"....so if you give a crap feel free to check back in next week to satisfy your insatiable desire to read about grown people punching each other in the mouth or beating each other about the head and neck in a most furious manner."
This crazy-ass bastard is one of the most hardcore freedom fighters to ever live, and a dude so extreme balls-out in his insatiable quest for vengeance that something as inconsequentially-trivial as being fucking decapitated couldn't stop him from crushing his enemies to death with his nutsack.
Benkei went out to the drawbridge leading towards the castle, clenched his naginata in his fists, and dared the army on the other side to fucking fuck with him. A couple punk-ass bitches thought they wanted a piece of SMB, but Benkei slapped the fail out of them with the blunt end of his bladed axe, knocking their brains out and sending crumpled remains splashing into the moat.
So one day God and everybody are chilling out and this fucking insane-o motherfucking demon busts through the pearly gates ready to kick fucking asses and making the lesser angels (the fat kids and Victoria Secret models) piss themselves.
Holy shit everybody thinks they're totally fucked because look at this motherfucker. He's a fucking huge red monster with gleaming talons and spikes covering one-third of his body and glowing eyes and he looks PISSED. But instead of handing over St. Peter's keys like some kind of two-dollar pussy carjacking victim, God takes one look at this thing and is just like, "Mike, show this fucking douchebag the door". The Archangel Michael calmly nods his head, slowly takes the cigarette out of his mouth and flicks it onto the floor, cracks his knuckles and confidently strides towards Lucifer.
Irina Sebrova - So much so that she broke down in tears after her plane got shot down one night, for the sole reason that for the rest of the night..... she couldn't kill anymore Nazis!
Author Catch Phrase: Badasses described as going progressively crazier will be described as losing his or her "already-tenuous grip on his/her sanity."
Mustafa Kemal Ataturk - whose name quite literally translates into "Mustafa the Perfect, Father of the Turks." Yes, this guy was so badass that he was literally dubbed "perfect" by his instructors.
Max Hardberger. The name alone qualifies him as awesome, but that fact that this guy's job is to essentially serve as a maritime repo man whose specialty is in stealing ships back from pirates, it just pushes it to a whole new level.
Buzz Aldrin - If strapping a rocket to your ass and braving deep space isn't an act of sheer balls, then epically jacking some asshole in the face after he calls you a liar and threatens your daughter should count.
This is the first thing that pops up when you run a Google Image Search for "space babes", but, honestly, this weird alien space eyeball tentacle-monster also happens to be a good visual representation of Commander Shepherd's military career – drifting around in outer space groping a hot babe with his appendages while random dudes shoot him in the face with rockets at close range without doing any noticeable damage.
Catchphrase: "Balls-out" appears often, sometimes multiple times in a single article. Even in the articles about women. Even in the article about the cow.
JACK.CHURCHILL. - His nickname was even "Mad Jack". And, considering this man fought World War II with a claymore and a longbow and was more effective than the guys using weapons made for that time, we can all agree it was crazy......''and fucking awesome!!!!''
Rukhsana Kauser, who managed to gun down the most wanted terrorist in India when he started beating on her father and tried to rape her.
Yang Youde, a rural Chinese farmer whose response to a Mega Corp's attempt to steal his land was to build homemade artillery and blast the company's gang of club-wielding enforcers in a battle straight out of the wildest tower defense games.
Hideaki Akaiwa, when faced with a tsunami that flooded his town, chose to don a suit of SCUBA gear and swim through the black, nighttime, debris-strewn waters to rescue his wife, and then went back in to save his mother, and now works as a one-man search-and-rescue unit, combing the disaster zone for others in need of help.
Anthony Omari - When machete-wielding thieves broke into the Kenyan orphanage he ran, he ran them off by chucking a hammer into their faces. When they came back the next night for payback, he dished out even more hammer-related injuries, while taking a severe wound to the face. Not that it stopped him from kicking their asses.
Samuel Whittemore, who ambushed an entire British regiment and killed three men before the rest of the regiment shot and bayonetted him. He survived and lived to the age of 98.
Commander Shepard is portrayed in game as being in Badass Weekly. The site responded upon finding out about this by playing through the trilogy then writing Shepard up to be one of the biggest badasses on the whole site.
The 21 Sikhs, a single unit of twenty-one Sikh soldiers holding a small fortress outpost on the Indian border against a force of invading tribesmen that numbered over twenty thousand. They managed to hold for most of a day, while ounumbered 500:1 until the British could organize a counterattack. While all of them were wiped out, no one doubts the size or sturdiness of their balls, especially as every single one of them volunteered to stay and fight. When word of their actions reached the British Parliament, it received a standing ovation from the entire British government.
A number of the articles may include phrases that seem to refer to the trope with outlandish deeds actually being performed by the subject in question or just some flavourful Testosterone Poisoning humour. A notable example is that the Battle of the Bulge was presumedly named after 'Lenny Funk's raging kill-boner'.
Bishnu Shrestha. This retired Gurkha (which should say everything you need to know about how badass he is) was returning home on a train when forty gangsters boarded it, robbed the people on board, and tried to rape a girl. Bishnu taught them the error of their ways in a storm of blood-spraying violence, killing three men and disabling eight more with just his kukri before the rest ran for the hills.
Captain Johnathan R. Davis: One prospector, two revolvers, one bigass bowie knife, and the most awesome mutton chops ever, versus eleven heavily-armed bandits. Guess who wins.
Simo Häyhä So much so that the Soviets actually ordered artillery bombardments just for the express purpose to try and kill him. They failed.
Honda Tadakatsu won a battle where he was outnumbered 60-1 by openly attacking the enemy army. The opposing general was so impressed at Tadakatsu's balls that he acknowledged his badassery by withdrawing and conceding without any blood being spilled.
Juan Pajota - Philippine guerrilla leader during WW 2. As Cpt. Robert Prince of 6th Ranger Battalion, US Army put it: "The Guerrillas were our flanking protection at the Cabu River, which was no more than a mile from the camp... there was a sizable force of Japanese, but Pajota and his men just killed everything in sight that came up that river and across the bridge. They were the ones that kept this thing from being a tough deal for us."