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Lets Play: slowbeef
His icon (taken from The Immortal).

It's weird to think of yourself as "the old guard" in something that's like 3-4 years old, but shit's changed for the better and worse. What will Let's Play be like in 2011? You can read all about it in my upcoming book - "Let's Read" subtitled: "2007 - the Year of the VLP" and sub-subtitled: "This is as meta as it gets." Ghost written by Stephen King and ProtonJon. On the back of the book jacket you will see a picture of me holding up a bunch of controllers while a camera is on me, and the wires are all tangled and I'm sorta shrugging as if to say "I think I'm in over my head here!!!"

In 2007, Something Awful user slowbeef, whose real name is Michael Sawyer, posted a video of him playing The Immortal with commentary over it. Numerous others followed him, thus creating the video Let's Play.note  In 2008, he along with fellow Something Awful user Diabetus created Retsupurae, a YouTube account in which the two make fun of the worst LPs out there, for which he has gained an even bigger following than his Let's Plays, which he still continues to do. Retsupurae also spawned a spinoff called Webcam Ward, in which the same principle is applied to non-gaming YouTube videos.

slowbeef's Lets Plays can be found here, here, and here. See also Diabetus, who guest stars in many of his videos (and vice-versa sometimes).

Games slowbeef has Let's Played:

Note: This page is for tropes pertaining to slowbeef's Let's Plays. Tropes pertaining to Retsupurae and Webcam Ward should go here.

Slowbeef's Lets Plays provide examples of:

  • Action Duo: slowbeef and Diabetus, though sometimes other guests fill in for Diabetus.
  • all lowercase letters: His screen name.
  • Alternative Character Interpretation: He is fond of doing it.
  • And the Adventure Continues: The final episode of his Metroid Prime Let's Play ends with him unwrapping the box to Metroid Prime: Echoes.
  • Angrish: Not as angry as the usual examples, but the beef's first encounter with kinetic orb cannons in Echoes completely destroys his ability to speak coherently; you can tell that the illogical nature of the device has hit a Berserk Button.
    Vicas: Remember how there were those one-meter tunnels that you didn't understand?
    (The tunnels in question are just big enough for Samus' ball form to travel through, a strange design choice considering that Samus seems to be the only living being capable of going through such things.)
    slowbeef: Yeah.
    Vicas: This makes even less sense.
    (Samus enters ball mode and enters the kinetic orb cannon, which fires her to a man-made target against the opposite cliff wall, granting her access to an otherwise-unreachable ledge.)
    slowbeef: What?! Wait a—wait a minute, what? W... what? What—but why—why would... ugh. That's the—that's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard!
    • In the first Prime game, he's rendered incoherent for the better part of a minute when he takes the wrong route to the Omega Pirate boss fight, and traps himself on the far side of a locked door, through a Phazon-covered tunnel.
    • He lapses into infuriated gibberish a couple of times during the Grapple Guardian and Chykka fights.
    Come-just di-ugh-HATE YOU! SO MUCH CHYKKA! HATE THIS GAME!
  • Back from the Brink: Both the Gandrayda and Metroid Hatcher boss fights in Prime 3.
  • Berserk Button: People spoiling video games for him. It comes up most often in the Dark Souls videos.
  • Big "YES!": After finally beating the Dark Aurora Unit.
    • Performs one earlier after discovering he can Instantly kill the Metroid Hatcher with the Nova Beam after spending most of a video killing one before.
    • In Dark Souls, he lets out a big one after finally killing his first Black Knight.
  • Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs: In part 24 of Metroid Prime: Corruption, Zellus says "So, you have how many [energy] tanks? Eight? Nine? Eight? ... Ninety-eight?"
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: In Part 22 of the SD Snatcher LP, he interrupts a description of a game weapon to explain his shock at a guy reading a porn magazine in public right near him as he writes the LP at a bookstore.
  • Brief Accent Imitation: In the Metroid Prime series alone, slowbeef and guests come up with voices for Ridley, Amorbis, the Rezbits, and the Lava Clam. They also say that they're going to come up with a voice for Kraid.
  • Brick Joke: During a dull moment from Metroid Prime: Echoes video, Diabetus notes that he's playing Super Mario Galaxy 2. A few videos later, slowbeef opened a video playing that game.
    slowbeef: You know what? I just realized, this isn't Metroid Prime: Echoes after all. You know how you can tell the difference? THIS IS FUCKING FUN!
  • Catch Phrase: According to slowbeef, Ridley's catchphrase is "It's a livin'!"
    • In Prime 3 it became "Still fallin'." Metroid Fusion turned it into, "Freezin' my balls off here!"
    • Throughout the Prime LPs, nearly every time slowbeef encounters a new enemy, he says some variation of 'What the hell is this?'
    • From the same LPs, Diabetus has a habit of saying "Corruption!" in a funny voice.
    • Slowbeef, in general, will often say "God Almighty" when faced with a particularly trying or annoying obstacle, "Oh, fuck me!" when there's a sudden hazard, and "...so, there's that," when something absurd happens.
    • Slowbeef tends to add "...is the thing" to odd statements. For example:
    (playing Dungeon World) "I've got this big serrated sword, is the thing."
    (watching Shadow Of Destiny) "To make up for Eike's lack of spatial awareness, he needs time travel, is the thing."
    (watching Phantasmagoria) "It's a kevlar spine, is the thing, they had them back then."
  • Censorship by Spelling: As slowbeef battles Warp Hounds in Prime 3:
    Diabetus: See, what you need is the T-R-E-A-T beam.
    slowbeef: The tit beam?
  • Chekhov's Gun: Early on in the Justin Bailey run, slowbeef asks Diabetus if he's played any of the Metroid Prime games, mentioning that he has Echoes but has never even unwrapped the game case. Two years later, he finally unwraps it at the very end of the first Metroid Prime LP.
  • Chekhov's Skill: After he gets the X-ray Visor and Nova Beam in Metroid Prime 3: Corruption, Toffile pipes up to instruct him on how to use them together to one-shot kill certain enemies that have Phazite armor. Later, he encounters a Metroid Hatcher and is totally pissed off since he had so much trouble with the last one... until Toffile directs him to read its scan data again, which mentions its Phazite armor....
  • Cliffhanger: After defeating the Omega Pirate in Metroid Prime, Slowbeef expresses relief at his victory... just before the Omega Pirate falls and crushes Samus, cuing the hanger.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Blister.
  • Companion Cube: Mr. Sunabouzu becomes very attached to "The Dynamo" in Metroid Prime: Echoes, which makes it all the more saddening when slowbeef destroys it in the next video. All for a Power Bomb expansion.
    slowbeef: (Faces camera towards the remnants of the destroyed dynamo) GAZE UPON IT, MR. SUNABOUZU!
    Toffile: Oh, no! You bastard!!
    Vicas: How could you?!
  • Continuity Nod: The Dead to Rights: Retribution Let's Play included several references to the original Dead to Rights LP.
  • Darkest Hour: For slowbeef, it's the depths of Torvus Bog, after the fight with the Grapple Guardian.
  • Deadpan Snarker: As with Retsupurae, Diabetus fills this role in contrast to slowbeef's Hot-Blooded nature. But guest commentator Mr. Sunabouzu outshines him on that aspect, who always sounds deadpan. Even when excited.
  • Depending on the Artist: Guest commentators for Metroid Prime 3: Corruption have personalized Miis made by slowbeef. They are made without reference and almost certainly do not resemble the actual commentators.
  • Despair Event Horizon: slowbeef nearly crosses this in Torvus Bog, culminating in a priceless fight with Chykka. He gets better once he gets to Sanctuary.
    • He crosses the horizon in Lost Izalith in Dark Souls, when after slogging through a deeply unfun level, he's forced to kill his favorite NPC, Solaire.
  • Dies Wide Open: After coming across a dead Federation Trooper in Echoes, slowbeef wonders if Samus has a command for the typical action movie "close their eyes" thing. Vicas pointedly doesn't say anything, because that exact scene occurs one cutscene later.
  • Dissimile: In Prime 3, slowbeef attempts to compare Admiral Dane and Adam before guest Baldurk points out he's not like Adam at all.
    Slowbeef: [He is] basically like the Adam of Corruption, I suppose.
    Baldurk: That bad?
    Vicas: He's less intrusive.
    Slowbeef: Oh, yeah, much less. This is like the second time I've seen him the whole game.
    Baldurk: So he's not really like Adam at all then.
    Slowbeef: (Laughing) Yeah, actually you're right.
  • Emotionless Dude: KevinCow is likely slowbeef's least excitable guest during his Prime trilogy run. Blister's commentary at the time borders on Must Make Him Laugh levels.
  • Ensemble Dark Horse: invoked From Metroid Prime 2: Echoes, Galactic Federation Marine Corps specialist M. Angseth, communications officer, Samus fangirl and late-to-the-party victim. Slowbeef holds her in high regard and continues to reference her many videos later.
    slowbeef: (After failing to convince Diabetus that the Space Jump and the High Jump were distinct from each other) ...Angseth would've understood.
    Diabetus: Fuck Angseth.
    slowbeef: Angseth is the best! YOU SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!
    • From the same LP, slowbeef tends to look at all its enemies with disdain. Except Rezbits. Even going as far as to ask whether they reappear in Corruption. And in the actual Corruption LP, he excitedly hopes aloud whether similar-looking enemies he came across were Rezbits.
  • Epic Fail: While playing Dark Souls, slowbeef fights the Bell Gargoyles several times with an un-upgraded halberd, and manages to nearly kill them several times. He upgrades it, goes back to challenge them again, and promptly gets destroyed by the first one.
  • Establishing Character Moment: When Vicas first made an appearance in a Metroid Prime video, he got slowbeef past a point he had spent about half the previous video being stuck at.
    • In the first Metroid Prime video, slowbeef somehow gets stuck in one of the first rooms in the game.
  • Even the Dog Is Ashamed: A minor Running Gag in the Dead to Rights LP has Shadow being embarrassed by Jack's terrible one-liners.
  • Eureka Moment: Discussed after slowbeef has one soon after getting the Gravity Suit in Metroid Prime:
    slowbeef: Man, this underwater doesn't mess me up anymore. I can get right back to that crashed frigate and... oh, I bet that's where I'm supposed to go now.
    (NGDBSS bursts out laughing)
    Ironicus: These are my favorite moments of the LP.
    slowbeef: These moments of revelation.
    Ironicus: Eureka!
  • Failed a Spot Check: Occasionally in his Metroid Prime LPs, he'll spend most of a video blundering around blindly due to missing something extremely obvious like a grapple point.
  • Fake-Out Opening: The beginning of this video.
  • Foreshadowing: In the Dead to Rights: Retribution LP, after arresting Julian Temple, Slowbeef remarks: "Grant City's under martial law, right? So what are we gonna do? Go to the police station, kill everyone in it, and throw him in an empty jail cell?" No points for guessing what happens in the very next chapter.
  • Felony Misdemeanor: slowbeef's aghast reaction to finding out that General Ironicus is a sociology major.
  • Fun with Acronyms: In the videos with guest NGDBSS, Slowbeef and General Ironicus make several guesses as to what exactly said guest's name stood for.
    • Norfair Gargoyles Do Best, Samus Struggles
    • North Germany Distributes Bad Swastika Stickers
    • Nine Grunting Deadbeats Say So
    • News Gets Damn Better Sometime Soon
    • Naval Gratuity Does Boats Several Services
    • Nifty Grunge Destructive Bands Save Soldiers
    • Necromonicon Goes Deadly Before Sitting Still
    • They also say that Vicas stands for Varia Ice Cannon And Stuff
  • Heroic BSOD: Near the end of SD Snatcher he closes an encounter with a particularly new enemy, after half a minute of silence and grasping for words with
    Slowbeef: Fuck you, Hideo Kojima. That is all that's left. That is all that is god damn left. I went through a god damn mirror maze to fight a robot in a panda suit. That's my life... that's... you... I'm broken, I'm broken. Good night.
  • Heterosexual Life-Partners: With Diabetus, at least, in his LPs. He lives in Jersey, Diabetus lives in Alabama.
  • Hidden Depths: Judging from this video, as well as his work on creating an unofficial translation patch of Policenauts, Slowbeef is quite skilled in the Japanese language, skilled enough even to know the distinctions between accents.
    • He also seems to be quite fond of philosophy. He brings up a small instance of Voltaire in Diabetus' Metroid: Fusion LP. He also countered the frustratingly terrible LPing of one Quadraxis14 by reading "On Liberty" by John Stuart Mill.
  • Hurricane of Puns: While facing Thardus (who's made up of rocks), Diabetus makes several rock/stone-based puns.
    • Stealth Pun: "That wasn't very granite of you... no, lavaish... oh, wait, what was it?" Odds are he deliberately avoided saying "gneiss".
  • Hypercompetent Sidekick: The Metroid Prime videos tend to feature guest commentators who know far more about where slowbeef needs to go than he does. Particularly Vicas. This is lampshaded a few times.
    Slowbeef: How much do I have to give you to just play this game for me?
    • Shadow in Dead to Rights, thanks to being a teleporting One-Hit Kill attack that steals the victim's weapon. slowbeef and Diabetus end up playing him up as even more badass and doing most of the work and thinking for Slate while he just bumbles around and shoots random henchman.
  • Hypocrisy Nod: In 2008, Slowbeef and Diabetus posted a Retsupurae video mocking a Youtube LP of Snatcher, commenting on what a terrible idea it was to LP Snatcher in video form. One year later, the duo made their own video LP of the game, and one of the very first things they comment on is the apparent hypocrisy.
    • The description for the first episode of Metroid Prime when it was rehosted on Slowbeef's YouTube channel was "See how many things we do in this LP that we've made fun of on Retsupurae."
  • Idiot Hero: Slowbeef and co. tend to paint their player characters as this. A glaring example is the Snatcher LP.
    (The main character walks into a church-like building with pews inside that has already been classified in-story as a church)
    Gillian Seed: What's this...?
    CherryDoom: "Looks like a church!"
    Diabetus: "What is this—A CHURCH?!"
  • I Fell For A Month: What happened to Ridley in Corruption.
  • Insult Backfire: During the Metroid Prime LP, slowbeef's playstyle is compared against the speedruns ScurvyKip has watched.
    Diabetus: This run is tool-assisted, all right.
    slowbeef: Oh, and I would like to thank you for assisting me, Diabetus.
  • Invoked Trope:
    • In the Metroid Prime LP series:
      • Best Boss Ever: Thardus, any form of Ridley, Spider Guardian, Caretaker Drone, Dark Samus. invoked
      • Best Level Ever: Sanctuary Fortress. Remarkable in that it's the only level in the entire trilogy to elicit an overtly passionate response from slowbeef, yet hails from his least favorite game in the Prime series. invoked
      • Ensemble Darkhorse: Ridley, Lava Clam, Rezbit, Angseth invoked
      • Goddamned Bats: War Wasps, Chozo Ghosts, Grenchlers, Dark Pirate Commandos. invoked
      • Goddamned Boss: Grapple Guardian, Chykka, Mogenar, Gandrayda. invoked
      • Nightmare Fuel: Samus's eye reflections (especially when they render incorrectly), Bloggs. invoked
      • Scrappy Mechanic: Spider Ball puzzles, key collecting, the Dark World's life draining, the grapple lasso. invoked
      • That One Level: The crashed Space Pirate frigate, Phazon Mines, Torvus Bog. invoked
    • From the Dead to Rights LP:
      • Best Boss Ever: Pinnacle. invoked
      • Breather Episode: According to slowbeef in the last few videos of the Corruption LP, he saw the upcoming Dead to Rights Retribution LP as this for himself, since he had recorded the gameplay some time ago and all that was left was to watch and comment.
      • Good Bad Bugs: A few on the airplane stage. invoked
      • Guilty Pleasure: slowbeef insists throughout the LP that it's actually a good game, even though he keeps having to end it with "...except this part" every time he says it.
      • Memetic Badass: Shadow. invoked
      • Memetic Psychopath: Jack Slate invoked
      • So Bad, It's Good: Their general opinion. invoked
  • It's Pronounced Tro-PAY : Slowbeef always refers to Mario as "Marry-o." Despite BklynBruzer's best-laid plans.
  • Joisey: Slowbeef is from the Garden State and will often alternate between defending or ridiculing his home state.
  • Let's Play: The almighty Trope Maker and Trope Codifier.
  • Like an Old Married Couple: Slowbeef and Diabetus during the Fusion LP.
  • Mentors: Guest commentators Vicas and Toffile act as this for newcomer to the Metroid Prime series Slowbeef during his run through the Prime trilogy. Diabetus dabbles in this during Corruption.
    • Scarboy fills this role for slowbeef's Super Metroid LP.
    • Slowbeef himself serves as a Trickster Mentor for Diabetus during the Fusion LP.
    • In Dark Souls: Red Mercer, as well as the fans, mentor Slowbeef on the tricks of the infamously hard game. Slowbeef's also mentioned that Diabetus is a huge fan of the game, and he can be heard typing to him over Skype now and then (probably about his progress).
  • Mood Whiplash: In Metroid Prime, slowbeef goes from marveling at the scenery in the crashed pirate frigate to raging at the Aqua Pirates abruptly.
  • Mundane Utility: Diabetus envisions Emperor Ing using his portal-tentacles this way. "Oh man, those Pringles are all the way over there..."
  • Never Trust a Trailer: Conversed in the Metroid Prime LP, when guest commentator Khad mentioned seeing one of the infamous Evony ads while watching the stream and how displeased he was when, sadly, there were no tits in the actual game.
  • Nostalgia Filter: Slowbeef admits that this may be one reason he's so fond of Snatcher, toward the end of his video LP of the game.
  • Now You Tell Me: Slowbeef discovered he could freeze Mogenar with missiles right as soon as he was about to die.
    Slowbeef: The things you discover with 9 energy.
  • Offscreen Inertia: Slowbeef and Diabetus use, as a Running Joke, the idea that Ridley is still falling down the hole in which Samus fought him. Over a month later, when Samus fights Ridley again near the end of the game, they immediately conclude that Ridley just stopped falling, and the arena where she fights him just happens to be the end of the very, very long chute that Ridley's been falling down the entire game.
  • Oh Crap: His reaction to finding a scan in Metroid Prime 2: Echoes that said he had to find ten keys to enter the final area (one of which was already found for him, at least).
    slowbeef: Energy, dark Aether, entry is... key - TEN KEYS?!!
    • In the first 10 minutes of Corruption, he finds he can shoot allies. 30 seconds later, he accidentally shoots someone, and he fires several more shots for the hell of it, prompting a turret to pop down from the ceiling.
    AI: WARNING. HOSTILE WEAPONS DETECTED. PLEASE STAND DOWN.
    Slowbeef: Oh, shit! "Please stand down", you got it, I'm sorry! Okay!
  • Out-of-Character Moment: Throughout Metroid Prime, Vicas is usually very calm and deadpan, but when slowbeef finds the Ice Spreader, he gets very excited.
  • Phlebotinum Analogy: How slowbeef explains to Scarboy what Phazon is in Corruption:
    slowbeef: Did you ever see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? The cartoon? Do you remember mutagen? That's Phazon.
  • The Power of Hate: "I'm going to use my hatred for Echoes to kill Chykka on the first try." It works.
  • Railing Kill: After slowbeef "disarms" a thug in Dead to Rights: Retribution.
  • A Rare Sentence: From episode 12 of Metroid Prime- "Hold on, I'm negotiating the lava clams. And they're, uh... I never thought in my life I'd be saying something like that, but... here we are."
  • Roaring Rampage of Revenge: When Slowbeef got the Wave Beam, he made sure to take out all the Pulse Bombus in the shafts that had bugged him.
  • Running Gag: Several.
    • His various Alternative Character Interpretations, especially Ridley.
    • He often mentions editing out things Diabetus and other commentators say and put in comments praising his skill. He never does.
      • He and the guests also often act like the episode just started after he dies, as if he would edit out the failure. He also never does. This extends to Diabetus' LP of Fusion as well.
    • During the Snatcher LP he did with Diabetus, the two liked to shout "SNATCHER" every time it appeared on screen, since the game capitalized every important key word.
    • Always struggling with the pronunciation of guest Mr. Sunabouzu.
    • The Dead to Rights LP provided a couple, most notably when Diabetus comments on one of the prison mini games and shouts "DEAD TO RIGHTS". From then on during the LP the would occasionally say "Dead to Rights" during ridiculous sections of the game.
      • This would extend to the next game, where the two would mutter "Dead to Rights" at the end of every video. Eventually they would say the phrase randomly during segments of completely unrelated videos, both regular LP and Retsupurae.
      • The prison level also gave us "speed level 4", from a speed bag punching minigame. Jack's speed level of 4 and his quest to attain higher speed levels were commented on throughout the LP.
    • slowbeef is quite fond of impersonating Edward G. Robinson's gangster persona for usually no apparent reason, yeah, see?
    • Head explosions were one in most of his LPs to the point when he asked in his old Snatcher screenshot LP why head explosions were always a recurring theme in his LPs, to which a gimmick account posting as Random Hajile replied with:
    Random Hajile: Have you considered the possibility that you're a Scanner? Not my style, either way. I'll stick to Snatchers.
    • During his Let's Play of Revenge of Shinobi for the Hard Games Thread on Something Awful, whenever he came across something particularly lawyer baiting, Slowbeef would claim to have an email from Sega's lawyer claiming that said something is not what it appears to be ripping off, such as the picture of Joe Musashi on the title screen not being Sonny Chiba from Kage No Gundan or the flamethrower guys not being Rambo (even if they had the license, he's bald in later versions), and the Round 4 boss not being either Arnold Schwarzenegger or The Incredible Hulk even if he's a robot and turns green. Played with in two letters which apologizes for a poor representation of the state of Detroit, and another which asks people not to Let's Play Shining Force. Averted when he fights Web-Bat, the boss of Round 6, where said letter claims it IS Spider-Man (Since Sega had the license to make Spidey games at the time.) but the guy he turns into is certainly not Batman (And later revisions changed him to Devilman anyway.) and the dinosaur boss of Round 7 IS Godzilla ("Fuck it, it IS Godzilla.")
  • Sanity Slippage: All throughout Torvus Bog.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: Proteus.
  • Spit Take: Implied by Diabetus in the Dead to Rights LP when Jack disarmed someone.
  • Snub by Omission: At the end of each LP, slowbeef thanks everyone who guested or did something notable in the forum during the LP. Except Diabetus.
    • Subverted at the end of the Metroid Prime: Corruption LP. Slowbeef makes sure to thank him first.
  • So Unfunny It's Funny: The Metroid jokes that guest commentator Blister makes during the Prime LP's.
  • Squee: His reaction to Sanctuary Fortress in Echoes.
    slowbeef: The whole game could have taken place in Sanctuary and I would have said it was the greatest thing in the whole world.
  • Stealth Insult: Occasionally, in his Super Metroid LP, slowbeef will bring up Windows Notepad and type out insults to his fellow commentators which are only visible to the audience while his partners remain blissfully unaware.
  • Strange Minds Think Alike: When slowbeef reaches the elevator to Torvus Bog in Echoes:
    BklynBruzer: Just take the elevator... and then play that Aerosmith song.
    slowbeef and Diabetus in unison: "Dude Looks Like A Lady"?
  • Take That:
    • Diabetus after seeing the night club mini-game in the Dead to Rights LP asked slowbeef this:
      Diabetus: "Is this like Metal Gear Solid 2 when you think Snake is the main character and after the first level it turns out to be a stripper?"
      • Later on in the same LP, Slowbeef refers to the 13th level as the "gooniest", due to its plot involving Jack chasing after a love interest even after she shot another love interest and then stole from him at gunpoint.
    • Metroid Prime 3: Corruption manages to be the subject of its own LP only by barely edging out the mass quantity of harsh criticism of Metroid: Other M. Indeed, the first episode begins with slowbeef mid-rant about the game.
  • Tempting Fate: While in Elysia in Metroid Prime 3: "I was hoping to roll off the edge into another endless pit...". He does.
    • Diabetus seems to have the uncanny ability to make joke predictions that actually end up true. Particularly in both Dead to Rights LPs.
    • Happens several times in the Dark Souls LP, to the point where slowbeef saying that something doesn't seem so bad and then immediately dying is like an unintentional Running Gag.
  • That Came Out Wrong:
    Diabetus: Do you feel like checking out the vast depths of Elysia? That came out really bad.
    • From Echoes:
    slowbeef: There's too much animation and not enough screwing. I know what I said.
  • Translation with an Agenda: After having railed against Yoshio Sakomoto for Other M in earlier videos, slowbeef translated his producer's log in Prime 3 as thus:
    Hello, this is Yoshio Sakomoto! Itís not easy writing stories for Metroid considering my functional illiteracy. Honestly, I donít really like Samus, and I donít want you to like her either. I hate her and feel threatened by her. I will ruin this franchise. Iím just coming out and telling you. Fuck Metroid and fuck you.
  • Vulgar Humor: The second half of the Super Metroid Justin Bailey Let's Play.
    Slowbeef (as Samus): I mean that in a way that makes me want to scratch my nipples with missile tips.
  • Unusual Euphemism: During a visit in Lower Norfair while playing the Super Metroid Justin Bailey Fanservice hack he and Diabetus suddenly start a storm of Metroid double entendres.
  • Vader Breath: Toffile's conspicuous breathing. Diabetus pokes fun at this at one point in Corruption.
  • Why Did It Have To Be Bugs?: Judging by his adventures in Dark Souls' Blighttown, he really doesn't like bugs. He sounds genuinely nauseated when he encounters the Egg-Burdened and discovers they're full of giant maggots.
  • X Meets Y: He and Diabetus spend the aftermath of Dead to Rights: Retribution Chapter 9 imagining possible sequels, going from mundane crossovers to a Bloodier and Gorier version of New Super Mario Bros. 1.
    slowbeef: Well I think what's gonna happen in Dead To Rights: Retribution 2; Jack will be killing all these people but on a horse with gravity wells around.
    Diabetus: And there's a lot of constant quick-time events as well.
    slowbeef: Also, he's saving Bandage Girl
    Diabetus: You have to make difficult moral choices, is Jack Slate a paragon or a renegade? The choice is yours, the player, to drive Jack's story because you are Jack!
  • Your Head Asplode: Every LP he's done has featured either a head actually exploding, getting blown off, or at the very least a head shot. His screenshot LP of the Dating Sim Sprung had a photoshopped explosion with the reason that "every slowbeef LP has a head explosion."
    • Even Dark Souls technically qualifies when Slowbeef momentarily chooses to be infected by an Egg-Burdened, and his head starts to bulge with giant maggots. He seems unusually amused by it.

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alternative title(s): Slowbeef
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