Just For Fun: TV Tropes Additional Evil Overlord Vows Cellblock I

aka: Additional Evil Overlord List Cellblock E

  1. If possible, I will always retain an option for self-preservation, even if it requires me to temporarily abandon an identity or even forget whoever I might have been for a prolonged duration of time or a noteworthy length of the plot, as long as I know with absolute conviction that I will be both willing and able to regain my former identity and betray my enemies into a scheme in which I have sufficient (preferably absolute) control over them and anything/everything that might be even remotely tied to them.
  2. I will present myself at all times to the audience as a character with whom they can sympathize, should there be any point at which a character even remotely suggests the existence of such an audience.
  3. I will not hesitate to kick my enemies while they are down, at least to the point at which they are absolutely incapable of resisting, fending off, or fighting against me. If any of the aforementioned enemies ever suggest they know anything which may be integral to or threatening towards my rule, I will hear them out only once I'm absolutely, entirely certain they've been sufficiently incapacitated so as to no longer be capable of posing a direct (or even indirect) threat to me.
  4. I will ally myself with the hero whenever convenient. I will also keep in mind that this is an alliance of convenience only.
  5. I will give the hero and his/her allies as many reasons as I can to support me, and try to limit (and/or shift the blame of) whatever reasons said hero may have to resent me.
  6. I will not betray the hero in an alliance made in good faith from which I wouldn't have anything to benefit the betrayal thereof.
  7. Anyone holding an officer's rank within my Legions of Terror will have only been promoted to said rank after an appropriate number of years of competent, loyal service and demonstrating the requisite aptitude for leadership and tactics. No exceptions.
  8. I will create several positions with impressive titles and very little to no responsibility or power. If I ever have to promote someone incompetent, I will promote him to one of these. These also provide nice options for any subordinate I want to neutralize without offending.
  9. I will only deploy my Imperial Walkers in regions where the terrian and other conditions clearly favor them over more traditional wheeled and tracked vehicles. Also, they will be armed with as many weapons as weight limitations and viable hardpoints will allow, rather than just two cannons forward on the "head" which can only swivel a maximum of 60 degrees in any direction.
  10. Since few things in this universe are more infuriating and inconvenient than the do-gooders turning my minions against me through the simplest acts of kindness and/or compassion, I will try to avoid being such a hardass that they would have cause to secretly resent me.
  11. I will not take an innocent person hostage and then subsequently murder them in front of the hero solely for the purpose of illustrating what a rotten bastard I am. Doing so would just give the hero one more reason to blow my brains out right there and then.
  12. Before my Legions of Terror put any revolutionary new personal weapons technology into wide use on the battlefield, I will take into account the probability of the rebellion or my other enemies acquiring the new weapons by taking them off fallen soldiers or prisoners of war. I will then make contingency plans accordingly, rather than allow myself be caught flat-footed when my enemies turn my own technology against me.
  13. All of the kitchen knives and steak knives in my palace's kitchen will be kept in a locked cabinet when not in use. Members of the kitchen staff will be issued keys to said cabinet only if they pass a thorough background screening and their duties logically require them to have access to the knives.
  14. If I am ever tempted to have slowly closing doors the come down from the ceiling, I will make sure that there are many chambers of said doors that close from the outside in, so that the hero will be trapped inside. Also, these doors will suddenly drop the last few inches to discourage the hero from trying anything cute
  15. If the level of technology allows for it, I will store and use C4 plastic explosives whenever I can. If it does not, explosives will be stored in a locked and well reinforced "hot room" when not in use. This room will also have plenty of fire extinguishers on hand for emergencies and a clearly-posted NO SMOKING sign, just so there is officially no excuse for being that brainless.
  16. I will not use any sort of slave as a bodyguard. The same goes for anyone of a people I am keeping in permanent debt.
  17. If the hero has a Snarky Non-Human Sidekick, I will deal with him/her/it with that much more caution since such creatures all too often outshine their human companions both in Genre Savvy and sheer ruthlessness.
  18. I will have my scientists develop a binary compound that can be combined to form a reasonably safe and effective tranquilliser. The precursor compounds of which remain inert, undetectable and stay in the human body for a few weeks, unless the other compound is introduced at the same time, in which case the human in question is knocked out. My mooks will be routinely issued one compound and the local peasantry (and any foreigners I capture as prisoners) the other. Th effects of fraternising between the two groups will therefore be minimized.
  19. Assuming I use them in the first place, any unconventional vehicles I deploy, such as hovercraft and mechanized walkers, will also have treads/wheels for use in case their primary mode of transportation fails.
  20. Should I happen to be an Overlord in a mystical setting, I will never, ever eliminate dragons from the world no matter what they have done to me - there will only end up being a few super-powerful survivors who fight with the hero and gain him huge amounts of PR for having a cool flying death-lizard friend. Instead, I will make dragons a protected species, treat them with courtesy and respect and additionally hire a few as Legions of Terror in keeping with my status as an equal-opportunities employer. In return, I will ask them to ensure that no hero gets his hands on a pet dragon and introduce some of them to my peasants so they are not so amazed should the hero try to use his status as dragon-rider or similar to rally the people.
  21. No matter how small it is, no Rebel Alliance is insignificant enough to ignore. Should any arise, I will bring my full might to bear on them as soon as possible and present them to the people as a bunch of murderous, genocidal anarchists out for money.
  22. I will carefully read and reread any legally (or mystically) binding contract before I even think about signing it, especially the fine print. I will summon my lawyers and have them look it over as well, especially if there's anything in the contract that seems a bit fishy to me. All this goes double if it's a pact with a diabolical spirit or deity.
  23. I will not enter into any macho pissing contests with other Evil Overlords, especially ones that will end up with me revealing my secret back up plans in order to "win." (The Hero can do that.)
  24. All boxes, crates, barrels, etc. that the hero or one of his allies could conceivably hide in will always be kept in specially designated areas and will have labels indicating which area they are to be stored in. If any such container is sighted somewhere other than where it is supposed to be, even if said container is not moving, all exits from that area are to be sealed from the outside, and the container in question is to be inspected by two guards—one to open the container (if less direct methods of inspection are unavailable or insufficient) and a second to report an intruder if the first guard is killed by the intruder the instant he/she opens the container. If the container is found to contain no intruder, it is to be returned to its designated storage location.
  25. If I choose to become a Multiversal Conqueror, I will not seek help from my alternate counterparts. Chances are that either they are incompetent or we'll all be fighting each other for control of the multiverse.
  26. My fortress's infirmary will have well-secured cabinets in which all sedatives, painkillers, and other expensive, abusable drugs will be kept. A thorough, daily inventory of said cabinets will be taken and anyone caught getting high off the infirmary's supply can expect to be severely punished.
  27. Anyone I hire to fight the hero shall be bound by a carefully-worded contract that ensures their continued loyalty for as long as I require their services. Even if they're only in it for the money, I need to be sure my hired guns won't turn on me when the hero inevitably offers them better pay.
  28. Should anyone manage to enter my lair, they will not be confronted by a series of minions while I sit in my inner sanctum doing nothing. They will be instead confronted by me (in addition to my most powerful warriors) the moment they walk through the door.
  29. My most powerful weapon/attack that can be reasonably used within the area of the battle will be my first resort, not my last.
  30. If I am an Emotion Eater, I will not underestimate the power of the emotion in question, especially if my consumption of it has made me strong.
  31. I will not turn the world into something Dalí would paint. When things get that chaotic, it's hard to notice little things like the fact that the heroes have their power back.
  32. Sometimes, I will let hostages go when I promise to. People will actually believe me then.
  33. My Minions of Terror will never carry any amount of cash. Those that require money will be issued checkbooks or credit cards (as technology allows) for official use only. My accounts will be carefully monitored for any sign of credit-card fraud. The Hero doesn't need any more money than he already has.
  34. If the hero has some sort of "hidden power," I will not attempt to provoke him into releasing it so that I can have a good fight. Said hidden power will be far beyond by ability to handle. I will instead use my full power to kill him quickly and be done with it.
  35. If I must have a secret trap door in my throne room, I'll carefully memorize it's exact location and avoid standing on that spot. Also, the opening of said trap door will be triggered by a hidden push button under the arm of my chair, and not a big, obvious lever. Making puns about my enemies "dropping in" will still be optional though.
  36. While potentially costing more money due to replacement, any weapons or other forms of useful equipment carried by my Legion of Doom will be keyed to its user's vital signs. The moment a mook dies, small explosives/strong acid will be set off/released, rendering the equipment useless.
  37. I will not establish a central bank and fiat currency in my nation. Such things may seem to work out fine for a while, but as a student of history I will realize they always lead to a ruined national economy and lots of righteously pissed off subjects who will form or join a rebellion against me.
  38. Any and all prophecies focusing on children of a certain village, town or city or country killing me shall be averted by me first destroying the city, town, village or country with secret assassins yet spare one of the children so that I can secretly pull a Grand Theft Me on said child then stab my comatose body to death(publicly fulfilling the prophecy) and pretend to want revenge against the attackers of the village.
  39. If possible, the guards in my fortress will be equipped with devices that monitor several vitals and transmit them to the security center. If an enterprising hero attempting to sneak in kills or knocks out a guard security will immediately lock down the entire section, possibly adjacent ones as well, and dispatch several squads of Elite Mooks to thoroughly sweep the entire section.
  40. All soldiers in my Legions of Doom, regardless of rank, will be trained to exhibit basic tactical sense, including knowledge of when to retreat, when to call for reinforcements, and when to call for fire support.
  41. If my arch-nemesis has super speed, I will make sure any technological gadgets I have are as un-tamperable as possible. Wires are a BIG no-no. Even then, if said speedster comes within five feet of any device in my possession, I sure as hell am not going to attempt to use it on them. Speedsters are dicks.
  42. My Legions of Terror will unfortunately never be Home by Christmas unless I'm invading fucking Tonga.
  43. If the rebel scum discover I am to oversee a high-profile, top secret project which requires coded access, I will leak a fake code that, if it comes up, signals that my Legions of Terror are to raze the vehicle that transmitted it to the ground, and then destroy the atoms. I will not leak the real access code as part of some harebrained trap.
  44. I will booby trap one of the random, hard-to-reach, health chests scattered through the kingdom with C4. I will place said explosive inside and behind the hero, so that if he sees the first charge, he will then step on the other one in a hasty retreat and die.
    • On second thought. I will hide in the chest in my One-Winged Angel form and blow his head off when he pops open the lid. No hero will ever deny a health chest, so the be-heading should go by without a hitch.
  45. I will hire a team of forty young adults, nerds, geeks, and teens to periodically look over the TV Tropes Evil Overlord List Cellblocks and ask them if they can condense or shorten this list. I am an Evil Overlord and do not have the time, money, nor the patience required to read near eight hundred rules.
    • Additionally, I will send this to my 16 year old son and daughter, have them edit it for 30 bucks, and encourage everyone else who sees the list to edit as well.
      • The Hero might cross paths with your kids and see that list, too.
  46. If not stated before I WILL NOT COMMIT GENOCIDE they tend to backfire.
  47. If I have a beautiful, loyal daughter, I will have her pretend to fall in love with the hero, all while giving me important information.
  48. I will never reveal my secret plans to anyone except my most trusted staff under any circumstances.
  49. If the hero has a qualm for hurting adorable animals, which they most likely do, I'll put kittens in some of your robotic mooks and convince the hero that they'll die if the mooks are broken. Or something like that.
  50. I'll make sure that every one of my mooks has some evident redeeming quality to them if possible, that way I can make the hero more hesitant to harm them, and should Good Is Not Nice be in effect, I'll have a plenty good reason to invoke a HUGE What the Hell, Hero?
  51. If I plan to somehow use Santa Claus, I will be as nice as I can so my biggest Christmas wish can come true (owning a Hyper-Mega-Death Laser, or wishing the Flu on my enemies for a quick conquest mayhaps), trying to ruin the holiday seems counterproductive if this is possible; and in case he doesn't grant this wish I can just steal his sleigh and hold the North Pole for ransom.
  52. I'll make sure there are no lose, sharp, and heavy decorations/cargo/stone fixtures in my lair that can be knocked loose and crush/impale someone.
  53. If I have an alter ego "absolutely no one" knows about, and I'm able to see the end of my supposed BIG evil scheme that I can't just bounce back from, I'll continue working as my persona and keep all the things that will reveal my identity in a separate location, and not in a secret room where I live or at my place of business.
  54. The Parking Garage is for shopping, not for hiding out.
  55. If I banish the heroes to another world, I will make sure no one in the other world can send the heroes back.
  56. If I have a table with death trap chairs, and the hero has no idea Who I am, I will invite him to dinner at that table, and then kill him by shock.
  57. If I am holding an enemy by the neck, and they then flat out tell me that they are a decoy, then I will snap their neck, then turn around to see what went wrong.
  58. The entrance to my base has two sets of portcullises or blast doors. These are never open at the same time. Anyone suspected of infiltrating my hideout is to be let in the first set and then trapped when it closes behind them. If it's the hero, I can use the murder holes or hidden explosives.
  59. To the note of banishing heroes to another world, Make sure you're not only accustomed to that world, but had been sent there before. it worked for Zod, so it would work for me.
  60. Make sure to ensure that my soul enters the Hero if he kills me. Also, make sure he did fire the shot and not some incompetent Mook. Or make a object that can only be destroyed by the Hero using it on themselfs, with a part of my soul inside it. Bouns points if either My God, What Have I Done? or What the Hell, Hero? is used, since it would lead to the Hero becoming me, or a new villian.
    • But be careful and have a backup plan if The Hero dies by any other cause.
  61. Teach Mooks by yourself like a father figure or companion. If the heroes can fight together, we can do it too.
  62. Despite being a hero, Trinity Glassfield DID had a good plan. As such, I will make a device or event where the Hero has to die in order to stop it. Also, make sure that said device or event keeps a friendly race alive as well as The hero's family alive. Also, keep yourself alive and unable to find a loophole. In case The Hero finds out.
  63. My troops will be under orders to be on the lookout for anything that can be used as implements to enchant, enhance, upgrade, or in any way improve on any weapon or item. Common items such as ball-point pens, paper clips, rulers, furniture, etc will be secured as appropriate. Uncommon implements will be collected and turned in to a designated collections center, where they will be cataloged and then relayed using an undisclosed transport method to an undisclosed storage facility an undisclosed number of an undisclosed unit of measurement beneath the ground in an undisclosed location that will remain undisclosed.
    • I will not BAN the practice of enchanting, enhancing, upgrading, or otherwise modifying a weapon or item. This does nothing to stop a MacGyvering Hero, and ensures that his equipment will be superior to that fielded by my own forces. Instead, I will encourage my Mooks to use the uncommon components kept in the aforementioned undisclosed storage facility to enhance their own gear according to their individual preferences.
  64. Make note of these things and avoid Bond Villain Stupidity conditions:
  65. Don't be afraid of being The Hero, because while this is prone to backfiring, a successful recovery will help out in the long run.
  66. When either using a all-powerful weapon or a simple gun, I would use the gun. Likewise, if I had the choice of either taking a Macguffin from the heroes or sicking the moon onto the earth, I will ALWAYS choose the easier.
  67. When challanging yourself and your Mooks, steady up like if it was normal. The Hero, regardless of leveling up nor how many friends, will reach MANY death traps and pitfalls akin to the most hardest stages known to mankind while we can know the ins, outs, cliffs, and roads and can roam easily if not freely.
  68. No matter how much I despise them, I won't EVER Kick the Dog right after I have killed or severely injure one of my nemesis' closest friends during a critical fight that I am winning or have won. I will instead offer a moment of silence and offer some short condolences to the Hero, maybe even throw in a funeral in case my plan does come to fruition. because:
    • Heros have a nasty habit of gaining a violent Heroic Second Wind when mocked after a loved one's death, one that usually involves the death of one or more of my top officers, or myself (depending on the situation).
    • It shows that I'm not a scumbag who preys upon the weak (which is petty), but an Affably Evil ruler who respects his enemies and won't be so bad to live under.
  69. If I am ever able to create an Eldritch Abomination, I'll have a plan or two, depending on what kind of beauty it is:
    • If the thing I create is more of an animal with instincts, it will have a fail-safe put into it. Something along the lines of say overloading it on its own power if it attacks me or those important to me.
    • If it is instead an individual, I will not turn someone already into a guinea pig and very likely take revenge. Rather it will be clone or some artificial being I'll try to raise with love (and precaution). This version will also be allowed to explore under heavy supervision, rather than be crammed in some underground facility. A fail-safe will be kept in a separate location
  70. in direct connection with the above, treat these things with healthy respect, and have many, many alternate fail-safe in place, one cannot be too careful...
  71. Similarly, if I ever get some way to control some other evildoers with some item that causes harm when they disobey, I won't hold it constantly over their heads and I won't be a Jerkass and punish them for every little thing or just For the Evulz.
  72. If I sense that the respected leader of whatever group is working for me is in fact plotting against me, I'll allow him to lead the operations for a bit. No, this isn't out of cowardice of avoiding his uprising, but rather, to let him take the heat for whatever evil plan he's got and fail while I continue to work on my own projects privately.
  73. If I'm some sort of hive mind creature with an artificial skin, a Mummy, or something that has a more "common" material holding my body together, I'll make sure nothing loose is hanging off of me for the heroes to yank and pull me apart.
  74. If I'm somehow made edible, or if I'm turned into an insect, I'll go into hiding effective immediately an become cautious while looking for a cure. Big Eaters, and karmic squashings are usually around every corner when this happens.
    • If I'm already edible, I'll coat myself in something absolutely disgusting or poisonous to ward off potential consumers or get a mech suit. I'll take life over cleanliness and potential uncomfortableness any day.
  75. If I get the chance, I will endure Training from Hell from people who can turn heroes into paste the instant they move. Here's a small list of people to train from:
    • Shao Kahn. Using weapons that autostun people even on block, as well as resist flincing damage
    • Jinpachi Mishima. Using unblockable projectiles mixing with health-draining moves and insane Priority.
    • Parace l'sia. Allow constant healing, trigger various effects, autocombo with the force of 11 flaming trucks to the face and having mere seconds of pausing before doing another, and predicting The hero's attacks milliseconds before the strike.
  76. Take note of the environment. If I unleash a Instant Death Radius One-Hit Kill, I will check for places where The Hero can use and use it to my advantage.
  77. I'll enlist a Bonus Boss into my army if I can. Just imagine the hero getting absolutely stone walled by a random Giant Space Flea from Nowhere partway through their adventure. May have to apply Eldritch Abomination rules to this though.
  78. I'll have nothing but Goddamn Bats in places with chasms, and regular Mooks will be given special equipment to bypass the both of them.
  79. I'll go for the groin of my enemy with my foot whenever possible.
  80. Humongous Mecha will be kept on as a backup for using tanks and AP Cs. If I absolutely must use Humongous Mecha to assault my enemies, I will use a design that cannot be tripped by grapple wires or pushed over by logs and boulders.

Alternative Title(s):

Additional Evil Overlord List Cellblock E