Machinima / Gamer Poop

Gamer Poop was a Machinima series, now struggling for donations[1], by MANS1AY3R[2] which edits video and audio from various video games to create humorous (and quite often hilarious) scenes loosely based in and around the games he enjoys. So far the following games have been Gamer Pooped:

It looks something like this:

  • Affectionate Parody
  • The Aggressive Drug Dealer: Ysolda will go to any lengths necessary to establish her crackhouse.
  • All Just a Dream: "Well, soldier? Are you up for this ass?" Much to the annoyance and depression of the man having it. "It's just a dream," he sighs...
    • Bedmate Reveal: ...At which point, a near-naked man stands up and walks off.
    "Nope. Better."
    "Do you like... my pretty pussy?"
  • All Love Is Unrequited: Captain Bailey carries a torch for Shepard.
  • Alternate Character Interpretation: Everyone is given this treatment in-universe:
    • Shepard is now a cross-dressing nymphomaniac with a fetish for steak.
    • Garrus gives little children drugs and wants to have Shepard touch his rectum.
    • Liara is a Reaper Doomsday Device. Later, she becomes OPTIMUS PRIME!
    • Jarl Balgruuf was a little girl in France.
    • Azura commands an entire realm inside Nelacar's anus. The rest of the tavern encourages him to sh!t her out into a cauldron, much to his chagrin.
    • Ulfric Stormcloak started the Skyrim civil war in order to steal Elisif's secret recipe for nachos.
    • Sheogorath is the crossdressing Daedric Prince of Douchebaggery who buys an entire of supply of "divine sluts" at once... which still fits into his canon personality.
    • Nazeem is flamboyant and really, really wants someone to ravish him.
    • Preston Garvey has a sexual fetish for settlements.
    • Scott Ryder is a Covert Pervert who likes watching recordings of his own conception, asks inappropriate questions about alien anatomy, and asks everyone on dates.
    • Drack fucks on the first date and skips the dinner.
    • Dr. Ramirez is a public masturbator and wants to enslave everyone.
    • Dr. Carlyle humps the comatose Sara Ryder.
    • Addison - or rather, her face - is now not only in control of everything related to the Andromeda Imitative, it harbors a Terminator-like hatred for Ryder's existence.
  • Anything That Moves: Their take on Commander Shepard veers into Memetic Molester territory.
    • Various Skyrim NPCs ascribe to the motto of "any hole is a goal". Even if it belongs to a hagraven.
  • Aren't You Going to Ravish Me?: Nazeem seems disappointed that a guard doesn't want to rip his clothes and ravage the area.
  • Ascended Meme: MaleShep voice actor Mark Meer is fully aware of MaleShep's catchphrase from the Mass Effect videos.
  • Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever A giant chicken attacks Whiterun.
  • Ax-Crazy: In Oblivion #2, an orc on the streets gives us the following, which turns out to be not actually a dream, when the guy wakes up to find him feeding a kitten in the middle of the city's flaming ruins:
    Orc: A little bird told me "Go, go! Socialize! Talk to those fine people! And then KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!!! PLUNGE YOUR KNIFE INTO THEIR THROATS WHEN THEY AIN'T LOOKING AND THEN BURN 'EM TO THE GROUND!!!" Well that's silly, isn't it? HahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....!
  • Berserk Button: Don't hoard any of Ysolda's cocaine. Ever.
  • Bestiality Is Depraved: The Dovahkiin eagerly awaits an attractive female pleasuring him. In the morning, it turns out a goat was sucking him off.
    • The Whiterun guards really like their hagraven meat.
    "Of course. I caught a glimpse of that captured hagraven's beautiful tits."
    • They also implore Dovahkiin to indulge.
    "Dovahkiin. You. Better work work WORK. That hairy coochie."
    • Emperor Titus Mede is a cow fucker.
    • Oblivion gives us an elf virgin who is upset about his predicament.
    "Out of my way! I once fondled a deer, and I'll do it again!"
    • Fallout 4 has an Institute scientist who's insulted when his "yanking" skills are questioned, and challenges the Sole Survivor to compete with him.
    "I can yank at a momentous pace, in fact I can yank a gorilla for an hour and still not get too attached. Any chance you can take that on? I say let's give it a try"
  • Bigger Is Better in Bed: Cicero has one that's apparently been predicted by sages... and turns Balgruuf into a giant walrus.
    • "You see those warriors from Hammerfell? They've got curved... penises. BIG... curved. Penises."
  • Black Comedy Rape: Garrus does this to Shepard with it being censored by technical difficulties.
    Garrus: Are you ready to be a woman?
  • *Bleep*-dammit!: Words are censored with a total lack of consistency. Or rather, they're bleeped only when the maker couldn't find the right syllables to stitch together.
    Hammerfell Warrior: Fuck all that singing and shit.
  • Breast Expansion: There's a reason the show's called "Battle Tits", and Shepard sees why in person.
  • Brick Joke: Diana ends up regretting her battle tits due to Shepard's Male Gaze.
    • In Skyrim, the kids operating a drug cartel.
    • During the DJ Arretino section, Braith can be seen in all her "finery" dancing among the other kids.
  • Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: When Shepard offers his squadmates some icebreakers to talk to the females at a party:
    Shepard: " What's with sausage fest?"
    Garrus: "Well, we don't know exactly what we need to do..
    Shepard: " (short laugh) i'm Commander Shepard, but i guess i'm now your therapist, you could say, 'Hey,' 'What's your name?' 'Would you like something to drink?' 'What sounds will you make when my cock destroys your pusssieeeeee?' You know..."
    Garrus: " I don't know Shepard"
    Shepard: "Yes you can, say that loud and proud!"
  • Call-Back: In the first Mass Effect 3 Gamer Poop episode, we see Shepard talk to Diana about joining the crew to work on her "Battle Tits" show. In the fifth installment of the series, we are finally treated to a broadcast of said program.
  • Camp Gay: Many, many times. The best example is "Skyrim Shuffle"
    And twirl, honey, twirl! TWIRL, honey, TWURL!
    • Paladin Danse shows off his moves on the "danse floor", but don't you dare trying to outdo him. "I'm the star here."
  • Captain Ersatz: Batface and Super Gai.
  • Catch-Phrase: Shepard's "We'll bang, ok?"
  • Chic And Awe: After someone brags about his wealth, house and sexual prowess, a character dressed in a revealing tavern clothes walk by, accompanied by sensual music. As this is Gamer Poop... it's a man.
  • Commander Contrarian: Hilariously inverted in a sketch set in the final level in Mass Effect 3. In this case, Anderson is the one making insane plans that would result in massive civilian and friendly casualties for no net gain, and Shepard is the one protesting. Anderson continuously shuts him up.
  • Creepy Crossdresser: The entire population of Bruma, much to the player character's horror.
  • Curse Cut Short: "Shepard, I'm a Reaper doomsday device." "Oh, SHI-" *cut to next sketch*
  • Dance Battler: A particularly camp Blade who manages to dodge every attack from an opponent during their training session in Ep.1 of the Oblivion poop.
  • D-Cup Distress: Ashley Williams in the sixth Mass Effect poop. Shepard reassures her in his usual way:
    Ashley: I hate my titties.
    Shepard: Hey. They're fine, Ash. They're so damn fine. I think they're just stuck in those super-tight clothes.
  • Drag Queen: A recurring motif. To drinking game levels.
    • Shepard is the official Alliance Drag Queen, although Tali objects.
  • Does This Remind You of Anything?: An elf asks Nazir (the Dark Brotherhood without the "hood" part) how to use his manhood. Cut to Nazir's face bent near the elf's crotch, as something white splatters all over his face while they both groan in exertion to pound out sweetrolls, which is a perfectly good way to be manly. The white stuff was glazing.
  • Early Installment Weirdness: The earlier episodes focused more on surrealism and non sequitur, while the newer episodes have gone for lots of innuendo and Ho Yay.
    • Earlier Fallout 3 entries were also devoid of text, making it somewhat hard to follow what is being said by characters. The addition of subtitles and Title Cards greatly improved the jokes.
  • Escalating Punchline: "Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRR fruits."
  • Everyone Is Bi / Everyone Is Gay
  • Exorcist Head: Commander Shepard does this in Mass Effect 5, after hearing about an apparent sex tape.
  • Fan Disservice: Braith in a really, really slutty outfit and whore makeup. As put succinctly by the witnesses:
    • "I love... LOVE... moist towelettes. They feel so GLORIOUS upon my sweet ass. Watch." You're treated to the sight of asscheeks being wiped. (the screen even says "SHIELD YOUR EYES", with the text on the background displaying "cannot be unseen")
    • The dancing girls at the end of the first Fallout 4 Poop... unless you're into Big Beautiful Women.
    • Most of the drawings of Jarl Balgruuf like one of the French girls.
  • Fandom Rivalry: In-universe example:
    "For Skyrim!"
    "For Skyrim!"
    "For Skyrim!"
    "For Dragon Age!"
    *Everyone stops and turns around with a Record Scratch*
    "Uh... for... for Skyrim?"
    *Everyone chases after the poor Dragon Age fan, girly screaming ensues*
  • Fling a Light into the Future:
    Shepard: (to Ryder) Hello! Anybody hear me? Is this the future? We'll bang, OK?
  • Freeze-Frame Bonus: During the "What about the rest of your ass?" "You're lookin' at it!"]sketch, where an action prompt usually is in Mass Effect is the action "Flat Ass - Abandon".
    • Similarly, when one man in Skyrim attempts to purchase eight- no, NINE divine sluts, the interface flashes up "9001 Gold Removed" as he pays the stewardess.
    • In Oblivion 2, during the private dance, "why are you watching this you nasty freak!" pops up for a split second.
    • In Oblivion 3, during Thaedil's "juggling" number, a card pops up reading "WATCH AGAIN IN 3D!!!!!!!!!" In the bottom right-hand corner is the text *may or may not be real 3D and yes you still have to pay extra if you brought your own 3D glasses.
    • In Skyrim 7, a fake Blue Screen of Death will appear, with the additional dialogue:
      Insert your penis into the ethernet port to continue_
      (Don't worry, we know it will fit)
  • Freudian Slip: "I care about you, Ash- MIRANDA!"
  • Funny Background Event: During the second part of Jarl Baalgruf's rap as The Stinger, Sauron can be seen off to the side dancing.
  • Gag Boobs:
  • HAHAHA No: When the Champion of Cryodiil asks Obama if he can be Emperor.
  • Harmful to Minors/Troubling Unchildlike Behavior: Manipulating the lines of children to produce this is where a significant amount of the humor comes from, such as selling their bodies or selling drugs. Said children usually wind up dead, as well.
  • Hartman Hips: Dr. Eva Coré takes this to the absolute extreme. Shepard calls her "too valuable an ass to lose."
  • Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: Shepard makes pretty frequent statements about how much he loves females, even though in reality he's more of an omnisexual.
    Shepard: More importantly, pussy's my friend.
    Garrus: You sure?
  • He Knows Too Much: When Dr. Chocolates tells Shepard that she heard he's been working with the Reapers to abduct women, Shepard denies it, but internally proclaims that she knows too much.
    Shepard: Ah ah you old cunt it makes no sense (Screen turns red and creepy music plays) SHE KNOWS TOO MUCH!
  • Ho Yay: Pretty much the basis of most of the humor, especially in the more recent installments. invoked
    • Get your groove on, soldier! These boys work hard, but they play harder.
  • I Love the Dead: Lee and company screw zombies.
    • Commander Shepard screws reapers. Dead reapers.
    • Donald Trump made a lot of money screwing NINE zombies.
  • Inn of No Return: A barmaid in Oblivion keeps some of her rooms stocked with fresh zombies for customers she doesn't like.
  • The Internet Is for Cats: Shepard once spent all day watching cat videos online.
  • Interspecies Romance: Shepard once romanced a unicorn, with human breasts. He still thinks of her fondly enough that he freaked out when Jack says she knows about it.
    • Javik seems to freak Shepard out at first with his "human mating calls", but then Shepard says, "Stop that, you're making a scene...whisper that. Softly. In my ear."
  • It Amused Me: When asked why he's smuggling prostitutes into Diamond City, and later, why he's impersonating the Sole Survivor's wife, Deacon's only response is "Why not?"
  • It's All About Me: "I'm Commander Shepard. I'm right. Always am. Damn everyone else."
    Shepard:" It's not about you and me Liara, but it's about me and me "
  • Jailbait: In one of the Skyrim poops, there's a young girl dressed up like, uh, a woman of easy virtue. She approaches two adult men while arguing with her mother that she's old enough to know what she wants to do with her body. The two men quickly leave, highly disturbed, but not before flinging their bread at the girl and (somehow) killing her.
  • Jiggle Physics: A certain woman in Tamriel is complemented for this. As is a certain Orc.
    • "Let's get to training these double-D's!"
  • "Just Joking" Justification: A Skyrim tavern patron claims that while he wife is great, "every man needs a little man ass every now and then, right?" When no one else expresses their agreement, he tries to say he was just kidding. No one buys it.
  • Kissof Death: Happens rather literally when a Solitude guard makes out with the Dragonborn - erm, Derpboy. The guard then threatens to give "some sugar" to Batface and Super Gai, who both politely refuse.
  • Large Ham: "[Moist Towelettes] feel so GLORIOUS!!!! upon my sweet ass!"
  • Leaning on the Fourth Wall: "This is insane! Oblivion's being trolled!" "Damnit MANS1AY3R!"
  • Letting the Air Out of the Band: What happens when one man realizes that Sheogorath has already purchased every available piece of ass on sale.
    • The opening sketch of the second Skyrim video does this on the phrase, "*sigh*...son, your mother will pay for this."
  • Literal Metaphor: "LOOK OUT! IT'S A GIANT COCK!" (cue gigantic rooster)
  • Lovable Sex Maniac: Shepard.
  • Manipulative Editing: Almost all the series' humor comes from this. The one time it doesn't... it's from Sheogorath. Highly fitting, considering what Sheogorath is.
  • Manly Gay: "Go fiddling with any cocks here, or we're going to have a real... BIG party." A dance party completely made of up of random guards and Thalmor start. Jon Battle-Born suggests that they invite some women, and gets body slammed for his troubles.
    • One asks that you call him "Princess" and lost his manhood years ago.
    • Let's get to bashing butts, as well as deez nuts!
  • Meaningful Name: Mrs. Slut. Gloria Slut.
  • Mistaken for Gay: The guards dragged Cicero before Balgruuf because one of them thought he was a lady. Just because he takes care of his pretty, pretty body... oils it... PRESERVES IT... MASTURBATES IT...
  • Mr. Seahorse: One man in Skyrim unfortunately becomes this, and fears that he might end up in some holy book.
  • Moment Killer: It turns out the Catalyst created the Reapers to solely cockblock Maleshep.
  • Mood Motif: Whenever "The Wires" by Cheezrus plays, something ostensibly naughty is happening or is about to happen. DJ Dela's "I Love My Sex" and "Bleed" are getting popular, though.
  • Mood Whiplash: A lot of the humor comes from this.
    • In the sixth Skyrim video, there's not enough crack to provide the Stormcloaks with. In a heartwarming moment, everyone else in the shack donates their own crack to Ysolda, including the crack making girl who swiped some for herself. Ysolda reacts differently to that one, though.
    You crack-hoarding bitch!
    But thank you. I'll never forget you.
    [takes crack from dead kid's corpse]
  • Nightmare Face: "Have you seen my cute little monkey?"
  • Nobody Poops: Averted in the The Walking Dead poops-Lee soils himself when fighting one of the zombies.
    • Also, in the Mass Effect videos, the Normandy crew are forced to let Dr. Eva escape because Liara has to shit.
  • No Fourth Wall: The YouTube buffer symbol stops the video during a brief moment in the first Walking Dead video. Unfortunately, it happens to stop like this:
    "So, I screwed his precious little girl[BUFFERING]'s duck.
    • GP Oblivion #4 inserts a direct address to viewers during the Emperor's bathing scene. "So I take it you like watching men bathe?"
    • Happens as a Brick Joke in Oblivion #5 where a character addresses the viewer twice:
    "Why aren't you playing Skyrim? Why are you... watching me?"
    *a few sketches later*
    "Seriously? You're still here?"
  • Non-Standard Game Over: Liara should have taken a shit before chasing Dr. Eva Core.
  • Oedipus Complex: According to one sketch, Kaidan wants to "take his mother out to the streets and celebrate [the victory over the Reapers], dancing and f*cking!" Shepard is very upset.
    • One brother has a Skyrim citizen express sexual interest in his mother. His brother tells him that's disgusting, and to try sis instead.
  • "On the Next Episode of..." Catchphrase: "Find out between the Battle Tits."
  • Papa Wolf: The Sole Survivor may be a Gamer Poop character but he still cares for his son Shaun and is greatly distressed to see Mama Murphy having psychic sex with him or Kellogg flushing him down the toilet.
  • Piss-Take Rap: Jarl Ballin'.
    • Garrus Vakarian and Three-Dawg both do this with the same backing track in earlier episodes, albeit with Garrus receiving reduced enthusiasm when he points out his rectum.
  • Real Men Eat Meat: Ulfric shouts Anoriath off a ledge for suggesting that he eat fruits and vegetables.
  • Relax-o-Vision: The "SHIELD YOUR EYES" card that appears when a bard wishes to demonstrate how moist towelettes feel upon his ass. It disappears, unfortunately.
  • Robotic Reveal: After complaining how Benezia hid her Transformers toys from her, Liara reveals she has also become Optimus Prime! Shepard doesn't bat an eye and tells her to quit showing off.
  • Running Gag: Shepard's "we'll bang, OK?" line from the Mass Effect 3 poops is the most classic example of this trope, though "butt pirates" are mentioned occasionally throughout the series.
    • Shepard not shutting up about steak.
    • Three Dog's famous "Sometimes being bad feels pretty damn good" snippet (from Gamer Poop Fallout 3 #7) with Three Dog's catchphrase howling has made numerous comebacks in his Gamer Poops. Particularly with Garrus Vakarian. GP Skyrim #6 makes this a full feature, this time with Balgruuf, assisted with Nazir (who shares a voice actor with Three Dog).
    • "ARGH, IT BURNS!"
    • "Now dance!"
    • A woman turning out to be a man is common. Lampshaded when Commander Shepard starts suspecting that Traynor, who's coming on to him, could be a man.
    • The GIF of someone jiggling their buttocks is used to represent the word "ass" or "butt" in the subtitles.
    • The awesome face is used to censor words or private parts. In one of the Skyrim episodes, the coin design even seems to resemble an Awesome Face. invoked
    • At one point, subverted: it could have become a running gag in the Mass Effect poops that a Grissom Academy student would, in a deep voice that Reapers would love, go What the fuck?, in response to whatever nonsense Shepard subjects them to. The student tries it a second time, only to be told to shut up by Shepard.
    • Garrus Vakarian's rectum.
    • ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: 150G - Private Dance. Cue the Fan Disservice.
      • Averted with Shepard and Garrus doing the tango - correctly.
    • "You've got a real bounce to your chest!"
  • Signs of the End Times: Nearly quoted verbatim by a priest at the sight of Cicero's large penis.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Super Gai, when a guard wants to give him some sugar too.
  • Sorry, I'm Gay: After much egging from Tali, Femshep finally gets on the dance floor and "shake[s] that perfect ass" to attract a stranger. Unfortunately:
    "Uhm, excuse me... I like men."
  • Stalker Shrine: Legate Rikke has one dedicated to General Tullius.
  • Stay in the Kitchen: A common attitude towards females, especially in the Skyrim videos.
  • Stupid Statement Dance Mix: Many of these. Highlights include "Bringing Home the Booty" from Fallout 3 and "I'm not a dragon's bitch like you" from Skyrim.
  • Suddenly Ethnicity: Not for any character, but for the uploader, MANS1AY3R, who decided to do a Resident Evil 7 Let's Play on the side of his main videos...complete with a facecam. The fact that MANS1AY3R is very much a black man came as a (pleasant) surprise to the fanbase, especially after the jokes in Skyrim about Redguards having "curved penises."
  • I Did What I Had to Do: Shepard says that he's found a way to beat the reapers, so he says to Liara to comply to his requests, while EDI says that's logical to listen to him
    Shepard: I finally found a way to beat the Reapers
    Everyone Hell Yeah! Let's do it!
    Shepard: James, grab that ass, Miranda, hold this cock.
    Liara: What are you thinking, Shepard?
    Shepard: We can do it, just give control of your body and i'll stop them!
  • The One That Got Away: Shepard has a mild Freak Out! when Jack reminds him of a relationship he once had with a large-breasted unicorn, and is later shown gazing longingly at a photo of the two of them.
  • Too Much Information: Cicero's body-preserving habits that not only got him Mistaken for Gay, but nearly arrested.
    • Thanks, bard, for showing the viewers that you love your moist towelettes on your ass.
    • The conversation at the start of the fourth Skyrim video concludes in this way.
    "My nips are wet and have been in the air. Cold won't be good for my crotch, either, never is."
    "I think we're done talking."
    • One gets foisted on the man in the intro to the eight Skyrim window: the pub patrons all agree his wife is a very nice woman, but once he begins talking about how he needs a little man ass every once in a while, the pub goes silent, much to his disappointment.
    "It was just a joke!"
  • Trademark Favorite Food:
    • Shepard stays focused, because of how much he f*cking loves steak.
    • Turns out Nazir loves sweetrolls, which he accepts in exchange for teaching an elf how to use his smaller-than-average manhood effectively. "Bloody brilliant payment! Now go. Please your husband like never before!"
  • Unrequited Love: Captain Bailey has a ... disturbing love for Shepard.
  • Unsettling Gender Reveal: Balgruuf is apparently female in Skyrim Poop, much to the horror of his guards and a grab-happy Stormcloak soldier.
    "By the Gods, you're a man!"
    • Done again in many instances, like the Skyrim #6 example above.
    • See Bedmate Reveal above.
    • Lampshaded in Mass Effect #5 when Shepard starts suspecting that Traynor could be a man. She says she is. Mostly.
  • Unusual Euphemism:
    EDI: "I kissed Joker last night. But when I removed his jeans, I detected a very short anomaly."
    "Feel free to stick money in the Old Glory Hole!"
    Ashley: Whatever generates your "Mass Effect field"...
    Miranda: My father believed deeply in hand-picked pickles.
    "But you stole a young child's plaything... and inserted it into your plaything."
  • Verbal Backspace:
    Shepard: Never thought I'd spend 20 minutes (Klaxon!) A few hours (Klaxon!) Okay, all day on the internets.
  • Would Hurt a Child: The kid who called the Dragonborn a Dragon Bitch really should have thought about the consequences of smack-talking a man who can send people twice his size to Suplex City. Also, don't be a crack-hoarding bitch when your mother is struggling to get enough for the army.