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"Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end..."
— The first and last lines, and ArcWords for the story as a whole
"The Ugly Barnacle" is a classic Short Story in the Pacific Literary Canon, the authorship of which is generally attributed to one Peter F. Patrick (then using the pen name 'Patrick Star'). According to legend, 'Star' improvised "The Ugly Barnacle" in an attempt to cheer up a friend who believed himself to be suffering from a case of The Ugly or The French Disease as it was then knownnote He in fact simply had a bad case of halitosis after eating a home-made "sundae" of sorts, though halitosis truly was a key indicator of the actual affliction . Unfortunately, the tale failed to console him in any manner whatsoever.Despite the fact that Barnacle failed to accomplish its initial and indeed primary goal, it eventually found its way to the intellectual community of the Département Bikini des Basses Terres. There many came to hail the story for its harsh realism, innovative use of minimalism, and detailed characterization. Slowly but surely, the story came to spread from its cradle within the nurturing environment of the Bikini des Basses Terres (where it was subject to some refinement, the story as most know it in fact being the Third Edition) to grace the entire world with its compelling narrative and execution.An animated film adaptation of the tale, also titled The Ugly Barnacle, was produced in 2000. Unusually, the movie is both a Film Of The Book and a Biopic, as it focuses on both the legendary story and the events surrounding its creation. The film managed to avoid many problems commonly faced by page-to-screen adaptations, a fact which many critics attributed to P.F. Patrick's extensive personal engagement with the film-making process, and the script-writing and casting+design in particular. Experience this work of art here, albeit dubbed over in English,and now in Castilian. Unfortunately the original French is not available, as the Département Bikini des Basses Terres Ministère de la Défaite claims exclusive French-language broadcast rights and has a very well-funded anti-piracy sub-office.
Ambiguous Situation: A number of tantalizing details are left out. We aren't told, for instance, how or why everyone dies, nor whether or not that includes the barnacle itself. Similarly, the barnacle's relationships with the rest of the cast are quite vague.
All Just a Dream: Sort of. In the end, it turns out to to be a story Patrick was telling to SpongeBob himself.
The Aloner: If the barnacle didn't die in the end, he probably became one of these.
And Man Grew Proud: One interpretation of the barnacle, of how it became ugly enough to kill everyone and of how, and why, we still tell its harrowing tale.
Apocalypse How: Could be Species Extinction, could also be Total Extinction, the latter depending on whether you interpret everyone dying as including things like plant life and bacteria.
It does specifically say everyone and not 'everything'', which heavily implies that non-sentient life survived
Crapsack World and/or Crapsaccharine World: In the Barnacleverse, the existence of a single unattractive crustacean is enough to trigger the Apocalypse. Despite this, Patrick narrates the tale like a bedtime story, and originally told it as an attempt to cheer upSpongebob.
Cruel Twist Ending: Without giving too much away, the ending is pretty merciless.
Curb-Stomp Battle: Nobody had any chance of stopping the Barnacle from killing everyone.
Technically unspecified.
Doorstopper: Possibly one of the harshest inversions of this trope in the history of fiction.
Death by Childbirth: Given the fate of most of the other characters, it stands to reason that the barnacle's parents were among the first to pass.
Deconstruction: Of the traditional fairy tale where the hero can overcome his or her challenges through believing in him or herself. Instead, everyone died.
Eyeless Face: Real Life Barnacles do not have eyes, or even any kind of identifiable facial features, so the reader can assume that the same applies to The Ugly Barnacle, and may be part of what makes it ugly enough to kill everyone.
Gainax Ending: The story starts off so happy, and then everyone dies.
Gambit Roulette: Assuming that the barnacle's actions were deliberate, there was really no way to guarantee that it would be potent enough to kill everyone.
Genre Shift: The viewer was promised an uplifting tale of someone overcoming their appearance issues. They get it...for one sentence.
Grey and Gray Morality: We're never told whether the Barnacle was good or evil, nor are we told the allegiance of Everybody. This means that depending on how you look at it, it could be a great victory, a great tragedy, or neither that Everybody died.
Informed Deformity: We're told that the protagonist is ugly, and we're told of the ramifications of his ugliness, but it is never made clear exactly what features he has that make him so ugly.
Fridge Brilliance: It's possible that if we were told, we would die.
Invincible Hero: It's difficult to do anything with a "hero" who can and did go up against anyone and kill them.
Invincible Villain: If the barnacle was in fact a Villain Protagonist, then any hero would not be able to stand against it, for he would just kill them along with everybody else.
Kill 'em All: The ugly barnacle was so ugly that everyone died.
The Juggernaut: Nobody was capable of stopping the barnacle, thus, everyone died.
Killer Rabbit: The barnacle. Were you really expecting it to kill everyone in the story's second sentence?
Mind Screw: After the ending, we're left with a great big pile of unanswered questions. Just how did the Barnacle's ugliness kill everyone? Did the Barnacle himself die? Literally nothing is ever explained.
Once Upon a Time: Averted. The closest the story comes to using the phrase is "Once there was an ugly barnacle."
The Scapegoat: The story does not actually say that the barnacle, or its ugliness, was responsible for everyone dying, so this is another interpretation.
Seldom Seen Species: Name one other story with a barnacle as a protagonist. Ironically one of the main reason barnacles rarely appear (their ugliness) is a central part of this story.
Starfish Aliens: Perhaps the reason why the barnacle was so ugly was that it was from a different planet? Everyone can be quick to assume that anything not like them is ugly. Also the storyteller is a starfish.
Sword of Damocles: The threat of the barnacle is enough to stop anyone from doing anything. Ever.
Thirteen Is Unlucky: The actual story, discounting the "The End" tag, is exactly thirteen words long, and you can't get much unluckier than having everyone die.
Trailers Always Lie: It was set up in a way to make it seem as if it is an uplifting tale about someone overcoming the stigma of being ugly. Instead, we get a Kill Them AllDowner Ending.
Troperiffic: The story is only 13 words long (15 if you count The End), but it has 104 tropes, plus another 25 under YMMV and 27 character tropes, averaging out to 12.00 (or 10.40) tropes per word.
Truth in Television: In Real Life, Barnacles arequite ugly◊. Not enough to kill everyone, but their repulsive anatomy note They have prehensile penises and lack of any identifiable features, including eyes or even a face, were obviously a fitting inspiration for something as exceedingly hideous as The Ugly Barnacle.
Twist Ending: Be honest: Were you expecting the barnacle to kill everyone?
Ultimate Life Form: Arguably, the barnacle, as it was able to kill everyone.
Unreliable Narrator: The story was initially told by PatrickStar. Of course he would get some details wrong. And it didn't even help the person he was telling it to!
Wham Line: One near the very end that completely changes the direction the story was heading.
He was so ugly that everyone died.
What Measure Is a Non-Cute?: Surprisingly averted. Not only is the barnacle portrayed sympathetically, but the story even implies that it's possible for barnacles to be cute.