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Literature: The Year of Secret Assignments
Mr. Botherit is an idiot.
What he has to say is that we have now finished Larkin, so next week, we will begin the Famous Ashbury-Brookfield Pen Pal Project. Specifically, we will write letters to students at Brookfield High, and they will become our pen pals. "And this," he says (whispering for dramatic effect), "will kill two birds with one stone!"
("Don't you dare kill any birds," Sasha Perkins said passionately.)
Mr. Botherit is holding one finger in the air: "A," he is saying, "it will reduce the hostility between our schools! And two," he holds up a second finger, "and two, it will be our stand against the tyranny of technology! By sending letters, we say no to e-mails! No to mobile technology and texting! And yes to the Joy of the Envelope!"

So begins The Year of Secret Assignments by Jaclyn Moriarty, a simple book about three girls (Lydia, Emily, Cassie) writing to three boys (Sebastian, Charlie, and Matthew, respectively.) Oh, except there are the aforementioned secret assignments, along with prank calls and falsely-pulled fire alarms and cars getting broken into.

Also, it's an Epistolary Novel, and a companion to Feeling Sorry for Celia. In some countries, it's known as Finding Cassie Crazy.

This story provides examples of:

  • Adorkable
  • Adults Are Useless: Averted with Emily's dad, played straight with Lydia's parents.
  • Affably Evil: Paul Wilson
  • Asshole Victim: Paul Wilson
  • Babies Make Everything Better: Lydia is unimpressed when Seb mentions that he looks after his baby brother, commenting, "I hope you weren't trying to impress me with that baby stuff. I think all guys should know how to look after a baby, especially if your mother's just had one."
  • Belligerent Sexual Tension: Charlie and Emily, Lydia and Seb, particularly the latter couple.
  • Big Brother Instinct: Seb to his baby brother.
  • Big Damn Heroes: Cassie, Charlie and Seb bursting in during the climax of the book to save the day.
  • Big Eater: Emily mentions eating a lot, mostly chocolate.
  • Break the Cutie: Cassie.
  • Brilliant, but Lazy: Lydia passes her Science exam with 98%. According to Emily, she "does that sort of thing when she feels like it."
  • Broken Record: Emily's third letter to Charlie:
    You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
    You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
    You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
    You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
    You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
    You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
    You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
    You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
    You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
    You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
    You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
    You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
    You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
    You talk a pile of crap. You talk a pile of crap.
    Yours faithfully,
    Emily Thompson.
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Emily, semi-literally.
  • Catchphrase: Emily at first has "Don't get me started!" but stops using it after Charlie lampshades and mocks it. Similarly, Charlie uses "Just say the word" before Emily gives him the same treatment.
  • Celeb Crush: Emily asks Cass what her ideal way of being asked out is:
    Cass says that her ideal way would be for the guy to be Brad Pitt and he can just call her up and ask.
  • Character Overlap: Elizabeth and Christina of "Feeling Sorry for Celia" appear briefly.
    • Also Emily mentions a girl in her year who ran away to the circus when on a rant to Charlie, which was what Celia did.
    • Bindy of The Murder of Bindy Mackenzie appears to give misinformation on Matthew Dunlop and to transcribe the pseudo-trial at the end of the book.
  • Cloudcuckoo Lander: Lydia. The other two girls have this as well, but Emily seems merely energetic whereas Cassie is just a bit distracted.
  • Cool Bike: One of Charlie's brothers has a motorbike.
  • Crazy-Prepared: Emily.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Lydia and Sebastian. Charlie has shades of this, but mostly because he is the Straight Man to Emily. Cassie has a few moments, too.
  • Determinator: When these girls want to accomplish something, they will stop at nothing.
  • Disappeared Dad: Cassie's dad died a year before the start of the novel.
  • Embarrassing Tattoo: Charlie's little sister Jess comes home with a tattoo of barbed wire around her wrist.
  • Genki Girl: Emily.
  • Hard-Drinking Party Girl: Lydia's mother.
  • Heroic BSOD: Cassie gets one after she finally meets Matthew Dunlop.
  • Imaginary Friend: For a while, Emily and Lydia think Cassie's pen pal is one of these.
  • Jerkass: Matthew Dunlop, aka Paul Wilson.
  • Knight Templar: Lydia is not happy when she finds out what Matthew Dunlop did to Cassie, and makes every effort to track him down and punish him.
  • Living Emotional Crutch: Cassie mentions in the book that she is trying to stand up on her own without Emily and Lydia's help so much, as she leant on them a lot shortly after her dad died.
  • Loveable Rogue: Seb, who constantly asks Lydia to meet up with him while they are penpals and flirts with her constantly.
  • Malaproper: Emily. Charlie even calls her out on it a few times, though no one else does.
    Emily: The ladies seem to really go for Lydia's dad (Justice Oberman). They love him! :) I have heard tell (from Lydia's mother) that Justice Oberman's name was once a cinnamon for sex god.
  • Mama Bear: Patricia, Cassie's mum.
  • Massive Numbered Siblings: Charlie has at least three brothers and a little sister.
  • Misanthrope: Lydia, slightly.
  • Motor Mouth: Emily, which goes with the territory of being a Genki Girl.
  • Oblivious to Love: Emily manages to miss out on some very obvious hints that Charlie loves her, as she's convinced he's in love with Christina.
  • Poor Communication Kills: Bindy Mckenzie says she's heard of a Matthew Dunlop when she's actually confused him with someone else, but this makes it a lot harder for the Lydia and Emily. Since Matthew Dunlop doesn't actually exist.
  • The Quiet One: Cassie's letters are nowhere near as long as Emily or Lydia's.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Matthew/Paul gives a brutal one to Cassie a little before Winter Term.
  • Running Gag: Emily constantly getting words wrong, Lydia confusing her stories for real life, and the secret assignments themselves.
  • The Shrink: Cassie's therapist Claire is of the "dopey and ineffective" category, so much so that both Cassie and her mother simultaneously agree to stop seeing her at the end of the book.
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Emily has some kind of grudge against Bindy, even before the aforementioned communication failure. One brilliant example occurs when Bindy is doing the transcript during the "trial" and asks when it finishes:
    Bindy: When can I stop typing?
    Emily: [sarcastically]] Now would be a good time, Bindy.
  • Smoking Is Cool: Lydia seems to think so.
  • Tall, Dark and Snarky: Seb.
  • Trademark Favorite Food: Emily loves chocolate so much that her nickname is Toblerone.
    Emily: I think it is an angiogram of Thompson, actually.

The Year of Rogue DragonsLiterature of the 2000sThe Years of Rice and Salt
XVIYoung Adult LiteratureYou Killed Wesley Payne

alternative title(s): The Year Of Secret Assignments
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