I Want My Beloved To Be Happy - Television Tropes & Idioms

Merle sort-of does this in Vision Of Escaflowne. Though the Clingy Jealous Girl for the first half of the series, she eventually seems to come to terms with her destiny as the Unlucky Childhood Friend and stops trying to interfere in Van and Hitomi's budding affections. Her ticked-off behavior towards Hitomi afterwards stems from how Hitomi's inability to choose between Allen and Van is hurting Van.
To some degree, Yuki Nagato from Suzumiya Haruhi. She has loyalty to Kyon and Kyon alone up to and including (in the novels) usurping Haruhi's god-like power to destroy the Data Overmind and create an Alternate Universe where everything is what Kyon has said he wanted things to be like, i.e. Brought Down To Normal. He gently tells her that he really does want the craziness that Haruhi creates, and to be with Haruhi; and Yuki accepts this and gives him the power to change everything back. Kyon does appreciate her, though, and trusts her the most out of anybody.
Maehara Shinobu and Otohime Mutsumi from Love Hina both like Urashima Keitaro; however, Shinobu actively tries to help Keitaro end up with Narusegawa Naru, while Mutsumi seems rather indifferent to whether or not she ends up with Keitaro. In the manga version, Mutsumi frequently makes a show of actively trying to get close to Keitaro; it is foreshadowed, and later explicitly revealed, that her motivation for doing this is in fact to ignite Naru's jealousy and make her work harder at her relationship with Keitaro. Mutsumi is perfectly happy for Naru and Keitaro to be together, and indeed, implies that she wouldn't mind being with ''both'' of them.
- As well, despite her aggressive campaign for him, Kanako bows to this trope in the end in Love Hina Again.
  - Said above attitude may also be part self-protection on the part of Shinobu. Pursuing her feelings for Keitaro always elicits the questionable help of the other Sou residents, which inevitably leads to her embarrassment.
Oogami Souma from Kannazuki No Miko supports the relationship between Himemiya Chikane and Kurusegawa Himeko despite being attracted to Himeko; meanwhile, Chikane supports the relationship between Souma and Himeko despite also being attracted to Himeko.
Video Girl Ai, especially towards the end, in spades. In fact, the reason why Youta gets Ai to help him is because he preferred to help Moemi get Takashi's love instead of sabotaging her plans, which he could've done very easily because he was both Takashi's best friend and Moemi's confident; his selflessness is what allowed him him see the Gokuraku club in the first place.
Daidouji Tomoyo and Li Meiling from Card Captor Sakura are both examples of this trope. Tomoyo channels her feelings for Kinomoto Sakura towards making Sakura happy, even going so far as to regularly help Sakura's relationship with whoever Tomoyo thinks Sakura would be happiest with. Meanwhile, Meiling had convinced Xiao Lang to become engaged to her when they were younger, but with the condition that the engagement would be broken if Xiao Lang found the one he truly loved.
Despite having nigh-superhuman physical and mental abilities, in addition to magical powers, Chanohata Tamami in Mahoraba does not take advantage of them to remove her rival for Aoba Kozue, Shiratori Ryuushi.
In an epic battle between the Forces of Darkness and a ballet-dancing duck, Ahiru of Princess Tutu dances her way to regain the lost pieces of Prince Mytho's heart... all the while knowing that he is fated to not love her, and in the end, telling him will result in her vanishing in a speck of light.
Hayato Ike, ordinary friend of the heroes in Shakugan No Shana, helps his classmate Kazumi Yoshida get closer to the male lead, even though he himself likes her. When said male lead Yuji Sakai has Selective Obliviousness over this, he breaks the usual rule and flat out tells Yuji that he's being rude and cruel.
In Gravitation, Ayaka Usami loves her fiance Yuki enough to come to see him by herself all the way from Kyoto, but breaks off their arranged marriage when she believes that he can be happy only with Shuichi. Ultimately, Shuichi's Unlucky Childhood Friend Hiro takes a liking to her and they start dating.
Nayuki in Kanon.
Hanon in Mermaid Melody Pichi Pichi Pitch. The guy loses the person he wanted to be with in a few episodes anyway, but Hanon still doesn't end up with him afterward, maybe because he's her teacher. Later, Michal enacts this with Kaito, despite spending most of the series as a Clingy Jealous Girl that would compromise anything she could think of to break up Kaito and Lucia.
The ending of Fate/Stay Night falls under this trope, with Shirou allowing Saber to destroy the Grail even if it means their separation.
- Also, in the game's last route, Sakura is shown to be resigned to Shirou and her sister getting together, and is surprised at Shirou actually reciprocating her feelings. This, however, caused things to rapidly get worse, and actually caused her eventual breakdown.
  - Really? She was resigned to Shirou not ending up with her, yes, because she knew that it would likely end badly (thanks to Zouken) but I don't think she really expected him to end up with Rin (although it wasn't impossible). Initially, at least, she's more worried about Rin killing him. I would say, actually, that Heaven's Feel (past the halfway point) is about the only time where Sakura doesn't fit this trope (although it's the only route where her feelings and past become obvious). Prior to the game, and in the first two routes, she doesn't make any move on him because she knows that if he found out about her treatment by Zouken, he'd probably end dying trying to rescue her.
Renji Abarai from Bleach on many occasions gives up chances to be with Rukia despite practically living and dying for her, wanting for her to survive and be happy.
- Ichigo has a moment like this as well. At the end of her rescue arc, Rukia decides to remain in Soul Society to speed her recovery process, rather then return to the real world with Ichigo and co. It is obvious that Ichigo expected her to come back with him, despite the fact that all of her family and friends are in Soul Society and she is no longer under arrest. He is pole axed for a second, and then tells her that's great, surprising Rukia at his response. Ichigo continues, flashbacking to her crying as she was taken away, if that's what she wants, if it makes her happy, then it is a good thing and he won't question it. He then reflects and thinks about why he wanted to save her so badly. They part with a "see you later", rather then a goodbye.
- Also, possibly Ishida's attitude towards Orihime.
The fourth episode of Haré+Guu has Marie attempting to do this for Haré and Guu (complete with a "schoolgirl walking through the autumn leaves" scene). Of course, that's not what Haré was trying to tell her at all. Naturally, when he tries explaining this, she assumes he's just trying not to hurt her feelings, and goes into Love Bubbles and sparkles mode.
A really tragic case of both halves of a separated couple failing to try to reunite because they think the other would be happier without them forms the central conflict of the second half of Nana.
In the manga Yami No Matsuei, Tatsumi's alter-ego, Butler, tries to force the love of his life, Luka (Tsuzuki's alter-ego), into marriage with the rich His Lordship (despite the fact that she does not love His Lordship) so that she might be financially taken care of. This trope backfires, however, as at the end Luka escapes the marriage and confesses her love for Butler.
Paraietta in Simoun has been desperately in love with Neviril since childhood, but stands aside in favour of Aaeru once she's sure Aaeru is worthy of Neviril. Although, that said, she regrets it a couple of times, especially when Neviril seems on the verge of asking her to be her "pair" (flight partner); in reality she won't even let Neviril finish the question, but later she flashes back to the scene and re-imagines it as if she'd let Neviril ask her and had said "yes". Later still, she comes close to forcing herself on Neviril when she misinterprets something she says as meaning that she and Aaeru are lovers (they're not... at least, not yet.)
Mifuyu in Maria-sama Ga Miteru despite her obsession with Sachiko realizes that she is better off with Yumi.
Tadase from Shugo Chara stepped back after realizing the feelings Amu harbours for Ikuto and vice-versa.
Mamoru did a form of this in the second series of Sailor Moon in which he was receiving rather disturbing messages that Usagi would die if they continued to be together and hence he forced himself apart from Usagi. However, seeing as Usagi wasn't too thrilled at the idea (she didn't know the death messages part of this, since Mamoru didn't tell her that she wasn't the source of the problem ), it's more "I want my beloved to be alive" more than anything else.
- In straighter examples, anime Rei stops pursuing Mamoru when it is revealed he and Usagi are destined to be and Seiya stops pursuing Usagi when he learns Mamoru is dead, not ignoring Usagi.
In Kaleido Star, ex-magician/now businessman Kalos Eido has been in love with his right-hand and companion Sarah Dupont for years, but since Sarah ditched her singing career to work with him, he feels horribly guilty and doesn't dare to ask her out. When Sarah is offered by their common friend Andy, who is also interested in Sarah to become his companion so she can become an Idol Singer, Kalos attempts to pull a harsh version of "I Want..." by telling Sarah he doesn't need her anymore. However, Sora and her friends trick Kalos into revealing his love for Sarah, which she reciprocates. Then Andy pulls his "I want..." card, letting Kalos and Sarah hook up.
Much of the drama in the second season of Da Capo arises from one character refusing to accept this concept. It only makes the shipping wars worse.
In Blood Plus, use of this trope could be attributed to several characters, the most notable being Mao and Haji. After Mao finds out that her boyfriend has fallen for another woman, she spends the next episode making sure they get to spend some Quality Time together. Haji, meanwhile, spends the vast majority of the series doing whatever it is that will make Saya happy, and does his best to stay by the wayside (however, he also somewhat subverts the trope in later episodes, when Saya is nearly whisked off by the infatuated Solomon, and Haji makes it clear that he is Not Pleased). And then Solomon pulls it, realizing after gently being rejected that Saya really is happier with Haji, and letting her go with a promise that he'll protect her anyway.
Victorian Romance Emma has Eleanor and Hans falling in this category.
In Pretty Face it's the whole reason Randou decided to spend a year with Rina's face, since he actually gets a picture of his original appearance early on. He almost wound up in a permanent case of Mandys Law Of Anime Gender Bending over this, and only after accepting it did he realize he never even got his original appearance back in the first place.
Serial Experiments Lain toes the line between text and Subtext with a lot of Lain and Alice's relationship, but it's hard to read Lain deleting herself from existence for Alice's peace of mind, arranging things so that she can marry her high school crush, and spending eternity watching over her from the Wired in many other ways.
- Insert The Dark Knight ending monologue here.
Nachi and Kaya in Mugen Densetsu Takamagahara: Dream Saga both concede to Yuuki.
Kurai of Angel Sanctuary more or less is this trope.
Madarame of the Genshiken manga has a secret and rather intense crush on Kasukabe Saki, the girlfriend of his friend and fellow otaku Kousaka. Not willing to risk his friendship with both, he keeps his feelings to himself. Surprisingly realistic, all told.
Itta in Girl X Girl X Boy flat-out says that this is his intention - he'd sure be happy if Fuuka fell for him, but if Riri was willing to be with her, he'd be totally fine with bowing to her.
Shigeru, Sakurako, Rui, Kazuya, and Umi in Hana Yori Dango give up their perusals of Tsukushi and Domyouji just so the two of them can stay together.
Axis Powers Hetalia has Spain letting Italy leave him during the War of the Austrian Succession.
- Also, Sweden briefly thought of letting Finland go during the Polish-Swedish wars. However, he couldn't bring himself to touch the subject.
- Another example could be with England and America. There's much fighting before England makes a choice between either shooting a disarmed America or letting him go. He doesn't shoot.
No Bra has a really sweet one of these done by the resident (sort of) Gonk. He doesn't like that Yuki needs to be with Masato to be happy, but damn it, he'll do his best to make sure nothing separates them. Including threatening the teacher who tries just that.
Despite his own feelings for her, Naruto promised to bring Sakura back the man she loved, Sasuke.
- Okay, get the tissues, 'cause this is really touching. After Sakura begged Naruto to bring Sasuke back to her, he set asside his own feelings for her, give a pained smile, and promised to bring him back no matter what (promise of a lifetime, he said). And when makes it even more sad is the fact that he failed. Oh...I'm going to need a minute...
- Also, Hinata, who loves Naruto, is willing to die protecting him. Fortunately, she didn't.
- In an extremely roundabout way this turns out to be Itachi's plan all along. They're not lovers but it fits otherwise.
- if Naru-Hina doesn't become canon this will probobly be one of the reasons why it didn't
  - And judging by Sakura's inner monologue while saving Hinata's life, it'll probably be the reason if it does, too.
Shima-kun from Clannad, who wishes for Misae to find her happiness, since he's worried about her.
A possible interpretation for the acceptance of the other four girls of Rin's decision to choose Asa Shigure in Shuffle.
Inuyasha: when wealthy nobleman Kuranosuke Takeda proposes marriage to Sango, Miroku spends most of the episode conspicuously refraining from offering any input whatsoever - much to the frustration of Shipper On Deck Kagome, who badgers him about it until he calmly points out that if it would make her happy, Sango would be much better off marrying Takeda than she would be continuing on with them on their quest to kill the Big Bad.
In Fruits Basket, the Yuki Fan Club is rebuked for not wanting this, especially since their non-reciporated love would only make him loathe them. In the manga, their leader Motoko actually gives up on Yuki.
In S-CRY-ed, Scheris' last moments can be considered part this, part Heroic Sacrifice. She knows damn well that Ryuhou loves Mimori, not her, but she can't stand to let him die, even if that means losing her own life and another woman getting him. Possibly subverted in that Ryuhou later cites her death as an example of why it's a bad idea to love him, when he tells Mimori that starting a relationship won't be happening.
Mahou Sensei Negima has a strange variation involving the Love Triangle between Negi Springfield, Yue Ayase, and Nodoka Miyazaki. Yue starts out supporting a relationship between Negi and Nodoka, but ends up developing feelings for Negi herself. She then has a Heroic BSOD and decides that she would rather "disappear" and clear the way for her best friend rather than pursue him herself. It takes a bonk on the head for Nodoka to convince Yue that she has just as much right to go after Negi.
Similar to the Negima version, in Hayate The Combat Butler, Hinagiku chooses not to pursue Hayate because she has befriended Nishizawa who was interested first. She has so far made certain that Hayate returns Valentine's Day chocolate to Nishisawa; and has dressed up as a Power Ranger to stick her arms in frogs and stand on a tall building despite being afraid of heights.
- Subverted later as she does pursue her feelings for Hayate and is even encouraged by her friend Nishizawa (sort of a friendly competition). Arguably subverted the subversion when she tells Hayate to go after Athena.
During the ending chapters of the manga version of Kashimashi Girl Meets Girl Yasuna says she only wishes for Hazumu to be happy,and thus she does not mind if Hazumu chose Tom ari instead of her. That she ends this dialogue in tears might undermine her words, however.
In Girl Friends this may be the reason why Akko and Mari have trouble facing up to their true feelings for each other.
In the Gun Grave anime Brandon Heat left his sweetheart Maria so she and Big Daddy can be together. Some subversion occured because he never thought that Big Daddy could ever hurt her.
Toradora is basically this trope turned up to eleven and repeated three times.
Disturbingly enough this happens in Ranma One Half after Ranma falls in love with Ryoga (long story, don't ask) leading to the bizarre scene of Ranma willingly kneeling down to allow Ryoga to kill her as Ryoga is so disturbed and horrified by the situation (and wants to kill Ranma anyway).
In the Asatte No Houkou manga, Amino starts off as a Stalker With A Crush, but ends up being this.
Yuzu Yamamoto in Bitter Virgin liked the main lead Daisuke Suwa. She was quick to notice that Daisuke was developing feelings for Hinako Aikawa, and after some wrestling with the issue decided to support Hinako. Up until she inadvertently learned Hinako had given birth to a child and ends up blurting this out to Daisuke. Unknown to her, Daisuke was fully aware of this already and it only cements her status as Unlucky Childhood Friend. Also, resident Yandere Kazuki also has a moment of this when she comes to the same realization as Yuzu. Though in her case she's only stepping aside temporarily as everyone is certain the relationship will ultimately fail.
In Mirai Nikki, Yuno, of all people, does this in later chapters. She has near-death experiences in chapters 22 and 23, and both times she was ready to die in order to save Yukiteru from the 4th—either from blowing herself and the 4th up with a grenade or taking a missed shot from Yukiteru while being held as a human shield by the 4th. Later, when Yukiteru's parents die and he swears to kill the rest of the diary holders (and explicitly mentions killing her) so he can become a god and bring back his parents, Yuno, with a smile on her face, responds:
Yuno: "I'll die for you whenever you want, Yukki."
School Rumble mixes this trope liberally with All Love Is Unrequited, especially after Cerebus Syndrome kicks in:
- There's the resolution to the Karasuma/Tenma/Harima arc, which ends with Harima driving Tenma to the airport so she can join Karasuma in America, which also allows him to indirectly confess to her after 20-odd volumes of the manga.
- Also, there is another instance towards the end of the manga where Max, Eri Sawachika's childhood friend who invokes this trope when he convinces Harima to stop Eri's arranged marriage.
Played with in Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni. Rena has a very obvious crush on Keiichi, but Mion has an even more obvious one. Rena says she was perfectly fine with Keiichi giving Mion the doll. Then again, Rena is pretty nice.
In G Gundam, Rain attempts this after two consecutive discoveries (namely, that Allenby is also in love with him and her own father sold Dr. Kasshu out to the Neo-Japanese government out of jealousy, and is thus partially responsible for pretty much everything wrong in Domon's life right now) which lead her to believe that she is neither needed or wanted in Domon's life. Domon convinces her otherwise. Epically.
For Shi Ryuuki in Saiunkoku Monogatari, wanting his beloved to be happy means bootstrapping his country's progress toward gender equality ahead about a century, making it possible for women to serve as government officials so that Shuurei can fulfill her lifelong dream of doing just that. Conveniently, this also turns out pretty well for Saiunkoku as a whole.
In Junjou Romantica, Usagi trips over this trope when Misaki's brother (who doesn't know Usagi and Misaki are lovers) persuades him that Misaki would be happier living with him and his wife, since Misaki's never really known what a proper family is supposed to be like. Because Misaki has never been able to just ''ask'' for what he wants, he goes along with this, even though it's actually making him miserable, though Usagi figures it out in one of the series' most touching scenes.

Close Anime and Manga

Zhantee in Elf Quest is hopelessly in love with Leetah even though she already has a lifemate, Cutter. When Zhantee develops the power to generate a protective shield he uses it on a number of occasions to save Leetah from attacks. The irony here is that the elves have open marriages and both Leetah and Cutter would have been happy to allow Zhantee into their relationship. Zhantee was just too shy to ask. Zhantee later dies in Cutter's arms during a human-elf conflict, and as he dies he shows Cutter a vision of the child that he and Leetah could have had.
David Qin in Strangers In Paradise realizes that Kathoo loves Francine more than she could ever love him, that he retreats to Japan. When Tambi tries to confront David concerning why he hasn't gotten Katchoo pregnant (in order to produce a family heir), he proposes that Tambi could carry this heir, on the condition that she leave Katchoo alone with Francine.
- Tambi then proceeds to fall in love with him herself, but still wants him to be with Katchoo since it's her that he loves.
There's a Little Archie comic story in which Veronica finds out she's moving away. When Betty hears this news, she's at first ecstatic, believing she'll now have Archie all to herself. But after seeing how majorly depressed Archie is about Veronica moving, Betty convinces the oil dealer Mr. Lodge is selling his house to that there are ghosts inhabiting the mansion, causing him to call off the deal. When Jughead asks why she's glad that the Lodges are staying, Betty replies, "If Archie's happy, then I'm happy."
Immediately after finding out that Sonic The Hedgehog loves Princess Sally and not her, Mina the Mongoose takes a bullet for Sally, as you can see in this scan◊. (This doubles as Mina's Crowning Moment Of Awesome.)

Close Comic Books

The climactic scene of Casablanca. In fact this trope could simply be renamed "We'll always have Paris."
As well as the (far less) climactic scene of Bruce Almighty:
God: Grace. You want her back?
Bruce: No. I want her to be happy, no matter what that means. I want her to find someone who will treat her with all the love she deserved from me. I want her to meet someone who will see her always as I do now, through Your eyes.
God: Now THAT'S a prayer.
The end of There's Something About Mary shows Ted redeem his earlier behaviour by going out of his way to ensure Mary's happiness by reuniting her with her ex-boyfriend, with the twist that Mary realizes that she'd ultimately be happiest with Ted.
In Bedazzled (at least the 2000 remake), Elliot uses most of his wishes trying to make Alison fall in love with him. He uses his final wish to give her a happy life instead. He then asks her out normally, and she turns him down. However, he does wind up with someone else who looks identical to her.
This put the "bitter" in the Bittersweet Ending of Imagine Me & You.
Han Solo makes a heroic effort in this direction in Return of the Jedi when he thinks that Leia is in love with Luke. Leia quickly disabuses him of his Relative Error, much to Han's relief.
Norrington from Pirates Of The Caribbean, gently admonishing Will to attend to Elizabeth with every ounce of care and devotion (and then some) that Will put into making Norrington's sword.
The main character of The Butterfly Effect spends the whole movie going back in time to try and end up with the girl, mucking things up more and more, before figuring out that I Want My Beloved To Be Happy is the only way to go. In fact, this Aesop is taken to an extreme, as in everyone in the world would be better off without knowing you at all.
- In an alternate ending, the character figures that out as well, and strangles himself in the womb. God knows why they don't show that one on TV...
Near the end of the Disney film Beauty And The Beast, the Beast releases Belle from the castle so that she can help her father. Because the only way for him (and his entire castle) to return to their human forms is for the Beast and Belle to fall in love (to which she has not yet confessed), by allowing his beloved to be happy, he's [temporarily] doomed them all. Oh, irony.
In Cinderella 3: A Twist in Time, Lady Tremaine gets Anastasia engaged to the Prince by magically turning back time a year, brainwashing the Prince into thinking he danced with Anastasia at the ball, and then transfiguring her daughter into Cinderella's likeness when all of the previous fail. Ultimately, Anastasia realizes that no matter how much she loves the Prince and wants a man to love her, the Prince really loves Cinderella. This prompts her to defy her mother and undo all of the damage they'd done. Of course, Anastasia is later rewarded when she and a baker fall in love with each other.
Similarly at the end of the Disney adaptation of The Hunchback Of Notre Dame, where Quasimodo realizes Esmeralda would actually be happy with Phoebus, despite the longing he has for her and the rather petty dislike he has for Phoebus.
Played with in Strange Days: Mace is vocally dismissive of Lenny's pathetic pining for his ex-girlfriend Faith, and is quick to remind him that she doesn't love him any more and that he needs to move on. However, Mace herself is in love with Lenny and ends up reluctantly helping out with his attempts to protect (and win back) Faith because ultimately she wants him to be happy, and he so clearly isn't.
A particularly excellent example is in the film Witness. Even though Detective John Book has fallen in love with the Amish widow Rachel, he knows that he would never fit in with her people. He gives his blessing to her union with his rival Daniel (an Amish man who has loved Rachel long before Book even arrived), knowing that in the long run he is the man who would make a better husband for her. An example of how affecting this trope is if written well.
Some Kind Of Wonderful is an instance where a woman decides that she wants her beloved to be happy. Keith Nelson has spent the entire movie pursuing the hottest girl in school, and by the end she's fallen in love with him. But she also realizes that he'd be much happier with his tomboyish best friend Watts (who is very obviously in love with Keith). In the end, Amanda tells Keith to go to Watts and tell her about his feelings for her.
- Considering that Keith had pursued Amanda for the entire movie (and for quite some time before) and that Keith had no particular reason for his abrupt change of heart except that the end of the movie had been reached, this plotline could be considered a major wallbanger — although naturally your milage may vary, especially for those who ~~are blinded by nostalgia~~ grew up watching the movie.
Weebo in Flubber. Which is just as well, as she's a non-humanoid robot in love with an (engaged) absent-minded professor.
Aggravating example in Jab We Met when Aditya tries to reunited Geet and Anshuman. Subverted because Geet is actually in love with Aditya at this point, and lets him know it. They then get married and presumably live happily ever after.
Aragorn encourages Arwen to go to the Undying Lands, claiming that they couldn't be together because he was mortal and she an elf and eventually, they will part in death. Keep in mind that humans and elves have a different afterlife. Even in death, they will not be together. But in the end, Arwen chose to live as a mortal, meaning that when she died, she will go to the human afterlife.

Close Film

The e.e. cummings poem "it may not always be so".
In Gaston Leroux's The Phantom Of The Opera, Erik/The Phantom allows Christine to go off with Raoul and be happy. In the movie, he becomes a Stalker With A Crush and has to be brutalized.
This is the whole plot of Cyrano De Bergerac, and the inspiration of the imitators of his method.
In Lois Mc Master Bujold's novel The Curse of Chalion Cazaril, the protagonist, decides he's not young or rich enough to be a good match for Betriz, who's half his age, and tries to set her up with his friend Palli. She however is having none of it. It's Cazaril she wants, especially if she can persuade him to shave off his beard.
In The Brothers Karamazov, Dmitri Karamazov plans to commit suicide due to the circumstances immediately surrounding him and the disgrace he perceives is upon him, and decides that before he goes he's going to make her happy one last time. He ends up with her, but those aforementioned circumstances really bite him in the ass later.
In Anne Mc Caffrey's The Rowan, Designated Best Friend Afra Lyon pines away for the title character, only to wait too long and watch Marty Stu Jeff Raven swoop in and claim her. (Though, being a powerful telepath, The Rowan knew that nearly all along, but doesn't want to ruin their friendship, admitting that she would've turned to Afra eventually.) Made creepier by the fact that Afra's loyalty is "rewarded" by hooking up with The Rowan and Jeff's youngest daughter, Damia.
- Seems to be a favorite trope of Dame McCaffrey. A similar situation develops in Pern's Harper Hall Trilogy: Masterharper Robinton starts to get intimate with prized pupil Menolly, despite Menolly being involved with his previous prized pupil, Sebell. Robinton nips it in the bud, citing their age, position, and her previous attachments. All this despite the fact that, as Menolly states "[She] loved [him] first". (And later we find that Sebell knew all about Menolly's feelings, but understood and accepted them ~~and probably would not have adverse to going the Poly route~~.)
- Let's face it, Anne Mc Caffrey hasn't got a goddamn clue how to write romance.
In the historical novel The Lady Royal by Molly Costain Haycraft, Princess Isabel of England (daughter of Edward III) is engaged to marry Bernard d'Albret, a young man with whom she is deeply smitten. However, she learns that Bernard has a strong religious vocation and wishes to become a monk, despite the wishes of his tyrannical mother. Isabel breaks off the engagement in such a way that it allows him to enter the monastery under the pretense of a broken heart.
Deconstructed in Jane Austen's Pride And Prejudice: Elizabeth realizes that her happiness at Mr. Wickham's engagement to Miss King means that, while she cares about him, she was never in love with him. Were she in love with him, she would have nothing but contempt for him for choosing another girl.
One of the more classic examples occurs at the end of Charles Dickens's A Tale Of Two Cities when Sydney Carton, knowing his beloved Lucie will never love him as she loves Darnay uses his near identical likeness to Darnay to take his place on death row, allowing Lucie and Darnay to escape together while he is executed in Darnay's place.
Troy, in the V.C. Andrews Casteel series, after finding out that he and Heaven (the protag) are uncle-and-niece (oh those wacky VC Andrews incestuous relationships) cuts off contact with her for her own good, then inadvertently fakes his own death, then leaves Heaven alone for a while, believing he's dead, so she can date and marry Logan, then after a few years they get together for a last fling, during which Heaven's daughter is conceived and Heaven returns to live the rest of her life with Logan.
In Captain Blood (the novel, not the film), Blood believes Arabella to be in love with another man and is willing to let her go. When he realizes that she is not going back to England with this man, it dawns on him that he has hope.
In the Twilight series, Edward leaves Bella for these reasons.
- Actually, he Wants His Beloved To Be Safe. Happy, not so much.
Beautifully subverted in the Valdemar series by Mercedes Lackey. Dirk spends about half his time pining over Talia and the other half trying to get her together with his best friend Kris, and ends up thoroughly exasperating both Talia and Kris, since the former is in love with Dirk and the latter just wants to see his two dearest friends happy, preferably with each other. Shame about Ancar, really.
In the last two books in the Harry Potter series, Remus Lupin does this regarding Tonks. Subverted in that he's the only person who ever thinks it's necessary, because Tonks wants to be with him and most of the people they know want them to be together too. Also, Lupin doesn't act the way he does because he thinks Tonks should be with a specific other person, he just thinks she deserves better than him.
- Also done when Harry distances himself from Ginny in the final book, determined not to tie her down to his dangerous fate and willing to sacrifice his own happiness so that she could have a happy life.
- And Ginny herself when Harry was pursuing Cho.
In Beastly, Kyle allows Lindy to go rescue her sick father despite it possibly meaning losing his chance to turn human forever. In fact, he nearly releases her several times since he finds it very hard to believe that anyone can love a monster.

Close Literature

For the first five episodes of Pushing Daisies, Olive pursues Ned relentlessly, to the point of considering blackmailing Chuck, the girl he's actually interested in. By the sixth episode, though, she's decided that she just wants him to be happy—even though she's still hoping he'll wind up being happy with her.
In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Tara tells Willow "you have to be with the one you love". Tara is convinced that Willow will go back to her ex-boyfriend Oz, and is astonished and happy when Willow's answer is "I am".
- This is Angel's reason for leaving Buffy - he doesn't think she can be truly happy with him. This is an extreme case of I Want My Beloved To Be Happy - there is no "other guy" in sight at the time, Angel just wants Buffy to have the opportunity to have a normal relationship.
Rose Tyler does this in the Doctor Who episode "Boom Town". This decision appears to last for just two episodes. Her boyfriend, Mickey Smith, however, does it constantly.
- The Doctor himself does this in "Journey's End," sort of.
For the first two seasons of The Office (American), Jim tries to be this with Pam, but ultimately fails due to Roy's poor treatment of Pam (i.e. he'd probably be happy that she's happy, except she isn't happy).
The Red Dwarf episode "Camille" ends with Kryten losing his love interest, the titular Camille, in a spoof of the Casablanca scene.
- Played both straight AND subverted by Arnold J. Rimmer as he realizes that Nirvana Crane has willingly surrendered her existence on the hologram ship so that he may get a position in her place. He immediately turns in his resignation to return to the Red Dwarf, stating that "we won't be apart, we just won't be together" and in doing so quoting exactly a romantic movie he saw at the start of the episode. He instantly realizes this and adds "I can't believe I just said that!"
- Averted by Lister, who pursues his dream girl Kochanski through a time hole after finding a picture of himself marrying her. When he finds her hotel room and he sees another man's shoes, he realizes that the groom in the photo is not himself, but the other guy. As he abandons the idea of getting together with her (and bemoaning the yuppie type of man she probably married), she opens the door and invites him to meet her new husband... who in fact DOES turn out to be himself, from several years in the future.
An interesting subversion occurs on In Plain Sight with one of the witness couples. They were a very unhappy but very devout Catholic couple when they see a priest murdered. Because of their faith they cannot get divorce even though it is quite obvious they hate each other at this point. To make a long story short she has found someone else that she likes and they both know this but she wouldn't dare cheat. He ends up faking his death so that she can move on. She not really his beloved but she is his wife and he admires her very much and in order for her to be happy she can't be tied to him. So he fakes his own death and gets witsec to help him get relocated again. At the end the man she really loves is comforting her as he sneaks out the back.
On Battlestar Galactica, Sam Anders does this, but Kara ultimately sticks with him.
- In "Rapture" Lee orders Dualla to undertake a risky rescue of Kara Thrace. Dualla knows perfectly well what motivates this order and is not happy about it, but obeys her husband and superior officer anyway.
Patrick from Coupling almost does this to Sally: "You need Mr. Amazing, Mr. Incredibly-Superbly-Fantastic-Ness. In your heart, I'm sure you know I'm right." Subverted because he was talking about himself.
On Guiding Light Olivia decides Natalia's faith and happiness would suffer if they ever got together, so she decides to talk her into marrying the good man Frank. Much angst was caused.
In the U.S. version of Queer As Folk, Brian refuses to try to dissuade Justin from leaving him for Ethan, but at the same time continues to lend Justin money for college and pushes him to keep working on his comic with Michael. He even punches Michael when Michael attempts to take Brian's side in the split. Of course, Brian still can't tell Justin he loves him.
This is somewhat subverted in Law&Order:SVU in the episode "Birthright" with a woman and a little girl. This is because the little girl is actually the woman's daughter biologically. As Cabot practically harasses the little girl on the stand, the little girl denies that the woman is her biological mother and cried for the mother that raised her. In the end, the woman loves her "daughter" too much to see her upset so, she quits fighting for the custody of the little girl and moves out of New York. It was a pretty upsetting episode.
On Gossip Girl Chuck tells Blair he has no romantic feelings for her and is only playing a game, and sends her off to be with his best friend. When Serena asks why he would say that his reply is: "Because I love her. And I can't make her happy." The following episode he goes out of his way to make sure Blair has the perfect prom as envisioned in her secret prom scrapbook, without even telling her he is orchestrating it, just to see her be happy.

Close Live Action TV

The Beatles song "Anna" could be an example of this, with an engaged man breaking it off with his fiance Anna because another man loves her more. However, it could simply be that he's used to every woman he loves leaving him.
"You're in Love" by Wilson Phillips is definitely an example of this, though.
"Diary" by Bread appears to be this, as well, though it could simply be a man giving in gracefully to the impending loss of his love to someone else.
ABBA's The Winner Takes It All.
Belle and Sebastian's song "Jonathan David" is an example of this, though the Biblical theme in the song ("I was Jonathan to your David") gives way to another interpretation.
Ne-Yo's song "Fade Into The Background" is about the singer attending the wedding of the woman he loves, deciding he's just going to let her be happy with somebody else and "smile and fade into the background."
- Also Back to What You Know from the same album deals with this. He even sings in the bridge "I'd rather you be happy\Then you be miserable with me".
Somewhat subverted in Mariah Carey's song "Butterfly" - she sings that she'll allow her lover to fly away and experience other things because if he's truly hers, he'll come back to her eventually.
In Choidos's song "Lindsay Quit Lollygagging" the singer is coming from the second version of this perspective.
Bite my tongue, right now the perfect time
Do anything to make her happy
Even if it means my being miserable
As long as she's loving life
Alanis Morrisette's "You Oughta Know" subverts this trope with the opening lines: "I want you to know/I'm happy for you./I wish nothing but/The best for you both." followed by an extended F-U to the guy she's singing to.
"Teardrops on My Guitar" by Taylor Swift. Inspired by a guy she knew in Real Life before she became famous.
The Frou Frou song "It's Good To Be In Love" is about the long, slow path toward this.
How the hell did "Free Bird" not get mentioned here?!

Close Music

Many tellings of the legend of King Arthur have him tolerate the love affair between his wife Guineviere and champion knight Lancelot because he loves them both too much to see them suffer.
- Likewise, Guineviere refuses to run off with Lancelot because she still loves Arthur.
- ITTRC, in the TV adaptation of The Mists Of Avalon, Arthur's solution to this problem is a threesome.
Going back further, Emer and Fand both loved Cu Chulainn so much that they BOTH were willing to give him to the other.

Close Mythology

Cyrano De Bergerac is about the original Cyrano helping the handsome Christian win the heart of the woman they both love, Roxane. He does this because Roxane is already fond of Christian (who's genuinely a decent guy, just lacking in wit), and Cyrano himself believes he's too ugly to ever have a chance with her. Unfortunately for them both, Roxane does fall in love with Christian, but only because of the words Cyrano gave him to use... She eventually learns the truth, but only after Christian has died in battle, and while Cyrano is dying from a mortal wound, denying it all.
A Very Potter Musical lampshades this trope's presence in its source material with repeated references to the Spider-Man films.

Close Theater

This is probably the reason Zelos Wilder is so intent on hooking Lloyd Irving and Sheena Fujibayashi up in Tales Of Symphonia.
- While not quite the same, Colette cares so much about Lloyd, that's she's willing to give up her life so that the world will be Regenerated, so that he'll be able to live happily in a peaceful world. Doesn't work: Because Light Is Not Good, meaning what the Big Bad wanted would happen, and her "death" would hurt Lloyd more than anything- so he stops the salvation of the world by killing an Angel, fighting a former ally, however, his luck runs out against the Big Bad. Until Yuan's organization interferes. After she's restored to her former self, she never considers doing that again.
Vincent Valentine does this in Final Fantasy VII to everyone on the planet's lasting regret.
- To be fair, it probably wouldn't have mattered. We're talking about Hojo here. If Vincent hadn't given Lucretcia the I Want My Beloved To Be Happy speech, the only difference would be that he might've ended up being Sephiroth's father instead of Hojo. Which might have made things worse for all we know.
Snake's jealousy of Naomi for her relationship with his best friend is quite clear in Metal Gear Solid 4, but at the same time he becomes furious with her when she breaks his heart.

Close Video Games

Rumy in Fans! exemplifies this trope, having seemingly made it her life's mission to ensure that Rikk is happy with Alisin as a way of dealing with the fact that she's been hopelessly in love with him since before Rikk even knew Alisin's name. At the end of the strip, however, Alisin and Rikk care too much about Rumy to let her sacrifice her own happiness for them, and they convince her to join them in a three-way relationship, which works out well for all of them.
In El Goonish Shive, gay Justin is in love with straight Elliot, and isn't quite sure what to do about it. One strip shows Justin, after an inevitable Gender Bender (this is EGS, after all) looking at Elliot's girlfriend Sarah and thinking "How dare you be someone I can't dislike..."
Happens to Ping in Megatokyo, as she is programmed to help lonely young men gain confidence with women and support them in forming relationships. She briefly attempts to 'protect Piro from being hurt' and tries to convince him that a relationship with an android programmed to provide emotional support would be much safer, in the end however she is forced to stand aside for Kimiko.
In Namir Deiter, Twofer (Hispanic lesbian) Gabby tries to fix her best friend, main character Tipper Namir, up with her Jerk With A Heart Of Gold cousin, partially to ease the tension developed after Gabby confessed her feelings for Tipper and Tipper gently put her down. Resolved later when Gabby hooks up with a fellow Twofer art student (to whom she'd confided the previous situation).
- And Gabby proceeds to go through it again , when she endures Jacinda's Anything That Moves attitude, before finally getting fed up with being taken for granted and breaking things off herself.
Occurs fairly early on in Questionable Content: Faye finally explains to Marten why she's been putting out such drastically mixed signals towards his romantic overtures and why she can't have a relationship with anyone right then, especially the kind Marten wants. She agrees to seek help for her issues, but only on the condition that Marten doesn't try to wait for her.
Torg has had a crush on Zoe for most of Sluggy Freelance, but he never tells her how he feels, and at one point even resolves never to speak to her again, because he's worried that Oasis (a crazy jealous, immortal assassin) will kill Zoe for getting between her and Torg. Currently, Torg is actively searching for a way to permanently stop Oasis, in part so that he and Zoe can finally be together.
In 1/0 Ghanny helps Terra break her self-imposed fourth wall and come out of the closet to confess her love for Zadok as talked about here
Sabrina Online: Zig Zag isn't so much in love with the title character as she's infatuated with her. And she knows it. There's also the fact that Sabrina is straight, a tad prudish, and is rather Squicked by Zig Zag's Anything That Moves attitude. Zig would settle for getting Sabrina to come out her shell and enjoy life.
In General Protection Fault, Nega-Ki is shown developing some feelings for Nick, having been repulsed by Nega-Nick's cruelty, and after charging him to distract him and getting mortally wounded in the process, tells her counterpart to love him and promise her they will be happy together. Trudy also has this mindset for Nick, combined with being The Atoner, in the To Thine Own Self arc.

Close Webcomics

In ''Bender's Big Score'', Fry acts at first to disrupt Leela and Lars' budding relationship, because he is desperately in love with Leela himself. He eventually learns the trope lesson to a T, and goes so far as to reunite the two even after they've broken up on their own. Complicated because it turns out that Lars is Fry, a duplicate created by time travel that lived in the past for twelve years before learning the lesson, having his hair burned, voice changed and freezing himself again.
- Ironically, Lars himself does this. Upon learning that as a duplicate created from time travel he was inevitably doomed to die soon, he calls off the wedding because he wished to spare Leela the pain of her husband dying.
Danny Phantom in one episode where after much struggling to accept Danny and Valerie together, Sam slowly and silently lets the two pursue their relationship. Lucky for her, Valerie breaks up with Danny before the relationship could even start, giving Sam a lucky pass.
In the Teen Titans episode "Things Change", Beast Boy encounters a Schoolgirl bearing a striking resemblence to his once petrified former girlfriend Terra. Eager to resume the relationship, he is met with considerable resistance on the part of the Schoolgirl when she repeatedly explains to Beast Boy that she does not wish to be associated with Terra, or Terra's bad deeds. Ultimately, Beast Boy realizes the strain he has put The Schoolgirl through when she explains that, though he may enjoy being a Titan, she just wants to be normal, and he leaves the Schoolgirl to enjoy a normal life, and attend to his responsibilities.
AndrAIa in Re Boot couldn't leave her game world with the boy she fell for (that would be Enzo, in case you can't tell), so she created a copy of herself and hid her on him in icon form, making this a rare example of a character conceding their beloved to their self.
Cody in Total Drama Island did this. He falls in love with Gwen, but she's too infatuated with someone else. After numerous attempts to try and win her over, she helps her end up with the guy she wants. Later he declares that as long as Gwen's happy, she's happy.
Happens briefly in Anastasia when Dimitri decides to go back to Russia without the massive monetary reward offered to him for reuniting Anastasia and her grandmother because, as he says, "princesses don't marry kitchen boys". But of course, he comes back when she gets her dumb ass in danger and she goes and makes her beloved happy by renouncing her crown and eloping with him.
In an episode of Family Guy where Peter was lost at sea and presumed dead, Lois ended up remarrying Brian (who has always held a torch for Lois), When Brian discovers that Lois and Peter are having an affair behind his back he goes to confront them, but overhears Lois breaking off the affair with Peter because of the commitment she made to Brian. In response, Brian promptly agrees to end the marriage so Lois can go back and be with Peter.

Close Western Animation

Interpretations vary, but Søren Kierkegaard basically did this to his fianceé Regine when he abandoned her. He went as far as to destroy his own public reputation so that people would think that she had broken up with him, that he was the problem. In the time they lived in, a man breaking off an engagement with a woman reflected really badly on the woman, and could ruin her reputation for years. Kierkegaard didn't want to see this happen to Regine. The emotional fallout became the backdrop for his writings about philosophy and religion.
This is actually a pretty common (and fairly painful) example of Truth In Television.
- Damn right it is.
  - Why can't the threesome solution work out more often?!
- This trope sets the highest bar for why Love Hurts.
- Though it might be worth it to invert the trope: when one knows that one is a better choice for the other, the trope becomes I Want My Beloved To Be Happy With Me! This Troper can attest this can work (then again, it might just be that he has a stupidly big ego, and just got lucky that time).

Close Real Life

Main Tropes Index

Troperville

Editing Help

Tools

Toys

Examples