->''Why do I blame you, when it's me I can't forgive?''
-->--'''Music/{{Metallica}}''', "The Unforgiven III"

%% One quote is sufficient. Any additional quotes go to its own subpage.

The oldest breakup line in the book, and still the favorite way to get rid of a TemporaryLoveInterest. However, there's a key difference on television: sometimes, it's actually true!

Usually, when true, it's because the breaker-upper has a BigSecret. For example, in season one of ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'', Buffy breaks up with a guy because his craving for excitement/death wish would probably get him killed if he kept hanging around Buffy. Sometimes, "[[ItsNotYouItsMyEnemies It's my enemies]]." Other times it's the LastHetRomance for a newly-out-of-the-closet character.

However, in other cases (especially in a SitCom), it becomes "Oh, who'm I kidding? It's you!" But the reasoning may be shallow and superficial--see MinorFlawMajorBreakup.

[[AC:{{Anime}} and {{Manga}}]]
* Joked with in ''Franchise/OnePiece'', Chapter 489/Episode 381.
-->'''[[{{Gonk}} Lola]]:''' Thanks. In the end, you've done everything for us!! We could never hope to repay you, even with a lifetime of thanks!! I'll offer to marry you.\\
'''[[{{Cyborg}} Franky]]:''' You're one hell of a catch, but I'm so friggin' super, I'm out of your league, babe.
** An implied non-romantic example is the situation between [[spoiler:the world's most wanted criminal, Monkey D. Dragon]] and his own family. It's implied that he's extremely homesick.
* Mixed with [[spoiler:SinsofOurFathers]] in ''Anime/MawaruPenguindrum'', when [[spoiler:Shouma cuts off contact with his friend/love interest Ringo, as his family has connections with the incident in which her older sister Momoka died]]. [[spoiler:Subverted later: after a certain incident in an ''onsen'' with Ringo and Yuri, the contact is re-taken]].
* In CandyCandy, [[spoiler: Terry leaves the BoardingSchool half to rebel against his neglectful father, half to stop causing troubles to Candy.]]
* In ''Manga/ServantXService'', this is the reason why Lucy rejected Yutaka's offer to start dating. Initially, Yutaka was oblivious to it, and upon discovering it, he was quite happy — it means there's still a chance he can change her mind.
* ''[[Manga/YoureUnderArrest You're Under Arrest!]]'' plays this straight in episode 33, when [[DaChief Kachou]] finally reveals why he doesn't reciprocate Natsumi's feelings for him:
-->'''Kachou: (aloud, to himself)''' "You're [[SingleWomanSeeksGoodMan a good girl, Tsujimoto.]] If only I were 20 years younger..."

* This was Satsu's reason for leaving [[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer Buffy]] before their relationship could really start. Buffy was unsure of her feelings about Satsu, but Satsu was definitely in love with Buffy - so much that Satsu didn't trust her own judgement around Buffy. She solved the problem by getting transferred to Tokyo.
* In the Swedish comic ''ComicBook/{{Rocky}}'', the titular character's girlfriend tells him that there are a couple thing she needs to talk with him about. Rocky, being GenreSavvy, predicts that the breakup clichés are going to pile up, and correctly enough, his girlfriend proceeds to tell him that "I don't know what I feel anymore" and "I need to be alone for a while", after this she, with tears in her eyes, asks him to say something, and he simply answers "You forgot 'It's not you. It's me'!"

[[AC:Fan Fiction]]
* In the ''VisualNovel/KatawaShoujo'' fanfic ''FanFic/{{Sisterhood}}'', Hanako says basically this when (attempting to) breaking up with Hisao. The reason she feels that way is when Hisao had a heart attack in front of her, she suffered a panic attack and froze up, resulting in a passing stranger having to call the ambulance for the both of them. Hisao rejects this reasoning, and manages to convince her that it's okay that she has issues too: they can work through it.

* Subverted and inverted in ''EuroTrip.''
-->'''Fiona:''' Scotty, it's not you, it's me. ({{beat}}) There I go, lying again. No, it was you.
* Played straight in ''Film/HotTubTimeMachine'', when Adam dumped his girlfriend. [[spoiler: And also in the AlternateTimeline, when ''she'' dumped ''him'' (which she was gonna do in the original timeline anyway).]]
* Jacob does this in the film version of ''NewMoon'', when he tries to distance from Bella after discovering he's a werewolf.

* Literature/{{Oblomov}} to Olga.
* ''Literature/WarriorCats'': Dovewing dishes this out on Bumblestripe in Bramblestar's Storm. She broke up with him because she still loved her last mate, Tigerheart, and legitimately felt bad for stringing him along for so long.
* In ''Literature/{{Pact}}'', Blake Thorburn turns down an offer from his friend Alexis to be FriendsWithBenefits, telling her that it's due to his [[TheFirstCutIsTheDeepest issues with intimacy]] and assuring her that if it weren't for that, he would go for it.

* ''Series/{{Farscape}}'' plays it straight, sort of:
-->'''Aeryn''': (after an unsuccessful pickup attempt by another character) Now, don't feel bad. It's not you, it's me. ''I'' don't like ''you''.
* Used repeatedly on ''Series/SexAndTheCity'', in both of the ways described above. One scene showed the same bland guy being dumped by a series of women using the exact same lines.
* Prue in ''Series/{{Charmed}}'' uses this line repeatedly when her boyfriend Andy gets upset that she's keeping secrets from him and missing dates, and also when she eventually breaks up with him.
* Ellen of ''SlingsAndArrows'' gives this line to her much younger boyfriend Sloan shortly after he asks her to marry him, saying that he deserves better than a middle-aged woman caught up in a drama-filled world (the theatre) that she can't let him into.
* ''TheITCrowd'' plays with this when Douglas discovers that his TemporaryLoveInterest is a {{Transsexual}}:
-->'''Douglas:''' It's not you, it's me. No actually, it is you.
* Subverted in ''{{Coupling}}'' when Patrick tries to break up through her answerphone with one of his numerous conquests :
-->Um, I want to put this as gently as possible : I've been thinking a lot about the future, and you're not in it. So, sorry, it's not me, it's you...No, hang on, it's the other way around, isn't it?
** Steve does it in the first episode to Jane, who of course asks him why she's getting dumped instead of her dumping him. Steve runs with this, telling her to dump him, to which she replies "Noooooo! We can work on your problems!'
* DawsonsCreek: Played honestly at the end of season 4 when Pacey and Joey break up because he believes she can do better and he's holding her back from her future after graduation.
* In the ''{{Friends}}'' episode "The One with the Thumb", the characters discuss "dating language":
-->'''Joey:''' Y'know, like 'It's not you' means 'It is you'.
* Caroline in ''TheVampireDiaries'' manipulates her boyfriend Matt into breaking up with her since, as a young vampire, she lacks the self-control to not rip his throat out in an intimate moment.
* Simone of ''Dårfinkar & dönickar'', masquerading as a boy, uses this line on a girl who's interested in her. The truth is, of course, that the attractive boy Simon is really a she.
* In ''That70sShow'', Nina breaks up with Fez using this line. When she wants to get back together later in the episode, he blows her off with a mocking "It's not me, it's you".
* On ''BoyMeetsWorld'' Shawn says this to Cory when they "[[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything break up]]" their friendship in the episode appropriately titled "It's Not You, It's Me".
* George from ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' claims to have invented this trope (see the quote).
* When Robin on ''Series/HowIMetYourMother'' once broke up with a boyfriend, she also "broke up" with his 10 year old son. On realizing that nobody had broken up with him before, she was relieved that she could throw ever cliched breakup line at him and he would believe her. "It's not you, it's me." "I'm going through a lot of stuff right now." "I just want to focus on my career." etc. etc.
** [[ShipperOnDeck Lily becomes really, really excited when she finds out that Robin and Barney kissed,]] but they tell her that it was just a one time thing. Brokenhearted, Lily asks if it's something she did. "Oh God no. It's not you, Lily, it's us." (With "We'll totally [[JustFriends still be friends]]" thrown in as a bonus). Her response is [[IJustWantMyBelovedToBeHappy "As long as you're happy, I'm happy."]] Cut to her sobbing and eating a gallon of ice cream in bed.
* In the third season finale of ''TheMentalist'', "Strawberries and Cream," FBI agent Craig O'Laughlin uses this line on his fiancee, CBI agent Grace Van Pelt, [[spoiler:''just before trying to kill her''. She and Teresa Lisbon get the drop on him and kill him instead.]]
* In the TV adaptation of Creator/TerryPratchett's ''Discworld/GoingPostal'', guilt-ridden [[TheHero Moist von Lipwig]] says to his love interest, "But you really have to stay away from me. It's not you, it's me." She replies, "Oh! [[{{Cliche}} Cliches]], as well, now I really am insulted." It takes Lipwig's written confession of his crimes to make her believe he did mean the last part.
* When [[spoiler:Jeff and Britta]]'s SecretRelationship is found out in ''Series/{{Community}}'' they decide to break it off.
--> [[spoiler:'''Jeff''']]: It's not you, it's m--
--> [[spoiler:'''Britta''']]: It's you.

* In ''LadyInTheDark'', Liza says this to Kendall Nesbitt.

* Kanon tries this in the second arc of ''VisualNovel/UminekoNoNakuKoroNi''. He does this to spare Jessica heartbreak from loving someone who can't love her back. After all, [[CatchPhrase he is furniture]]. [[spoiler:Considering how it's revealed later on that there's something ''very'' wrong with Kanon physically due to injuries from being thrown off a cliff, he's probably justified in doing this.]]
* The PlayerCharacter can use this line to break up with Leliana in ''VideoGame/DragonAgeOrigins''. She will call you out on doing so, however, and demand the real explanation.
** Fenris says this to a romanced Hawke in ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII'' after their night together--[[DarkAndTroubledPast he's got]] [[BrokenBird good reason]], though, and he calls it 'the hardest thing I've ever done' in party banter. Later on, if you pursue it, [[RelationshipUpgrade he decides it was a stupid idea after all]].
** Anders gets in on the action as well if you choose to romance him. He constantly declares all the reasons why he and Hawke couldn't be together (including the fact that he is an apostate, could never give Hawke a normal life and the [[BrainwashedAndCrazy fact he is]] [[DemonicPossession possessed by Justice]]) but in the end, if Hawke continues to pursue him, he gives in anyways.
* In ''VideoGame/NiNoKuni'', a minor [=NPC=] husband in Ding Dong Dell states this as the reason why he can't be with his wife anymore; it turns out that he's brokenhearted (had a piece of his heart stolen by the dark wizard Shadar) and needs some Love.
* While the line isn't actually said, the sentiment is the same in Tomoyo's route in ''VisualNovel/{{Clannad}}'', where Tomoya (temporarily) breaks up with her after being convinced that she's too good for him and he's only holding her back (her being TheAce and StudentCouncilPresident and him being a delinquent.)

* ''Webcomic/TheGodsOfArrKelaan'' played this with a God dismissing his High Priest.
* The [[http://www.leasticoulddo.com/comic/20030211 second strip]] of ''Webcomic/LeastICouldDo'' combines this with BrutalHonesty and JerkAss.
* Spoofed in ''Webcomic/SomethingPositive''. "It's not you, it's me. I don't want to be involved with a pussy."
** Also referenced [[http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp01142005.shtml here]].
* [[http://headtripcomics.comicgenesis.com/d/20100308.html Used]] in ''Webcomic/HeadTrip'', without any romantic connotations to a demon.
-->'''Demon:''' Thank God you're still a bitch. That's a good start.
* In a ''{{Speedbump}}'' cartoon (by Dave Coverly), he gives an example of the worst use of this line, in which an angel tells this to her devil boyfriend.
* This is [[InvertedTrope inverted]] in ''Webcomic/WapsiSquare'' where this phrase is used to [[http://wapsisquare.com/comic/10212004/ start a relationship.]] The inversion is then promptly [[LampshadeHanging lampshaded.]]
* In ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive'', [[spoiler:Susan]] [[http://www.egscomics.com/?date=2012-03-19 uses this]] in an attempt to let Matt down easy after rejecting his advance. She goes on to justify the line though, explaining why it is probably her and not him.
* In ''Webcomic/NoRestForTheWicked'', [[http://www.forthewicked.net/archive/04i-09.html November assures the Boy that though she's not fit to marry, it's not that she doesn't like him.]]