Simon Ark was the protagonist of a series of short stories by Edward D Hoch
Simon Ark looks to be an ordinary man in his sixties but he claims he is actually over 2000 years old, a Coptic priest who travels the world looking for evil—specifically, Satan. It is said that he is cursed by God, that when Jesus carrying the cross wanted to rest, Ark refused him rest and in turn has never known rest himself, doomed to wander the globe forever. The narrator of the Ark stories, Simon's publisher, believes that the immortality story is just something Simon came up with to make himself sound mysterious, but he does admit that Simon has not visably aged in all the years he has known him. The immortality element is not played up in any way and is just incidental to the stories.
The Simon Ark stories have supernatural themes, although the crimes in them are always found to have been committed by mundane means.
The Simon Ark stories contain examples of:
- Amateur Sleuth: Simon claims to be a Coptic priest. Of course, he also claims to be 2000 years old, and searching for works of the devil. What he finds is usually more mundane.
- Burn the Witch!: Discussed in "The Witch is Dead". When the eponymous witch is found burned to death inside her locked trailer, The Watson wonders if she was burned for being a witch like at Salem. Simon points out that the witches at Salem were hanged (with one pressed to death).
- Hanging Judge: "The Judges of Hades" takes its title from the nickname given to a trio of small town judges (two of whom end up dead). The DA describes their judgements as being devoid of human mercy.
- High Voltage Death: All of the victims is "The Avenger from Outer Space" are electrocuted.
- Interdisciplinary Sleuth: Simon claims he gains a lot of his investigative talent from his time as Coptic priest.
- Locked Room Mystery: Many of the stories involve some kind of variation on the locked room mystery. The implication is usually that some sort of occult forces are involved. The reality inevitably turns out to be something much more mundane.
- No Name Given: The narrator is never named in the stories.
- Occult Detective: This is what Simon claims to be, or at least claims to be trying to be. It's not really his fault that the mysteries he uncovers aren't really all that occult after all, now, is it?
- Scooby-Doo Hoax: The series was using this as a standard device before the trope namer was born.
- Serial Killings, Specific Target: In "The Avenger from Outer Space", a killer makes a carefully planned series of murders look like the work of a local lunatic.
- Spontaneous Human Combustion: In "The Witch is Dead", Mother Fortune is found burned to death inside her locked trailer with nothing else touched. Spontaneous human combustion is suspected, but it is actually murder.
- Wandering Jew: Simon claims to be over 2000 years old and says that he was cursed by God for refusing to allow Jesus to rest while he was carrying the Cross. Whether this is true, a delusion, or an elaborate deception on Simon's part is left as an exercise for the reader. Another story suggests Ark was instead the author of a fraudulent gospel so pious that God was unable to punish him with hell or reward him with heaven, and so left him on the Earth instead.
- The Watson: Simon's publisher, who is also the narrator, fills this role.