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Help Me Doctor Hazama
Help me! Doctor Hazama! is a BlazBlue parody web series starring everyone's favorite troll, Hazama/Yuuki Terumi, made by Daggertail100.

In an Alternate Universe taking place after the events of Continuum Shift, Hazama has decided to leave the NOL in favor of becoming a doctor in Litchi Faye-Ling's clinic. He even has a certified Phd and MD. (He can even birth babies! Though...not like that.)

Of course, this is Hazama we're talking about, so a lot of trolling is present. Joining him are his superior and employer, Litchi, his part time assistants Taokaka and Noel Vermillion, and the rest of the Blazblue cast.

The series is done the Super-Deformed style of the games' Teach me! Miss Litchi! and Help me! Professor Kokonoe! segments. The series can be found here, while the side comics can be found here.


Help me! Doctor Hazama! contains examples of

  • Ax-Crazy: Nu, but she's actually less insane than in the games. For one thing, she's actually willing to let Litchi off with a warning rather than butcher her outright.
  • Actor Allusion: To the original games rather than the series itself. During a deal with some ninja associates, Hazama promises an autographed copy of K-On! The Movie from Cristina Vee. Noelnote  proceeds to ask the question: "Who's Cristina Vee?"
  • Back from the Dead: Lambda, complete with a new "rebellious teenager" personality.
  • Berserk Button: For the love of god, do not trash Litchi's clinic.
    • Also, don't insult Phillip in front of Tsubaki.
    • Or bring up the BlazBlue fan continuity to Kokonoe
  • Big Ball of Violence: The end of episode 7.
  • Body Horror: After Hazama tricks Tager into..."performing experiments" with Arakune (who was disguised as Kokonoe), there is apparently a sentient "growth" growing in the infirmary.
  • Bratty Half-Pint: Carl.
  • Butt Monkey: Noel. Also Ragna, to a lesser extent.
  • Companion Cube: Phillip the nickel.
    • Deconstructed when we meet Tsubaki's shadow. Her desire to be with Jin is something she unconsciously knows will never happen, so Philip acts as a sort of delusional replacement.
  • Compensating for Something: Hazama claims that Ragna's sword is this. It's true, according to Nu...
  • Cross Over: Episode 9 is one with Persona 4. Hiimdaisy references abound.
  • Cute and Psycho: Nu, of course.
  • Duck Season, Rabbit Season: Defied by Tao of all people when Hazama tried to get her to clean up the growth in the infirmary.
  • Flowery Insults: This is a running gag with Jin.
  • Gargle Blaster: The scorpion bowls in "Bowl.MOV". Then again, Jubei did eat over five of the things.
  • Grumpy Bear: Kokonoe. Her response to Tsubaki's optimism is to tell her to leave her the hell alone.
  • Guy on Guy Is Hot: Noel, Tsubaki, and even Tao stop in the middle of a trip to watch Jin getting down with Ragna.
  • Happiness in Slavery: In Hazama's perfect world, beast kin are slaves and Makoto belongs to the clinic. Despite that, she never loses her chipper demeanor, no matter how many beatings Noel threatens her with.
  • Homage: The Troll Booth returns!
  • I Lied: Hazama says this at the end of episode 1, in regard to how he said becoming a doctor was his way of turning good at the beginning. Of course, no one is surprised by this.
  • Jerk Ass: Pretty much everyone who was one in the games, especially Hazama, obviously.
  • The Knights Who Say Squee: Hazama's reaction to Makoto saying that all he does in his line of work was birth babies
  • Large Ham: Tager, when talking about his love of MAGNETISM.
  • Loveable Sex Maniac: Arakune.
  • Noodle Incident: Hazama apparently did something to Jubei. We don't really know what, but it involved a Texan stallion and a switchbox.
  • One of Us: Hazama found out he has a page on This Very Wiki. He proceeded to rocket into the air with joy.
  • Only Sane Man: Litchi, Ragna, Blue Ikaruga Ninja, and Relius.
    • Believe it or not, Hazama comes off as this from time to time.
  • Preemptive "Shut Up":
    Hazama: Do I look like a yuppie to you? A hipster?
    Tao: *inhales loudly*
    Hazama: You call me "hipster person" and you're sleeping in the gutter tonight Tao.
    Tao: Kay kay!
  • Rant Inducing Slight: Relius once told Kokonoe to "stop bitch or [He'll] feed her to the trolls". This was her response.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: Both Hazama and Hakumen are bronies. And Hazama's favorite pony? Fluttershy! Though Hazama's reaction when Hakumen starts going off and a tumblr post about Fighting Is Magic seems to imply that he's really not that into it, and was just trying to aggravate Hakumen.
    • Then again, he rode off on Fluttershy at the end of the episode.
  • Reluctant Fanservice Girl: How Noel is portrayed in the side comics. She apparently doesn't like her new attire in Blaz Blue Chrono Phantasma, and she didn't enjoy her time as Mu-12 either.
  • Running Gag: "I can birth babies!"
    • The senile old woman Hazama kicked off a cliff at the end of the "Refund" short. As of the Musical Episode, she's still falling.
  • Scare Chord: Jesus Christ, Nu...
  • Surprise Creepy: LIAR!!
  • Take That: Hazama once went to Texas to troll a certain radio show.
  • Title Drop: One was done by Makoto in episode 7.
  • Villainous BSOD: Hazama has a major one in "The Rather Odd Christmas Special" after realizing he was nice to a patient. Thankfully, it was All Just a Dream.
  • You Do Not Want To Know: Tsubaki says this when Hazama expresses confusion as to how one breaks another's uvula.
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