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It's Always Time
You, uh, might want to listen to her.

"We're not perverts. We're superheroes."
"There's a difference?"
— Dee and Eurydice

Inspired by the Internetís alternative fiction communities and a quote from Some Like it Hot ("Look how she moves! It's like Jell-O on springs."), Itís Always Time is an erotic adventure-comedy about the transformation of an insecure geek into a superhero when he accidentally summons a supernatural nymphomaniac out of magical lime gelatin. Their story is a twisted fairytale version of the three act "Boy Meets Girl" plot where the classical obstacles to romance are embodied by a super-villainess made out of cherry gelatin and devilís food pudding and a horde of sorority sex zombies.

So, this is a pretty traditional story of Boy meets Goo. No typo there, we mean that our main character, Deiter Detwiler, meets, and subsequently mates, a woman made out of living gelatin- Created by his own hand to boot. And that is not the point where things get weird.

It's Always Time (IAT for short) is a Web Original 'Erotic Farce' written by author-figure Oblimo Oblissimo, located at http://oblimo.pbworks.com/ . The story follows a traditional Epic framework with enough twists to make pretzels feel bad for themselves- Starting with the fact that some of the concepts are based at that most infamous of Image Boards, 4chan.

And with no further ado, the actual tropes of IAT.

Oh yeah- Not Safe for Work is putting things very, very mildly.


It features:

  • Anachronic Order: There's a Time Skip, and the story opens with Dee making the Jell-O and thinking How We Got Here.
  • Applied Phlebotinum: The stories main engine, nanomek/novilunium is nanomachines meets Functional Magic. And then there's the heroine, who is Made of Phlebotinum.
  • Author Appeal: Shockingly not- The author was spurred to make the stories by various members of 4chan's /d/, and doesn't actually prefer ladies of the gelatinous variety. Although the fact that the entire female cast is lustful and dangerous is a bloody giveaway.
  • Ax-Crazy: Black Cherry fits the bill to a T. Or a Bee.
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: An entire character dedicated to it, in a fashion- The self-named Tomoe Exposition (a more accurate, direct name is never given, apart from a few hints here and there.) There are several Intermission-style breaks where she speaks directly to the audience from her... reading chair.
  • Genre Savvy: Dee, being exactly the type of geek who would read the story he figures he's in.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: BC spends the entire story trying to get Dee's man-mojo, but she had already raped Yves, so she had really imprinted on him instead.
  • Horny Devils: Black Cherry again, with a vengeance- This loosely (ha!) also applies to her Zombie Whorde.
  • Interspecies Romance
  • I Read It for the Articles: Even if you don't enjoy the fetishes in question, it can still be an entertaining read.
  • The Little Shop That Wasn't There Yesterday: Guess what type of store Tomoe runs, and guess where Dee gets the thickener. You're wrong. SRT medical supplies is a standard store that just happens to be run by a witch and sell Applied Phlebotinum, though Dee expects it to be this.
  • Meta Origin: Everything (and we mean everything) originates from someone's (or something's) fetishes.
  • Meaningful Name: Dee (/d/: Hentai/Alternative), Ursula (/u/: Yuri), and Yves (/y/: Yaoi) are named after 4chan boards, and have the sexual orientations to match. A guy named Kay was also briefly mentioned as having gone to Iraq. /k/ is 4chan's weapons board. Add in Viggo the video game addict (/vg/) and the rather self-explanatory Bee, and the entire story turns into Shout-Out Theme Naming.
  • Phallic Weapon: SB's penis turns into a sword when (s)he detaches it. At the end, (s)he makes Yves a second sword from her body.
  • Porn Tropes: Deliberately employed in the B-plot with the Zombie Whorde.
  • Rape IS Okay When Its Female On Male: When a reader raised a querulous voice about the men sexually assaulted by the Zombie Whorde, Oblimo clarified that the sex was reluctant rather than actively non-consensual. Glad that's cleared up. It is definetely not okay with Black Cherry's rape of Yves.
  • Seen It All: Tomoe Exposition is a clear Type 3, and knows it.
  • Shout-Out : Many, although one deserves to be pointed out. In Act 3, chapter 3, we find out the the aforementioned /U/rsula is a witch, who was part of a group that played D&D as kids. In her group, there was a girl named Marcie who had a thief named Black Leaf, who died in-game. It is implied that she committed suicide. In the infamous Dark Dungeons strip by Jack Chick there is a girl named Marcie who kills herself after her Thief, Black Leaf dies.

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