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Blessed Are the Cheesemakers

"Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese."
G. K. Chesterton note 

Ah, cheese. It's just one of those Inherently Funny Foods that shows up quite often in the TV Universe and can be used for either good or evil. Perhaps it has something to do with how odd a food it is, when you stop to think of it. You squeeze a creamy white liquid from a cow, stir it a long time, mix in fungi, and leave it to basically rot. And then you eat it. Makes sense.

A popular treat for mice and rats (in real life, any fatty food will do; peanut butter being more popular), and Trademark Favourite Food of the Surrender Monkey.

For some reason (probably regarding the Rule of Perception) Cartoon Cheese always comes in wheels or wedges of something holey that, if pressed for specifics, most people would call "Swiss cheese". Some mature varieties may have visible stink lines.

The Trope Namer is a line in Monty Python's Life of Brian.note 

Not to be confused with The Power of Cheese. That trope is about products in general being portrayed as having amazing powers. This one is literally about cheese.

Examples

    open/close all folders 

    Advertising 
  • The American Dairy Association's "Behold, the Power of Cheese" and "Don't Forget The Cheese" ads.
  • Any snack marketed as "Cheese Flavored".
    • But not "cheez". Note that genuine cheese will see its authenticity as Serious Business.
  • An interesting example often used in anthropology to illustrate cultural differences concerns cheese. Namely that a French company trying to market their cheese in the US never quite got that Americans generally don't view cheese as "alive" and tends to be grossed out when it is portrayed like that.

    Anime 

    Card Games 
  • The Cheese stands alone! How heroic.
    • And to think, it was reprinted as a legal card, Barren Glory.
  • In the Cheapass game "The Great Brain Robbery", you can't win with government cheese.
  • In Munchkin, a Limburger Sandwich is a +3 item that also gives an instant victory against the Floating Nose.

    Comics 
  • Astérix
    • Asterix in Switzerland shows the Romans indulging in a fondue orgy. Before long everybody is covered with sticky molten cheese.
      "He lost his piece of bread in the fondue a third time!"
      "Into the lake with weights tied to his feet!"
    • Asterix in Corsica features a Corsican cheese whose fumes ignite and blow up a ship.
  • Milk and Cheese. For those who haven't heard of it, it's a comic about two anthropomorphic "Dairy Products Gone Bad". Most of the time, they're shown delivering violent "justice" to aspects of pop culture.
  • In the The Sandman graphic novels, in "The Wake", Destruction requests some Wensleydale, and comments that Olympus practically ran on cheese.

    Fan Works 
  • The Fullmetal Alchemist fanfic "On the Highway to Healing" has a character who had been put in prison for several months escape, return home, and find that a moldering piece of cheese left behind in his refrigerator had grown, mutated, and become sentient. ]
  • In Uninvited Guests, Matsumoto incapicitates near two dozen 11 Squad members, by setting up a plate of cheese in a hallway and when any 11 division members tries to touch it, hit them on the back of their heads and shoving them in a closet. Yeah, it's that kind of story.

    Films — Animation 
  • Wallace & Gromit:
    • Wallace is obsessed with cheese, going so far as to build a rocket to the moon to collect cheese as well as not pursuing a relationship with a woman who was allergic to cheese. Yes, even Wensleydale.
    • Wallace & Gromit almost single-handedly kept Wensleydale from going extinct. There were only a few dairies who made it, and they were on the verge of going out of business until Wallace's cheese obsession sparked new interest in it.
  • An American Tail:
    There are no cats in America
    and the streets are paved with cheese.
  • A scene from The Emperor's New Groove has Kuzco and Yzma ordering at a restaurant (where Yzma's henchman Kronk is cooking) without either one knowing the other is there, and without Kronk realizing that he's talking to two different people. It involves a revolving door, Makes Sense In Context, and is uproariously funny:
    Kuzco: You know what? On second thought, make my omelette a meat pie.
    Kronk: Meat pie. Check.
    Yzma: Kronk. Can I order the potatoes as a side dish?
    Kronk: I'll have to charge you full price.
    Yzma: (growls in annoyance)
    Kuzco: Hey, how about a side of potatoes, buddy?
    Kronk: You got it. Want cheese on those potatoes?
    Yzma: Thank you, Kronk. Cheddar will be fine.
    Kronk: Cheddar spuds coming up.
    Kuzco: Spuds yes, cheese no.
    Kronk: Hold the cheese.
    Yzma: No, I want the cheese!
    Kronk: Cheese it is.
    Kuzco: Cheese, me no likey.
    Kronk: Cheese out.
    Yzma: Cheese in.
    Kronk: Ah, come on, make up your mind.
    Kuzco: Okay, okay, on second thought...
    Yzma and Kuzco: (together) Make my potatoes a salad.
  • "Typhoon cheese" is among the evil schemes that Megamind regrets that he will never be able to put into action. Yeah, we're just as disappointed as you are.
  • Max's friend Bobby from A Goofy Movie famously seems to be really into his canned cheese.

    Films — Live-Action 
  • Jeff Garlin's I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With.
  • Dead Men Dont Wear Plaid. The missing scientist has invented a cheese mold that can break down anything, so Those Wacky Nazis plan to use it to destroy the United States.
  • The following exchange from The Marx Brothers A Day at the Races:
    Man: Are you a man or a mouse?
    Groucho: Put a piece of cheese on the floor and you'll find out.
  • Benny & Joon. "Some cultures are defined by their relationship to cheese."
  • A silent documentary film made in the early 1900s showed cheese mites in a block of cheese as seen through a low power microscope. Filmgoers were grossed out and sales of cheese dropped alarmingly. But, on the bright side, sales of cheap microscopes took off.

    Literature 
  • Tiffany Aching from the Discworld novel Wintersmith is a very good cheesemaker, but the living, semi-sentient, mobile cheese was a mistake.
    • It should probably be clarified at this point that "mistake" meant it was a mistake that it turned out ambulatory, not that making it in the first place was a mistake. She fully intended to make a wheel of Lancre Blue Vein; she just didn't expect that the usual descriptors of it being a very robust and lively cheese to become literal all of a sudden.
      • When apprenticed to one witch who did everything in black, she even had to coat the cheese she made in black wax. She disliked the look of it, because it made it seem as though they, the cheeses, were plotting something.
    • Similarly, Mustrum Ridcully was briefly convinced Rincewind is, if not actually a cheese, a very good name for one.
    • The wizards have a cheese platter with hundreds of types of cheese. They're distressed at the thought it might be cut down to just three.
  • Thursday Next series:
    • In First Among Sequels, the Cheese Mafia specializes in delivering cheese so strong, it's considered toxic, a health hazard, and in some cases potentially deadly. Their strongest type is something called X-14, which must be kept in a lead container chained to the floor. Its very presence will set dogs barking for a wide radius.
    • A ludicrously high cheese tax to pay for the ongoing Crimean War led to cheese-smuggling from the Socialist Republic of Wales, but no-one really takes this "crime" seriously unless the Cheese Mafia are involved.
  • Alan Dean Foster's Codger Space, the sentience of the machines all starts when a drop of melted cheese interferes with the operation of the supercomputer that runs the plant where computer chips for virtually everything are made.
  • The Stinky Cheese Man
  • In The Ringworld Engineers, Louis Wu has gone cold turkey after years of current addiction. Sufferering from the inevitable withdrawal depression, he struggles to remember what made him happy before he became an addict:
    What's good besides the wire? Cheese. Sleeping plates. Love (impractical). Wild skin dye jobs. Freedom, security, self-respect...
  • Treasure Island:
    • Marooned pirate Ben Gunn is absolutely obsessed with cheese, one of the many foods he hasn't tasted in the last three years.
    • Dr. Livesey carries a snuffbox without any snuff in it — it contains his emergency rations, a small block of Parmesan cheese. It's implied that he wins Ben's confidence with it.
  • A quote from G. K. Chesterton:
    "The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese." Alarms and Discursions
  • The book by the same title, features two characters named Abbey Corrigan and Kit Stephens. "In a series of fantastic coincidences, the two end up at the Coolarney factory, a meeting that will forever change their lives and the future of cheese."
  • And Another Thing...; "Appease the cheese."
  • Star Wars Expanded Universe: Jagged Fel, raised by the blue-skinned Chiss, is compared to a variety of cheese made from blue milk that is indeed blue on the inside.
  • The protagonist of James Blaylock's "Balumnia" Trilogy is Jonathan Bing, a Cheesemaker.
  • The Cheese. That is all.
  • National Lampoon's Deteriorata reminds us to "Take heart in the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting enough cheese."
  • The Doctor Who Expanded Universe short story "Culture War" by Kate Orman reveals that the Doctor is friends with a long line of French cheesemakers, one of whom has stolen the life's work of her sister, a bacteriologist, out of jealousy because her work seemed more important. And to make better cheese, a point the sisters reconcile on.
  • In the Confederation of Valor series, the H'san apparently think Humans Are Special because we're the first species in the galaxy to invent cheese. So much so that in the Confederation Marine Corps the response to asking an expert in X "Can you do X?" is "Do the H'san like cheese?"
  • Libba Bray's Beauty Queens gives us this gem from Miss Michigan:
    "My family traditions are alcoholism and dysfunction," said Jennifer. "Oh, and anything you can make from government cheese."

    Live-Action TV 
  • The Cheese Shop sketch from Monty Python's Flying Circus.
    • A remarkable sketch in that it contains absolutely no cheese.
    • Fun fact: John Cleese's family name used to be "Cheese", before his father changed it. He has expressed dismay in this name change, hypothesizing that he would have used the Punny Name "Jack Cheese" had his father kept it.
    • Also, a French cinema parody Le Fromage Grande, which also had nothing to do with cheese.
  • Neelix's cheese almost destroys the ship in Star Trek: Voyager's "Learning Curve"
    B'Elanna: Get that cheese to sickbay.
  • Porthos is fed cheese despite the potential consequences on Star Trek: Enterprise.
  • On The Neighbors, Debbie teaches Reggie about Earth cooking.
    Reggie So.....you take the milk away from the baby cow and add bacteria to it...
    Debbie Please don't ruin cheese for me, Reggie....
  • On Wings, Fay is telling Roy's fortune and tries to deny the fact that she drew the death card by instead claiming it was the "cheese card".
  • The "Not The Cheese Shop Sketch Sketch" from The Young Ones.
    Customer: Excuse me, is this a cheese shop?
    Shopkeeper: (shaking head politely) ... No, sir.
    Customer: (to camera) Well, that's that sketch knackered, isn't it, then!
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer
    • "Restless": during this episode the main cast all falls asleep, and then has bizarre dreams filled with various prophetic or symbolic meanings. However, each dream also bizarrely includes "The Cheese Man," who appears with a tray of cheese and speaks in cryptic words like: "I wear the cheese; the cheese does not wear me" or "The cheese will not protect you". Every other portion of the dreams had some particular significance to the show or characters, but Word of God is that Joss Whedon wanted one part of the dreams to have absolutely no meaning, hidden, metaphorical or otherwise, and he claims that there is nothing to be learned from the Cheese Man or his actions. He reappears in "Storyteller."
    • Riley's famous pickup line "I like cheese." (He had previously learned from Willow that Buffy also enjoyed that particular foodstuff.)
  • The Red Green Show:
    • The "Homemade Cheese" episode.
    • A scale model of the human reproductive system built from cheese.
  • Brit Com producer Armando Iannucci likes his cheese:
  • Darnell from My Name Is Earl is a cheese aficionado, but was told to not reveal it when put on witness protection.
  • Family Matters: Cheese is Steve Urkel's Trademark Favorite Food.
  • Friends:
    • When Monica meets the man Phoebe believes is her soul mate (after she's married Chandler), they have a shared passion for cheese.
    Phoebe: They want to live in a house made of cheese. I don't know how you fight that.
    • "The One with All the Cheesecakes".
  • Mystery Science Theater 3000:
    • Earth vs. The Spider: Frank and Clayton make a telephone out of cheese. Joel insists they stole the idea from him.
    "And next week, we'll demonstrate our curdless phone."
    • In a later episode, Tom and Crow converted part of the Satellite of Love into a "micro-cheesery".
    • You can tell Mike Nelson wrote or influenced a joke if a riff mentions a cheese factory.
  • The Wire
    • Omar Little: "The cheese stands alone."
    • Cheese is also the moniker of Prop Joe's hilariously stupid nephew.
  • Scrubs. Turk loves cheese, and even though his girlfriend/wife is a native Spanish speaker, Turk only knows one word in Spanish. Once we see him munching on a huge block of cheese, which he offers to share with Carla's brother. "Queso?" Also, Turk being "drunk on cheese" according to JD.
  • In a rather disturbing example from Sonny With A Chance, Grady tells Nico that "there's three things I would never lie to you about. Money, food, and what's in my pants." Nico then asks (in a rather frightened manner) "What's in your pants?" Three guesses to what the answer is.
  • The Mighty Boosh: "Cheese is a kind of meat, a tasty yellow beef!"
  • The X-Files. In "Bad Blood", Scully complains of not having eaten anything all day but "half a cream cheese bagel, and it wasn't real cream cheese, it was light cream cheese!"
  • The West Wing: "In the main foyer of the White House, Andrew Jackson had a big block of cheese." note  In the spirit of Andrew Jackson's invite, Leo McGarry throws open the doors of the White House to those who would ordinarily be unlikely to receive the ear of the American government. They're supposed to do it once a month, but Josh quickly points out it's only been done a few times in their term. Additionally, it seems to attract the crackpots.
  • Wonderfalls has an nun who lost her faith because of the miracle of cheese.
    Katrina: It was the cheese. The cheese was my undoing. This is the miracle of life melted over these chili fries. The bacterial flirtation with enzymes. The co-mingling of friendly micro-organisms giving birth to curds and whey, "And from dust He created the universe."
    Jaye: The Dairy Board must love you.
  • Chef: Gareth spends an entire episode trying to find an unpasteurized Stilton for a special meal. He finally finds one at a dairy that also grows cannabis.
  • iCarly: Sam squirts Freddie with a can of "Low Fat Squirtable Cheese in a Can". It's also shown up on a random debate vs. Global Warming and Ointment.
  • Modern Family has a Running Joke about Gloria's strong Colombian accent and various malapropisms and butcherings of colloquialisms and homonyms. When her husband Jay asks her to order him a certain kind of very small "baby cheeses," the very Catholic Gloria instead orders a box full of...well, you get it.
  • Saved by the Bell: A mouse goes missing, and Screech walks around with his pockets full of cheese in an attempt to lure it out of hiding.
  • The Amazing Race
    • Exploited and subverted in a Season 3 Fast Forward, when John Vito and Jill were tasked with eating squares out of a giant wheel of cheese, and both quickly became queasy from the massive amounts of cheese they were expected to eat.
    • A task on the Season 14 premiere had teams carry large wheels of cheese down a steep hill. Though it did not look too difficult on the surface, poor balance and the cheese carriers breaking under the slightest provocation led it to being one of the most memorable tasks in race history.
  • Hugh Dennis' newsreel voice-overs featuring Prince Charles on Mock the Week almost always feature the Prince discussing his obsession with cheese.
  • In It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, cheese is one of Charlie's TrademarkFavoriteFoods. In one episode, his friends yell at him for eating enormous amounts of cheese just before a blind date. During a double-date, he tries to restrain himself from gobbling down a giant platter of cheese that arrives at his table.
  • Two examples from That Mitchell and Webb Look, both hilarious.
  • Seinfeld: George has expressed the desire to eat a block of cheese the size of a car battery.
    Jerry: Before we go any further, I'd just like to point out how disturbing it is that you equate eating a block of cheese with some sort of bachelor paradise.

    Music 
  • The String Cheese Incident. Although, if the origin story related here is to be believed, it's not Exactly What It Says on the Tin.
  • "Weird Al" Yankovic makes numerous cheese references.
  • @Planet Cool, the reason the Cheese Mafia exist is because of some absurdist duties on cheese. the reason for these cheese duties is never adequately explained. Possibly a reference to Thursday Next?
  • Sailing The Seas Of Cheese is an album by Primus. The packaging of their Greatest Hits Album, They Can't All Be Zingers, also resembles a package of processed cheese slices.
  • As "The Farmer in the Dell" taught us all in preschool, "The cheese stands alone."
  • Combination Music and Anime: there's a song on the Code Geass soundtrack titled "Cheese." It's used for comedic sections, particularly the Giant Pizza Incident.
  • Sandra Boynton's song on her Rhinoceros Tap album: "I Love You More Than Cheese."
  • The Progressive Rock band Echolyn has a song on their 1995 album "As The World" called "The Cheese Stands Alone." However the song is]] not about cheese. It's a metaphor, see?
  • "Addicted To Cheese" by The Evaporators.
  • Tim Minchin's song, Cheese, is a song about cheese.
  • Safety Scissors' song "I am the Cheese". That is all.
  • Suzy Creamcheese, oh mama, now what's got into ya?
  • Knorkator have a song called "Franz Hose". The first verse consists entirely of a list of French wines, while the second one lists French cheese. The chorus goes
    Chanson du vin et fromage. Ce n'est plus pas, vin et fromage.
  • 1950s comedy singer Leona Anderson, a froggy-voiced old lady, sang "I want a Limburger lover - to take my breath away...And when he starts to kissing, I'll never turn away!"

    Puppet Shows 
  • The Dancing Cheeses in Muppets Tonight! Last seen somewhere near Rizzo the Rat. "It's all part of the circle of life."

    Radio 
  • Adventures in Odyssey, "Wonder World". Jimmy and Lawrence try to escape from "Gorgonzola" the mutant cheese monster. Who turns out to be Donna.
    • "Nova Rising", during a BTV pitch meeting, one of the writers comments how "Cottage Cheese" is funny and proceeds to chuckle at it. (It's heavily implied that he isn't much of a writer.)
  • Cheese acts as a sort of currency in Cabin Pressure. When the bored pilots make bets, the first item wagered is always the cheese tray, and in "Ipswich" Carolyn proves her alpha-dog status by taking the Camembert for herself.
    Douglas: There's Camembert?!

    Tabletop Games 
  • The 2nd Edition Dungeons & Dragons supplement, "Aurora's Whole Realms Catalog", listed a number of local cheeses that could be ordered by teleport post. Notably, this included Luiren Spring Cheese, an mostly unremarkable cheese which nonetheless caused cravings, intoxication, and finally full-on addiction in halflings. Hilarity Ensues.
  • A sample adventure from Toon featured a new piece of equipment - a magnet made of cheese, which attracts rodents.

    Theatre 
  • The renowned drama Mother Courage and Her Children by German playwright Bertolt Brecht has a character named Swiss Cheese.
  • The first version of the Gershwin musical Strike Up the Band was about a cheese manufacturer financing a war against Switzerland. The revised version replaced cheese with chocolate.

    Video Games 
  • Mario Kart Super Circuit has Cheese Land as a track.
  • Cloudcuckooland in Banjo-Tooie has a Cheese Wedge, which is filled with noxious fumes.
  • Neopets has the "Cheeseroller" game as well as the Cheese Shop Background.
  • In earlier versions of Dwarf Fortress, the dwarfs traditionally make their cheese not from cow's milk, but from "dwarven milk" obtained by milking a vermin known as a "purring maggot". This is just one of the reasons why Cheesemakers are considered one of the worst immigrant professions, and therefore will usually end up as haulers, military recruits or test subjects for the elf drowning trap.
    • During one stretch in the infamous Let's Play "Boatmurdered" there was a distinct cheese motif in the art.
      • "Apparently the two most significant historical events here in Boatmurdered are elephants and cheese. Take a close look at the cheese ones actually, they aren't even carvings of cheese, but renditions of some other image of a cheese. They're freaking homages!" (in all likelihood, cheese was the symbol of Boatmurdered's local government or of its parent civilization).
    • As of DF 2010, more conventional livestock, such as cattle, pigs, and yaks, will produce milk that can be converted to cheese. (and yes, for you traditionalists, the purring maggot is still an option)
  • Flint loves cheese! And so does Duster!
  • World of Warcraft has the NPC Elling Trias, Master of Cheese, in Stormwind, who turns out to be a retired secret agent who left his career in defending his homeland to pursue his true ambition: to open a cheese shop.
  • Conkers Bad Fur Day has a segment where you must load a mouse/rat with cheese, in order to kill it, and get a massive, female voiced brick off a gangster-talking smaller block, so you can reach a window... into a barn...
  • In the Touhou game Undefined Fantastic Object, when mouse youkai Nazrin speaks, there's an accompanying speech bubble with cheese in it.
  • The Sims: Grilled cheese aspiration. Lifetime Want: Eat 200 grilled cheese sandwiches.
    • Surprisingly useful for Self-Imposed Challenge games that allow it— easily fulfilled wants, and free access to a food that would normally require Level 3 cooking skill.
  • One of the potential backgrounds for Worms Armageddon/Worms World Party has the landscape made of cheese.
  • The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion contains a side quest for the Daedric Lord Sheogorath which involves the player convincing a small village armageddon is on the way by bringing about several "plagues". The first plague is causing the town to be overrun by rats, which is accomplished by placing a particularly stinky cheese in a cooking pot.
    Sheogorath: Wonderful, Time for a celebration... Cheese for everyone!
    Sheogorath: You know, I was there for that whole sordid affair. Marvelous time! Butterflies, blood, a Fox, a severed head... Oh, and the CHEESE! To die for!
    • Skyrim has even made a certain type of cooked cheese dish slightly more powerful than anything else you could use early on. For a reasonably priced investment buying the ingredients (one of them is the slightly rare-ish Moonsugar), you can make an Elsweyr Fondue, which increases your Magicka regen by 25% and increases your Magicka by 100 points. To put it in perspective, an increase of 100 Magicka is akin to leveling up 10 times and choosing to upgrade Magicka.
    • Not long after the game's release, one intrepid gamer spent a month collecting wheels of cheese and building them into pyramids in Breezehome, the buyable house in the starting city of Whiterun. The result? Cheesehome.
    • With the Realistic Needs mod, which requires your character to eat periodically or starve to death, cheese is one of the more practical travelling rations due to its ability to be stacked in your inventory into wheels of eight servings.
  • In Fable II, one of the random lines that an NPC will say is: "Do you like cheese? Me, I love a bit of cheese. Cheesy, cheesy cheese."
  • The Curse of Monkey Island contains a massive wheel of nacho cheese, which Guybrush gets to use to tar a ship's hull and sacrifice to a lactose-intolerant Volcano God.
  • Gythol Granditti, a freeware RPG, contains a religion centered around "Holy Cheese". (Pieces of said Holy Cheese can be found in the game and act as Rare Candy).
  • In Dragon Quest VIII the hero's pet mouse, Munchie who actually turns out to be the hero's grandfather, Chen-Mui, in disguise to help him out can be fed various types of cheese to perform special attacks in-battle.
  • In Perfect Dark, each level has hidden pieces of cheese.
  • In King's Quest V: Absence Makes The Heart Go Yonder!, one of the final puzzles involves powering a magic-transferring machine to recharge your magic wand - which you do by dropping a hunk of moldy cheese into the cauldron. Paw of Team TGWTG suffered a Heroic BSOD when he discovered this during his Let's Play.
    • Even better, the title of the episode with all this was "Blessed Are the Cheesemakers".
  • This exchange in Neverwinter Nights 2 Mask of the Betrayer, after Safiya has been waxing eloquent on how to tell where a portal leads.
    Spirit Eater: And what does it mean if a portal smells like cheese?
    Safiya: Well, I suppose it would depend on what kind of...That wasn't a serious question, was it?
    Spirit Eater: It wasn't at first, but now I'm kind of curious...
  • Dragon Age: Alistair's love of cheese has reached memetic proportions, and cheese wheels tend to show up in strange, out-of-the-way places.
  • Defense of the Ancients: All-Stars has cheese as the ultimate recovery item, only obtainable by beating the King Mook twice.
  • Half-Life 2: The rebels in the chapter 'Follow Freeman' will say things if you prompt them with the Use button, or if they'll just ramble if nothing is happening. One of them occasionally says "Sometimes...I dream about cheese."
  • Dungeons of Dredmor: Nearly every healing item is a cheese, the trailer points it out by saying the game contains '87 bazillion types of cheese.'
  • Pajama Sam's favorite snack is Cheese Giblets, and there are many clickable background events that have something cheese-related. There's also Cheese and Crackers, which is just tic-tac-toe with cheese and crackers.
  • In the older games of The Dark Eye "Northland triology", always had Easter eggs about cheese toast all over the place, from small pamphlets to prophets. The later was really annoying because if you listened to long to him one of your party members will be enthralled and leave the party for good... cheese toast.
  • In Koudelka, cheese is a common healing item found all over the game. Taking into account that different types of wines take the role of potions and ethers, this makes an awful lot of sense.
  • Believe it or not, not everybody blesses cheesemakers. In several fighting games a traditional chunk of cheese designates a poor quality player, whether winning due to chip damage or using the same moves again and again.

    Web Comics 

    Web Original 
  • One NationStates issue features cheese as a means of satirical political protest.
  • In episode 5 of The Guild, the guild meets at a restaurant called Cheesybeards. This exchange ensues.
    Vork: The price difference here between a cheeseburger and a hamburger is one dollar. Now, if you divide twelve into $2.95, the cost of a pack of Kraft Deli Deluxe mild cheddar slices, each slice costs 24.5 cents. If you bring your own cheese, that's a saving of 75.5 cents per burger. Anybody requiring cheese can pay me so accordingly. Go ahead and round up.
    Tink: What the fudge? (Except she didn't say fudge...)
    Vork: I want to grow my money, Tink. Not spend it on cheese gouging!
    Codex: Ok, forget the cheese!
    Clara: Yeah, you guys, cut it out, OK? Cut the cheese out! Cut the cheese!
  • Interactive Fiction writer Emily Short provides this ranking of text adventure games based on their cheese content.
  • lonelygirl15: "Bree smells of cheese."
  • This article says it all in the title: "Cheese Is Funny"
  • In the Super Sentai parody France Five, The Hero of the Five-Man Band is "Red Fromage".
  • "Mix Up at the Snack Factory". Now with Four Times The Cheez!
  • The Cheese Family
  • Epic Meal Time's "Cheesy Grilled Cheese Tower" episode
  • The very first episode of Ninja The Mission Force has a cheese-based ninja.
  • Cheese is also a good answer to that pesky ultimate question
  • In their appearance in None Piece the two soldiers from Code Ment are arguing over cheese.
    Solder #1: "Do not do this."
    Soldier #2: "ARE YOU KIDDING ME! LOOK AT THE VARIETY!" [holding a plate of cheeses]
    Soldier #1: "This is some bullshit."
    Soldier #2: "You know how I get when I'm around assorted cheeses. HELP ME!"
    Soldier #1: "The only way to help you is to eat all the cheeses before you do!"
    Soldier #2: "Yeah, I know. Let's make this a [bleep]ing competition."
  • asdfmovie: "Throooow the CHEEEEEEEEESE!"
  • The Nostalgia Critic: In his review of Chairman of the Board, the Critic notes that the audience might wonder why Carrot Top and his friends wear crash-test dummy masks in one scene. His response:
    "Cheese!" *cut to a photo of a cheese wedge with the caption, "Cheese! It's as good as any other answer."*
    • Inexplicably made funnier by the yodeling that plays over it.
  • SCP-1600 is a mysterious liquid (apparently developed by the mysterious Marshal, Carter, & Dark company) that converts most forms of solid matter into what appears to be cheese, with the type of cheese depending on the original material used. Rotten meat produces a cheese-like substance that is profoundly unappetizing but otherwise harmless and edible, while a sample of 98% pure gold produces an indescribably-delicious, borderline-addictive cheese.
    • During a test involving SCP-458, a pizza box that materializes the preferred pizza of a person who touches it, SCP-040's preferred pizza is a small pizza with extra cheese and cheese stuffed crust.

    Western Animation 
  • Kim Possible
    • Rufus adores cheese. He even insists that the meaning of life is cheese when asked by his descendants in an alternate future.
    • In one episode, our heroes visit a building that is literally made of cheese. (No, it is not a cheese-covered building.)
    • A cheese fountain is seen in "Trading Faces".
    • Also Ron looking to retrieve a book on the History of Cheese.
      Wade: Must be a Gouda read.
      Ron: Cut the cheese jokes, Wade.
      Wade: Did you say "cut the..."
  • Cartoon Network once ran a block of Cheese-Related Cartoons, including:
  • An episode of Dexter's Laboratory features "omelette du fromage". This means "Cheese Omelet" in Broken French. The correct form would be 'omelette au fromage'; 'omelette du fromage' means that the cheese owns the omelet.
  • Dr. Doofenshmirtz briefly makes homemade Limburger cheese in Phineas and Ferb.
    • Candace has a fondness for grilled cheese sandwiches, and Major Monogram seems to like stuffing himself with cheese, as seen in "Remains of The Platypus".
  • Monterey Jack in Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers.
    • In "Out of Scale," Dale throws a chunk of Limburger cheese into a toy truck, commenting that Monty will love it. Of course, Monty smells it and goes into "cheese attack" mode — until he finds the shrink ray gun and attempts to drag it back with him, only to have the smell of Limburger literally drag him away. Monty fights it — until the smell taps him on the shoulder and goes up his nose.
    • Norton Nimnul attempted to go legit and use an age-accelerator gun to make cheese for an audience of scientists, but in a fit of nervousness backstage ate all his fuel—prunes. What resulted was a foul-smelling flood of sour milk. Kicked out of the assembly and angered, he then used his gun on people—and Monty—to turn them into decrepit old geezers.
  • The Looney Tunes short The Unruly Hare. Elmer Fudd has Bugs Bunny at gunpoint:
    Bugs: Only a rat would shoot a guy... (turns around)... in the back.
    (Elmer starts to pull on the trigger)
    Bugs: I reiterate: only a big, fat rat would shoot a guy in the back.
    (Elmer shoots — a smoke cloud appears where Bugs was)
    Elmer: (gloating) So I'm a big, fat wat!
    Bugs (appears out of smoke, imitating Jerry Colonna) Ah! Have some cheese, rat!
    (shoves cheese wedge on Elmer's mouth)
    • Inverted in Chuck Jones' Cheese Chasers, where mice Hubie and Bertie, hung over from a cheese binge, realize they'll never be able to touch the stuff again, and with nothing else to live for they decide to end it all by having Claude Cat eat them, even if they have to force him to.
    • In Kitty Kornered, Porky Pig puts a bunch of housecats (led by Sylvester) out for the night. Sylvester attempts to rouse the others to fight for their "cat-stitutional" rights with a speech, rhetorically asking, "Are we men, or are we mice?" To which the smallest cat replies, "I like cheese." (*smack!*)
      • Brought up again later:
      Sylvester: Ah! I think I've got it!
      Small Cat: (hopefully) The cheese? (*smack!*)
  • Rocko's Modern Life: "I am The Cheese! I am the best character on this show! I am better than both the salami and the baloney combined!"
    • Another episode had the guys rescued from a fishing trip gone horribly wrong by a giant squid obsessed with their cheese bait.
    • Another example:
      Heffer: Hey Rocko, which is funnier: bannanas or cheese?
      Rocko: Cheese, Heff. Definitely cheese.
  • Though Invader Zim mostly avoided cheese jokes, they snuck one in to the final episode, where Gir is talking to Santa.
    Gir: And a chair made of cheese, and a table made of cheese....
  • In Danny Phantom, Vlad comes from Wisconsin, the state infamous for cheese. He's also been called "cheesehead" several times from various characters (as both an insult and reference to his love for the Green Bay Packers) and in an alternate universe, is a dairy farmer specializing in cheese.
    • There is also the Dairy King. "Try the Gouda, it's dairy fresh!"
  • Played with quite often in the old Tom and Jerry cartoons.
  • In The Boondocks, Huey tells Granddad, "You can't tame the white supremacist power structure with cheese." He turns out to be wrong.
  • One of The Mask's enemies in the animated series was Gorgonzola, the Cheese Witch.
  • The Simpsons: Homer once spent the night eating 64 individually wrapped slices of American cheese.
  • In Batman: The Brave and the Bold, The Spectre turns a Mad Scientist into cheese and releases his trained rats to eat him.
  • The Ren & Stimpy Show: Ren has a telephone receiver and a big hunk of cheese strapped to his head, as Stimpy introduces his latest invention.
    Stimpy: Presenting the Cheese-A-Phone. Now we can talk to cheeses, anywhere in the world, regardless of their foreign tongues. Go ahead, Ren, say something in Limburger.
  • An early episode of Hey Arnold!! revolves around Arnold's attempts to impress his then-current crush, Ruth McDougal, at the Cheese Festival - while Helga attempts to sabotage his efforts - in "Operation Ruthless." Arnold understands the Power of Cheese:
    Arnold: It seemed like last year we celebrated the festival of the Holy Provolone.
    • He attempts to do the same thing with Lila in "Love and Cheese."
      Arnold: And I was thinking maybe I'd invite Lila to go with me.
      Gerald: Lila? Arnold, are you forgetting something? She doesn't "like you-like you", she just likes you.
      Arnold: But if I invite her to the Cheese Festival, and we have a really good time together, maybe she'll start to "like me-like me."
      Gerald: Yeah, sure, Arnold — I mean, nothing brings people closer together than cheese.
  • Jimmy Two-Shoes. In the Zombie Apocalypse episode, Jimmy bemoans that the zombies are destroying the Elegant Cheese Buffet.
  • In a Pinky and the Brain short of Animaniacs, Pinky sings a song about cheeses from around the world and how much he love them.
  • At least two episodes of Camp Lazlo centre around cheese: "The Big Cheese" and "Cheese Orbs".
  • Tails in Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog is shown to share Sonic's love of chili dogs besides preferring his with "heaps of cheese."

    Real Life 
  • The Uruguayan navy once broke through an Argentinian blockade by using old, hard edam cheeses as cannonballs. (Tested on MythBusters, although the Edam didn't fare as good as Spanish Garracha.)
  • In 1935, an argument between two postmasters over whether limberger cheese was too smelly for a postman to deliver made national news. More info here.
  • Diana Duyser's famous Virgin Mary in a grilled cheese sandwich.
  • Casu Marzu is the most infamous of the (sometimes) illegal cheeses. It's a fermented cheese which is infested with maggots which are actually able to survive passing through the intestine and can infest the eater. Naturally, it's a delicacy.
  • Charles de Gaulle once observed "How can one govern a country that has 263 kinds of cheese?".
    • Britain boasts an amazing diversity of cheeses, as many as 1200 distinct varieties by some accounts.
      • There's also a joke that Britain has 200 political parties and 3 cheese, whereas France has 3 political parties and 200 cheeses...
  • Russian proverb about a well-off or generally successful person is "rolling like a cheese in butter".
  • Austrian topfen curd cheese is rumored to have medical purposes as well.
  • Pike Place Market in Seattle is world-famous among foodies, with a ridiculous amount and variety of delights for any glutton. The two biggest crowds? City Fish (where they throw the fish) and Beecher's Cheese.
  • One of the more successful clubs at the University of Waterloo is the Campus Crusade for Cheese.
  • In 1802, the people of Cheshire, Massachusetts wanted to send Thomas Jefferson a gift. They set aside one days' yield from all their cows and devoted all the milk into making a single wheel of Cheddar cheese for Jefferson. The cheese was four feet in diameter (thirteen feet in circumference), 17 inches thick, and weighed 1,235 pounds. It took three weeks by sleigh to deliver the cheese, and by the time it got to the White House one observer quipped that "it was strong enough to finish walking there itself." Nevertheless, Jefferson accepted it, and it took him two years to eat through it (it even got brought out and added to the buffet table at the July 4th State Dinner in 1803). An ode was written to it by Thomas Kennedy.
  • Andrew Jackson received a similar gift from New York dairy farmers who were determined to upstage Massachusetts. The block of Cheddar, which was 635kg (1400 pounds), was kept by Jackson for two years to allow to age. He then proceeded to throw an open party at the White House with the cheese as the main course. It was finished in under two hours.
  • Another "mammoth cheese", weighing over seven thousand pounds, once had an ode written about it by Canadian poet James Mc Intyre. (Which was once read aloud, deadpan, by David Hyde-Pierce at the Just For Laughs festival.)
  • April 3rd is Cheese Weasel Day, on which people show appreciation for their tech professionals by leaving gifts of cheese on their keyboards.
    • Cheese in general has a powerful effect on geeks (much like caffeine), as evidenced by its presence here.
      • Eating cheese produces tryptophan, so it is often a "comfort food" and can have soothing effects. Some dieticians claim cheese is actually addictive.
      • Due to cheese's makeup including substantial amounts of fat and protein, it is also much more filling than other types of traditional snack food, meaning it makes a more effective power snack between meals, or while spending long hours hunched over a keyboard trying to make sure the company email server doesn't implode.
  • The annual Cheese-Rolling event at Cooper's Hill is an age-old English custom.
  • A Gizmodo article explains that cheese actually contains trace amounts of morphine in it from the cheesemaking process, which actually explains a lot
  • Tillamook High School's mascot is The Cheesemakers.
  • The USDA recommends three servings of dairy products a day.
  • As the NFL team Green Bay Packers hail from Wisconsin, their fans like to wear styrofoam cheese on their heads, and are hence known as cheeseheads.
  • Claude Giroux, forward for the NHL team Philadelphia Flyers, often enjoys grilled cheese sandwiches before games, which prompted a fansite to create this T-Shirt design.
  • Since cheese is cheaper in the US than in Canada, it ends up being smuggled in.
  • The Vermont Department of Agriculture has a special unit to help dairy farmers produce "value-added products" on a small- to medium-scale basis and/or connect them with people doing just that, since the profit margin on artisanal cheeses is much higher than on selling bulk milk to distributors.
  • Milwaukee considers using cheese to de-ice roads. seriously.
  • One BBS had this Just for Pun posting on January 8, 2014:
    NBC's Today show has reported that there could be a shortage of Velveeta, the finest example of genetic engineering and method of recycling toxic waste into an ersatz alleged food product. Today said the company reported in a twitter feed that some customers may see shortages of the product in some stores, and some customers have reported they have had trouble finding it.
    The show admitted that they curd not verify whey the shortage occurred, so it could be just a cheesy bunch of manufactured rumors being spread by the company in a carefully Krafted public relations campaign.
  • One entry on Not Always Friendly has two friends having a long, pun-filled conversation about cheese.
    Friend: "Don't cheddar question my logic if you know what's gouda for you!"
    Me: "Cheese, your logic would brie nothing against mine. My logic comes from years of experience and from age."
    Friend: 'Cheese, look at you. It's a marble you’ve gotten so far with such pule logic. Mine is so much feta."
    Me: "Hey, don't get fraishe with me! You butter quit while your ahead and brie thankful I don't come over and break your parm for sage-esting that you are more sharp than mycella."
    Friend: "I bow to you, that was a thing of beauty. Truly, you're a provolone. Cheddar luck next time. Alright, cheese puns are becoming grating. Leyden to rest."

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