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Mediochre Q Seth Series
Mediochre Q Seth Series
, otherwise '
' or just 'The
' - although that last
– is an in-progress five-part
series by Calum P Cameron. He started writing it while in high school, primarily out of boredom, but also out of a desire to see if he could write a story about a
unique and powerful Doctor-like
individual while having them
remain realistically human and fallible
really likes dragons
Charlotte Johnson is an
Ordinary High School Student
whose parents have forced her to move to Edinburgh, Scotland – with predictably resentful results on her part. So far, so normal. Then, one day, she is almost run over by a lorry.
The driver of this lorry is one
Professor Doctor Laird Sir Mediochre Quirinius Seth, PhD MusD MSc CBE OBE MIMC VC-Bar
– although he prefers just 'Mediochre' or 'Dr Seth' – an eccentric 'dracologist' from the parallel society that has existed for generations hidden from Charlotte’s own world by a government-enforced
. A society very much like her own, but with a few important differences – most obviously: magic.
The world turns out to be a lot more dangerous and interesting than Charlotte had initially assumed, full of giant dragons, emotionless half-vampires, powerful magic-users (or 'mancers', to use
the correct term
) and, of course, Mediochre himself, who's never been the same since
an accident in his past
trapped in a fifteen-year-old body
able to calculate probabilities exactly at the drop of a hat
. And those are the people on
side. Or at least, she's pretty sure they are. It's hard to tell, sometimes...
For more information, visit the series's
When complete, the series will consist of:
The Good, the Bad and the Mediochre ( available now) – in which Charlotte pretty-much forces her way into Mediochre’s ongoing adventure in returning a rare dragon egg to its mother and thwarting the dragon-slaying attempts of an international smuggling ring. But things are never that simple around Mediochre, and it starts to look like there may be a grander conspiracy at work here... Black, White and Shades of Mediochre Caught Mediochre-Handed Sent Into Mediochre-drive Mediochrity
For Christmas 2012, the author also wrote a
short story featuring
which functions as a sort of prequel to the main series. It was initially posted to his
, but eventually uploaded to the website
For those wondering, the name 'Mediochre' is an intentional pun on '
' – although in-universe, Mediochre insists it’s a shade of red between
pale ochre and dark ochre
The author is
literally One of Us
, so expect
a lot of tropes
This series provides examples of:
Series as a Whole
The Good, the Bad and the Mediochre
Absent-Minded Professor: Dean Kiwi Mashuga. Subverted Added Alliterative Appeal: The Sapphire Smuggling Syndicate. And Your Little Dog Too: The SSS thugs threatening Charlotte. Arch-Enemy: Mediochre and Maelstrom go way back... Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: The list of charges against Mediochre ends on 'disturbing the peace'. Badass Grandpa: Forthan Forth. Badass in a Nice Suit: Antler, until he suffers Clothing Damage. Barbarian Hero: Maelstrom is a deconstruction. BFG: Missile-Bee Launchers. : Sapphire. Big Bad Friend Big Damn Heroes: Joseph vs Isobel; Mediochre vs Maelstrom. Bill... Bill... Junk... Bill...: Charlotte looking into classrooms.
Empty, empty, empty, empty except for a teacher who clearly didn't get enough of her classroom when she was actually teaching or something...
Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Kiwi Mashuga. Blond Guys Are Evil: Antler. The Cavalry: Subverted. The timely arrival of the MIPF at the end wasn't . quite timely enough to help much Clothing Damage: "Dhampinella’s biggest injury seemed to have been to her coat." Antler's suit also gets ruined by the explosion. The Coats Are Off: Dhampinella, before taking on the entire SSS army at once. CPR Clean Pretty Reliable: Averted. Joseph: " I can’t do CPR on someone who doesn't " have a chest! Cutting the Knot: Mediochre once brought down a whole load of criminals in a single blow by punching the fire alarm. Joseph gets into an SSS store room by breaking the lock. Da Chief: The St Merlin's Security Chief. Damsel in Distress: Hélène. Diabolical Mastermind: Sapphire. Domino Revelation: Charlotte struggles to cope with the fact the world won't stop defying what she believes it to be like. Doomed Hometown: Maelstrom's Freudian Excuse. Dragon with an Agenda: Maelstrom and the tempomancer. Dramatic Pause: Mediochre. Mediochre: "I have... a plan." Egg Mcguffin: Glint. Empathic Environment: "Charlotte would have sworn that the temperature in the room had just dropped." Et Tu, Brute?: Mediochre is really displeased when Kiwi turns out to be evil. Everything's Better with Princesses: Hélène. Evil Counterpart: Maelstrom to Mediochre. Evil Inc.: The Sapphire Storage Facility, a front for the Sapphire Smuggling Syndicate. Evil Matriarch: Kiwi puts her own daughter in danger to further her scheme. Evil Teacher: Dean Kiwi Mashuga (OK, technically a Dean is not a teacher). Exact Words: How Isobel beats the lie detector. Exit Villain Stage Left: Danny and the tempomancer. Exposition Of Immortality: Melinda's paintings show that Mediochre is even older than he had previously implied. Eye Scream: Deep Ocean gets a stun dart in the eye. Family Unfriendly Death: Both the dragon in the painting and Maelstrom. Femme Fatale: Beth Diamond is an arguable inversion. Five-Bad Band: Freudian Excuse: Maelstrom's hatred of dragons stems from the destruction of his home village. Friendly Enemy: Mediochre and Queen MAB. Lampshaded via Sam and Ralph reference. Friend or Idol Decision: Given to Mediochre and Joseph by the tempomancer. Get A Hold Of Yourself Man: Combined with Megaton Punch by Joseph to snap Mediochre out of it when he goes psycho. Guns Akimbo: One of the SSS thugs. Heel Face Turn: Oscar and Stephanie. Heroic Sacrifice: Subverted by Danny. I Have Your Wife: We have your many-times-great aunt. I Know You Know I Know: Alluded to a couple of times. Impossibly Tacky Clothes: Kiwi Mashuga, for lulz. Infinity+1 Sword: Maelstrom's Blood Iron sword. Ironic Echo: "You have something of mine", and later, " It ". is all in the wrist! I Take Offense to That Last One: Charlotte is less affronted by Mediochre's leaving than by his inability to use a door like a normal person. It Is Pronounced Tro-PAY: Dhampinella's name is pronounced "Vamp-in-ella". Joseph: "Spelt with a D-H, pronounced with a V. Don't ask me why; her parents were weird." Kansas City Shuffle: How they get both in and out of the Sapphire Storage Facility. Let's Split Up, Gang: Complete with Scooby-Doo reference. Made of Explodium: Fire glands. Mauve Shirt: Oscar, Stephanie and Kurt. Metaphorgotten: Mediochre: "This whole scene could have stepped out of a cheesy fantasy adventure were it not for the fact that scenes are incapable of stepping anywhere due to severe deficiency in the foot department." Milkman Conspiracy: Sapphire is actually Kiwi Mashuga. The Mole: Danny is TOWIR's mole, and Kiwi is the SSS's... sort of. Mook Face Turn: Oscar and Stephanie. Motive Rant: Maelstrom gives one to Charlotte. My Friends... and Zoidberg: In the acknowledgements. My Kung-Fu Is Stronger Than Yours: Mediochre: "When it comes to freaky powers, I do beat you." Name's the Same: "Not that Queen" and "Different Merlin." Never Bring a Knife to a Fist Fight: Sort-of inverted. Danny brings one to a gunfight and, naturally, wins. Never Mess with Granny: Melinda takes out several thugs from her wheelchair. Nobody Touches The Hair: Mediochre. No, Except Yes: Charlotte's "I wasn’t drooling; I was admiring" and Joseph's "It’s not hypocrisy; it's Mediochrisy." Noodle Implements: Prometheus Modern has seemingly done surgery with a kitchen knife, some slightly rusted tweezers, a bottle of Schnapps and a length of wool. Noodle Incident: Several, most notably Mediochre fighting off a horde of Undead with his teeth. Only One Name: Maelstrom. Ordinary High School Student: Charlotte. Out-Gambitted: The SSS and then Maelstrom, both by Mediochre. Out of the Inferno: Justified by Isobel, who’s a pyromancer. Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: " I... liked... that... hair." Red Shirt Army: The MIPF and the SSS. Refuge in Audacity: Sapphire uses it to hide herself and her syndicate. The Reveal: Mediochre's 'accident'; Sapphire's identity. Right-Hand Attack Dog: Beowulf. Self Stitching: Joseph doesn't actually stitch himself, but he does cut a bullet out of his own hand and bind it up. Shaped Like Itself: "Unexpected unexpectedness." She Is Not My Girlfriend: An SSS thug describes Charlotte as Mediochre's girlfriend when they've only just met. Mediochre gets sarcastic at him. Sherlock Scan: Mediochre does it at the dragon's cave. Smug Snake: Antler. So You Want To Live Forever: Maelstrom. The Starscream: The tempomancer, sort of. Stealth Pun: . Kitty Pride is a real person – the character was named after a living artist : Mediochre suffers from this Stupid Sexy Friend in regards to Charlotte. : Subverted – Mediochre is determined not to let it get that far. Teacher/Student Romance This Means War!: Mediochre has his own equivalent phrase. The End... Or Is It?: The last line in the book:
." Almost certainly Those Two Bad Guys: The Bomb Brothers. Treasure Room: Deep Ocean has several. Unfazed Everyman: Charlotte. Universal Driver's Licence: Double-subverted – Mediochre can't fly the helicopter initially, but he learns pretty quickly. The Unreveal: Rowan almost reveals Mediochre's backstory to Charlotte. Mediochre: "If she does, she's not permitted to tell you." Unwitting Pawn: Maelstrom. To several people. The Vamp: Danny seduces Charlotte as part of TOWIR's plan. Virgin Power: Both unicorns and dragons are apparently drawn to virgins. The Voice: Most of the members of TOWIR. We Can Rule Together: The tempomancer offers Joseph the chance to switch sides. Well, Excuse Me, Princess!: Joseph to Hélène. What the Hell, Hero?: Bizarrely inverted – Joseph reassures Mediochre that what he did was justifiable. Joseph seems to be more loyal to Mediochre than he is to morality. Who Names Their Kid "Dude"?: Charlotte asks Mediochre something similar concerning his own name. With My Hands Tied: Mediochre reputedly once fought off a horde of Undead with his hands full ( apparently of Joseph's unconscious form) and one foot stuck. You Killed My Father: Mentioned as how Dhampinella met Joseph. You Shall Not Pass: Dhampinella against the SSS. Also Danny, but his was part of the tempomancer's scheme.
Born to Raise the Sons of Earth (Short Story)
Abnormal Ammo: Up to Eleven. The Depleted Phlebotinum Shells in Joseph's pistol are said to be abnormal even for him. Ascended Extra: Mad Lex Gunpowder was mentioned exactly once in The Good, the Bad and the Mediochre. Here, he's much more prominent. An Ass Kicking Christmas: Joseph and Mad Lex Gunpowder spend Christmas Eve and the start of Christmas Day fighting Undead. What's not to love? Awesome Aussie: Mad Lex Gunpowder, Joseph's Mentor, turns out to have been Australian. Bash Brothers: Joseph and Lex. Chekhov's Gun: Literally, with Joseph's pistol. Zig-zagged, however, in that it's not the gun that finally kills Stormhold. Also, of the six bullets, only three are useful and one doesn't even get fired. Christmas Episode Eccentric Mentor: Holy crap, LEX. Elite Mooks: Draugar. Jiang-Shi are more rank-and-file. Eye Scream: Bullets don't kill Draugar. But they can blind them... Future Shadowing: Lex advises Joseph to wear more black. When we first meet him in the series, he's wearing black from head to toe. Mad Scientist: Mad Lex Gunpowder. The Magnificent: Stormhold Elect, Dreadlord Servant of the Thousand Voices. Nice Hat: Mad Lex wears a Tyrolean. Prequel: It's set when Joseph is eighteen. He's late 20s in the first book. Pre-Mortem One-Liner: "Ho ho ho, ya third-grade wombat." Saved by the Awesome: It's stated that Mad Lex's genius is the only reason he hasn't been physically incarcerated. Squishy Wizard: Stormhold Elect is a pretty good necromancer, but he goes down immediately when Joseph throws a piece of coal at him. Seldom Seen Species: The fantasy equivalent. How many other stories contain Draugar and Jiang-Shi? Talkative Loon: Stormhold Elect. Teen Genius: Joseph turns out to have been one, which makes sense since he is a Professor by the time of the main series. Also, Mad Lex Gunpowder earned a doctorate at seventeen. Yeah. Titled After The Song: The title is a line from 'Hark, the Herald Angels Sing'. In the song, it refers to Jesus bringing eternal life to human souls. Here, it refers to necromancy. Trigger Happy: Mad Lex Gunpowder, although we knew that already. It implies he struggles to think clearly unless he's shooting at something. Wooden Katanas Are Even Better: Justified here in that it's peachwood, which Jiang-Shi are said to be repulsed by.