[[quoteright:251:[[Webcomic/PennyArcade http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/happy.png]]]]
[[caption-width-right:251:You just know this won't end "happily"]]

->'''Josh''': I loved them so much...\\
'''Alex''': You loved who? \\
'''Josh''': The girls of Madam Camae's Filipino Palace... \\
'''Alex''': You've been spending our rent money on Filipino hookers? \\
'''Josh''': They're not hookers, they're massage therapists. \\
'''Mover #2''': Yeah, she'll massage your cock for money. \\
'''Mover #1''': There's a word for that, I think it's hooker. \\
'''Josh''': YOU'RE A HOOKER!
-->-- ''Film/GrandmasBoy2006''

Massages are good fodder for comedy, because the near-intimate touching is uncomfortable or can create [[RagingStiffie an uncomfortable situation]].

However, sometimes this "uncomfortable situation" is exactly what the customer is looking for. Beyond that, in fact, the customer is paying for sexual acts under the guise of getting a massage. When this happens, the customer will almost always be male, and the masseuse will almost always be an [[AsianHookerStereotype Asian female]].

TruthInTelevision; many massage parlors, especially Asian massage parlors, have been discovered to be fronts for prostitution or offer prostitution services on the side. Sadly, human trafficking tends to be involved. This is why "massage parlor" is sometimes used as a euphemism for a brothel.

The best way for a citizen who really needs a massage to get one without the sex getting in the way, by the way, is to look for a registered massage therapist rather than some random parlor. If you just go to some random place, it's probably going to be one of these; they're surprisingly common. If you ''do'' wander in to the wrong type accidentally, keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with just saying, "No, thank you" to whatever is on offer.

A recent variant in fiction has no "happy ending" offer after a massage, but rather the massage itself has that effect. The masseuse, with or without realizing it, is actually so incredibly skilled that (s)he can bring a client unbelievable pleasure with a massage that's never shown to involve anything remotely sexual. [[noreallife]]


* A now-banned commercial for the NFL has a guy getting a massage from an attractive-looking nurse, and appearing to make this request (she objects, insisting she'd be fired if she did). Eventually, she gives in and turns the television in the room on to football. (What he had actually wanted.)

[[folder:Anime and Manga]]
* In ''Anime/TenchiMuyoWarOnGeminar'', main character Kenshi is taught the art of massage by Mexiah. Afterward, anytime he receives a signal he becomes a "massage machine" who makes the women massage feel so much pleasure that they can be trapped on the edge of orgasm for days.
* In ''Manga/{{Softenni}}'', rival team manager Leo is descended from a family that specializes in massage, and he's known to be a remarkable talent that comes around once every hundred years or so, able to bring his clients to severe climax in a matter of a few minutes just by rubbing their backs and shoulders. ComicallyMissingThePoint, Leo insists he's in need of further training because anytime he gives one of the girls a massage she winds up even more exhausted when he's finished.
* In ''LightNovel/{{MM}}'', Mamiya Yumi specializes in giving massages that make the client or, more often, victim feel more than a little too good. She doesn't just specialize in this though, she has a deep (and later demonstrably perverse) love of doing this to cute girls, whether the girls in question want it or not.

[[folder:Comic Books]]
* The titular character from ''ComicBook/DarkReign: Mister Negative'' is a crimelord, who among many other criminal businesses owns a brothel masked as massage parlor. In one scene inside it we see a guest that just asks for "happy ending" - seconds later both he and girl are killed by a supervillain working for ComicBook/TheHood, who had just declared a gang war on Negative.
* A fully consensual example happened in the ''ComicBook/SheHulk'' graphic novel, where Jen gets one from her current boyfriend Wyatt Wingfoot at the end. It was only implied that a "happy ending" would occur; if it did, given the Hell they both went through during the story, it might have also counted as GladToBeAliveSex.

[[folder:Fan Works]]
* "Fanfic/TheLifeAndTimesOfAWinningPony": Rarity ''inadvertently'' sets up one of these for Cloud Kicker when arranging a spa trip for her as an apology for tricking her into [[BadlyBatteredBabysitter foalsitting the Cutie Mark Crusaders]]. Rarity had no clue she had set up ''this'' kind of massage until Cloud Kicker told her. For the record, the twins only agreed to it because it was Rarity their most loyal, long-term customer (who had saved the world three times, to boot) asking.
* In the ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'' parody "The Voyorgy Conspiracy", this is one of the routine tasks of the Emergency Medical Hologram, with a spoof of the Doc/Janeway massage scene in "Scientific Method".

* ''[[Series/KolchakTheNightStalker The Night Stalker]]'' (1972). Kolchak is investigating the murders of several women, including a masseuse/prostitute. He goes the massage parlor to interview one of the girls, and ends up being arrested when the woman (actually an undercover vice cop) thinks he's asking for one of these.
* In ''Full Frontal'', Gus (played by Creator/DavidDuchovny) asks for a happy ending to his massage - and wonders if he can wear a plastic bag on his head while doing it. The masseuse refuses but blames herself later [[spoiler:when he's found asphyxiated in his room]]. And this is all played for laughs.
* Isaac in ''Film/FinalDestination5'' tries to get one of these when he goes to an Asian massage parlor in town, using a ticket he [[{{Jerkass}} stole from the desk of a deceased colleague]], and despite the fact that the receptionist points out that [[AsianHookerStereotype their place isn't a brothel]].
* In ''Film/WarInc'', Yonica heavily implies that she has given these before.
* "Couples' Retreat" includes a scene where a bickering couple gets massages. The husband is aroused by his female masseuse, and hints to her that he wants her to finish the job. She tells him, "I'm sorry, but THAT will not have a happy ending."
* In ''2 Days in the Valley'', Vice Officers Strayer and Taylor are busting "happy ending" massage parlors. But Taylor doesn't have the heart to subject the nice and clearly uncomfortable Asian girl doing his latest massage to a police raid, even though she grips his member and asks if he wants more.
* In ''Series/{{Jackass}} Number Two'', in the "Bad Grandpa'' prank, Irving Zissman's "grandson" asks if he gets massages with happy endings. He confirms this is the case.

* Red Grant's masseuse in ''Literature/FromRussiaWithLove'' doesn't go out of her ''way'' to do this with her clients, per se, but... it apparently turns out that way a lot. Grant stands out in that (among other things) he doesn't [[{{Asexuality}} react at all]].
* At one point in ''Literature/ADirtyJob'', the main character had too much "sexual energy". Even though he ended up at a massage parlour, he didn't ask for a "happy ending" but instead later went to an "official" hooker. This led to trouble[[spoiler:, as the girl he chose turned out to be a crazy incarnation of Death]]. Even the cop who saved him said that he should have just chosen the happy ending.
* In Irvine Welsh' ''Literature/{{Porno}}'', this is the way college student Nikki Fuller-Smith makes good money: she knows she's not great at the job, but she's a much more conventional beauty than her colleagues and some customers ask for her based on looks alone. Arguably, [[HighClassCallGirl it gets worse]].
* Played with in a ''very'' disturbing way in Creator/TennesseeWilliams' short story "Desire and the Black Masseur": the client finds himself getting a sexual charge from when the masseur hits him too hard. It escalates to broken bones [[spoiler:and eventually cannibalism]].
* Mass murderer Kevin Olmstead in ''Literature/AlexCross'' novel ''Cross My Heart'' targets parlors that offers these.
* Inverted in the German novel ''Gottes Bodenpersonal - eine unwahrscheinliche Liebesgeschichte'': The protagonist has to promise his lover that it will ''not'' be one of ''those'' to get him to accept a massage.[[RapeAsBackstory They are emotionally very close, but sex is a problem.]]
* In ''Literature/TheDresdenFiles'', Gentleman John Marcone, the crime boss of Chicago, owns a fitness center/massage parlor that's blatantly a front for a brothel. He also gives Harry a complementary Platinum Membership and run of the facility, for two reasons. One, he's hoping to keep Harry DistractedByTheSexy, and two, he's very well acquainted with Harry's reputation as a PersonOfMassDestruction and figures that since Harry's too powerful to be stopped if he decides to break into any of Marcone's properties, it's much cheaper to simply give him free access instead of having Harry blast his way through. Harry, being a ScrewTheMoneyIHaveRules person, never takes advantage of the former benefit.

[[folder:Live Action TV]]
* ''Series/TwoAndAHalfMen''. Charlie turned Alan's chiropractic office into a place for these after filling in for ''one day''.
* In an episode of ''Series/SexAndTheCity'', Samantha goes to a masseur precisely because he's supposed to do this. When he doesn't, she takes matters into her own hands (literally!), eventually leading to the man being fired.
* Spike's ''Series/{{Manswers}}'' gives advice on how to get such a massage. (They do, however, add a [[DontTryThisAtHome disclaimer]] that this could be prosecuted as prostitution depending on where you live.)
* The ShowWithinAShow ''Series/Studio60OnTheSunsetStrip'' had an ad for an (Asian, female) psychological therapist with the tagline "Doesn't everyone deserve a happy ending?"
* Brenda from ''Series/SixFeetUnder'' was a shiatsu masseuse, and one of her male customers got a RagingStiffie during the massage. She gave him a happy ending out of curiosity.
** Inversely, she threw out a pushy customer who came to the appointment expecting a "happy ending."
* ''Series/RumpoleOfTheBailey'': Rumpole's client in "Rumpole and the Judge's Elbow" was accused of running an establishment that provides these. One of the other main characters (Mr. Justice Sir Guthrie Featherstone, a stiff-necked, somewhat conservative type[[note]]He can't have been ''that'' conservative, however, given his deeply disturbing discovery of disco during a fling with a clerk in 1978-79, and the fact that he was a [[UsefulNotes/BritishPoliticalSystem Labour and then Social Democratic Party MP]] before becoming a judge[[/note]]) [[spoiler:''thinks'' that he]] has been going to that parlour for actual massages, not realizing what was going on. He finds himself presiding over Rumpole's client's trial, and of course recusing himself would be incredibly embarrassing (effectively admitting that he had attended a house of ill repute if the accused were convicted), so he spends much of the trial siding with the defense, to Rumpole's delight and confusion. [[spoiler:As it turns out, he was going to a totally legitimate parlour with an almost-identical name; good for him, as the accused was found guilty.]]
* ''Series/{{Entourage}}'' does this a few times, with the characters fully aware of the expected result, referring to it as a "rub and tug"
* There's an episode of ''Series/MalcolmInTheMiddle'' that references this.
* Dr. Kelso from ''Series/{{Scrubs}}'' took Turk to one of these once. Turk got a crick in his neck and had to watch Dr. Kelso receive his Happy Ending. YIKES.
** Once? It is implied that he's getting them on a regular basis off camera.
--> "My name is Bob Kelso and I like whores."
* ''Series/TheLeagueOfGentlemen'' featured a man who started a massage parlor (with a [[AttractiveBentGender [supposedly] hot blonde woman]] as a front to improve business) and learned that all of his customers expected these. Still, a customer is a customer...
* Phoebe from ''Series/{{Friends}}'' worked in a real massage parlour. Her idiot brother thought it was the other kind. [[HilarityEnsues Awkwardness ensues]]. Though she did once bite the arse of a guy she fancied, which implied that she'd be happy to do it for the right customer.
* They tried to bust one of these in ''Series/{{Reno 911}}''. The Masseuse gave him a very painful and entirely non-sexual massage, and he determined that this place in not a HappyEndingMassage. After he left, we find out that it is.
* Twelve-year-old Shane on ''Series/{{Weeds}}'' gets in trouble at school for claiming that his uncle Andy bought him a HappyEnding at an Asian massage parlor. He is, in fact, being truthful.
* Carlos ''accidentally'' gives one of these while working as a masseur (his job while he was blind) on ''Series/DesperateHousewives''.
* In the ''{{Series/Supernatural}}'' episode "[[Recap/SupernaturalS03E06RedSkyAtMorning Red Sky At Morning]]", Dean mentions having a HappyEndingMassage because, in his opinion, the supernatural object that he and Sam are looking for, a HandOfGlory[[note]]A hanged murderer's severed, preserved hand which is used as a macabre candelabra[[/note]], sounds like a euphemism for one.
* In one episode of ''Series/LasVegas'', the staff struggle to find a tactful way to explain to the Montecito spa's new masseur that he is not supposed to be providing Happy Endings. Also, Sam(antha) Marquez goes to "investigate", but is miffed when nothing happens. It turns out the guy has some sort of superstition about only doing it to people with "positive spiritual energy".
* In ''Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir'' Will takes Uncle Phil to a massage parlour so he can get relief for a back injury, unaware of the "special extras" they offer. The police break in just as the masseuses are about to give them their (well, not so much Uncle Phil's) Happy Ending.
* In an episode of ''Series/CurbYourEnthusiasm'' Larry accepts a happy ending from a masseuse without knowing what that means.
* In the short-lived series ''In Case of Emergency'' Kelly Hu's character works at one of these parlors. Naturally she puts on the [[AsianHookerStereotype Asian Hooker Stereotype]] for the clients. When she has a phone conversation in front of a client and talks normally, he asks what happened to her accent, and she puts on the accent again and replies "It go in and out love
* ''Series/BarneyMiller'':
** In one episode Fish goes to a massage parlor which had just recently been busted for prostitution. His wife is justifiably worried, but he really did just go for a massage.
** In another episode, the detectives stake out a place suspected of doing this. All of them fail to find evidence, until Wentworth goes ''twice'' and succeeds, discovering a male prostitute is offering them.
* On of George's coworkers on ''Series/{{Seinfeld}}'' was on his way to get a massage. George winks at him in front of his wife, causing her to suspect this trope. In reality, George had grapefruit pulp in his eye and winked accidentally.
* ''Horribly'' subverted in ''Series/OneThousandWaysToDie''. An American tourist in Thailand goes to a massage parlor to get one of these... and ends up stung to death by [[BeeAfraid a bunch of Asian Hornets]].
* The premise of LifetimeMovieOfTheWeek-turned-series ''The Client List'' starring Creator/JenniferLoveHewitt revolves around the protagonist specializing in this for money to take care of her child. Complications ensue.
* In the ''Series/{{Graceland}}'' episode "Happy Endings", the criminals who stole Agent Badillo's car are using it to rob a Happy Ending Massage Parlor because employees and patrons of an illegal business are both likely to have cash and unlikely to call the police.
* One of the cases on the half-hour courtroom drama show ''Superior Court'' had police taking over a massage parlour and busting guys asking for "extra service." The guy on trial in the case was a D.A., and produced a witness who was mistakenly busted when he went into the place looking for a legitimate massage. The witness (played by comic actor Phil Leeds) tells his story so amusingly that the judge himself is {{Corpsing}} during the guy's testimony.
* ''Series/LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit'' has an instance of a billionaire defense contractor receiving his "happy endings" from underage girls. Naturally, TheSquad hammer him with everything they've got.

[[folder:Stand Up Comedy]]
* Creator/RonWhite has a skit where he talks about how an upscale hotel's services are top-notch even for his dog. The concierge for dogs even offers a relaxing massage for his animal, to which Ron White says he replied "he's going to want a happy ending."
* Creator/GabrielIglesias encountered one of these.
-->'''Lady''': Hey, you! You, come inside!
-->'''Gabriel''': No, no thanks--
-->'''Lady''': No, really, you ''come'' inside!
-->'''Gabriel''': ''[suddenly interested]'' Felipe, you hear that?
-->'''Felipe''': Fool, I'm inside!
* Referenced in [[WebOriginal/IISuperwomanII Lilly Singh's]] video "The Awkward Massage", recounting an incident when she wandered into a random parlor and received very suspect treatment from her masseuse.
-->'''Lilly:''' At this point, I've got my fingers crossed that this is a Romeo & Juliet-type massage, because I ain't hoping for no happy ending!
* Creator/DanielTosh has turned these into something of a running gag; Japanese chiropractors, little old ladies, "pleasure coaches," chickens...
* Creator/RodneyCarrington on massages:
-->I donít understand the whole concept of a massage. You get a woman to rub all over every single part of your body except the one part you really want rubbed on. And it's not like she didn't know what part I was talking about. I kept pointing at it and clearing my throat.
* Creator/CraigFerguson has a bit on this in one of his standup routines. He says that every time a man goes to get a massage, he knows it's not going to be a HappyEndingMassage... but in the back of his head, he always thinks it might turn into one. He logically knows it won't. But it miiiiiight.
* Creator/BillEngvall has a bit where his wife sends him to a massage parlor to help relieve him of stress. His struggle to maintain his SeductionProofMarriage when greeted by the MsFanservice masseuse only leaves him ''more'' stressed.


[[folder:Video Games]]
* In Laharl's cameo in the ''VideoGame/DisgaeaHourOfDarkness'' spinoff, ''VideoGame/PrinnyCanIReallyBeTheHero'', Etna seems to reference this when she says Laharl is going to massage her ''SO hard'' when they get home or she might teach him some ''new tricks''. It doesn't help that Laharl is a Prinny in the cameo.
** She makes a Prinny massage her in the Drama CD as well. If you don't know what is going on it sounds just like what you would think it would sound like.
* In each of the Game Boy Color remakes of ''VideoGame/DragonQuestI'' and ''VideoGame/DragonQuestII'', the hero has an [[OptionalSexualEncounter opportunity]] to get a "puff puff massage" from a flirtatious young woman.
** Hilariously played for laughs in VIII: You finally find out what a "Puff Puff" is supposed to represent (MarshmallowHell) AND what it actually is (two slimes and a con woman suckering the hell out of your heroes) AND [[CrossesTheLineTwice you can get Jessica to grudgingly try one]], which she's not amused at because she THOUGHT THAT THE "PUFF PUFF" SKILL SHE LEARNED AND USED ON LECHER MONSTERS REALLY WAS ABOUT FLASHING HER BOOBS LIKE THOSE HARLOT SUCCUBI]
* ''VideoGame/SaintsRow2'' game has an activity where the player has to save their favorite massage parlor from going out of business. How do they do this? By delivering truckloads of sex workers to the place that the Boss rescues from abusive pimps working for the rival gangs.
* Wei from ''VideoGame/SleepingDogs'' is heavily implied to get these whenever he visits certain massage parlors dotted across the map. With enough leveling he even gets a "special bonus" every time he buys one. PlayedForLaughs in a later conversation, in which a character states that he wants to get a groin massage, which [[TooMuchInformation creeps Wei out]]. The person then clarifies that he means a real one, telling Wei to get his mind out of the gutter.

* ''Webcomic/PennyArcade'': [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/11/19/ The Jubilant Culmination]] references this, as seen in the page image.
* [[MsFanservice Katharin]]'s "Services" in ''Webcomic/TwoKinds''.
* Referenced in ''Webcomic/{{Spinnerette}}'', [[CatGirl Katt's]] massages [[SubvertedTrope aren't this]] but she is offended by people thinking about it.
* [[http://img.memecdn.com/porn-expectation-vs-reality_o_784235.jpg This]] little strip about common porn scenarios vs. real life. If you look on the back of the menu of massage options in the porn scenario, the customer can request a twist ending and even an ''epilogue''! In the "real life" scenario, there are no such options available, and rather than being performed by an attractive woman, it's being performed by a big, burly man.
* Subverted in ''Webcomic/{{Concession}}'', on Matt's first day at his new job as a physical therapist a client asked if he was getting a "happy ending", that was when he went for the [[http://concessioncomic.com/index.php?pid=20100216 acupuncture needles]].

[[folder:Western Animation]]
* One episode of ''WesternAnimation/TeenTitans'' ends with Raven getting one from a bunch of aliens. Three inch tall HiveMind aliens. One of the more pleasant endings, but no "happy ending". [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar Not that it didn't sound like it...]]
* Parodied in a ''WesternAnimation/RobotChicken'' sketch where the customer tries to decline the "happy ending" and ends up being chased all over town by his [[ImplacableMan overenthusiastic masseuse]]. Even snapping an officer's neck. It turns out [[spoiler:the "happy ending" was actually a free egg roll.]]
* Posey from ''WesternAnimation/MissionHill'' becomes a massage therapist; all her customers become angry on finding out that she's not a prostitute, and a local pimp even comes after her for infringing on his territory. It turns out that when she had her fliers printed up, the publisher accidentally put "Healing '''Release'''" instead of "Healing '''Relief'''".
* ''WesternAnimation/{{Sealab 2021}}'': when the other Debbie went on vacation, she insisted on getting one of these.
* In ''WesternAnimation/KingOfTheHill'', Dale's wife cheats on him with John Redcorn, all under the guise of a massage treatment to help with her headaches. It is later revealed that John really does have a legitimate massage office, but it's strongly implied that his therapy works as a sort of foreplay.
* This quote from Otto the bus driver on ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons:'' "Man. I guess this story had a happy ending after all. Just like my last massage."