Always A Child To Parent

It is a parent's job (and in most cases, pleasure) to love and care for their child from birth until they reach adulthood and are ready to make their own way in the world. As part of this job, they must guide and protect the child as they learn and grow. This bond forms from the child's first wakened moments in the world and only gets stronger with the passage of time.

Despite that, most parents understand and realize that they must make adjustments over time in how they treat their child, and what permissions and privileges they permit as their child grows up and begins to develop strengths and abilities.

Some parents have a hard time with the intermediate period when their offspring is no longer a baby or a little kid, but not quite an adult either. Some even have a hard time once the child is a full grown adult — so hard in fact that they literally cannot bring themselves to treat the offspring like anything but a small child, much to the child's dismay and frustration.

This is often portrayed through:

  • The adult's actions toward the kid are as if they were still a small child. This means changing manner of speech, up to and including addressing the child with Baby Talk.
  • A visual change of camera shot to the adult's face, but when the shot goes back to the child's face, they are a literal small child version of themselves, even though they may still speak with their current voice. In live action media, this requires swapping actors to a literal child for this purpose.
  • The parent continuing to treat the child as though they were much younger: giving them toys and other presents or parties suited to a much younger child.
  • Engaging in Amazingly Embarrassing Parents habits suited to a small child, such as licking a handkerchief and wiping a spot off their face, or putting a bib on them in public.

Thankfully, most parents only have brief and infrequent flashes of the urge to deny so vehemently that their child is old enough to venture away from the "nest" of home without parental oversight.

Sometimes, the trouble coping with the maturing of their child is also mixed with the unpleasant realization that they, the parents, are also getting older.

The trope is often played with in such a way that an adult whose job it is to care for multiple under-18-age kids treats them all like they're little children even when it's obvious they're older.

If the parent can't rein in their tendency to control every aspect of their child's life regardless of their having grown up, such a parent can go from simply denying their fledgling is ready to fly, and go straight on to being an Overprotective Dad or My Beloved Smother. If they have been told and told and told repeatedly to quit trying to interfere and act like they know best, this trope joins with Meddling Parents. More insistent examples may eventually get an Anti-Smother Love Talk.

Compare The Baby of the Bunch when an individual receives this in a group where parents are not necessarily involved. See Everyone's Baby Sister for a person who has this issue with all the older people in their lives. Also compare Just a Kid.

Not to be confused with Not Allowed to Grow Up which is a meta-trope about keeping the characters the same age no matter how long the show goes on.

While it is probably tempting to describe such stories, no Real Life Examples, please.


Examples:

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     Advertising  

  • There's a commercial with a dad going over a pre-ignition checklist with his six year old daughter who turns out to be sixteen when he sees her with eyes that acknowledge she's growing up.
  • There's another with a boy of about four or five going through the various difficulties involved with owning a car. This one is a played with example, as the boy is still four when all is said and done, and in no hurry to grow up.

     Anime and Manga  

  • In one of the live action GeGeGe no Kitaro movies, the older youkai have failed to understand that Kitaro and Neko-Musume are well into puberty (and played by twenty-somethings) and continue to treat them like the children they're usually portrayed as.

     Comic Books  

  • A played with example. Batman — the Batman made Robin his Sidekick when the boy was only 8 or so. His acrobatic prowess meant he mostly kept out of trouble, distracting the villains while Batman did the heavy lifting. But in The '70s continuity, a villain was sharp enough to shoot Robin and hit him. Batman's trouble coping with the idea that his Robin — his son in all but name — had nearly died — that he forbade Dick Grayson from being Robin for fear of it happening again. Dick, already used to a life of costumed crimefighting, rebelled. This caused the two of them to have an enormous fight resulting in a falling out, and the creation of Nightwing.

     Fan Works  

  • From Bajor to the Black: When Kanril Eleya's family drops her off at a shuttleport en route to boot camp, her mother Shora tells her 17-year-old daughter "You're still my little girl."

     Film - Animated  

  • In Kung Fu Panda, as Tai Lung leaps to attack his mentor and adoptive father Shifu, the kung fu master momentarily sees his renegade pupil as the adorable snow leopard cub he'd once been. The memory of baby Tai Lung makes the elderly monk hesitate and his ex-student brings him down.

     Film - Live Action  

  • In the film The Baby, the mother and her grown daughters took her denial to an unhealthy extreme. She had her adult son who had to be in his 20s-30s, still in diapers and babbling like a baby, playing with rattles, etc. They even called him "Baby" instead of by name. The implication here is that the Baby was mentally challenged, but with treatment, might grow to behave and function closer to his correct age.
  • Father of the Bride opens with the family at the table. As they eat, a little girl of lower elementary school age announces that she met a man in Rome, and they are getting married. Her father is startled. "I'm sorry, what did you say?" Camera cuts back to the daughter, who is actually an adult, repeating joyfully, "I'm engaged! We're getting married!"

     Literature  

  • The Hound of the Baskervilles has a Promoted To Parent variant. It turns out the escaped convict is the brother of Baskerville Hall's housekeeper, and she keeps smuggling him food and clothes since to him he's still her little brother who needs her constant supervision (and Watson notes that a man is truly done for when no female member of his family feels like this).
  • Appears several times in Discworld.
    • Polly Oliver in Monstrous Regiment has had to take care of a mentally retarded brother most of her life, so she ends up treating her lieutenant in the same way, telling him to spit in a handkerchief so she can wipe his face.
    • Glenda in Unseen Academicals, who is basically a mother hen to her friend Julia despite their being the same age and ruling over the Night Kitchen much like her grandmother did. As lampshaded by Vetinari, who says they go through life like mothers on a playground, wiping up faces, blowing noses and otherwise treating adults like children.
    • Nanny Ogg's cat Greebo is a vicious, foul-smelling, one-eyed, evil rapist of a tomcat that can scare off alligators, wolves and bears (unless they have cubs), but she sees him as the tiny kitten he was a very, very long time ago.
  • Early in Deryni Rising Queen Jehana and her ladies treat Kelson as if he were a child. One of her ladies finds Kelson conversing with Duke Alaric Morgan and chides him for going off by himself and making his mother worry over the danger, and she fails to address Kelson as king (a failure for which Morgan scolds her). After Kelson's masterful performance at Morgan's treason trial in council, Jehana bitterly reflects that he opposed her effectively, "not with childish taunts".
  • Deconstructed in A Song of Ice and Fire with Cersei and her son Joffrey. Because he was the firstborn child, male, beautiful, and first in line to the throne besides, she'd always babied and indulged him while neglecting to show the same affection to her next two children. As a result, he grows up a spoiled, cruel child, but nevertheless Cersei still acts like he is her faultless firstborn, and remains blind to his flaws. When he ascends to the throne, she seems to believe that she can use his status as king to rule the realm by proxy and attempts to control him, but he proves to be more uncontrollable than her biased view of him thought.

     Live Action TV  

  • Howard's Jewish Mother in The Big Bang Theory seemed to think her little Howie was still in middle school by the way she talks about his "little friends" coming to visit and offering them cookies and Hawaiian Punch. The fact that he continued to live in his old bedroom until he got married and indulged her when it suited him certainly didn't help.
  • The Borgias: After Juan Borgia's death, his father Rodrigo is the only person present at his burial as he had made enemies out of all his other family members. He briefly dreams that Juan, depicted as a little boy rather than his present day adult self, is about to fall into an abyss and is calling to his father for help. This illustrates that Rodrigo always had a blind spot for his Bastard Bastard.
  • In Castle, this is a recurring theme in the relationship between Rick Castle and his precocious overachiever daughter Alexis, particularly as the series continues and she graduates from high school and moves out to go to Columbia. Castle is frequently shown having to remind himself that she's not a little girl anymore and he can't be an Overprotective Dad forever, and in one episode is is unpleasantly surprised to run into her at a con dressed in midriff-baring cosplay.
  • In a sketch from Monty Python's Flying Circus two pepperpots talk about one of their sons, marveling at his progress growing up. Then the son enters and it turns out he's a fortysomething Government employee.
  • In one episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, an investigation into a rape and murder hinges upon the detectives convincing a mother that her "sweet little boy" is actually a cold-blooded sociopath.

     Music  

  • In the song "Mother" from Pink Floyd's The Wall, Pink's mother's responses to her son's growing paranoia go way beyond protective and reach the point of Tsundere-ishness, as Mother promises to help her boy wall himself off from the world and carefully manage her son's love life so that nobody "dirty" will get through that wall.
    "Ooh, baby, you'll always be baby to me..."

     Truth In Television  

  • Lenore Skenazy of the "Free Range Kids" movement can attest to this.

     Theatre  

  • Jack's mom in Into the Woods is all over this.
    "You're still a little boy in your mother's eyes!"

     Web Comics  

  • Stand Still, Stay Silent: One of the last resorts from Onni to keep Tuuri and Lalli from leaving for the expedition is to claim that they aren't adults and hence shouldn't leave home. There are two problems with his statement. The first is that the home in question is a military base in which all three of them are employed. The second is that Tuuri and Lalli are twenty-one and nineteen years old respectively, while Onni got his Promotion to Parent towards them when he was sixteen.

     Western Animation  

  • As Told by Ginger:
    • Macie turns thirteen. Her parents completely forget her birthday. When she reminds them, they are appalled at having forgotten, and appropriately apologetic. They throw her a huge party: suitable for a five year old. Ginger tries to intervene, but Macie gets angry with her for doing so. In the end, her parents do acknowledge she's older.
  • My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic:
    • "The Secret of My Excess": Twilight takes Spike to the pony pediatrician. He talks Baby Talk to an increasingly annoyed Spike (who at this particular moment is not even a baby dragon).
    • "Somepony To Watch Over Me": The Apple family has held a meeting to determine whether or not Apple Bloom is old enough to take care of the farm and the chores by herself for done day while Applejack and Big Macintosh make deliveries. Applejack can't cope with the idea of leaving Apple Bloom alone, and returns to the farm, where she commences treating Apple Bloom like she's barely any older than the baby Cake Twins. She descends into addressing Apple Bloom in Baby Talk. She baby-proofs the entire orchard, driving Apple Bloom to desperate measures to prove she is capable of self-reliance. She only snaps out of it when she sees Apple Bloom is capable of quick thinking in a crisis even if she didn't take the dangers of the delivery route into consideration.
    • "Forever Filly": Rarity drops in on Sweetie Belle without checking. Sweetie Belle takes off from the CMC and spends the day with her sister, but Rarity treats her like a tiny filly barely older than the Cake Twins. Meanwhile, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo's client seems to have the same problem: Zipporwhill hasn't realized her "puppy" is now a full grown dog and is too old for puppy toys. Thankfully solving Zip's problem in Rarity's earshot saves Sweetie Belle from having to explain, and Rarity acknowledges her sister has grown up since the last time they spent the day together.
  • Phineas and Ferb:
    • Doofenshmirtz's daughter Vanessa is 16 and he's usually good about treating her as such. But in "Getting the Band Back Together" he throws her a party that's suited to a six year old. Only resolved with Perry's help.
    • And in "Skiddley Whiffers", Vanessa wants to go camping with a bunch of other teens. Doof doesn't want her to go because he's worried and protective. He sees her as about six years old.
    • In "Finding Mary McGuffin" the trope is played with. Doofenshmirtz finds a Little Mary McGuffin doll at a garage sale, and remembers how much little Vanessa wanted one and that she said if he got her one she'd be happy and he'd be the best dad in the world. He gives it to sixteen year old Vanessa, who is nonplussed at first, but when she thinks about it becomes very touched that he went to so much effort to find this thing for her to show her he loves her.
  • Teenage Fairytale Dropouts:
    • Fury is 16, and has an aunt Sugar Plum who insists on calling her "Sweet Cheeks" and throwing her little kid parties with ponies, puppies, pink, and sparkles. Fury doesn't want the baby parties, but also doesn't want to hurt her aunt's feelings. The Mean Girls eventually reveal what Fury was trying not to say, and Fury gets her rad teen rock-n-roll party in the end.
  • Steven Universe:
    • "Sadie's Song" has Sadie's mom Barb, who displays traits of My Beloved Smother as well; Sadie has an enormous pile of cutesy plush toys which she describes as "not really hers". Sadie's mother comes home and adds a bear with a cutesy bib reading "I wuv you woads".
  • Dr. Drakken, the major recurring villain in Kim Possible, has visits from his mother on occasion. Since he's taken care not to tell her that he's a supervillain, she believes he's a radio doctor. She also regularly smothers and lectures him as if he still were a child, which he tolerates for her sake.
  • In Family Guy, Death stalks the world claiming souls. But when he returns home, he's still a little boy to his mother.


http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AlwaysAChildToParent