|
Lots of works ask questions. Some of these are rhetorical questions, never designed to be answered. Some of them are big questions that drive the entire plot. You could be respectful and wait for the work to finish addressing these questions. Or, you could be a jerk and give a sarcastic answer right now. This page is for the second one. Answer a rhetorical question. Make snarky responses to a work's driving question. Go ahead, this is a Just for Fun page. That kind of stuff is allowed. Warning: unmarked spoilers.
Not to be confused with Ask a Stupid Question... which refers to questions acknowledged in-universe as being stupid..
Examples
open/close all folders
Advertising
- This is your brain. This is your brain on drugs. Any questions? - Yeah: does alcohol count as a drug? Just, coz, y'know, the frying doesn't really work as a metaphor with booze... Great, now you've made me hungry. Can I have the egg, please?
- Can I have my brain scrambled with toast?
- Are you going to eat my brain? Because I'm really hungry. Mostly from doing drugs.
- Yes. What are you on? I have been on so many mushrooms that I have seen the sky rip asunder, a UFO come down, take me aboard, and the crew explain to me all the secrets of the universe, but I have never, ever, EVER thought that an egg was a fuckin' brain! Now, it's being eaten by a hobbit riding a unicorn, but it's still an egg!
- Yeah, what are you on? Looks like a frying pan and some eggs to me.
- If my brain is a raw egg, and my brain on drugs is a cooked egg, wouldn't drugs be good for my brain, as they would kill bacteria?
- What's in your wallet?- Lemme see, there's a 1, a 5, a condom, my driver's license...
- It's 11:00: do you know where you children are?- I told you last night, no!.
- Wait, I have children? Why wasn't I told?
- How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
- What would you do for a Klondike bar?
- Dine... in hell!!!!
- Go to the store's freezer section, take one out, take it to the checkout, pay the price plus tax, and leave.
- Take it from this guy as he leaves the store. Should save me about three bucks.
- Where do you want to go today?
- Where's the beef?
Anime
Comic Books
- What, are you dense?
- Are you retarded or something?
- Who the hell do you think I am?
- Rho, I don't think so.
- No, I'm kinda sparse.
- Who watches the Watchmen?
Film
Literature
Live Action TV
- Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Ooh! Me me me!
- But not Bill Gates.
- Mostly because if he became a millionaire he'd have to give up his billionaire status.
- I do! I do!
- Who shot J.R.? - Lee Harvey Oswald.
- What makes a man a man? Am I a man?" Yes. Technically.
- Brain and brain, what is brain? It's a large organ inside your skull. But that's not important right now.
- Doctor Who?
- Smith, John Smith.
- Exactly!
- McNinja.
- (Singing) Doctor Zaius,Doctor Zaius!
- ...Hugh...wait no, some bizarre equation...wait no, Bobbie. Yep, that's it.
- He's the guy on first, isn't he?
- What?
- No, he's on second.
- Not that kind.
- ...You didn't ask that on the fields of Trenzalore did you? Because if you did we're in some serious shit.
- Who was that masked man??
- "Who will be...the Deadliest Warrior?"
- Me, that's who.
- Always bet on Duke.
- SHAQ! (Cuz' he can dig it.)
- The least dead warrior.
- The zombies after they zombify the Spartans.
- What do you want?
- What's the name of that song?
- Whose line is it, anyway?
- Who is Number 1?
Music
- Why Does it Always Rain on Me? - Because you live in Scotland - get over it.
- "What Made the Red Man Red?" - Racism.
- Why don't we do it in the road? No one will be watching us.
- We'll be run over.
- It will be really dirty and uncomfortable.
- Because there's a dead possum there.
- Right in front of the abbey? Ew, no!
- How did 64 get in there? - It's eight squared, don't you see.
- Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? - Just like you, they're uncritically attracted to shiny objects.
- Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
- Who Wrote the Book of Love? - A masochist.
- Who are you? Who? Who? Who? Who? - I'm a policeman, you don't have to know my name!
- It seems you really want to know. Too bad.
- Yes, I play first on the Troper Baseball Team/
- Just who the hell do you think I am?
- I'm the Doctor.
- Who let the dogs out?
- How many roads must a man walk down?
- I'm Made of Wax, Larry, What are you made of?
- What is love?
- What would you do if I sang out of tune? - I would stand up and walk out on you.
- I would turn off the radio.
- Ask you to stop singing.
- Yes, because your singing it bad and you should feel bad.
- Is this love that I'm feeling? Is this love that's been keeping me up all night?
- No. That would be insomnia.
- Why Don't You Get A Job? - I blame the recession. And this website.
- Pleased to meet you. Won't you guess my name?
- Rumpelstiltskin, gimme my baby back.
- Could it be... SATAN?!
- Trick question - you have many names.
- George Lucas.
- No. If you want to introduce yourself, you can tell me your name like a normal person, damn it.
- He won't because he's Doo liss. ...Confound it, he stole a letter from my keyboard! Again!
- Your name is Not-Bob.
- Only if you guess mine.
- What is this feeling?
- War, huh! What is it good for?
- "Oh, say can you... and the hooooome of the braaaaaaaave?"
- Oh, won't you please take me home?
- What is this that stands before me?
- Is there anybody going to listen to my story?
- I've got about three minutes. Make it quick.
- Why can't we be friends?
- Because you're kind of a jerk...
- Why did Constantinopole get the works?
- Ask the Turks.
- They were conquered by people who had a different religion.
- What can I tell you, my brother, my killer? What could I possibly say?
- "Next time, check the safety on that thing"?
- Why can't I be you?
- Because I'm not done being me yet.
- How many people want to kick some ass?
- Why do we never get an answer when we're knocking at the door with a thousand different questions about hate and death and war?
- Next time, ask the questions one at a time.
- How will I know if he really loves me?
Professional Wrestling
- DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING?
- Yeah...and it stinks!
- IT DOESN'T MATTER IF IT STINKS!
- Hells yeah, it smells delicious!
- Is that...roast beef?
- Is it... stone soup?
- No. I don't have a nose.
- What you gonna do... when Hulkamania runs wild on you?
- Miz: Really? Really?
- Can you dig it... SUCKAAAAA?!?!
Theatre
Tropes
Video Games
Western Animation
Other
- Did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?
- Yeah, so?
- That's against the rules, isn't it?
- Actually, there are several situations in which it is perfectly within the rules to summon more than one monster in a turn. It's called a Special Summon. Look at your freakin' rulebook.
- Screw the Rules, I Have Money!!
- Screw the rules, I have green hair!
- Where's Waldo? In hiding.
- Who is The Question: Charles Victor Szazs A.K.A. Vic Sage and Renee Montoya.
- How do hedgehogs reproduce?
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
- What's it all about, really, when you get right down to it?
- What's your name?
- Lemon Curry?
- Until the word Maudling is almost totally obscured.
- Will X and Y get together?
- How is babby formed? How girl get pragnent?
- When girl gets male gametes all in her mature female gamete or gametes, embryo attaches to uterine wall, absorbs nutrition from girl, and grows into babby.
- "Special hugging" between ignorant people.
- Well, when a stork and a cabbage love each other very much...
- When was the War of 1812 fought?
- 1813. Both sides were terrible procrastinators.
- What is the answer to this question?
- WhY mY ShOuLdErS hUrT?
- How's school?
- What time is it?
- Why can't I hold all these limes?
- Because you're trying to type and carry fruit at the same time, and you only have two hands. Maybe a basket of some sort would help.
Subversions
- Who is buried in Grant's tomb?
- No one: The tomb isn't underground.
- When was the War of 1812 fought?
- How long was The Hundred Years War?
- About 116 years, give or take.
- How long was The Thirty Years' War?
- Thirty years, or forty-one if you include the Franco-Spanish War.
- Twenty-nine.
- "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?"
- Why do we have to climb that mountain?
- Because it's there!
- That's where we parked.
- You might feel obligated. I'm not climbing the damn thing unless there's something in it for me.
- What was the color of George Washington's white horse?
- What colour is a white rhino?
- Black. The word "white" in the name is a mistranslation and really should be "wide".
|
|
