''Webcomic/DinosaurComics'': T-Rex gets his metaphor deconstructed for him; its the second metaphor that's an example of this trope. Named in the RSS as "[[http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=2029 SOMETIMES your friends will ruin what you thought was a really great metaphor/relationship]]"
* ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive'' has this gem:
-->'''Justin''': It'd be like if an orange only liked other oranges and their orange partner got jealous of a bunch of old apples the other orange used to date.\\
'''Nanase''': ... what?
* ''{{Webcomic/Erfworld}}'': Prince Tramennis tries to talk some since into Duke Antium in [[http://www.erfworld.com/book-2-archive/?px=%2F2010-02-20.png this text update]]:
-->'''Tramennis''': You seem bent on spending your last moments in this world with your thumbs jammed into the thumbscrews of guilt, and turning them as hard as you can... which is impossible, I realize... but that analogy had a lot more promise when I started this sentence, and it seemed likely to end with a witty bon mot about screwing yourself. [[LampshadeHanging That didn't work out, did it]]? Nothing has, today.
* ''Webcomic/GunnerkriggCourt'': [[http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/archive_page.php?comicID=643 "Better to have loved and lost than to be... dead or something."]]
* ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}'':
** [[http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003039 "Here, stick this in your pipe and bleed to death slowly."]]
** [[http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=003677 Shit is basically flying off the hook. It's like shit wants nothing to do with that hook. The hook filed for divorce from that shit and is now seeking custody of the hook and the shit's two kids.]]
** [[http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004825 Foot-flowers]]:
EB: so... the smell is from a foot... but also from funeral flowers?\\
EB: this metaphor is confusing.
** [[http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005569 You forget the point you are supposed to be making.]]
* ''Webcomic/LeastICouldDo'' uses this occasionally, always played for laughs. One example [[http://www.leasticoulddo.com/comic/20070629 here]]:
-->'''Noel:''' Kate, I'm really sorry about this. He just followed me here. He's like a puppy...that you just want to strangle. And then neuter to protect future generations.
* Common in ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick''.
** [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0138.html This]] comic has:
--->'''Armourer:''' ...you can't make an omelet without permanently deafening someone.
** [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0421.html Elan's pre-battle pep talk]] contains a few.
** Elan's attempt at suggesting how the party [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0838.html mark their way through a bunch of canyons]].
--->'''Elan''': Can't we drop breadcrumbs like that story where they dropped breadcrumbs but the birds ate them all and they got lost and [[YouAnsweredYourOwnQuestion never mind, I get it]].
** It must run in the family... Elan's [[spoiler:father]] carries on the tradition.
--->'''[[spoiler:Tarquin]]:''' You can't make an omelette without ruthlessly crushing dozens of eggs beneath your steel boot and then publicly disembowelling the chickens that laid them as a warning to others.
* ''Webcomic/OzyAndMillie'' does this periodically.
** [[http://ozyandmillie.org/2008/05/28/ozy-and-millie-2086/ One example]]:
-->'''Avery''': What are you, some kind of a GrammarNazi?\\
'''Millie''': Yup. I just invaded Grammar Czechoslovakia and duped Grammar Neville Chamberlain, and now it's on to Grammar Poland and Grammar World Conquest! \\
'''Ozy''': Would this, ironically, make you an "analogy Nazi"?
** Also, [[http://ozyandmillie.org/2008/02/18/ozy-and-millie-2052/ Millie contemplates language]].
** [[http://ozyandmillie.org/2003/01/23/ozy-and-millie-1086/ Running for president is like ordering a pizza]].
** [[http://ozyandmillie.org/2004/10/25/ozy-and-millie-1338/ Democracy is like an ice cream cone]].
* ''Webcomic/PennyArcade'' also has its share of silly metaphors and analogies.
** [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2001/10/24 This comic]] has:
-->'''Frank:''' When you make an omelette, sometimes you've got to kill a few people.
** They take another crack at it [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2002/3/4/ here.]] Sometimes, the fruit is just fruit.
** And [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2009/8/19/ again]]-
--->'''Victim''': He beat me with a hammer until I went blind!\\
'''Police Officer''': You know what else is blind? Justice. But Justice didn't get beat with a hammer. Justice is always blind. That's regular for Justice.
** Sort of averted when Tycho angrily and sarcastically finishes Gabe's "When life gives you lemons" metaphor:
--->'''Tycho:''' I got out to get the mail, and a rabid dog mauls my other hand and face!\\
'''Gabe:''' You know what my mom used to say: "When life gives you shit," you just... Uh..."\\
'''Tycho:''' Make Shit-ade? What?\\
'''Gabe:''' Wait, it's coming to me.
* ''Webcomic/PicturesForSadChildren'' attempts to explain [[http://www.picturesforsadchildren.com/index.php?comicID=272 how time travel works]]:
-->'''Professor:''' Imagine time is a long corridor. At the end of the corridor there is a curtain. Are you with me so far? Behind the curtain there is a man. The man holds a black egg. A cat hatches from this egg. The cat screams with the voice of a man.
* ''Webcomic/QuestionableContent'' has fun with this from time to time. For [[http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=369 example.]]
** [[http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1426 This]] [[http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1427 one]] is even lampshaded.
* [[http://www.reallifecomics.com/archive/041206.html This]] strip from ''Webcomic/RealLifeComics''.
* From ''Webcomic/SaturdayMorningBreakfastCereal'':
** In [[http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=822 this strip]], we see how Metaphorgotten makes a poor confession strategy.
---> '''Woman''': "Steve, you and I...we're like apples and oranges. I'm the oranges, and the oranges are doing your brother."
** Also [[http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1502#comic this]] strip shows how being absent-minded in the middle of a metaphor can have traumatic consequences.
** [[http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=26 Son, a good woman is like a deep fried chimpanzee]]
** Also featuring [[http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1846#comic Overextended Metaphor Parrot]].
* [[http://www.sheldoncomics.com/archive/020819.html This]] ''Webcomic/{{Sheldon}}''.
* From ''Webcomic/SluggyFreelance'':
** There's:
--->'''Torg''': It is a giant elevator to Hell with ghosts in the gas tank!\\
'''Riff''': Elevators don't use gas tanks.\\
'''Torg''': Right, bad analogy. How about... It's an inverted toaster popping the bread of us onto the "two eggs up, and a side of bacon" plate of Hell! ''With ghosts in the gas tank!''\\
'''Riff''': [[NoOneElseIsThatDumb Well, we know Torg's not possessed.]]
** Or:
--->'''Torg''': Life is like a sandwich. Sometimes you eat it, and sometimes it eats you.\\
'''Riff''': What kind of sandwich are we talking about here?\\
'''Torg''': Pitbull salad sandwich.
* ''Webcomic/{{Spamusement}}'' [[http://spamusement.com/index.php/comics/view/144 tells us]] that life is like a coin: small, round, and 95% zinc.
* ''Webcomic/TheWayOfTheMetagamer'', [[http://wayofthemetagamer.thecomicseries.com/comics/pl/32804 here]], when discussing the ContinuitySnarl between the Literature/{{Discworld}} books Discworld/{{Pyramids}} and Discworld/SmallGods.
* ''Webcomic/HarkAVagrant'''s [[http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=300 take on Queen Elizabeth]] is this trope gone CrazyAwesome.
-->'''Queen Bess:''' My beloved people, I know that I have the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a ''king''... [[WingPull And the WINGSPAN of an ALBATROSS!]]
* ''Webcomic/TheAdventuresOfDrMcNinja''. On [[http://drmcninja.com/archives/comic/25p65/ this page]], Judy the gorilla smashes Dr [=McNinja=] ([[ItMakesSenseInContext disguised as Dr. McLuchador]]) into a tree, hard enough to shatter the tree. The AltText reads, "Make like a tree, and shatter into a million pieces."
* ''Webcomic/BetweenFailures'' has [[http://betweenfailures.com/comics1/898-sneak-attack this]] lovely gem:
-->'''Nina:''' It's like a tree lighting ceremony. Except there are two trees, and one wants to make sweet love to the other.
* Occurs in [[http://www.paranatural.net/index.php?id=231 this]] ''Webcomic/{{Paranatural}}'' strip.

[[folder:Web Original]]
* In [[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OV8aPR260jvacKN8GAHguOgvvGUOBeKBkBQ4D0EPZv8/edit?hl=en_US&pli=1 Lights, Camera, ACTION!,]] Roleplay/DestineEnormity's Aidric Carter has a problem with finishing his metaphors.
-->'''Aidric:''' The vents... *gestures dramatically* OF JUSTICE ...wait, that... doesn't work because it's a building of evil, so I guess it's... more like vents of sodomy and villainy and... *pause* ...okay, this is getting away from me now.
* This example from ''WebVideo/Lonelygirl15'' episode "Go For It :)", when Emma and Sarah are at the Grand Canyon:
-->'''Sarah:''' Welcome to the world's biggest metaphor. See, the, uh, cliff, it's like your power thingie (if it's real) and the canyon is your life, if you choose to accept it.\\
'''Emma:''' So you're saying I should jump?\\
'''Sarah:''' Um, bad metaphor.
* From Creative Juices' D&D PHB PSA's comes [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHDLCrItVyw Steven of Tyler's description of a dragon:]]
-->'''Steven of Tyler:''' Well it was this dragon! This goddamn dragon. As large as a.. as large as a tree. A tree that was at least three times a normal tree's height.
* ''WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries'' has a few.
** There's:
--->'''Joey:''' Remember, you treat a duel disk just like a woman. You fasten it to your arm and place trading cards inside it at regular intervals.
** Yugi's grandpa also gave us this disturbing example in a flashback:
--->'''Grandpa''': Playing card games is JustLikeMakingLove. You do it on a table, and you feel deep shame after it's finished. Also, the older you get, the less fun it is. So remember, always wear a condom when playing card games.\\
''[end of flashback]''\\
'''Yugi:''' ''[looking at deck]'' Hmm...I should probably wash my hands after using these.
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdH1ZEbnIms This YouTube video]] starts out with an apple and an orange representing two gay people who want to get married, and the potato representing someone who doesn't want them to do so. Then the guy says "But the potato is also a closet homosexual....," and turns the whole thing into a ShaggyFrogStory with fruit. And a potato.
* ''WebVideo/DoctorHorriblesSingAlongBlog'' has several examples.
** For example:
--->'''Penny:''' You're not really interested in the homeless, are you?\\
'''Dr. Horrible:''' No, I am, but... it's a symptom. You're treating a symptom while the disease rages on, consumes the human race. The fish rots from the head, so they say. So I'm thinking, why not cut off the head?\\
'''Penny:''' ''[pause]'' Of the human race?\\
'''Dr. Horrible:''' It's not a... perfect metaphor.
*** Arguably, he WAS talking about cutting the metaphorical head off of the human race (by overthrowing the government and society in general) but just didn't want to tip his supervillainous hand.
** In the same work, [[http://www.lyricsmania.com/lyrics/dr_horrible_lyrics_47211/other_lyrics_84276/everyones_a_hero_lyrics_831431.html the lyrics]] of "Everyone's a Hero".
---> '''Cpt. Hammer:''' It's not enough to bash in heads/You've got to bash in minds!
** And:
---> '''Captain Hammer''': It's curtains for you, Doctor Horrible. Lacy, gently wafting curtains.\\
''Dr. Horrible makes a sound that can only be described as a FlatWhat.''
* The Website/SomethingAwful article [[http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/sexy-body-metaphor.php "Girl. Your Body Is Like A Metaphor"]] is a series of metaphors that try to be compliments but all fall apart in strange ways.
* In ''WebVideo/VisionOfEscaflowneAbridged'':
-->'''Dornkirk''': (to heroes) Look, you can't bake a cake without breaking a few eggs.\\
'''Hitmoi''': Yes, you can. My grandma used to make me vegan cake all the time.\\
'''Dornkirk''': You can? Hold on a second.\\
'''Dornkirk''': (to Falken) Falken! Did you know you can bake a cake without breaking any eggs?\\
'''Falken''': Yes, my lord, yes you can.\\
'''Dornkirk''': Do you think that means we should stop killing people?\\
'''Falken''': No my lord, I think you just need a better metaphor.\\
'''Dornkirk''': Oh, right.\\
'''Dornkirk''': (to heroes) Look, you can't test cosmetics without killing a few bunnies!\\
'''Hitomi''': Yes! Yes, you can!\\
'''Dornkirk''': (to Falken) Falken! Did you know--\\
'''Falken''': Omelet, my lord.\\
'''Dornkirk''': Falken says you can't make an omelet without killing a few bunnies.
* In an episode of ''KlavinOnTheCulture'' about [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7stz35gN44#t=1m52s racism]], Andrew starts comparing celebrities to ''VideoGame/BioShock'' mutants and completely forgets where he was going with it.
* ''AudioPlay/WizardPeopleDearReader'' made extensive use of these. Professor [=McGonagall=]'s voice, for instance, is described as "chilling, like a piano made of frozen Windex".
* [[http://www.erikamoen.com/comics-portfolio/girlfuck/5/ "Vulvas are much like snowflakes.]] No two are identical and when it gets really cold they flutter down from the sky, getting caught in your eyelashes."
* Running gag at Website/{{Cracked}}. Some, but by no means all examples include:
** "Richard Lawrence blazed his own trail as the first person to attempt to kill a U.S. President while being crazier than a bag of agitated cobras injected with some sort of... crazy serum. For cobras."
** "Hollywood filmmakers like their women like they like their coffee: shrill, stupid and submissive. And usually not black."
** ''[Steve Bucholz on gay marriage]'' "On the Internet, people have gotten so gay for gay marriage, that things have even gotten a little gay, if you know what I mean. (Do you? I'm seriously asking. I've kind of lost track.)"
** [[http://www.cracked.com/video_18446_if-nature-documentaries-didnt-let-science-get-in-way.html This video]], a parody of science documentaries that get too carried away with their analogies, is made of this trope.
** From a Cracked article describing ''VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft'' [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-reasons-it-impossible-to-quit-world-warcraft like a girlfriend]]: "Over time, the relationship gets stale because you're just doing the same old shit. So you either call it quits or you grit your teeth and fight through it because the idea of finding another game to fuck is just mentally exhausting. And then one day you log in to find that it's gotten a boob job and lets you do anal. Wait, I think I got my analogies crossed somewhere."
** From [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/3-despicable-internet-behaviors-that-are-really-your-fault 3 Despicable Internet Behaviors (That Are Really Your Fault)]]: "The Internet allowed for the creation of a fast food version of information that's not particularly good for you but still triggers that same pleasure zone in the brain. You're essentially fattening yourself up with information obesity, because the news outlets, in the end, are businesses that know they can stay in the black by feeding you what you want as opposed to what you need. Meanwhile, reason and rationality rot like neglected teeth. Or maybe it's journalism that's rotting like teeth. I don't know anymore, that metaphor kind of got away from me."
** From an article about [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-to-be-thankful-when-glee-robs-you-blind/ Glee's theft of Jonathan Coulton's version of "Baby Got Back"]]: "It's like getting a [=PS3=] for Christmas and then suing your parents because they stole your song and didn't give you credit. Sorry, our analogy guy is on vacation."
** From [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-women-who-put-their-lady-parts-to-horribly-practical-uses_p2 7 Women Who Put Their Lady Parts to to Horribly Practical Uses]]: "Christie Harris was arrested after a drug-sniffing dog signaled to her car. A search found meth and a loaded gun. Christie may have been ready to go Thelma and Louise, only without Louise and with meth instead."
** From [[http://www.cracked.com/article_21183_6-unexpected-things-i-learned-from-being-drug-dealer_p2.html 6 Unexpected Things I Learned From Being a Drug Dealer]]:
--> When all drugs are lumped together, kids start to think of them as different flavors of ice cream, when in reality they're more like different species of snakes. Weed may be as harmless as a garter snake whose heart is filled with love, but meth is more like a king cobra whose venom sacs are filled with [[ShapedLikeItself meth]].
* WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd gives us this little gem:
-->If there's any game that puts you in a bad mood, it's ''[[VideoGame/CastlevaniaIIIDraculasCurse Castlevania III]]''. Putting this game in your Nintendo is like running open-armed out into a rainstorm of piss! You wanna go balls to the wall? Well, there's one way to go balls to the wall and that's to stick your dick in an electric outlet! You wanna play shit tennis with an orangutan while shoving your head up a hyena's asshole? Well, good luck.
* A fairly common occurrence, for somewhat [[RuleOfFunny obvious]] [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin reasons]], on [[http://www.overthinkingit.com/ Overthinking It]].
--> Occupy Wall Street is kind of like ''Film/{{Newsies}}'', only with less singing and dancing. And vastly different historical contexts.
* Josh Sundquist makes one of these in one of his vlog posts, "Hot Girl on a Silver Platter:"
-->'''Josh:''' A hot girl walks up and she's like "Here is a silver platter! I am ''on'' the silver platter! I am the sil-" I...I don't know, this metaphor's breaking down.
* The following exchange from episode 39 of ''Machinima/RedVsBlue'':
-->'''Caboose''': I know where you can find O'Malley! [[BodySurf He lived inside my helmet for a while]], maybe he left an address to send his mail. We were like roommates.
--> '''Sarge''': Sounds like he took some of the furniture when he left. And the carpet. And the drapes. And I wouldn't expect to get that deposit back, if you know what I mean.
* This Very Wiki, from the VitriolicBestBuds page.
--> Like a beautiful and delicate snowflake, no two friendships are alike. Unlike the beautiful and delicate snowflake, some friendships break out the flamethrowers in the face of this sickening sweetness.
* In ''Theatre/AVeryPotterSequel'' Ron attempts to cheer up Hermione, who's worrying that she's too much like Umbridge, by comparing her to Spider-Man. It's pretty clear that's not what he's really talking about when he mentions Spider-Man's 'enormous breasts.'
* [[LetsPlay Let's Player]] LetsPlay/{{raocow}} occasionally has these.
-->'''raocow''': "Sometimes, you just have to look a gift horse in the mouth and say 'What the hell am I look at here? I'm not a dentist.'"
* ''Fanfic/MyLifeIsAGoddamnMess'': "Social links are like Pringles. They come in a can and they don't taste good."
* This piece circulating around Website/{{Facebook}}:
-->A relationship is like a house. If a light bulb goes out, you don't buy a new house. You fix the light bulb. Unless of course that house is a lying whore. In that case you burn that fucker down and buy a better house with good light bulbs.
* The "[[Film/BackToTheFuture Doc Brown]] vs. Series/DoctorWho" ''WebVideo/EpicRapBattlesOfHistory'' episode has the parody of the Tenth Doctor do this in his typical manner.
--> Calm down, will you? Everything is going to be fine!
--> You're not going to tear any wonky holes in any fabric of space and time
--> Actually, it's a lot more like a rug really, well, never mind
* [[http://polyskeptic.com/2012/05/10/ginas-favorite-things-comic-book-science/ This blog post]] about comic book science contains a particularly glorious passage about how un-subtle infrared spectrometers are by comparing them to crude, drunken uncles.
--> I like the image of a loud, asshole IR spectrometer eating a mountain of mashed potatoes saying, “DID YOU KNOW THAT CARBON IS GAY? HE’S TOTALLY GAY.” And then everyone at the table says, “Yes, IR, we know. And since we are all made of carbon, perhaps we’re all a little bit gay…”
* WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic compares obscure Disney Afternoon cartoon ''Schnookums and Meat'' with its obvious inspiration, ''WesternAnimation/RenAndStimpy'':
--> '''Nostalgia Critic:''' It's like watching a kid dance well, and then another less-talented kid says he can do the same thing, and then ends up copying a terrible cartoon show.
** He also gives us this gem from his review of ''WesternAnimation/EightCrazyNights''
--> '''Nostalgia Critic:''' You know how with the Grinch, you kinda {{love to hate}} him? Well, Creator/AdamSandler movies are worse than cancer.
** The Nostalgia Critic is quite fond of these. Another example from his review of ''WesternAnimation/LittleNemo'':
--> '''Nostalgia Critic:''' This whole movie is like watching someone else's kid at Chuck E Cheese's. You're happy they are having fun at first, but soon you get bored by it. And when you realize you're stuck there for another hour and a half, you begin to hate that little kid, and his birthday. And Chuck E Cheese's. And the idea of celebrating birthdays altogether. I hope you're happy, movie. You got me to hate birthdays!
** In his ''Film/{{Catwoman}}'' review, when discussing how he is embarrassed to look at how the film turned out considering all the time it spent in DevelopmentHell:
-->'''Critic:''' It's like that kid that joins the football team even though he's like that big (holding his hand up to his chest) and you show your support anyway, but that turns out you shouldn't have because he's in the hospital with five fractured ribs and he's like, "Why'd you support me? Why'd you show your support?" and it's like "I don't know, I saw a movie where a woman sniffed catnip and it fucked me up!"
* Creator/{{Seanbaby}} loves these. For example, taken from a review of a video game version of Jenga:
-->'''Seanbaby:''' Buying a virtual version of Jenga is a lot like purchasing a video of a man making love to a fish; why pay to simulate something that you could actually do for less money and really shouldn't be doing in the first place? Maybe I'm getting lost in my own metaphor here, but I find it disgusting that all Jenga players simulate fish sex.
* Buzzfeed comedy writer and [=YouTuber=] [[https://www.youtube.com/user/zefrank1 zefrank1]] creates a series of videos called ''WebVideo/TrueFacts'' where he very loosely discusses facts about various types of animals, such as the octopus or the sea pig. His analogies and metaphors usually start reasonable and then very quickly go downhill.
-->'''zefrank1, regarding armadillos:''' ''...the armadillo is like a tiny gladiator, with only one weak spot: its entire belly. Yes, it can take a downward blow but is vulnerable to the leg sweep, or stepping on a tiny land mine, or falling into a pit of boners--all right, that doesn't exist.''
* ''WebVideo/JonathanPie'' is a spoof journalist who says what he's really thinking between takes. Inevitably he falls into this trope.
-->'''Pie:''' There's no point crying over spilled... Brexit... Tory majority...
* WebVideo/JonTron has one of these in his review of ''VideoGame/StarFoxAdventures''[[note]]the first anniversary of his [=YouTube=] channel[[/note]]:
-->Here I am, a whole year later, still truckin' along like a sack of potatoes on a long open road, wishin' he'd stopped for gas at the last rest stop, and then, on the interstate 12, he gets hijacked and murdered by a bunch of Quaker ghosts. [{{Beat}}] That haven't moved on from the war of 1723 - [[PrecisionFStrike ffffffffffuck]], [[LampshadeHanging what even-]]
** Another in his Turducken Chef video, again lampshaded:
-->Hey, if the sun don't rise in the east, then that ain't a beautiful filet. If the sun ''does'' rise in the east, then... [{{Beat}}] I don't know what kind of metaphor I'm goin' for here, what I'm tryin' to say is that's a ''beautiful bird.''
* [[https://www.gamasutra.com/view/news/237657/Postmortem_Failbetter_Games_Sunless_Sea.php This]] interview of ''VideoGame/FallenLondon'' and ''VideoGame/SunlessSea'' creator Alexis Kennedy, discussing how ''VideoGame/SunlessSea'' was Failbetter's first foray into full videogame territory after a career heavy on browser-based offerings:
-->''So although it wasn’t our first rodeo, it was… um… our first fish rodeo. I don’t really know how rodeos work. We don’t have them in the UK. This metaphor’s not working out.''
* In an episode of the podcast ''Reasonable Beef'' commemorating the tenth anniversary of ''Film/SpiderMan3'''s release, Creator/DomFera has this to say:
-->'''Dom:''' Dude, it's a letdown. It really is a letdown and it's heartbreaking and it's...they had a platform to dig deep man, they had a lot of threads--no pun intended--set up at the end of [[Film/SpiderMan2 that movie]], you know even Mary Jane y'know we end the movie not thinking it's HappilyEverAfter in the second one, we see MJ look off and be like "Fuck what am I gonna do?"\\
'''Jack Howard:''' Yeah ''Spider-Man 2'' ends like the fucking ''[[Film/TheGraduate Graduate]]''\\
'''Dom:''' Yeah, like "what have we done, what am I signing up for?" Then we don't see that shit at all! That movie--''Spider-Man 3'' is not an extension of the two movies that came before it. It's a fucking swerve off the road, off a bridge, [[ComicBook/DoctorStrange he breaks his hands, he can't do surgery anymore and then he goes to fuckin' Tibet and becomes Doctor Strange.]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* ''WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender'' gives us this gem:
-->'''Azula''': That's a sharp outfit, Chan. Careful, you could puncture the hull of an empire-class Fire Nation battleship, leaving thousands to drown at sea...because...it's so sharp.\\
'''Chan:''': Um...thanks.
* In a ''WesternAnimation/RobotChicken'' sketch about ''Franchise/GIJoe'' and the [[WeatherControlMachine Weather Dominator]], a retired Duke compares his experience being forced by Cobra to fight mute ninja Snake Eyes ("in a desperate attempt to raise concession sales") as "As if the Nazis put the war on hold to make Eisenhower fight a mute dude in a ninja outfit."
* From ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'':
** There's:
-->'''Homer:''' Son, a woman is a lot like a, um... a refrigerator. They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds... they make ice... umm... ''(spots his can of Duff)'' Oh! Wait a minute! Actually, a woman is more like a beer. ''(holds up the can of Duff)'' They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! ''(he proceeds to chug the whole can)'' But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman! ''(he gets up and pulls another can of Duff out of the fridge and opens it; cut ahead to several cans later, with a visibly drunk Homer)'' So I sez, "Yeah? If you want that money, come and find it, 'cuz I dunno where it is, ya baloney! You make me wanna ''wretch!"'' ''(he abruptly passes out, snoring)''
** And another time: "If horse racing is the sport of kings, then surely bowling is...a very good sport as well."
** And yet another time: "Son, don't rock the boat. Don't even get in the boat. Just buy some ice cream and walk around the pier. But don't use their bathrooms; they are ''filthy''.
** Still another time:
--> '''Shelbyville resident:''' [to Homer] You must be stupider than you look!
-->'''Homer:''' Stupider like a fox!
** When Lisa considers to disguise herself as a boy to do advanced math, and imagines being surrounded by numbers and math symbols:
-->'''≥ sign''': Do it Lisa! ''You'll be'' '''''greater than or equal to''''' ''boys''!
-->'''Number 8''': Even though you're only '''eight''' (flips over to side to become infinity sign) ''your possibilities are'' '''''infinite'''''!
-->'''Number 27''': ({{beat}}) Twenty-seven!
** Homer teaching a class at the learning center.
-->'''Homer''': A good marriage is like an orange. First there's the skin, then there's the sweet, sweet innards... (devours the orange)
-->'''Apu''': I don't understand.
-->'''Groundskeeper Willie''': If I wanted to see a man eat an orange, I would've taken the orange-eating class!
-->(cut to an [[StrangeMindsThinkAlike orange-eating class]])
-->'''Hans Moleman''': The eating of an orange is a lot like a good marriage.
-->'''Abe Simpson''': (slams fist on desk) ''Just eat the damn oranges!''
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' does this a lot.
** "Put Your Head On My Shoulder" has:
--->'''Fry:''' Amy, you know how you like chocolate, but then you get tired of it because it wants to hang out all the time?\\
'''Amy:''' Huh? You don't like chocolate?\\
'''Fry:''' Could chocolate let me finish?
** Also, from "The Beast with a Billion Backs", about Fry's girlfriend's other boyfriends:
--->'''Zoidberg:''' If there's a delicious cake, isn't it better to have one slice than none at all, even if four other guys eat the other four slices, and they're all thrusting their sweaty, naked bodies against the cake?
** Later in the same movie:
--->'''Fry''': I'm so madly in love with Yivo. I feel like a schoolgirl with a crush on Justin Timberlake, and then she moves into a giant house on his head.
** Also:
--->'''Zapp Brannigan:''' In the game of chess, you can never let your opponent see your pawns.
--->'''Zapp:''' "If we hit that bullseye, the rest of those dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate."
--->'''Kif:''' ''(Weary groan)''
** "Love and Rocket":
--->'''Fry:''' You can't date the ship, Bender! That would be like me dating a really fat woman, and living inside her, and she'd be all 'whoooosh!' (spaceship fight noises)"
** When the Professor is being taken away by robots for being too old, he gives the classic "Goodbye, cruel world!" as they depart. Then says goodbye to his "cruel lamp", followed by his "cruel drapes" with their little velvet tassels, "cruel though they may be."
** This example from "The Devils Hands Are Idle Playthings."
-->'''Bender:''' Though you may have to metaphorically make a DealWithTheDevil. And by "Devil" I mean "Robot Devil", and by "metaphorically", I mean "get your coat."
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Freakazoid}}'' has a few.
** There's this gem:
--->'''Freakazoid:''' Duty calls! Hello, Duty! I'm coming!
** Which is followed up later in the season by this joke:
--->'''Freakazoid:''' It's time to face my destiny! Hello, Destiny! I was just visiting your friend, Duty! He says very bad things about you!
* ''WesternAnimation/TheTick'' ends practically every episode veering off into one of these. This is also the origin of his battle-cry, "Spoon!".
--> '''Tick:''' Thank you for teaching us all that love is thicker than most bodily membranes. But not quite as sticky. And that a heart full of love is better than a body full of people. Merrilly, the feet that carried us on the heart's path today will be the feet that soak in the steaming brew of happiness tomorrow.\\
'''Tick:''' You know, when a tomato grows out of your forehead, it gets you thinking. What do we know about anything? Life is just a big, wild, crazy tossed salad, but you don't eat it. No sir. You live it!
* From ''WesternAnimation/{{Chowder}}'':
-->"You see, Chowder, food is like life. And sometimes we bite off more life than we can chew. And then we're just puking life all over the walls, the ceilings, the expensive carpets..."
* ''WesternAnimation/RubyRocketPrivateDetective'' is based on this trope, particular its relationship to stereotypical noir-speak. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9P9I9CN7Ww Example here.]]
* From ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'':
-->'''Peter''': Forget it Lois, your brother is toast! ''Warm, buttery toast''.\\
'''Fat Guys''': mmmm....
** In one episode, Peter wins a trip to a brewery and remarks "It's like I died and went to heaven. But then they realized that it wasn't my time, and so they sent me back to a brewery."
** A metaphor slowly degrades when Peter goes on ''Blind Date'' in an early episode:
-->'''Girl''': I'm an ice cream cone; how are you gonna eat me?\\
'''Bachelor 1''': I'd invite my friend Rudy over and we'd give you a double dip!\\
'''Bachelor 2''': I'd lick off all the cream and give you my special whipped topping!\\
'''Peter''': Well, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint I'd try to eat you really fast before I got flaccid.]]
** Peter ruining Lois' production of ''Theatre/TheKingAndI''
-->'''Peter''': ''"Theater is a living breathing creature! It has wants and needs and you're not man enough to satisfy her!"''
** In "Be Careful What You Fish For", Peter mentions that he's figured out how to kill two birds with one stone. He pulls out two baby birds and a rock and uses the rock to crush the birds simultaneously, then comments "The key to that, Lois, is big rock, small birds."
* ''WesternAnimation/TheVentureBrothers'':
** There's:
--->'''Phantom Limb:''' Revenge, like gazpacho soup, is best served cold, precise, and merciless.\\
'''The Monarch:''' Yeah, you can never have too much precision in your soup.
** Mr. Doe and Mr. Cardholder are also fond of using this trope, frequently rebounding the metaphor off each other until the original intent is unrecognizable.
--->'''Mr. Doe:''' That's a joke.\\
'''Mr. Cardholder:''' Regular cut-up.\\
'''Mr. Doe:''' Should give him a reality show.\\
'''Mr. Cardholder:''' I'd watch it.\\
'''Mr. Doe:''' I'd watch it twice.\\
'''Mr. Cardholder:''' Even if Flava Flav was in it.
* Professor Frank, of Brad Neely's ''WesternAnimation/TheProfessorBrothers'' series, often delves into these. At a prospective TA interview:
-->"I don't know, little dawg. Maybe we'd better all start learning and loving martial arts, because after the bombs drop, and it's us against us, and we all wished with our terrible-smelling last breaths that we had those warm fur coats, and we're all going around hissing and kicking at each other and trying to trap rabbits so we can crack their heads, just like all the Lennies used to do that we used to protect them from! I mean, who's going to survive that shit, Gabe??
* ''WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants'' has this gem in "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy VI: The Motion Picture": when [=SpongeBob=] starts to despair about his lack of movie-making skills, Mermaid Man tries to cheer him up thusly:
-->'''Mermaid Man''': Listen kid, this reminds me of Episode 902. We were surrounded: the Kelp Thing was to our right, and there was broccoli on the side. But if there's one thing I remember, it's how to forget! The rain in Spain stays mainly on the... SPACE! The final countdown! Skip to the... skip to the... loo, my darling! Loo! *dramatically collapses in [=SpongeBob=]'s arms* Now get out there, and let's finish this movie, kid.
** He also does this in his debut episode, when his plea for [=SpongeBob=] to leave him alone ends up turning into a marriage ceremony.
--->'''Mermaid Man:''' Listen up, you villains, I wanna eat my meatloaf! If you don't get out of here, then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife!
--->'''Orderly:''' ''[bursts in]'' What is going on in here?!
--->'''Mermaid Man:''' ''[pointing to [=SpongeBob=]]'' You may kiss the bride!
--->''[[=SpongeBob=] is rolled out of the retirement home and all the way to his house]''
--->'''Patrick:''' Did you reunite our heroes?
--->'''[=SpongeBob=]:''' No, but I'm married.
* ''WesternAnimation/DarkwingDuck'' was a ''master'' of this. It was part of his introductory schpiel. "I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the [silly metaphor taken too far and in too much detail relating to how he stops evil]! I am DARKWING DUCK!
* Music/{{Gorillaz}} interviews pull this card from time to time, like in this little exchange from "We are the Dury":
-->'''Murdoc''': I mean, it can be very distracting to have six or seven decomposing zombies stuck up your chimney flue. \\
'''2D''': [[ComicallyMissingThePoint We've got a chimney flue]]? \\
'''Murdoc''': I'm speaking metaphorically, 'D. I'm using the analogy of a chimney flue to describe the, uh, passages of our flowing creativity, and the zombies in this case are used as a metaphor, as in blockages to the airway. Figuratively speaking. \\
'''2D''': Really? \\
'''Murdoc''': No. There really are about six or seven undead carcasses stuck up the studio chimney. \\
'''2D''': Oh, well, uh... that explains the smell, wouldn't it?
* ''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad'':
** In the episode "Star Trek":
-->'''Steve''': Creative writing is hard, I can't do it.
-->'''Stan''': ''Can't?'' We don't live in Ameri-'''''can't''''', Steve, we live in Ameri-'''''ca'''''. No, no wait, we live in Ameri-'''''can'''''. No, wait, that's not right, we are Ameri-'''''can'''''. Where was I going with this? '''[...]''' If I Ameri-'''''can't''''' teach you about it, I have a friend who Ameri-'''''will'''''.
** In the same episode:
-->'''Roger''': Sorry pal, you're going to jail, where they're gonna take your cherry ({{beat}}) jello away... in the lunch line... after you're raped in the showers.
** In "Meter Made";
-->'''Stan''': Francine finally had what she wanted. She was married to a somebody, and she was enjoying a taste of the good life. Unfortunately, I didn't count on her having an appetite. The appetite of a good life elephant. ''...does that make sense?'' It doesn't need to, I was a meter maid.
* In an episode of ''WesternAnimation/PhineasAndFerb'', the title-characters decide to act like they're in a film noir for the day, and many of the parody narration sequences drift into this territory.
--> '''Phineas''': The sun beat down on the city like a hammer. A relentless, hot, beating hammer hammering down like a big metaphor that was....hot...for some reason.
--> ''' Candace''': Stop with the narration!
** In "Misperceived Monotreme", Dr. Doofenshmirtz delivers this gem when confronting what he thinks is Perry but is really just an ordinary platypus:
--->'''Doofenshmirtz:''' Oh, I see what you're doing. You're messing with my head, trying to get into my mind, walk around in there, rearrange the furniture, maybe repaint the kitchen...
* The PBS show ''WesternAnimation/WordGirl'', an affectionate parody of its own genre, has this immortal line when the titular character catches one of the main villains [[FelonyMisdemeanor robbing an ice-cream truck]].
--> '''[=WordGirl=]:''' The only ice cream ''you'll'' be eating is the ice cream of JUSTICE! [[{{Beat}} *beat* ]] ''(just as heroically)'' ...That sounded ''better in my head!''
* Daffy is sometimes guilty of this in ''WesternAnimation/TheLooneyTunesShow''.
** The ''Merrie Melodies'' segment "Giant Robot Love" is an extended version of this in song, as Daffy attempts to compare being in love to a giant robot.
* From an episode of ''WesternAnimation/TaleSpin'':
-->'''Molly:''' What's snow?
-->'''Wildcat:''' ''(holds up a bowling ball)'' Ya see this?
-->'''Molly:''' Yeah.
-->'''Wildcat:''' Well it's... completely different.
* One ''Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus'' cartoon segment involves nested advertisements: A brand of toothpaste is symbolized as a car out-racing another car, which is of course why motorists recommend a certain brand of oil, whose superiority is in turn demonstrated with white and black cards moving around the screen...
* Amber in the ''WesternAnimation/SofiaTheFirst'' episode "Two to Tangu" (partly subverted in that her statements were based on actual events):
-->"This is what happens when you try something new. You end up lost in a strange kingdom picking dates out of your tiara. And then your flying carpet runs away from you."
* Scott, the villain of ''WesternAnimation/TotalDrama Revenge Of The Island'':
-->"I feel like I'm a [[PsychopathicManchild kid in a candy store]], filled with suckers! And I'm gonna... Uh... I'm gonna... [[ChaoticEvil Like, break 'em and stuff]]!"
* The titular character of ''WesternAnimation/MiloMurphysLaw'' is prone to this:
--> '''Milo:''' Well, people have used [[TheJinx the "j" word]]. But you know what they say: "Sticks and stones can damage your vital organs, so always wear body armor."

[[folder:Real Life]]
* OlderThanFeudalism as it is warned against in one of the oldest books dealing with tropes, Quintilian's ''Institutes of Oratory'' (ca. 95 CE):
-->''It is all-important never to mix your metaphors, for there are many orators who, after beginning with a tempest, will end with a fire or a falling house, with the result that they produce a hideously incongruous effect.''
* The ''[[http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/linkset/2005/03/25/LI2005032501843.html Style Invitational]]'' column in the Washington Post [[http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/16/AR2007031600802.html twice]] [[http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/16/AR2007031600738.html challenged]] its readers to submit "painfully bad" analogies. Notably torturous entries included:
-->''Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 PM traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 PM at a speed of 35 mph.''
-->''John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.''
* Tim Schafer is really good at this. Since this is really long, just click [[http://v2.razputin.net/index.html@page=razputin%252Ffeatures%252Ftimwords.html here]] and read the first question and answer.
** He does it again when [[http://www.doublefine.com/news/comments/broken_age_playable_for_backers_now_preorders_open_for_non-backers/ talking about going back to the point and click adventure genre after so many years]].
-->Coming back to the genre has been like finding an old jacket in a box in your garage that you haven’t worn in twenty years, but once you shake the dust off and put it on you realize it's an amazing jacket and it still fits, and once you patch the holes in the pockets it could easily take a spot in your main jacket rotation.

-->Oh, and also, in one of the pockets was three and a half million dollars.
* Entries for the [[http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/ Bulwer-Lytton]] fiction contest frequently contain these. As do Literature/LyttleLyttonContest entries.
** For example the 2003 winner:
-->They had but one last remaining night together, so they embraced each other as tightly as that two-flavor entwined string cheese that is orange and yellowish-white, the orange probably being a bland Cheddar and the white ...Mozzarella, although it could possibly be Provolone or just plain American, as it really doesn't taste distinctly dissimilar from the orange, yet they would have you believe it does by coloring it differently.
* Famously:
--> UsefulNotes/GeorgeWBush: "Fool me once, shame on...shame on...you? Fool me, ya can't get fooled again."
* John [=McCain=] dropped his analogy right in the middle of saying it when asked if UsefulNotes/BillClinton was an appeaser towards North Korea:
--> [=McCain=]: If it quacks like a duck, and walks like a duck, it's appeasement.
* To quote a gem from a 2011 article on the bankruptcy of Borders Group Inc.:
-->“The superstores were viewed by the independent bookstores as dinosaurs that came to kill them — and they did,” said Al Greco, a book publishing expert and professor of marketing at Fordham University's Graduate School of Business Administration. “Today, it looks like the [[ArtisticLicenseAstronomy big bang]] has hit and now the dinosaurs are in peril.”
* [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociated_Press Dissociated Press]] is a way of generating reams of metaphorgotten prose.
* German Communist Thälmann (active during the UsefulNotes/WeimarRepublic) was infamous for this. One of his (translatable) goofs: "The hour of the moment has arrived!"
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jqNXphenus Jon Stewart's tribute]] to Music/BruceSpringsteen at the Kennedy Center Honors; "I believe that Bob Dylan and James Brown had a baby. Yes! And they abandoned this child...as you can imagine at the time...interracial same-sex relationships being what they were..."
* An [[http://manboobz.com/2011/09/19/christian-j-wins-the-gold-in-the-incoherence-olympics/ online commenter]], explaining how vaginas are a valuable commodity:
-->"The girls, of course, have been trained to think that they can get away with just about anything as they possess the magic “V” which has a very high trading component as well as a social exchange rate, not unlike the Euro or an open ocean oil exploration license, but the magic “V” is more mobile and comes with its own carrier and operator, batteries not included, though."
* This is the idea behind the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%27Pataphysics#Pataphor pataphor]], which is as far removed as metaphor as metaphor is from non-figurative language, in analogy to 'Pataphysics being as far removed from metaphysics as metaphysics is from regular reality. The example quoted on the Wikipedia page demonstrates this very effectively:
-->"Tom took a step closer to Alice and made a date for Friday night, checkmating. Rudy was furious at losing to Margaret so easily and dumped the board on the rose-colored quilt, stomping downstairs."
* German politician Edmund Stoiber is infamous for this. Plenty of Youtube videos are dedicated entirely to his derailing metaphors that start weird and [[UpToEleven go from there]].