Have I Got a Book for You! is a picture book written and illustrated by Melanie Watt focused on the antics of a fast-talking salesman who is trying his hardest to get the reader to purchase the book. The book begins with the salesperson, Mr. Al Foxword, introducing himself and telling readers that he can sell anything, such as an icebox to a penguin or an umbrella to a fish. As the book continues, he tries a series of increasingly desperate tactics to get the reader to purchase Melanie Watts's Have I Got a Book for You! Naturally, the book makes heavy use of a number of commercial tropes, so many that one almost suspects Melanie Watt has read that index.
Contains examples of:
- An Offer You Can't Refuse
- *batteries not included: Al says that multiple copies of the book can be used as a book fort, but there's a disclaimer: "duct tape not included."
- "Before" and "After" Pictures
- But Wait, There's More!: In conjunction with If You Call Before Midnight Tonight
- Cunning Like a Fox: The salesperson is a fox.
- Fortuneteller: Al pretends to be one.
- Funny Animal... and Civilized Animals
- If You Call Before Midnight Tonight
- No Fourth Wall: The salesperson is pitching directly to the reader.
- This Product Will Change Your Life: "Research shows that 100% of my customers noticed a dramatic increase in happiness after buying my book."
- Twist Ending: "You break it, you buy it." The end of the book has an actual page with the bottom right corner ripped off.