Teal, Henderson and York, about to make a new enemy for all of mankind.
"That thing is eating my crew!"
"Only the slow ones. It's picking them off one by one, it's doing exactly what I would do. I think I almost love her."
Henderson and York,
A Gift From the Glish Attention all crew: nutrition advice. Lager is not a meal in itself. Eat food with your lager.
This show boils down to a British Warship (the
HMS Camden Lock) in the year 2151 crewed by a
Five-Man Band of
Bunny Ears Lawyers who solve problems by making them bigger until they go away.
The show was quite well received critically but failed to get the ratings. It had two seasons in 2006 and 2007.
The Bridge Crew consists of:
- Space Commander Michael Henderson: "Henderson rose through the ranks in exactly the way we say people can in the recruitment ads, yet endeavour to prevent in practice. Henderson shows initiative; always a dangerous sign."
- Recommended Action: "Send to a dangerous quadrant of the galaxy, where perhaps some alien race may deal with 'the Henderson problem' for us."
- First Officer Eduardo York: "York is still the only trainee at Space Force Academy to ever kill someone in a role play workshop, after which he said he was 'just trying to make it realistic, wasn't that the idea, or are you disagreeing with me as well?'. A cold-hearted, brutal psychopath."
- Recommended Action: "We need more like him."
- Diplomatic officer Chloe Teal: "Teal was expected to excel in her final exams at Space Force academy, yet spent the entire three hours working out the best way to arrange her coloured pens. We couldn't flunk her though because her Dad's an ambassador."
- Recommended Action: "The Camden Lock has proved a suitable place for her talents."
- Technical Officer Jeffers: "Disobedient and insolent AND VERY GOOD IN BED, Jeffers CAN DRINK TWO BOTTLES OF CIDER WITHOUT NEEDING A WEE has been subject to several serious investigations, records of which have mysteriously disappeared from our central computer OH DEAR."
- Recommended Action: "Investigate further. GOOD LUCK!"
- Navigator Vine: "Suffering panic attacks and delusions, Vine is a danger to himself and the rest of his crew. He lives in fear of most things, including fear itself and the fear of fear itself. Oddly, he's fine with spiders."
- Recommended Action: "Medicate if becomes severe."
- Sandstrom: "Sandstrom is a prototype. It may be that there are problems with the enhancement process, but the project went four times over budget so it is vital that we don't draw any attention to them."
- Recommended Action: "If pressed please say, 'The enhanced human project is a triumph of British engineering, and the early models which rampaged through Manchester should not blind us to that fact.'"
(Comments from official Space Force files on the
BBC website
.)
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