--->''"Up betimes and to the office..."''

Samuel Pepys (pronounced 'peeps') was a 17th Century English civil servant who is famous for keeping a remarkably frank daily {{diary}} between 1 January 1660 and 31 May 1669. (This was perhaps not as dangerous as it sounds, as the diary was written in a form of short hand most people could not read, later mistaken for a deliberate code.) The diary is an exhaustive record of everything he thought noteworthy, from important historical events like the Great Fire of London, to the plays he watched, meals he ate, and other people's wives he slept with.

Pepys' diary for this day in history, preserved as a {{blog}}, is available [[http://www.pepysdiary.com here.]]
!! Tropes related to Pepys and his diary:

* BadassBureaucrat: Pepys was responsible for making the [[UsefulNotes/BritsWithBattleships Royal Navy]] the TropeCodifier of [[BadassArmy Badass Navies]] by his skill in administration and his ruthless demand for meritocracy. According to [[SpaceNavy some accounts]] his influence will be felt [[RecycledInSpace thousands of years from now]].
* BelligerentSexualTension: Pepys's wife Elizabeth is, understandably, outraged when she catches him groping their maid, and the diary records many epic fights -- but Pepys also notes that they have pretty awesome makeup sex.
* BrutalHonesty: Of of the diary's most salient features is Pepys' honesty about everything, from cheating on his wife to accepting kickbacks from contractors.
* CatchPhrase:
** Pepys has a hyperbolic habit of marking especially outstanding things and events with {{snowclones}} in the general form of "the most (adjective) (noun) that ever I (saw, heard, encountered, etc.) in my life". See ItWillNeverCatchOn, below.
** See also the very top and bottom of this page.
* GallowsHumor: "I went out to Charing Cross, to see Major-general Harrison hanged, drawn and quartered; which was done there, he looking as cheerful as any man could do in that condition."
* HaveAGayOldTime: In a February 1664 entry, Pepys writes: "our little girl Susan is a most admirable Slut and pleases us mightily, doing more service than both the others and deserves wages better." The word "slut" in those days meant (among other things) "kitchen maid" and while Pepys did have affairs with maids, here he only meant that Susan is a good maid.
* HidingBehindTheLanguageBarrier: Pepys conceals many of his more indiscreet entries behind a deliberate word salad of Latin, French, and Spanish.
* ILoveTheDead: Pepys recounts how he kissed the mummified [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catherine_of_Valois Catherine of Valois]] on his thirty-sixth birthday for good luck.
* ItWillNeverCatchOn:
** It can be seen that [[Creator/WilliamShakespeare Shakespeare's]] reputation wasn't quite as good yet in Pepys's as it is today -- and it probably didn't help that, during Pepys's time, the plays were very rarely presented in their original format, having much extraneous material added on. He called ''Theatre/AMidsummerNightsDream'' "the most insipid ridiculous play that ever I saw in my life", ''Theatre/RomeoAndJuliet'' "a play of itself the worst that I ever heard in my life" and ''Theatre/TwelfthNight'' "one of the weakest plays that I ever saw on the stage"; he did not like ''Henry IV Part 1'' either, although he chalked most of that up to having brought the book in order to follow along.
** He liked ''Theatre/{{Othello}}'', ''Theatre/{{Hamlet}}'', and ''Theatre/{{Macbeth}}'', however. (Particularly ''Macbeth'', which he records seeing eight times within a space of four years.)
* KavorkaMan: Pepys himself. Despite his regular dalliances with tavern wenches and frequent groping of his wife's maids, he even made one of his subordinates pimp out his wife to him in return for a promotion. Ironically, he also suspected his wife of cheating on him as well, and was horrified on hearing a rumour that his recently deceased brother might have fathered an illegitimate child on his housemaid.
* NotSoDifferent: "I went, and Mr. Mansell and one of the King's footmen, with a dog that the [[UsefulNotes/CharlesII King]] loved, which shit in the boat, which made us laugh and me think that a King and all that belong to him are but just as others are."
* PottyFailure:
** September 28, 1665: Pepys was staying at an inn and woke during the night with a bad bout of diarrhea. The maid had forgotten to leave a chamberpot in his room and he couldn't make it down to the privy, so he had to use the fireplace. Twice.
** October 20, 1660: Pepys discovers that the cistern of his neighbor's outhouse is full when he goes down to his own cellar, steps in "a great heap of turds", and finds it leaking through the wall.
** Elizabeth has at one point some long-standing bowel problem, meaning that at one point she has to 'do her business' in the street while out for a walk. [[TheDungAges It was that kind of era.]]
* YourCheatingHeart: Pepys was unbelievably unfaithful towards his wife Elizabeth, and at the same time suspected her of cheating on him with a dancing instructor.
--->''"And so to bed."''