Literature / Green Antarctica

"They are the utter opposite of everything we know as civilization, yet are not savage. Rather, they are like a black mirror unto ourselves. As industrious, as clever, as restless and dynamic. They have taken my ship apart like a child's puzzle, meditating over each component, striving to duplicate and better the production. I curse the day that the wandering spirit sent men to sail the seven days. my heart, I feel fear, because now they know that we exist..."
Captain James Cook, July 1774, sometime after castration

A Dark Fic Alternate History from, written by its member D'Valdron. The story concerns a world that is to all appearances like ours, until Captain Cook discovers an enormous, technically sophisticated civilization in Antarctica that has been developing on its own, quite unaware of the rest of humanity. The people there are not friendly. The timeline starts with the colonization of a more livable Antarctica by a small group of swept-away prehistoric humans from Australia, and follows the development of society and technology on the southernmost continent. And a truly bizarre and often horrifying civilization it is...

Can be read here if you're a member of and here if you are not. Its overview on the wiki can be found here. For easier reading, said overview now comes with a handy chapter guide (currently, it is still under construction, but should be finished soon).

This series contains examples of:

  • Affably Evil: The Hali culture. They'll invite you into their homes, politely respect your differences of opinion, and engage you in a discussion about the translated works of Charles Dickens. And then you find out that the Hali's hat is that of the Torture Technician. Even their women and children enjoy it as a recreational activity.

    As an example, Howard Philips relates the story of a Hali man he was talking to about Charles Dickens who, out of nowhere, suddenly revealed that he had sewn an enemy's face onto... somewhere unmentionable.
  • Aliens Never Invented the Wheel: The Tsalal were able to develop gunpowder independently, but didn't have any practical guns until Captain Cook arrived. Instead, they focused on making rockets.
  • The Alcoholic: The Ghault accidentally invented liquor and have developed particular rituals about it.
  • The Alliance: The Southern Pact, an alliance of European and South American countries against the expansive Tsalal in Southern Cone.
  • Alternate History: You wouldn't want to live in this one!
  • Australian Wildlife: A lot of Antarctica's wildlife is descended from Australian animals—and, true to the reputation of Australia, it's all incredibly dangerous.
  • The Bad Guy Wins: This happens repeatedly in Tsalal history. That's how Antarctica gets the way it does.
  • Beneath the Earth: The Tsalal created numerous subterranean settlements called sunken cities. Tcho Tcho is the biggest sunken city, home to more than two million Tsalal, many unique species, and the oldest still-inhabited known human city.
  • Bestiality Is Depraved: Some species of hive monkeys were bred specifically to use the females as concubines for the Tsalal.
  • Black Speech: Most Tsalal languages sound this to people from the outside world.
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: One update of this timeline takes the form of the author roleplaying as a modern Tsalal member of an alternate version of, posting on an "ask me" thread.
  • But Not Too Foreign: Johnny Tsalal. Hunter S. Thompson took comfort in this.
  • Butterfly of Doom: Averted until around the 18th-19th century, when Europeans start venturing closer to Antarctica.
  • Call a Rabbit a "Smeerp": Averted. Antarctica actually has a surprisingly detailed ecology of unique animals. Most of them are based on the prehistoric animals native to Australia and South America, of which they are evolved forms, specialized to the insanely hostile Antarctic climate and ecosystem.
  • Chupacabra: The Chupa/Shupa is a very obvious expy.
  • Church Militant: Several examples of Tsalal religious authorities that form a state within a state.
  • Cold-Blooded Torture: Too many to count, but the Hali culture is the most infamous practitioner of this. And they do it For the Evulz.
  • Crapsack Continent: Antarctica is not a nice place at the best of times— and that's even before factoring in the Tsalal.
  • Crazy Survivalist: The Tsalal are an entire race of them. Having to eke out a living in a Death World is the reason why their way of life turned so horrifying.
  • Dark-Skinned Blond & Dark-Skinned Redhead: Because of their Australoid origins and about 40,000 years of social selection preferring black skin, Tsalal skin tones are as dark as humanly possible. Hair colors show more variety, but those redheads are quite rare.
  • Death World: The native lifeforms of Antarctica are just plain nasty. There are the Gugs, ants that shoot fire, giant platypi that have evolved to be similar to crocodilians, and a kind of small mammal whose bite sends humans into comas. And that's just the tip of the iceberg...
  • Defector from Decadence: To some extent, Chal Lovegrove, the Tsalal interviewed in "Ask Me About Tcho-Tcho!". While he's quick to defend the Tsalal people from the flak it gets from the rest of the modern world, he still considers cannibalism and torture to be abhorrent, and has even joined an Anti-Cannibalism League that persuaded many restaurants to take Human Resources off the menu.
  • Drop Bear: The Southern Koala is this, with some flavoring of Xenomorphs. A dreaded taboo creature even for the Tsalal.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: The Nightmare Children, Child Soldiers who were raised to be complete and utter psychopaths from birth, were viewed as horrific and cruel even by the Tsalal.
  • Everyone Is Bi: More like "Everyone of the Tsalal is bi, if it's a way of degrading your inferiors or their dead bodies (depending on your culture)". Especially if the body's going to be part of the buffet that night.
  • Eviler Than Thou: The other Tsalal consider the Cold Islanders to be this for reasons that an outsider would consider trivial, such as wearing the color white. And being obsessed with creating "Remade Men"
  • Feathered Fiend: Antarctic teratorns (type C) are two-hundred-pound acid-spewing, horn-tufted killer birds with faces sort of like a big cat, a tiger or lion, except with a jagged beak instead of a muzzle.
  • God Is Evil: The central tenet of the Zhu religion: God, or "The Malevolent", as they call him, has singled out the Zhu for torment, and the only way to fight back is to band together and destroy the demons God sends after them— which in practice means everyone else.
  • Horse of a Different Color: The Tsalal use the native animals of Antarctica as beasts of burden and rides, ranging from the sloth-like Shaghui to the multi-trunked Astropotheres and the insectoid Mothbeasts.
  • I'm a Humanitarian: Cannibalism is fairly common among the Tsalal, with the exception of the Yag.
  • In Spite of a Nail: Something happened that Antarctica didn't got completely frozen like in OTL. Yet world history still went on exactly the same until the Tsalal got into the picture, by pure accident.
  • I Love the Dead: The Yag culture.
  • In the Original Klingon: Tsalal claim Charles Dickens as one of them.
  • Kangaroos Represent Australia: The Sicaripods, kangaroo-like marsupials with deadly claws on their feet. They come in different sizes, from small mice-like critters to man-sized beasts.
  • Killer Rabbit: The Kuddly Kritter or Tsalal Koala looks like a big Australian Koala Bear and is one of nastiest species from Green Antarctica.
  • Knight Templar: Most Tsalal religions are very dogmatic.
  • Land of One City: During the 19th century, Argentina is reduced to Greater Buenos Aires.
  • Luke Nounverber: The Tsalal have a mythological hero who's title is "the childraper".
  • Merchant City / Vice City: Buenos Aires becomes a major hub of all kinds of trade between the Tsalal of the Southern Cone and the northern powers.
  • Mysterious Antarctica: Played with, in that the dread factor is increased by greater knowledge about it.
  • More Teeth than the Osmond Family: The Devils, lampshaded in-series.
  • Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: The author described the Flayermen as "sort of like Nazi Pedophile Vampire Ninja, except unfriendly and evil".
  • Oedipus Complex: In times of famine, it's perfectly acceptable in Tsalal culture for a boy to kill and eat his father, and then take his mother and sister as his wives. That is assuming his father doesn't do it first. And of course it be perfectly acceptable in Tsalal culture for a daughter to kill her own mother and take her brother and father as her husbands as well.
  • Orange And Blue Morality: The Tsalal civilization in general, but especially the Hali.
  • People Zoo: Irish in Tsalal Zoos are quite popular.
  • Planet of Hats: A rare one world example. All the major Tsalal cultures have defining traits.
  • Powered by a Forsaken Child: The Tsalal use children as guidance systems for their bigger rockets and space program. And they don't understand why the Northerners are so upset about it.
  • Prison Rape: The Ptahr culture is built on it. Ironically, the same culture also lacks real prison.
  • Rape Is a Special Kind of Evil: Not to the Tsalal, particularly the Ptarh and the Yag.
  • Rule of Scary
  • Schizo Tech: The Tsalal discover things like coal mining, rocketry, and domesticated monkeys way, way ahead of time. Guns, not so much.
  • Schmuck Bait: BY THE WAY, DO NOT READ POST 1515
  • Sealed Evil in a Can: Howard Phillips' Flayerman mask.
  • Shadowland: Antarctica is this to Europe.
  • Secret Police: Probably.
  • Shout-Out / Homage:
  • Slave Race: The Gugs are a a kind of eusocial gorilla-sized monkeys that drag their prey underground, rip their legs off so they can't get away, keep them alive so they can "use" (rape) them, and then eventually eat them. However, the Tsalal have found a way to domesticate them. This involves the Gug master wearing the skin of a Gug king, castrating the young males, and raping and beating them daily to show them who's boss. They are used in both mine labor, and as shock troops. They are also smart enough to use human tools and weapons.
  • Snow Means Death: The Tsalal attitude, and why they fear the color white. Justified by the long, deadly, and very snowy winter, as well as the massive, uninhabitable glaciers in some antarctic regions.
  • Torture Technician: The Hali have raised torture to an art form, and practice it as a hobby. Hali families even participate in this as a family outing, torturing animals or outsiders.
  • Totalitarian Utilitarian: The Cold Islanders subscribe to a particularly extreme version of utilitarianism, where a person only matters so far as what he can contribute to society. Those who are judged to be unable to contribute are enslaved, considered merely tools and resources that those who rule over them can use as they please.
  • These Are Things Man Was Not Meant to Know:
    • Tsalal art can be disturbing. Extremely.
    • For the Tsalal, the glacier at the center of Antarctica is so evil that they refuse to give it a name, and some groups refuse to ever see it, since it is considered to be the source of all suffering and death.