Laconic / Vitriolic Best Buds

Good friends that act like bitter enemies.
After I totally beat you to the unabridged version HERE and receive all the glory for punctuality while you either don't get shit or get labeled as a tardy and slow moving....you wanna go bowling? There's a discount for two people lasting til the end of the month .

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Laconic/VitriolicBestBuds