Goggles Do Nothing
aka: The Goggles Do Nothing
Rummage Sale Reject. Goggles are popular, because they look cool. If you can actually get something out of them besides protection, then it's probably because your Goggles Do Something Unusual. If a character has a logical reason to be wearing goggles, like pilot with aviator goggles, it doesn't count as this trope, even if he never actually gets to use them. See also Purely Aesthetic Glasses. Subtrope of Useless Accessory.
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Anime and Manga
- Basque Ohm from Gundam 0083 and Zeta Gundam literally wears goggles that seem to serve no purpose. However, it's possible that they cover an injury of some sort as it was hinted he was tortured by Zeon during the One Year War.
- During the Hades arc of Angel Sanctuary, Katou wears goggles around his neck for no good reason, other than Rule of Cool.
- Parodied in Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo. Bubble-uba, a minor villain, wears three pairs of goggles on his forehead, and has an extra-large pair wrapped around his waist.
- In one of the Death Note Relight specials a shinigami, possibly Light Yagami, is seen (pictured above) with goggles when he doesn't even have any eyes!
- Matt, a frequent gamer, also wears goggles at all times. Though they might be worn to protect his eyes from glazing. Or maybe he's cosplaying Raz from Psychonauts.
- In Digimon, it borders on a Running Gag that the lead character always wears goggles. It started with Tai, then Davis actually started wearing Taichi's original goggles. Then Takato wears them because he watched a different version of Digimon on television. Then there's Takuya, Taiki, Tagiru, Tsurugi in Next, and Hikaru in D-Cyber. Strangely, the very first guy to wear goggles (another guy named Taichi in V-Tamer 01) actually got them as a gift from a pilot and used them for that very purpose. In several instances, the characters do actually use them. The problem is that nobody else seems to ever be bothered by whatever condition prompts the current goggle boy to wear them.
- Davis/Daisuke's Image Song is actually called "Goggle Boy," and he has an audio drama track called "Goggles." He does say that he wore them specifically because Tai/Taichi did, so it's kind of a Goggles Do Something Unusual Because They Do Unusual Things For My Role Model.
- Tamers subverts this. Takato's goggles come in handy in a digital field, among other places; the other two members of the Power Trio have sunglasses which they use in the same situations.
- Frontier featured a similar subversion, with Takuya using his goggles to cover his eyes while underwater. This came in handy since that meant he was the only group member who could see underwater and they weren't just swimming blind.
- Well, every lead character aside from Masaru, but that's probably because he's too manly for them. However, fans prefer goggles. Note that Masaru doesn't look like Elementary / Junior High school student, despite he is in the latter.
- Izumi from Kujibiki Unbalance.
- Yuuno's side-pouch in Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha, which we never see him use. Some Fan Web Comics (Omake (?)) have made speculations on what he places in there◊. Arnage actually has redundant goggles.
- In the early design stages for Naruto, the titular character was also supposed to wear a pair of useless goggles. However, the artist found goggles too hard to draw, and so replaced it with a headband after the first few issues. Attention is called to it, as one of Naruto's mentors notes he's wearing the goggles as a replacement for the hachimaki actual ninja wear; it's taken as a sign of his immaturity.
- In the original one-shot, the goggles weren't useless; he wears them when riding his motorcycle. The goggles in the first few chapters of the series proper were a holdover from that one-shot.
- After Chapter 2, Konohamaru takes to wearing goggles on his forehead in order to emulate Naruto. After the Time Skip, when Konohamaru and his teammates are now genin, he wears a Leaf headband instead.
- Averted with Obito, who wears goggles properly over his eyes. Likely due to being an Uchiha, he took very good care of his eyes, protecting them from debris with the goggles and using eye drops to moisturize.
- One chapter briefly features a character named Kosuke who wears goggles, which is weird since he's a toad (albeit a magic one).
- Gold in the PokÚmon Special the first noticable difference between him and the male PC for the second generation games.
- Rin-rin in Sister Princess habitually wears a pair of goggles pushed up on top of her head. Given that she's a maker of robots and other technotoys, they may be welding goggles or other similar eye protection, but she's never seen with them actually over her eyes.
- The protagonist, Simon, in Gurren Lagann averts this trope by actually wearing his goggles to protect his eyes and provide illumination while digging underground tunnels. It is worth mentioning, however, that Simon wears the goggles on his forehead at all times, even when not underground, and even in space. He is also the only one to wear them even though he is by no means the only one who digs tunnels.
- Kamina is a better example, as he is shown always wearing his Cool Shades. Nevermind that they don't do anything since he's spent a good part of his life underground with no natural light source that he needs them for, but something like that isn't going to stop him.
- In Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle, Syaoran's goggles appear useless at first, but then he finds an underwater country and uses them for diving.
- In early chapters of Chrono Crusade, Rosette wears a pair of goggles over her wimple. She uses them a grand total of once, while she and Chrono are on a plane and attempting to board an enemy's blimp. Chrono wears them, too, but it's the only time he's ever seen with goggles, and he takes his off once they make it in, but Rosette's stay on until she gets her militia outfit.
- Koga the Jerkass Noble Demon of Inuyasha wears a sheathed sword that he never uses during battle. Lampshaded when he finally draws the thing to whack his way free of a demon's giant clutching hand. When his pair of loyal minions express surprise that he's never used the sword before, Koga admits he doesn't even know how to fight with it?he just took the sword off a corpse to carry because he thought it would make him look cool.
- Shiba Ganju of Bleach was supposed to have goggles as part of his design, but Kubo lamented that he simply forgot to add them every time he drew the character. However, the goggles do appear on Ganjuu in some color spreads.
- Renji, meanwhile, likes wearing expensive sunglasses over his forehead tattoos, but are broken easily in fights. He substitutes a bandanna instead.
- A variation occurs in one of the anime omake: Tousen is seen using binoculars. This would be fine, except TOUSEN IS BLIND.
- Codename: Sailor V: Sailor V's mask is this. Unlike Sailor Moon's similar mask in the manga it has no point aside from obscuring her face. When she becomes Sailor Venus she continues to wear it offscreen for a bit and during her introduction (probably so viewers/readers know that she and Sailor V are the same person) ditches it once she joins the team and her identity is never revealed due it.
- Dominikov from Murder Princess. Come to think of it, he kinda resembles a more family-friendly◊ version of the image up top... usually◊ (he's the one on the right).
- Parodied in One Piece. Zoro was fighting Braham whose guns shoot bright flashes to blind his opponents from seeing the bullets. Believing that the goggles should protect his eyes so he can fight properly, he put them on, declaring that they would protect him from the flashes... then his opponent calmly pointed out that the goggles had no shades, rendering them useless for this fight.
- Captain Eustass Kid however wears raised goggles as part of his normal fashion.
- Wanze of Cipher Pol. is a chef who wears googles on his forehead. In an SBS question corner, the author said that they were to prevent him form crying when he chops onions. In response to another reader's statement that onions irritate the nose to cause tears, Oda said that Wanze sticks them in his nostrils.
- Quatre Raberba Winner of Gundam Wing has a pair of goggles. The practical way to use them would be for crossing the desert - the only time he does wear them is inside his Gundam.
- Quatre's goggles are more for sentimental value; the prequel novel Episode Zero shows that they belonged to Rashid, leader of the Maganac Corps, and mark the young man as one of them, which makes the Maganacs the first real friends he ever had.
- Gadgeteer Genius Heihachi of Samurai 7 always wears a "pilot's helmet" on his head, which has goggles on it, which he never has over his eyes (which are always closed anyway). He's shown actually wearing the goggles in one episode during a heavy rain storm, but it still doesn't explain the pilot's hat though.
- In Wei▀ Kreuz, both Ken and Omi wear goggles as part of their mission clothes. Averted in the last episode (and lampshaded in the accompanying outtakes for this and an earlier episode), when Omi actually uses his to see the infrared beams.
Omi: Finally a use for these goggles I've been wearing for 24 episodes.
- Played straight with the nonsensical orange jacket Ken wears around his waist as well.
- In Bakemonogatari, Oshino Shinobu wears a motorcycle helmet and goggles, despite appearing to be maybe six or eight years old and spending most of her time sitting around in the shade.
- Canada from Axis Powers Hetalia sports a pair of goggles on his head in a few illustrations of his military uniform. Oddly enough, his brother America is the one who wears a uniform resembling that of a pilot, but only is drawn with goggles once or twice.
- Considering Canada's WW2 role as the airplane manufacturing/flight training center for most of the British Empire and the fact that his uniform seems to include a parachute, he's probably a bombardier or navigator, so the goggles aren't totally superfluous.
- The Protagonist from Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V, Yuya Sakaki wears goggles without practical purpose. Though, he uses them to hide his feelings.
- Subverted with Yuto in his first appearance. They protect him from flying debris, but they break. After that, he ditches them since his next appearance.
- Chandra, a Planeswalker in Magic: The Gathering, wears a pair of goggles on her brow.
- As did Jaya Ballard, whom Chandra is arguably an Expy of. Going by flavor text, the reason appears to be that before becoming a Planeswalker, Chandra was trained in pyromancy by Jaya. So either it's Jaya's goggles passed down, she wanted to look like her teacher or she was simply told that goggles are a good thing when Playing with Fire.
- Although you never SEE her wear them, in the Webcomic series her face is covered in soot and ash, except for the goggle marks around her eyes. So conceivably, they actually DO do something.
- In the card Act on Impulse◊, Chandra finally gets serious and wears the goggles. She warns we don't want to know what happens when she does.
- Retro Girl of Powers used aviator goggles when flying, for some reason, despite being a level nine "We as a species just pray to dear God they're good folks" power.
- Bob Burden's Flaming Carrot wears flippers all the time, in case he needs to swim.
- Will Feral in Kingdom wears an aviator's hat and matching goggles for no particular reason. Dingo Star's shoulder pads and pouches might also count.
- Hellboy does not wear goggles. However, the fact that the filed-down horn stumps on his forehead were mistaken for goggles by many early fans goes to show how ubiquitous the "goggles as fashion accessory" idea is. Even Guillermo del Toro, the director of the movies, thought they were goggles.
- Averted in Garth Ennis's The Boys. One of the team's resident sociopathic anti-heroes, The Frenchman, initially appears to wear a pair of basic goggles on his bald head for purely aesthetic reasons. However, when he enters combat and draws them on to his eyes, their utility is quickly demonstrated as he rips his opponents apart like wet tissue paper and is immediately covered in viscera.
- Averted in Starman, where the hero's goggles protect his eyes from the odd conditions of flying at high altitude with an extremely bright staff.
- Hay Lin in W.I.T.C.H. likes to wear a pair of goggles just above her forehead.
- Jenny Everywhere.
- Punchy in The Intimates usually wears his goggles on his forehead, but whenever he's required to do a lot of moving around he'll pull them over his eyes. This is less a fashion statement and more a matter of comfort — the goggles are part of his costume, meaning he has to wear them constantly according to his Superhero School's rules, but wearing them over his eyes all day would be uncomfortable and pointless
- Depending on the artist, the Marvel Comics Foolkiller sometimes wears what appears to be goggles instead of the usual domino style mask.
- Adelleh in the Tales series of Looking for Group fanfiction is a crazy zombie priestess who wears green goggles for no apparent reason (then again much of what Adelleh does has no apparent reason), despite them being somewhat out of place in a medieval fantasy setting. Nobody knows why she wears them, but they've become her signature costume item.
- Retro, an original villain made for Can You Imagine That?, then reappears in Trouble Island and Calvin and Hobbes: The Series, wears a pair of these for no good reason.
- In the recent masterpiece by F. Bondarchuk Inhabited island the gear of an alien guardsman includes fa-abulous pink (!) ski goggles. They almost never put them on, even during shooting practice, obstacle courses (with fire barriers) and actual combat raids against insurgents.
- In Alien vs. Predator's director's commentary, the director said that originally only one character was to wear goggles on his head. The other cast members thought it looked cool, so they all wore goggles on their head... which meant they had to be fogged up so they wouldn't reflect the cameras.
- In Alien│, a prisoner preparing to violate Ripley slips his goggles over his eyes for some reason. Fridge Horror comes into play if you wonder whether they would actually serve a purpose in the events to follow.
- In Top Gun, the bad guys wore their visors at all times while flying, while the good guys never did.
- A character in Can't Hardly Wait wears goggles on his forehead. They are actual swimmer's goggles. He never goes swimming.
- Although the thermal goggles in Hollow Man actually do something quite important for the film's plot, a possibly unintentional Shout-Out occurs when the room fills with steam, prompting a character to declare "The goggles are worthless!"
- In Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014), both Raph and Mikey have sunglasses as part of their clothing, but both never use them. Mikey's don't even seem to be the same size as his face! Subverted with Donatello's high-tech scanners.
- Star Wars: The Force Awakens shows us a speeder bike pilot on a desert world with a pair of goggles... on her forehead.
- Randall in Time Bandits wears an old-fashioned flight helmet with the goggles always perched on his forehead, unused.
- In Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Supervillain, goggles are the trademark of the supervillain mad scientists, handed out when the community accepts you as a true Mad Scientist. The goggles are actually perfectly functional, but by the time anyone gets them, they've probably already bought or invented better ones, so most just wear them as a symbol.
Live Action TV
- In the new version of Battlestar Galactica, the Colonial Marines wear goggles on the top of their helmets, but they're very rarely actually worn and their exact purpose is never explained.
- Presumably, they're standard ballistic goggles like the kind we have today. The directors probably agreed to keep them there but leave them off due to Rule of Cool and so we could see the actors' faces.
- Mason's death in Dead Like Me. He was searching for the ultimate high and put a drill into his brain. He wore safety goggles.
- The trope name is said verbatim by Topher in a Dollhouse deleted scene where he tries on some goggles that are meant to go with his interactive computer screen.
- Jasper in The 100 wears goggles as a hat-like accessory.
- Selina sports goggles on top of her head in Gotham, in a nod to Catwoman's 2000s redesign by Darwyn Cooke.
- Doctor Steel was never seen without his goggles, regardless of his attire. Somewhat justified, as he was a roboticist and was seen in one video welding.
- Rabbit of Steam Powered Giraffe wears steampunk-style goggles on his hat.
- He finally gets to wear them in the music video for Automatonic Electronic Harmonics. Reportedly he was completely blind with them on
- Till Lindemann of Rammstein wears goggles in the original video for "Du Riechst So Gut" just because they look cool. Onstage, they have an obvious purpose.
- Elton John didn't really need glasses, he wore them as a tribute to Buddy Holly.
- Captain B. Zarr from The Party Zone, who wears aviator goggles and a propeller-topped polka-dotted aviator helmet just because.
- Konnan goggles had a tint, so they might have had some use. Except he worse these during his Filthy Animal WCW run, where the large majority of events were indoors. So what they did was probably impede his vision.
- As a wrestler, Leva Bates wears goggles to protect herself from eye pokes (she's made use of other "armor" such as headphones to block out Jillian Hall's singing) As a referee though, the goggles serve no purpose besides restricting peripheral vision.
- In Borderlands, Patricia Tannis, an archaeologist, constantly wears aviator goggles. Gaige of Borderlands 2 also wears a pair of goggles on her head that she never puts on.
- In a wasteland with, as shown in some areas, lots of blowing dust. She's encountered indoors, though, so has no need to keep them down - unlike a lot of the outdoor NPCs (who take great care to keep wrapped up, for the most part, against the elements, including goggles).
- In the original game, Roland and Mordecai both have goggles. Mordecai at least wears his over his eyes, while Roland's remain up on his forehead.
- In Psychonauts, Raz lowers his goggles over his eyes before entering a person's mind... for no apparent purpose. In "The Milkman Conspiracy," this becomes lampshaded by the interrogative Men In Black: "Who are you?" "Who is the Milkman?" "What is the purpose of the goggles?" It's then subverted when the boss threatens to pluck out his eyes:
Razputin: Ha, you can't! That is the purpose of the goggles.
- The boss responds by turning all the lights off, rendering the goggles decorative again, though it does still keep her from plucking out his eyes.
- Kingdom of Loathing has an accessory known as beer goggles. The enchantment is "They do Nothing!"
- Ironically, said enchantment allows them to be pulverized into twinkly powder (as opposed to useless powder). Which means that the fact that they do nothing means they do something. But if they do something, they can't do nothing. But if they don't do nothing, then they can't do that something... ow, my brain.
- City of Heroes and City of Villains have goggle appearances, including ones always stay on the forehead. Like every other cosmetic choices, there's no gameplay result.
- Which actually means that every single piece of your equipment, other than any weapon-based powers are an example of this trope. Some good examples would include things like utility belts, wings, armor, bandoliers, extra swords/guns, tails, and claws.
- Weirdly averted in Champions Online, where one of the various upgrade items is a pair of goggles. The text for it reads something like "Actually does something."
- You can choose to have Goggles for a head item, an eye item, and a neck piece, leading to three pair of goggles, only one of which is on your eyes but all of which are purely aesthetic.
- In the WarioWare series, Wario wears his goggles when riding his motorcycle but Mona doesn't wear hers on her scooter, her monkey wears even wears his goggles.
- Oddly enough, in Dragon Quest II both the Prince of Lauraisa and the Prince of Cannock wear goggles as part of their headgear. While this may be justified by the fact both live close to small patches of desert, they're never shown actually using them. (The Princess, meanwhile, doesn't get any goggles of her own.)
- None of the many goggles in Fallout 3 have a stat bonus other than armor class, and they're both harder to find replacement components and no better as armor than glasses that do have stat bonuses.
- In addition, some of the costumes and headgear in the game feature goggles. This means that if a player wants he can have one pair on a helmet, one pair around his neck (as part of the costume) and at the same time wearing a pair.
- In Final Fantasy VI, Goggles are an equippable item, which prevent blindness. Unfortunately, a glitch with the Evasion stat in the game made it so blindness doesn't affect the accuracy of physical attacks as it's supposed to, making them useless. The Goggles, quite literally, do nothing. This was fixed in the remake. Sadly, the goggles aren't actually drawn on your character. Ironically, the Blind status effect (rendered irrelevant by the above-mentioned glitch aside from preventing Strago from learning enemy spells) does make a character look like they're wearing goggles.
- In Final Fantasy VII, while Cid never uses his goggles in the intended manner, despite actually being a pilot, they do provide a nice place for him to stick his pack of cigarettes. Reno also boasts a pair, except without cigarettes, seeing as he's a very competent helicopter pilot.
- Rikku from Final Fantasy X wears a pair of goggles in her swimwear. When she takes it off, there's another pair of goggles underneath. She never wears these.
- The Cid of Final Fantasy XIV wears a pair of goggles up on his forehead, not because as an engineer he may need them at any time, but to hide the Third Eye that marks him as a pure-blooded Garlean.
- Baird from Gears of War has goggles that seem to serve no apparent purpose... but being the squad's self-proclaimed Smart Guy and Mr. Fixit, they would seem to have a potential use for him. Averted in Gears of War 2, as in the part where Delta Squad rides Reavers, he puts the goggles over his eyes, since they are flying.
- Funnily enough, Baird does wear his goggles properly as part of his 'Mechanic Baird' multiplayer skin. They still don't do anything, but at least it makes sense now.
- Also, Dom has a gigantic Ka-Bar-esque knife strapped to his chest. Guess when he actually pulls it out?
- Both titular characters (even though one is an otter-weasel hybrid) in the Jak and Daxter series wear goggles around their heads. In Jak's case this trope is averted: his goggles are useful in the first game for sniping out enemies and Dark Eco crystals using yellow Eco; in the third he wears them while out in the desert.
- In Kingdom Hearts, Cid and Goofy wear goggls. Though it's possible that Cid may use the goggles while working on Gummi ships, it's hard to imagine what use they would serve for a Captain of the Guard who uses shields as weapons.
- In Lego Star Wars II, some of the NPCs in the Mos Eisley Cantina and in the Tatooine levels are wearing what appear to be bucket hats with goggles around the crown. This hat can also be chosen in the character builder. These have no effect on gameplay, but boy, do they ever look cool.
- The protagonist of Persona 3 has an MP3 player around his neck, with headphones hanging on his chest. Except for the opening cutscene, he never uses them onscreen. Although Fuuka upgrades the headphones at the end of her Social Link, and the upgraded headphones unlock the Scathach persona
- The player is then referenced in a bit of a Mythology Gag in which lancer and Butt Monkey Yousuke(Voiced by the same voice actor as P3's protagonist) is shown to also be wearing an MP3 player. He's actually shown wearing them in battle, even tapping his foot (Though not quite in-time to the battle music, sadly.) And shown taking them off post-battle.
- Lampshaded in Red Alert 3 where one of the allied units (who wear goggles) say when clicked on "The googles! Zey do nothink!".
- In Sonic Adventure, Dr. Ivo "Eggman" Robotnik wears not only goggles that never leave the top of his head, but also spectacles. So he couldn't wear his goggles even if he wanted to. The only time he actually wears his goggles in in one scene in Sonic Adventure 2, where he dons them for dramatic purposes. Of course, they're back on top of his head in all of the scenes immediately following.
- The Heroes in Sonic Riders wear goggles even before they know they're going to compete in a hoverboard competition, and once they start competing, they never put their goggles over their eyes. This isn't so for the antagonistic Babylon Rogues. Amusingly, in addition to not being used, their sunglasses/goggles are far too small to actually be worn.
- There are goggle sprites in the original Sonic the Hedgehog. See them here. They were removed from the game before being programmed to do anything. It's speculated that they were intended to be SCUBA gear.
- Tales of Hearts's Hisui has a pair of goggles that flip randomly between the top of his head and around his neck. He actually keeps them on in battle and off when out of it, but no particular significance is given for that.
- Rita, of Tales of Vesperia, has a pair worn on her forehead that do absolutely nothing. She also apparently has a pair of glasses tucked into the collar of her shirt that are never used.
- Team Fortress 2.
- The Engineer has goggles, which do nothing gameplay-related. However, the way he looks without googles is so freaky to some that it ascended to Memetic Mutation as the "Staregineer".
- The Medic received a pair of mad scientist goggles as a hat option in one update. Their description consists of just one word: "Nothing"
- Scout now has the Planeswalker Goggles, which are supposed to keep the bugs out of his eyes as he runs, but considering you never see bugs in-game, they really do nothing. (Although wearing them with the Bombing Run makes him look like Raz).
- Theoretically, goggles/hats/wigs/doo-rags do do something, in a subtle manner: They distinguish newbies/Free-To-Play players (who don't have/can't get hats) from experienced players, help distinguish strangers from friends, and show what other games the player owns if they have a buy-in bonus.
- The goggles Hwoarang from the Tekken series wears but never puts over his eyes. There is a cutscene in Tekken 5 (and Dark Resurrection), where Hwoarang is riding his motorbike... With the goggles still up on his hair.
- Warcraft III has an ending credits movie, in which Archimonde is "filming" a movie, complete with several takes. In one take, there's a dragon attack, and while running away, someone says "The goggles! They do nothing!!"
- One of the new quests in Cataclysm gives a pair of safety goggles. It's pretty obvious what they do. (They do have armor, but less than a helmet (which occupies the same slot) would generally give.)
- The mage Tier 13 set◊ has what looks like a pair of glowing goggles - on the forehead. They are meant to just look cool as the particular set has been dubbed "Technomage."
- Super Robot Wars' Ratsel Feinschmecker wears enormous aviator goggles as a Paper-Thin Disguise, in homage to Char Aznable's similar trick with Cool Shades. They're useless because the disguise fools absolutely no one.
- The main character of Izuna: Legend of the Unemployed Ninja wears a pair of strange triangular goggles that are never used.
- Beaux from Atelier Annie wears a pair of goggles on his head that he's never actually seen using as protective eyewear. One of his alchemy requests is for you to make a Glass Sphere to help him repair one of the lenses, which makes one wonder...what exactly does the boy use the goggles for, anyway?
- The Sims 2 has goggles you can wear on your forehead, but not over your eyes. A lot of user made content involves giving your character other equipment such as weaponry, backpacks, etc. that don't do anything.
- Okay, so it's not goggles, but Shadow Hearts: Covenant has Yuri, wearing a small satchel on his back (with trailing buckle-straps). While one could argue that's where the millions of random items you collect or buy over the course of the game end up stashed, you never see Yuri use it. Seems he took a few traveling tips from Lara Croft.
- Soldier of Fortune. The night vision goggles do almost nothing. And enemies can still see you in the darkness without night vision.
- In Soldier Of Fortune 2, thermal goggles allowed you to see through walls (but were less compatible with sniper rifles).
- In Halo: Reach, you can personalize your Spartan with various different helmets, shoulder pieces, etc. Despite many of them having obvious bonuses (extra armor, grenades, etc.) all the changes are cosmetic.
- In Vacant Sky, there's a tombstone that literally reads:
RIP Jiroriseth MossThe goggles did nothing
- Flak in Advance Wars wears goggles and a helmet. No-one's quite clear on why Flak would need head protection.
- Also Eagle, who always wears his goggles around his neck. Apparently they're his lucky goggles. He IS a pilot, though.
- In Nostalgia, Melody's pointy witch hat sports a pair of goggles for some reason. She never wears them.
- A variant: The Leather Armor in Fable has a dagger in a sheath attached to the sleeve. You can't do anything with it, but it looks cool.
- Captain Rush of Time Crisis wears a pair of orange goggles around his neck. Being a US Army soldier and all, you'd think they'd come in handy...
- Inzaghi in Blaze Union and Yggdra Union.
- Velgas in Gloria Union.
- The Alchemist from Torchlight wears them proudly in the loading screen and other art. All classes can wear helms that show up as just goggles, and in the case of the Vanquisher the goggles strap ties up her ponytail as well.
- Portal 2: The Goo Gear Snorkel item from summer 2011 for the co-op robots don't really help much against the deadly goo in the test chamber levels.
- Terraria, you can craft goggles out of two lenses (as in the organ itself), they do nothing more than give one measly point of defense so they're more for decoration than anything for your character. During Halloween, the Steampunker sells steampunker goggles that are completely vanity only and their not even worn over the character's eyes compared to the former example.
- Used as an achievement in Guild Wars 2, the player character must don a pair of goggles (and nothing else but their underwear), and proceed to dive into a pool of lava from an immense height. As the fall will kill the player character due to the height before the lava even does any damage, the goggles really didn't help at all.
- Luka Allen Smithee of The Wonderful 101 has a pair of goggles that are more or less just decoration. Subverted in the epilogue, in which he becomes "Wonder Goggles", and they fire laser blasts.
- The character of Jyrras Gianna from Dan and Mab's Furry Adventures gains goggles in his new outfit, which are never used. Doubly unnecessary, in that he also wears glasses (which he doesn't need but wears for image's sake). He did use goggles during the non-canon spy spoof arc, but their only purpose was to hide his eyes, as villains are not allowed to be 'cute'.
- Used every which way in Girl Genius, as befits its mad science milieu.
- Wooster wears goggles and a leather jacket when he's using Gil's open-cockpit flyer and unlike most media, actually LOOKS like he's been in an open-cockpit aircraft (dirty with visible marks where he's had the goggles over his eyes to see.)
- Parodied (maybe) in Penny Arcade with the character of Charles. Ever since his redesign, he has kept a pair of goggles on his forehead. Lampshaded when he gets asked if he's going swimming.
- Hell, Zaraki Yagami of Mitadake Saga's alias -is- The Boy with Goggles. They don't come in useful
- The heavy use of this trope in steampunk is lampshaded in this Hark! A Vagrant.
- The Commander in Manly Guys Doing Manly Things has these. Lampshaded here.
- Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal presents to us the advanced rules for Rock, Paper, Scissors. As the Alt-text/Votey specifically points out: Goggles: They Do Nothing
- Weregeek gives us this.
- Pocky Robot parodies subversions of this at end of this strip.◊
- Averted, in Gunnerkrigg Court here, and then lampshaded in Tom's rant.
- Since a character redesign, Shelly Mander of Femmegasm wears goggles for no reason.
- Homestuck: The trope name is referenced by Meenah upon encountering Kanaya, who glows because she is a rainbow drinker. Meenah is blinded by the glare and says, "The goggles do nothing [to help]."
- In Hanna Is Not a Boy's Name, Veser wears a pair of goggles around his neck. A partial example, since it helps with his shark motif, and may somehow be related to the fact that his mother is a selkie.
- Jenny Everywhere: aviator goggles are part of her basic character design, even though she's not necessarily an aviatrix in most stories. That Jenny is keen on adventure does leave open the potential for subversion, though...
- Played straight in one origin story, where she buys an old pair simply because they make her "look awesome".
- Another story has it that she was Amelia Earheart's daughter, and inherited them.
- The Genesis of Jenny Everywhere (another origin story for a different version of Jenny) offers no obvious explanation why she wears them, but the fact is lampshaded constantly.
- Mad Scientist Dr. Horrible wears goggles on his forehead; he does no more than adjust them until the end, when he becomes a true villain.
- That Guy with the Glasses.com has That Chick with the Goggles.
- http://www.southperry.net has a goggle smiley inspired in part by one of MapleStory 's bosses, Rellik◊, and in part by The Simpsons quote below. The goggles became wildly popular, and people began editing their avatars to include them. Nexon (MapleStory's publisher in North America) saw this and created Gachapon (egg-machine that requires real money in exchange for random items) only goggles equippable by players. There is an inscription on them stating "Who says the goggles do nothing?"
- Alex Steacy of LoadingReadyRun wears welding goggles at all times, apparently for the look.
- In Mitadake High, one of the characters wears goggles (and is in fact referred to as The Boy With Goggles). There are a number of ways to inflict temporary blindness on other players, and Goggles is no exception to them. More than once somebody playing Goggles has yelled the memetic phrase after being blinded.
- Stuart Ashen invokes this trope at the end of his Cyber FX review, in which the eponymous goggles are rather useless.
- Vdex Project once had goggles in the Secondhand Shop. Lampshaded in the achievement you get when you buy them.
- Many in The League of S.T.E.A.M. wear goggles (it's steampunk, what do you expect?) but they rarely seem to be used for anything.
- Liam Dryden of the band Chameleon Circuit sports a fairly awesome pair at times, notably in live concerts, his "Time Travel" outfit, and when he and Alex Day are raiding Wal-Mart. Liam even lampshades the fact that he just wears them on his head as a Nice Hat most of the time in the Wal-Mart video.
- The Plumber Knight Returns: Mario has goggles as part of his new costume, but only puts them on while suiting up, wearing them around his neck otherwise.
- Launchpad in DuckTales wears his goggles atop his head. He only wears them over his eyes once or twice in the entire series.
- The Trope Namer is a line from Rainier Wolfcastle acting the lead role in the Radioactive Man movie from The Simpsons. Note that in this case the goggles were supposed to do something, they just didn't work.
- Happens in Kim Possible with the "future" gear of "A Sitch In Time". The "future hat" also does nothing.
- Subverted in Generator Rex by Rex and Caesar, who use their respective goggles several times in situations where they are actually needed.
- Frida from El Tigre. In one episode, after her goggles fall off and break, Frida shrieks, "Those are prescription!" However, she rarely, if ever, wears them over her eyes.
- Ōban Star-Racers has Molly, who, being a Star Racer pilot (basically a podracer pilot) always wears her goggles on her forehead and has even been seen sleeping in them. However, since inside her vehicle she is safely concealed behind a plastic dome, she doesn't really need to protect her eyes. Since her mother also wore a pair, which are constantly seen in flashbacks on top of her head, chances are very high that Molly initially got hers because they looked like her mother's.
- Transformers Animated is fond of this:
- Blitzwing◊ has goggles built into the helmet of his robot mode head. Not only does he A) Not wear them, B) Not need them, what with being a robot and all, C) Could not pull them down over his eyes even if he did, but D) his "angry" face already has a red visor over its eyes and his "calm" face has a monocle, which means that he is essentially wearing two pairs of equally-useless goggles! Blitzwing is the KING of Goggles Do Nothing.
- Prometheus Black still wears his visor thing even after turning into a sentient mass of acid. Maybe it's so we don't have to see whatever the hell his eyes must look like.
- And once again Jetfire has aviator goggles that are apparently part of his head.
- The kiwi from Kiwi! dons a pair of pilots goggles before jumping off the cliff. But he doesn't ever use them.
- Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers: Both Monterey Jack and Gadget wear goggles on their head as part of their normal outfit, but rarely (as in, maybe once or twice ever) wear them over their eyes. This despite the fact that they fly around in a high-speed air vehicle without a windscreen all the time.
- Once Monterey wears his normal flightcap goggles on his head and a second pair actually over his eyes.
- In Teen Titans, it's not really clear why Terra wears goggles. She rarely uses them and they look more like swim goggles than anything. Also, her power involves controlling rocks, which the goggles wouldn't protect against anyway.
- When she rides a rock as she levitates it, the goggles may protect against the wind. They may also protect against dust and dirt that get flung around when she moves rocks.
- Many of the racers of Wacky Races and all four pilots of Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines (as well as Yankee Doodle Pigeon) have headgear with goggles, but at no time do the goggles go to use protecting the eyes.
- Once in awhile, Wacky Racer Red Max will have his goggles covering his eyes.
- Unlike his teammates who has helmet visors Air Enforcer of the Skysurfer Strike Force has goggles that even in mid-flight he never uses.
- Dex Hamilton: Alien Entomologist: Jenny, Zap and Tung all wear goggles. Jenny and Zap never wear them over their eyes, while Tung never takes his off his eyes.
- For some time, Drew Carey's glasses were only a prop and did not actually correct his vision; he had eye surgery and didn't need glasses. They're bifocals now, though.
- They did however serve a subtle subtextual purpose : stating that Drew Carey once was a Marine. He only wore BCGs - the heavy-duty, wide plastic glasses (formerly) issued by the military. Supposedly ugly enough to serve as Birth Control, hence the acronym.
- Neon coloured goggles are popular in rave and Cybergoth culture, purely for aesthetic reasons.
- Ditto Steampunk, though their goggles tend to be more monochrome, made of brass and have gadgets on them.
- Rivethead as well.
- Even Cyberpunk is guilty of this with its signature mirrorshades- though they might be waiting for display glasses.
- Some pairs of rave goggles even have a grate under the lens, making them harder to see through than shutter shades.
- In certain accessory stores, such as Claire's or Icing, it is possible to buy rectangular-lensed, black-and-neon-framed nerd-looking glasses that do nothing. In fact, because real glasses dirty so easily, unless the buyer polishes them almost constantly they'll partially obscure her vision.
- Some people actually wear these spectacle frames without any lens because of the last sentence.
- US Army soldiers are all issued ballistic safety goggles to protect against dust and shrapnel, and almost every unit has the standard that they be secured to the Kevlar helmet over the special clamp that is used to mount a separate night vision device. This is a uniform standard, but the goggles themselves are difficult to use in this configuration, and likely become deformed, scratched, uncomfortable, or too cumbersome to use as eye protection. With the change in the US army to a brimless helmet, the goggles (normally covered by a cloth sleeve) work better as a brim to shade they eyes than they do when used as intended. Furthermore, soldiers are all issued ballistic sunglasses, which are usually worn (as intended) in addition to the mostly useless goggles on their helmets. The main reason you never see this in TV or movies is that the glasses cause horrible reflection and distortion, and goggles further have a tendency to fog up, making this "protective gear" potentially fatal in combat. Most soldiers will have multiple pairs of goggles and some even use them as intended, but the ones already on the helmet are the least likely to see actual use.
- People's Liberation Army Marine Corps. Never were they once shown wearing their standard issue goggles over their eyes ◊, even when they require eye protection they wear their own, leaving the issued goggles on their helmets/tuques. ◊ Can be justified by the same reasons as the American army example above.
- Ancient Greek soldiers had a habit of tipping their Corinthian helms up to rest on their foreheads for comfort when out of combat. This led to a style of helm known as the Italo-Corinthian, which was meant to be worn as a cap but still had eye holes and a nose-guard that no longer served any purpose whatsoever, other than looking cool.
- Many blind people wear sunglasses.
- Depending on the cause of the blindness, this is often so other people can't see their eyes, for reasons ranging from self-consciousness about not being able to control the direction they're "looking," to not wishing to alarm or distract people.
- Some blind people have perfectly normal and functional eyes, but just can't receive the signals. To avoid actually damaging their eyes from the sun, they wear sunglasses.
- German general Erwin Rommel was always seen wearing a pair of goggles pushed up over his cap. While this was part of his carefully cultivated image as the Desert Fox, the goggles also served a practical function: in the desert in a moving vehicle, sand and grit will be blown back into your face and eyes. Especially in vehicles where the glass windscreen has been removed as dangerous and impractical (it reflects the sun, and if hit will throw glass fragments around). For that reason, sand goggles were widely issued to both sides. Rommel continued to wear his sand goggles in Italy and France, where the practical need for them was a lot less.