The Painted Canoe is a novel by Jamaican writer Anthony Winkler, which was published in 1984.Zachariah Pelsie is an extremely ugly fisherman who lives in the community of Charity Bay. One day, while out fishing as usual, he dozes off...and when he wakes up, he finds himself far away from shore. He must now make his way back to land in his canoe, battling the elements, hunger and thirst, a man-eating hammerhead shark, and his own troubled memories.Meanwhile, back on land, his family and neighbors have varying reactions to his disappearance. As he travels on the sea, Zachariah reflects on his relationships with each of them, and on how he will relate to them when he finally returns.The Painted Canoe was Winkler's first novel, and is stated to be his favorite.
This gem from Zachariah, directed at the pastor after the first instance of Zachariah walking out of a sermon because he disliked its content:
Pastor: How you leave the church so sudden? De gripe take your belly?
Zachariah: Wrongful doctrine sick me.
There's also Dr. Richards' assistant, largely due to the doctor being as eccentric as he is. For instance, when he decides to eat a chicken that was left on his clinic door as a curse from the local obeah man:
Dr. Richards: Who can eat chicken without seasoning?
Double Standard: Rape, Female on Male: As revealed in one of Zachariah's flashbacks, Carina took Zachariah by surprise with rather rough seduction, the first week he came under her roof. Zachariah's recollection of the incident doesn't say he consented, but neither does Carina ever get called out for basically forcing herself on him.
Embarrassing First Name: The constable admits having one to the doctor during their mutual Christmas celebration, and in fact he says it's not a name he is proud of. It's Marion.
Everything's Even Worse with Sharks: The hammerhead shark that tails Zachariah in his canoe. Also, Zachariah recalls that in the past, one shark attacked a sea-stranded friend, Seahorse, and took off his leg, and another shark devoured another friend, Seddie, and left his wife a widow and his child fatherless.
Go Mad from the Revelation: Well, go more mad in Seahorse's case, as Zachariah remembers it. Already having gotten Sanity Slippage from being isolated at sea for so long, when Seahorse finally got back to land he found out that his girlfriend was having an affair with a younger man. Seahorse...didn't take it well.
Groin Attack: Carina threatens to cut off the Parson’s “business” if he comes back to her house and says one more bad thing to Zachariah. Also, Zachariah recalls that she subjected him to a savage wringing during one of their lovemaking sessions, when he tried to get on top - something she could not abide because of Rape as Backstory.
Happily Married: Zachariah and Carina are an interesting variation, given that they're not legally married.
Incurable Cough of Death: Zachariah starts developing this shortly after his return from the sea. It's the first sign that his cancer, which he had prior to getting lost at sea, is getting far advanced.
Infant Immortality: Sadly averted with Zachariah and Carina's first child, a daughter, who was felled by illness a very short while after her birth.
Jerk Ass: The Pastor. Zachariah hates him because of it.
Kick the Dog: Mrs. Lewis frequently beats up her husband, often with absolutely no provocation from him.
The Dog Bites Back: During the party to celebrate Zachariah's safe return from the sea, Mr. Lewis—emboldened by drunkenness—grabs Mrs. Lewis and gives her a sound thrashing.
Papa Wolf: When George is brutally strapped by his principal for refusing to take part in a ring-game, Zachariah threatens to chop the man with a machete. When next he sees the principal, though, he chides himself for not have his machete with him.
Parental Favoritism: Carina loves her younger son Wilfred, but treats her older son George with disdain. Zachariah plans that once he gets back to land, he’ll tell her that one of the things he learned at sea is that a mother must love her children equally.
Prayer Is a Last Resort: Zachariah believes very strongly in this. Specifically, he feels that mankind calls on God too often for minor things that could be easily rectified by human effort, and that therefore God has grown tired of listening to men calling on Him so often and won't lift a finger when the trouble is genuinely severe. Zachariah therefore decides that the next time he calls on God for anything, he'll have to be at death's door. The penultimate chapter results in him doing just that because of his cancer.
Really Gets Around: The new doctor who comes to replace Dr. Richardson following the latter's suicide quickly develops a reputation in the village for being, as the narrative describes him, "as lecherous as a goat."
Sanity Slippage: Seahorse, one of Zachariah's dead friends, had also been lost at sea for an extended period of time, and gradually went mad from the perpetual isolation (it didn't help that a shark took off his leg). Zachariah comes dangerously close to losing his mind during his own isolation at sea, but manages to fight it off by remembering his dead daughter.