Jean: "And it doesn’t stop there... We even do it in public places! We’ve fucked in storage rooms at school, the locker room, the lounge, and even the danger room!"
— My Friend, my Lovernote Jean is being confronted by her friends after Rogue has glimpsed her and Scott coming out of the school weight room, and delivers a Too Much Information barrage when they become too insistent.
Traditionally, most people tend to have sex in bed. It's comfy, you're usually already undressed and you can go straight to sleep afterward. Chairs and sofas are also popular, they're soft and comfy and have the bonus that the person on top can put more of their weight on the frame. However, some people, for a multitude of different reasons, like to venture further afield for their intimate moments. All over the house, in front of the house, on top of the house, someone else's house, in every gas station, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in this area (and every highway checkpoint within ten miles), in the pool, on a plane, on a train, in an automobile, in a hotel, in a motel, in a restaurant, in a movie theater, on an elevator, in a bathroom, in a basement, in an attic, at the beach, in the sea, up a tree, in the middle of a field, in the middle of the road, in the middle of the Super Bowl Halftime show, even In Space! (God will kill a kitten if anyone edits this paragraph to quote Green Eggs and Ham). Even with Green Eggs and Ham!
... with a goat, on a boat, in the rain, on a train...
Maybe they think that the old bed is too boring, maybe they don't have a convenient bed and have to do it where they can, maybe they're just so eager to get started that they get down to business wherever they find themselves. Maybe it's their way of getting back to nature. Of course one of the other advantages of bedrooms that might not be afforded by alternative locations is privacy, but that's OK. It could be the thrill of the risk of getting caught that makes it special. Or maybe it's not just the risk, maybe they like being watched. Then again, maybe they just didn't think things through and end up as Naked People Trapped Outside. And sexy teens having sex in the back of their car are known to attracthook-handed serial killers.
Obviously Truth in Television for the most part, so please refrain from noting "people do this in real life!" here.
Not to be confused with Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places, certainly. Unless the person who does that likes having sex outside, yeah.
Here are some reasons not to do itabsolutely anywhere.
It's a very common trope so once a section has enough examples it might be worth spinning off as a subtrope.
In one episode of How I Met Your Mother, Marshall and Lily celebrate Ted's absence by having sex in every place they can think of in the apartment. However, they realize halfway through that they miss Ted and are bored.
When Marshall plans to propose to Lily, Ted begs Marshall not to celebrate the engagement by having sex with her in the kitchen. They do it anyway.
In Love Actually widower Daniel tells his son that he plans to do this if he meets the right woman:
Daniel: Unless, of course, Claudia Schiffer calls, in which case I want you out of the house straight away, you wee motherless mongrel.
Daniel: No, no, we'll want to have sex in every room. Including yours.
Music example: Poe in "Not A Virgin" sings about having sex in a variety of places, including "underneath the table in [her] living room."
And, of course, Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon. On the bed, on the floor, on the towel, by the door, in the tub, in a car, up against the minibar...
Another Music Example: There's implied kitchen sex in Warrant's "Cherry Pie"
Literature example: Lux in The Virgin Suicides sneaks people onto her roof for sex, to the fascination of the narrators.
Pool/snooker tables seem rather popular, either for the large flat surface or just the opportunity for "balls" jokes and phallic imagery.
In the Friends episode "The One with the Flashback", when Ross is distraught over finding out that his wife is a lesbian, he almost ends up having sex with Phoebe on a pool table. However, the moment is ruined because of the location ("Stupid balls are in the way.")
In Murder at 1600, the victim has sex with the President's son in the Oval Office shortly before getting murdered. Later on, it is mentioned that the President's son seems to be trying to get laid in every single room in the White House.
In Fatal Instinct, the title character and his later stalker have sex in quite a few places in her house - including the inside of her refrigerator.
Bathtubs, particularly the large Whirlpool variety.
Parodied in an episode of The Simpsons, where Homer and Marge try this as a means of rekindling their love life but discover the tub is barely big enough for both of them to squeeze into, let alone get into an intimate position.
This is the subject of a joke in which a child overhears his father telling his mother in the kitchen "I'm gonna eat this pussy". The kid misinterprets it and takes his cat to school.
In an episode of Scrubs, when Keith is moving in with Elliot, they have box sex, where they're having some form of coital activity with each other in different moving boxes.
Subverted in My Family except they kept finding reasons not to have sex in certain rooms and did it in their bedroom instead.
In the movie Prime, Rafi tells her therapist "we have had sex on every surface of my apartment."
In Stripes, after a few seconds of a seemingly empty bedroom, the storage trunk at the foot of the master bed opens and John Winger (Bill Murray) and his new MP girlfriend climb out. 'Nuff said.
Chuck and Sarah have apparently used multiple storage rooms and other facilities in Castle for decidedly non-spy activities.
In Katawa Shoujo, while the major part of the sex scenes take place in the school grounds, the first sex scene with Lilly Satou happens in the living room of the Satou family's summer house in Hokkaido. Since it only has two bedrooms and their common friend Hanako is with them, Hisao has to sleep on a futon; Lilly visits him to talk about their recent mutual Love Confession, they start making out, and one thing leads to another.
They also subvert the typical "bath tub sex" scene the morning after: they do get into the hot tub and fondle each other, but for the actual sex act, they get out and do it on the floor, next to the tub.
In another episode the family notices little things wrong around the house, and Cotton keeps insisting someone is sneaking in. The others think he's crazy, but Cotton eventually discovers that their neighbors, Kahn and Minh, are actually sneaking in and roleplaying as Hank and Peggy for cheap thrills. Kahn also alludes to having done it in the library reading room.
The page image comes from Rooster Teeth Comics, where Griffon and Geoff discover to their horror that while Gus housesat for them, he and his wife Esther had sex all over their house, kindly marking every spot with the orange stars. Including on their leftover pizza.
Sex In The City
Truth in Television: Numerous celebrities, most famously George Michael, have been caught engaging in "cottaging", or meeting up with gay men for sex in public bathrooms. Michael used this... "experience" as inspiration for his song "Outside", which is quite the lampshade on the trope as a whole.
Some Gay Bars could charge rates for their handicap stalls.
The song "The Bagman's Gambit" by The Decemberists, about a man who falls in love with a con woman:
And I recall that fall / I was working for the government / and in a bathroom stall off the National Mall / how we kissed so sweetly / how could I refuse a favor or two?
The lyrics don't specify whether the singer's paramour is male or female. It would be somewhat easier for them to meet in a bathroom stall if they were the same sex.
Briefly mentioned in Digital Underground's "The Humpty Dance" - "I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom".
In the first episode of Coupling, Steve and Jane have sex for the last time in a bathroom stall.
A common thing in Hentai anime and manga: couples going at it inside an automatic photo-taking booth, which will naturally end up taking pictures of their fun time inside it.
In the Friends episode "The One with the Blackout", the characters discuss the weirdest place where they had sex. For Monica, it's a pool table, for Joey, "the the women's room on the second floor of the New York City public library", and for Ross, Disneyland, near the "It's a Small World" ride. (Phoebe's is Milwaukee)
In the episode "The One with Ross's Library Book", Ross finds out that students have sex the corner of the university's library where his book is placed, because nobody goes there.
In the episode "The One Where Phoebe Hates PBS", Chandler and Monica have sex in the storage closet in Central Perk.
When Joey was on Pyramid an answer was cafeteria, the clue he gave was a place in school he had sex, his partner said the football field. He was right, but it wasn't what they were looking for.
When Rachel was having Emma, Monica and Chandler snuck into the hospital's broom closet. They then get caught by Monica's father and explain that they're actually trying to conceive. He is actually thrilled by this and starts giving them pointers. But they weren't there anymore!
Woody Allen's Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex has a segment on frigidity played as a mock Italian movie where Woody and his wife find she can only enjoy sex in public places. They manage to live with it.
In one episode of Hearts Afire, the protagonist couple has to have a moment in a department store dressing room because they're entertaining too many houseguests at home for them to have any alone-time.
They also made love in their boss's office. He promptly walked in on them, followed closely by C-Span cameramen.
In an erotic comic by Horacio Altuna, a young couple has no place to go, so they have sex on various public places, such as an art gallery, a book shop or a phone booth. When they eventually rent an apartment and get married, the guy is unable to perform in a bed, and they have to go out again.
In the film adaptation of Kick-Ass, Dave and Katie have sex in an alley.
Geier of Orderly Chaos supposedly has a thing for sex on rooftops.
It'd be harder to come up with a list of out-of-the-way corners where people haven't had sex in the casino on Las Vegas.
At the close of In the Next Room, or the Vibrator Play, Dr. Givings and Catherine disrobe and do it on the street in the snow.
Spike and Anya have sex on the table in the Magic Box shop in season 6 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer...and get caught on camera doing it.
Sims in The Sims 2 can woohoo in changing booths, inevitably attracting an audience; in The Sims 3 they can do it in various buildings around town.
Investigating a restaurant chef's murder, the CSI: Crime Scene Investigation team found evidence of semen in the kitchen. The murderer later admits she'd caught her boyfriend having sex with the victim in the pantry.
Aura (a pre-Girls Lena Dunham) and bad boy chef Kieth have sex in a giant steel pipe on the streets of New York in Tiny Furniture. It turns out to be more depressing than hot.
In Crank and its sequel, Cheelios and his girlfriend have sex in public to keep him alive.
Love On The Move
One episode of CSI: New York featured a woman who preferred bungee-jumping-sex. More than once, with more than one partner within the episode.
In Out Cold, when Majors prepares to take ownership of the resort in a ceremony attended by his investors, he unveils a mock-up of one of the new gondolas, wherein he finds Pig Pen having sex with his step-daughter Inga.
Ziva: "My first time was in the back of a weapons carrier."
McGee and Abby: "Of course it was."
Nanny Ogg of Discworld was once asked (by Casanunda; see below) if anyone had ever had sex while flying on a broomstick. She warned him that he'd fall off if he tried it, which rather implies she's speaking from experience...
Appears in the film Three (also known as Survival Island) which is mainly remembered for showing Kelly Brook topless.
Also mentioned in Katy Perry's song "California Gurls", with a (probably) unintentional Last-Second Word Swap: "Sex on the beach/We don't mind sand in our stilettos".
One of the shared pleasures cited in the "Pina Colada" song is making love at midnight in the dunes on the Cape.
The Simpsons parodied this in "And Maggie Makes Three", where it looks like Homer and Marge are about to have a wild, hot night on the beach, only for Marge to ask that they leave because they've both got sand in her underwear. After they leave, Homer runs back to put more sand in his underpants.
Red Dwarf: at one point Lister claims to have done this, in a sand trap (see the linked Cracked article for why this is a bad idea). Rimmer's response included asking if Lister was a club member, and if he raked the trap afterward.
The Simpsons: Bart was concieved inside the windmill on a miniature golf course.
Casanunda, the Discworld's self-proclaimed Second Greatest Lover, reportedly once had sex while upside-down in a tree.
In season 8 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Oz and Bayarmaa have sex in the grass under a tree next to a Buddhists monastery. A yak lying near them decides to wander off.
In the ElfQuestIN SPACE! comic Jink! the title character has sex with a complete stranger who's been sent to find her - in the branches of a tree, in an arboretum, in a space station.
Of course, as a descendant of Wolfriders, doing it in a tree probably comes naturally to her.
Robert Burns' poem, "Rigs O'Barley" is about a narrator having sex with a girl on a barley field.
The Sims 3: Generations adds treehouses to the game. Of course, your Sims can have sex in them. Same goes for the haystacks in Pets.
It's believed that Percy Shelley and his fifteen-year old second-wife-to-be Mary consummated their relationship- possibly the day they met- on the grave of the mother who died giving birth to her. Given that said mother was Mary Woolstonecroft, her opinion on this, had she known, might not have been what one would expect...
Extracurricular Class Fun
Especially kinky (high-school?) students get it on in all sorts of places in school:
That thumping sound in the sports equipment room may not just be poorly-arranged equipment falling on the padded mats there.
The really daring do it on the roof under the open sky.
Chihiro and Renji are as far as it can get from daring, though. (They were Genre Savvy to sneak into the rooftop when the school was otherwise closed, though.)
When the school hall is unused, there's a measure of privacy amongst the curtains.
If your school has a band or choir room, people have sex in it. Especially notable if there's a practice room (what, you thought those students were actually practicing their instruments in there?!) That's right. The marching band kids get more action than you.
In example, Crescendo gives us Ryo doing it with Miyu on and against the music room's piano.
As above, the Drama Club room may be occupied by people for some private performances.
Some like to go to the prop closet, since it's dark and somewhat secluded, that or greenrooms/locker rooms.
Like hospitals, the school's custodial closet is often used for this.
The highest public floor in a certain library in western Massachusetts is infamous for this, to the point of having regular patrols to shoo out couples.
The scene in the Kare Kano manga where Arima has a breakdown after he recovers his childhood abuse memories and pretty much ravishes his girlfriend Yukino takes place in a corner of the school library.
With all the incidental nudity, locker rooms are a natural choice. Often, the students even sneak in a member of the opposite sex.
If the lockers are big enough, sometimes students attempting the above duck inside them to continue when others want to come in to change and gossip.
Multi-day school trips and high school students. If there is a couple in class, something's more likely than not to happen.
If there's nobody napping off their illnesses and the School Nurse is not present, some nurse's assistants and Class Health representatives may commandeer the nurse's office or sickbay for some creativeIntimate Healing.
Since Katawa Shoujo takes place in a Boarding School, there are several instances of this kind of sex taking place in other places than the dormitories:
Shizune seems quite prone to this. You didn't do it, but she wanted to have sex on the school rooftop. Also, while not as severe as other cases, it isn't a good idea to have sex in your parents's house when they (or at least her dad and brother) can just barge in at any moment. And finally, Hisao and Shizune's big sex scene takes place in the student council room at night.
Eventually lampshaded in the fanfic Weekend at Hisao's, where Hisao points out how this kink of Shizune's can get ... risky.
The second scene for Emi takes place in the sport supplies shed. It's... hilariously awkward, specially since it's anal sex, and the naked Emi is bent over one of the props. It's also implied that Emi did... something amazing with Hisao in the rooftop — three guesses at to what.
Rin and Hisao's first sex scene takes place in the painting atelier that Sae got for her. One wonders what would've happened if either her or Nomiya walked in.
In the fanfic Lilly Epilogue Family Matters, Hisao and Lilly, the Official Couple, get an apartment with their mutual friend Hanako for several reasons, one being that Lilly's "healthy adolescentsex drive" would make it difficult to live with Hisao's parents. Hanako once walks in on the two having sex late at night after their proposal in the living room of their apartment.
A particularly strange case occurs in My Immortal where Ebony and Draco have sex in a classroom while class is in session.
In True Romance a hot sex scene occurs inside a phone booth.
In one episode of The Nanny, Yetta mentions to C.C. (thinking she was talking to Maggie) that Fran and Maxwell had walked in on C.C. and Niles "doing the horizontal horror." C.C. responds with "Where? Kitchen? Closet? Stairway? Limo? Wal-Mart?" She later calls Niles and it's implied that she plans on doing it in an aluminum shed at Home Depot.
In Vassalord, Charley and Rayflo have their kinky blood-sucking sessions in a variety of odd places including a prison cell, an airplane bathroom, and the back room of a church.
In Castle, Richard Castle and his ex-wife Meredith spend a post-coital moment blissfully recounting their top-ten sexual encounters. Among the locales listed are Yankee Stadium, the Westminster Dog Show, Coney Island and a hot-air balloon.
Everyone in My Immortal. All the time. One notable scene takes place in a classroom while class is in session, and another in the middle of the Great Hall with Dobby watching.
After Tim gets a vasectomy in Home Improvement, sex can be done anytime, anywhere. At the end of the episode, they choose a location they haven't done in a while: The bedroom.
The subject of the rap song "What's Your Fantasy?" by Ludacris
Family Guy: Peter and Lois' father have kidnapped her to stop her modeling career. Peter has a change of heart, coldcocks Mr. Pewterschmidt, and he and Lois have make-up sex ON her father..."like they used to."
One Norwegian film called Brent av frost had two characters having sex on a mound of fish. The actress involved recently sued the Norwegian Broadcasting Corporation, NRK, for showing the scene "out of context", in violation of a written agreement of hers with the director of the film.
Clarissa Dickson Wright—yes, of Two Fat Ladies fame—was, before she became a TV cook, the youngest barrister in England. A very depressed youngest barrister in England, who had just lost her mother, and then her father. Taking up the bottle, she proceeded to have numerous affairs—including one with an MP, which, she claims, was consummated behind the Speaker's Chair.
The point of "The Fuckers", a recurring act on the British competitive comedy and/or hidden camera show Balls of Steel, whose act is to make out naked in public places.
It was stated on Doctor Who that Melody was conceived on a bunk bed. When people asked head writer Steven Moffat and episode writer Mark Gatiss on whether it was the top or bottom bunk, they independently suggested it could have been the ladder. When they found about this, they agreed that they had just confirmed it.
In the Married... with Children episode "The Egg and I", Marcy's ex-husband, Steve comes back to "reclaim" her, and gets into an argument with her current husband, Jefferson about which one of them is the better lover. They bring up places where they had sex with her, such as the kitchen, the front yard, a Dairy Queen, and a homeless person's shopping cart.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Buffy and Spike in Season 6 have sex on the walls and floor (because they've smashed up all the furniture), in a back alley outside Buffy's workplace, on the lawn of her house with Dawn waiting inside and on an interior balcony of the Bronze with her friends dancing below — behaviour which causes Buffy to feel both excitement and self-loathing. A more Played for Laughs version of this trope is when it's revealed in an earlier episode that Joyce and Giles (under magical influence) had sex on the hood of a police car.
In How To Make It In America Ben and Nancy have sex in a yacht, which is hosting her husband Yosi's birthday party. Then later its implied they do it in her office (on a couch), which has no door, only a curtain.
Apparently broom/supply closets are a place where it has been done at work.
Invoked in Ethan of Athos, in which the bad guys plan to make it look like Ethan and Elli were having sex in a docking bay airlock, shortly before it opens to space:
Ethan: God the Father, the Population Council will think I was depraved enough to make love to a woman in a flex tube!
Elli: Gods forbid that Admiral Naismith would think I was stupid enough to make love to anything in a flex tube!
On the soap opera Port Charles, two characters take a break from work to sneak up to the roof and have sex. Later, another character and her boyfriend have sex in a bathroom, but find themselves stranded without any clothes. When her friend teases her about this, the other woman states, "Listen to her. Dr. "I Did It On The Roof" is giving me the "holier-than-thou" routine."
Stables are very popular love-making locale on soaps. In true Hollywood-style, unlike in Real Life, said stables are not dirty, cold, or smelly in the least, and neither are those convenient blankets that appear out of nowhere.
At least one Darwin Awards story involved a couple doing it in the middle of the roadat night. No prizes for guessing how that one ended.
There's lots and lots of sex between the all of the cops at San Antonio Predicate in Los Hombres De Paco. Silvia and Pepa have had sex in the crime lab a couple of times. Not to mention all the sex in the locker rooms and the bathrooms at work. It's a wonder any cases get solved. Pepa and Silvia were close to having sex in the parking lot once before getting interrupted by Curtis.
In the pilot episode of JAG, Lt. Arutti and Lt. Painter has sex in a transport plane parked on the flight deck of the aircraft carrier USS Seahawk.
Even more The Sims 3 examples: in a sarcophagus in World Adventures, a time machine in Ambitions, a magician's box of mystery in Showtime. At this point, a new expansion pack just isn't complete without a new place for Sims to woohoo.
Though it fades to black before we see anything, the actual majority of the sex scenes in Duel Savior Destiny take place like this. The most glaring has to be one that takes place mid battle between Rico and Taiga, though to be fair it's both in a pocket dimension and because if they don't they'll be killed. Or at least, Taiga will be. Rico is almost unkillable.
While none of the major characters in the Heralds of Valdemar series have ever had sex while on Companion-back, there are occasional mentions of the fact that some Heralds have done it.