Just For Fun: Pokémon Vietnamese Crystal
Professor Oak: GO TO THE ELF'S WORLD WELCOME! EVERYONE CALL ME ELF MONSTER
Pokémon Vietnamese Crystal
is a bootleg copy of Pokémon Crystal
, famous because of its Translation Train Wreck
which renders it nearly incomprehensible to any English speaker.
The name originates from an ExtraLives
charity marathon run by Monotone Tim
, where a viewer sent in a copy of the game which was bought in Vietnam.
Someone has discovered
a "spiritual cousin
" that goes by the name of Pokémon Chinese Emerald
Self Demonstrating version here
Note: Only tropes pertaining to this particular translation should be listed here. All tropes for the original game can be found on its own page
Provides examples of:
- Accidentally Accurate: Shockingly for this awful translation, it actually gets one thing right. It translates the surviving tower in Ecruteak City as the "Bell Tower" (like the remakes), rather than the somewhat-inaccurate "Tin Tower" in the official translation. Of course, this is said in context of Silver giving one of his famously-hammy rants (including calling the player character a "WEAK WORM"), so the translator clearly got this one right just by sheer luck.
- A Dog Named Dog: Spearow is BIRD and Remoraid is FISH.
- And Now For Something Completely Different: Route 40 and 41 are called <number> TUNNEL rather than R<number>. They're sea routes.
- A God Am I: Your rival implies this in some things he says.
Silver: I AM A MONSTER COACH, THE FIRST MANKIND ALL OVER THE WORLD.
- Ambiguous Gender: Bill, apparently.
Bill's Grandfather: SHE IS MY GRANDSON.
- Angrish: Many NPCs when you defeat them, including a bizarre version by Whitney:
Whitney: YY? ? Y-?!! ??X? ??X?!! ??C???X??!! ?? ??? ??????
- Artistic License – Physics: You should be able to see your back while trying to run from Trainer battle. You can't.
- Awesome McCoolname: Red is referred to as a sorcerer when battled.
- Kurt's name is apparently "Steel Mankind".
- Badass: If you're familiar with Pokemon Gold, Silver and Crystal, you'll remember that the game's final challenge is to fight Trainer Red, the player character from the first generation. If you're able to make it this far in Vietnamese Crystal, you find:
SORCERER'SSHO TO COMPETE
- Badass Boast: Your rival gives several, but most notably the one in Azalea Town:
Silver: I AM VERY DISGUSTED WITH THE TRASHY MAN. IN SPITE OF THE MONSTER, AND THE COACH, ONLY TRASHY, I WILL BEAT DOWN THEM ALL. FOR THIS I MUST STRENGTHEN MYSELF. THE MONSTER IS THE SAME TOO. COLLECT ALL THE TRASHY, RIGHTEOUS FELLOW ALL ARE UNPARDONABLE! YOU DON'T AFFECT ME. THE TRASHY STROLLING IS AN EYESORE!
- An NPC in the Bellsprout Tower has a pretty cool one before battling you:
TRAINED ON THE ROAD OF ULTIMATE
- A Bell Tower Sage says this:
TEST HIM IN THE TOWER AS THE HEASY ELF, THERE COMES THE WATER ARMY.
- Bad Boss: Whenever you switch out Pokémon during a battle, the Pokémon trainer you play as will send the current Pokémon to a pillory rather than return it to its Poké Ball.
- Because God Says So: After you defeat Team Rocket at Radio Tower, the Executive will say that he lost as if it will of "SHAKAJI GOD".
- Battle in the Rain: While the actual games have it with the rain weather, here using NOONLI makes "RAIN ENDLES"
- Bilingual Bonus: The Gentleman who is looking for his granddaughter at S.S. Aqua says she's a lassock. It's a Scottish word for a little girl, which is fitting.
- Bold Inflation: Every word in the game is written in capitals.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: Within the midst of one of his convoluted, hammy rants, Silver mentions how he doesn't like his actor's lines.
- Buffy Speak: This happens every once in a while.
- "WHO IS IT TO THE END? WHY TO MAKE THE THING?"
- "THIS WAS THE THING ABOUT THREE YEARS AGO. THE MISSLE BOMB MADE USE OF MONSTERS TO DO EVILS."
- Team Rocket radio broadcast (!'"?WX???)
?W-?WE! BOYSnote ARE CALM CREATE TISSUE RESULT OF EFFOR ROCKT HERE RELIVED!! SHAKAQI HEAD IS THIRSTY! WHERE IS BOSS ? LISTN RADIO
- Call a Rabbit a "Smeerp" / "Blind Idiot" Translation: Found throughout the entire game. "Pokémon" and "trainer" are translated to "ELF" (because of the Chinese term for Pokémon, 小精靈, translating to "elf") and "COACH", for example.
- Captain Obvious: A lesson in the Violet City Trainer School: "DON'T ATTACK WHILE SLEEPING."
- Cast From Money: Parodied and inverted at the same time, the move Pay Day casts papers (aka coins).
- Combat Sadomasochist: The picnickers apparently. With lines like 'PLEASE ACT AS MY TRAINING" and "WHERE DOES THE PAIN RELEASE".
- Cue Card Pause:
- Damned by Faint Praise: Bugsy does this to himself: "I'M NOT DEFEATED BY EVERYONE"
- From one of the trainers in the fighting gym: "OUR FIGHTERS ARE NOT TERRIBLE!"
- Death Glare: Silver, according to Team Rocket Grunt
THE LAST TASK WHEN THE MONSTER WAS STEALING IT IS CHEATED BY A CHILD WITH LONG AND RED HAIRS HIS SIGHT POISONOUS
- Demonic Possession: The guy who blocks you from progressing to Route 32 until you beat Falkner might be possesed by a ghost, or something like that.
YES!! THE GHOST SPPIRIT COMES!!
- Department of Redundancy Department: TO LET THE MONSTER BECOMES STRONGER, THE COACH MUST BE STRONGER. IF ONLY SO, THE MONSTER MUST BE STRONGER.
- YOU REALLY BECOME STRONGER. YOU REALLY BECOME STRONGER.
- GIRL SAYS: WHAT? DON'T IMITATE OTHERS? BUT IT'S MY INTEREST TO IMITATE OTHERS!
- WITH "HANDY CARD", THE MONSTER GEARING WILL BE HANDY MORE!
- YUANZHUnote DANCE HALL IS CALLED "SONG AND DANCE HALL"note
- LISTEN TO THE RADIO ANYWHERE. LISTEN TO THE RADIO ANYWHERE
- THE BURNT TOWER WAS BURNT OFF BY FIRE
- Does This Remind You of Anything?: Due to quality of the translation, it has quite a few of them.
- Grandfather Elf (Mr. Pokémon) found something spreaded greatly (Egg).
- A NPC on the ground floor of Goldenrod Radio Tower say these things (originally he praised a radio DJ):
Guy: I LIKE THAT GULUMEInote WHO MAKES A LECTURE ABOUT MONSTERS I ONLY HEARD OF HER SOUNDS.
- Whitney's crying got mutated into... this.
Whitney: OH!OH! DRAW IT! PUT IT DOWN IT IS EXCESSIVELY TOO!!
- Double Entendre: Happens quite a bit.
?IT WILL DISCHARGE WHEN IS STIMULATED.
- In one of Silver's rants:
- Don't Look at Me!: A comedic example from Silver: "WHAT DON'T STARE ME ALWAYS"
- Drugs Are Good: "Drugs" (aka Potions) heal a Pokémon's lost hit points.
- Dub Name Change: All Pokémon have strange names derived from a bad translation from Japanese. Very few make any sense at all. All the settlements, places, and people in the game have also been renamed.
- Edible Theme Naming: Some Pokémon are named after food items, among other things. Sandslash is named Bread, Venonat is called Corn, Raichu is called Rye, Miltank is called Milk, and Flaaffy is called Pea.
- Epic Fail: This pretty much sums up whole game's dialogue.
- CAN'T DO!
- A Trainer at Clair's Gym says "YES, NOT GOOD AT USING DRAGON IS THE SKILL OF THE DRAGON TYPE"
- Even Evil Has Standards: Team Missile Bomb (Rocket) may have taken over the radio tower, but at least they don't serve the devil!
- Even the Guys Want Him: If you choose to make your character male, he will frequently get hit on by other male characters, even your rival.
- Evil Is Hammy: Since the Vietnamese Crystal universe is a World of Ham, just about every opponent you face will be pretty hammy. Special mention goes to Silver, with his endless hatred of the "trashy man" and his habit of chasing you down to battle you only to randomly express his love for you right in the middle of a bizarre "The Reason You Suck" Speech.
- Evil Will Fail: In the words of a man in the Violet Pokemon Centre:
"TEAM MISSILE BOMB MADE USE OF MONSTERS TO DO EVILS, BUT HE WHO IS UNJUST IS DOOMED TO DESTRUCTION."
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin: In a rare case of the translation halfway making sense, Totodile is called "Water Elf Little Crocodile".
- Extreme Omnisexual: The player, for some strange reason, will fuck an item when he/she gets one.
- Extreme Omnivore: According to a person in Cherrygrove, a worm eats poison.
- Fail O'Suckyname: Many of the Pokémon trainers have downright bizarre names with random letter and symbols in them, such as TRIBE'S&"2% , Y'S/U%3 , and GITAR'SXIA.
- In the Pokédex, Scyther is labeled as the "Cock Pokémon".
- Foregone Conclusion: According to someone in Violet City, Team Rocket will always lose.
BUT HE WHO IS UNJUST IS DOOMED TO DESTRUCTION
- For Massive Damage: Every Pokémon's weak point is their key... whatever it is...
- Game-Breaking Bug: Using certain items, moves, or going to the Goldenrod Pokemon Center may crash the game.
- Encountering certain trainers or Pokemon can also crash the game.
- Mahogany Gym is known to freeze often.
- Gameplay and Story Segregation: According to the Radio Tower director, you can control all Pokémon's requests due to some electromagnetic waves.
- Giftedly Bad: The translator. He clearly knows little, if any, English, and his translation is full of errors, has strange dialogue, and makes very little sense to an English speaker... But it's so terrible that it's made countless Westerners keel over laughing.
- Good Bad Translation: All over the place.
- Good Colors, Evil Colors: Team Rocket/Missile Bomb apparently also calls themselves "BLACK-SOCIETY".
- Gratuitous Chinese: Sometimes NPCs will begin their dialogue with "WEI!" "Wei" is an informal Chinese greeting approximately equivalent to "Hi!", "Hello!", or "Hey!" in English. This is likely an artifact from this bootleg game version having gone through translations from Japanese, to Chinese, to Vietnamese, to "English."
- Heads I Win, Tails You Lose: Parodied, by NPC, and overally by the game since every time you defeat a Trainer, it says "<Trainer class>'<Trainer name> WIN".
AL THOUGH THE GAME IS LOST! MY MONSTERnote IS MORE LOVELY THAN OTHERS, SO I DON'T LOSE!
- Homage: A DeviantArt user is making an "illustrated handbook"note of Pokémon from all six generations in the style of the game (drawn in a bootleg-like Stylistic Suck format), complete with names. Along with other people's requested Fakémon (which, sadly, aren't renamed) and fake Mega Evolutions too.
- I Have Many Names:
- The tower near GX City has been called the Madapo Tower, Baiming Tower, BM Tower, and Madasimumi Tower.
- The Mystery Egg, translated as Odd Egg, has been called Magical Egg at one point.
- SquirtBottle, aka POLE, has been also called a Tortoise Pot.
- Kurt is STEEL MANKIND, also know as Gangtie.
- Eusine has been called NAJI, MEINAJI, MEINAIMU and SNAU.
- Morty is SONGJIAO and SLEA.
- Lance is DU, WANGDALU
- Apparently Oujide and Wusiji are the same person.
- I Am a Monster: Your rival says this.
I AM...I AM A MONSTER
- Irony: The female grunt in Rocket HQ says the two passwords are meaningless without the other. While the other password is normal (CAMEL'S TAIL), hers is "YADO AND XIBO".
- The best fishing rod in the game is called "BAD ROD", and the move Dragon Rage is called "PEACE".
- I Shall Taunt You: A rocket grunt says something along these lines.
Goldenrod Gym's Beauty: IF YOU ARE NOT CAREFUL, I WILL NOT BE POLITE TO YOU!
- Insane Troll Logic: According to a female Grunt at the Radio Tower, if her Pokémon isn't lovely, defeating your Pokémon will make it lovely.
- Item Get: "SPEEBAL FIND!" "FRUIT GET!" All aquired objects are announced with something along the lines of this.
- Killer Rabbit: Apparently, Ditto of all things, according to its Pokédex entry.
?WHEN MET, IT WILL ACT MORE VIOLENTLY.
- Large Ham: Silver, especially with all of his vehement, barely comprehensible rants to the player.
- Large Ham Title: Pryce says that he and his monsters are known as "WINTRY POPLAR AND WILLOW."
- Professor Oak says that everyone calls him ELF MONSTER, and Silver brags that he is THE FIRST MANKIND ALL OVER THE WORLD.
- Living a Double Life: Apparently, Oak and Elm are the same person.
- Makes Just as Much Sense in Context: Seeing all of the these bizarre quotes on this page in-game will likely only make the Mind Screw worse.
- Meaningless Meaningful Words: The rare pieces of dialogue that are comprehensible in this game can be downright poetic...but do the quasi-philosophical ones really convey anything? The Purple Prose we see in this game is most likely unintentional, instead having been an accident of garbled attempted translations.
Falkner: THEY [bird Pokémon] WERE FLUTTERING IN THE SKY, MAKING THE SKY MAGNIFICENT. I LET THE WORLDLY PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THEIR GRANDNESS!
Route Toll Attendant: WHO IS IT TO THE END? WHY TO MAKE THE THING?
Olivine City Citizen: THE SEA IS VERY GOOD. THE SETTING SUN IS BEAUTIFUL! THE SEA IS WIDE. VERY...VERY WIDE!
Route 14 NPC: THE COMBITION OF GOLD TURTOISE, MAN SHADOW, AND UNTHINKABLE KIND IS SURELY BALANCED.
Route 3 Trainer: I AM THE SON OF WIND, THE CHILD OF SPIRIT.
Cherrygrove Old Man: YES, NO MATTER, EVERYONE HAS ITS BEGINNING, MAYBE I TEACH YOU.
Farfetch'd Guy's Assistant: HOW TO DO? THE BOSS IS AFRAID!CHOP OFF THE TREE WHICH CAN CHANGE INTO CHAR. GET LOST, ONE IS IN THE DARK AND CLEAR FOREST BE AFRAID OF WALKING
Eusine: ISN'T IT SHUIJUNnote JUST? I SAW A BIT. AS IF I FEEL HE RUNS ON THE SEA. HE IS BEAUTIFUL, STATELY AND CAN PASS THROUGH THE CITY QUICKLY HE IS AMAZING. I WANT TO SEE HIM CLOSELY GOOD I WILL CHALLENGE HIM, LET HIM TO ADMIT ME. NOW START TO FIGHT AT ONCE <player>!
- Mind Screw: The feeling only gets stronger the longer one watches.
- Mystery Meat: Just what is Volcano Bakemeat, anyway!? note
- My Species Is ????: Spinarak.
- Name's the Same: There's a few examples to count:
- In this translation, Blastoise is named "Guiki". About a decade later, Tepig is officially named "Gruikui" in French. Make of that what you will.note
- There are four "groups" of Trainer classes that share the class name (or in the case of second, lack of thereof): Youngsters, Poké Maniacs, Scientists, Boarders; female Pokéfan, Medium, Super Nerds, male Executives and male Cooltrainers; Fishers, female Executive and Eusine; male Rocket Grunts and Gentlemen.
- Mean Look and Miltank are both MILK.
- Jugglers and Qwilfish are both called BOAT.
- Never Say "Die": Averted; Revive and Max Revive state to renew Pokémon from dying with half/max power.
- Whenever a Pokemon becomes poisoned, the game informs you "<Pokémon> KILLED", or "<Pokémon> BE KILLED" if it's bad poison.
- OHKO moves say "HIT TO KILL" when they take down the target.
- Amphy was dying before you gave him the medicine.
- Nightmare Fetishist: Karen is also a little bit too proud of her love for "evil monsters".
- No Fair Cheating: In-Universe.
THE CHEATING WAS DISCOVERED AND THEN EXPELED
- No Indoor Voice: Since everything's in capital letters, all of the NPC's seem to be shouting whatever random, barely comprehensible thing that they're saying.
- Nonindicative Name: Usually, items and moves are named such that they do the opposite of what you'd expect them to. For instance, Water Gun is named "FLAME", Rock Throw is called "VOLT" and Night Shade is named "FLASH".
- Mindbogglingly, certain Pokemon are renamed after foods, despite having no relation to the namesake food at all. Venonat is "CORN" and Sandslash is "BREAD", for example.
- Sandslash's Japanese name is actually "Sandpan", pan being the Japanese word for bread. That being said, the pan in the name is supposed to refer to a pangolin, a type of scaly anteater. One would think it would be easy to tell that there's a difference.
- No Punctuation Period: This happens quite a bit.
- One Steve Limit: Averted with Jigglypuff & Aerodactyl, both named "PUD"; Machamp & Dragonite, both named "GUAIL"; Bellossom & Venusaur, both named "FLOWE"; and Grimer & Muk, both named "BADEB". Worst of all, not only are both the male and female forms of Nidoran referred to as "LIDEL", but Nidorina and Nidorino... are also called "LIDEL".
- Paranoia Fuel: "WHILE WALKING IN JUNGLE MANY WORM WILL FOLLOW YOU"
- Perfectly Cromulent Word: Sometimes words in dialogue slur together into one monster word.note For example, "NOT" + "HARMONIOUS" = "NOTHARMONIOUS".
- The Pigpen: Silver has a particular hatred for THE TRASHY MAN and all who are TRASHY, perhaps meaning that he is actively defying this trope.
- Pluralses: This happens on occasion due to the Translation Train Wreck nature of the game and its many misspellings. The most common mistake is refering to plural Pokemon as ELFS.
- "THE MONKS IS PRACTICING BUDDHISM."
- "THE MISSLE BOMB MADE USE OF MONSTERS TO DO EVILS."
- Pokémon Speak: Averted, the Pokémon do not say their names (translated or otherwise).
- Punctuation Shaker: Some words have apostrophes in the middle in merging the possessive and the following word. For example, en'slap and Jmlite'swla.
- Some of the names of enemy trainers even contain numbers and various symbols. For example, one trainer is named ROCKET'S-%"4.
- Purely Aesthetic Gender: If you choose your player character to be female, people will often still refer to you as male. For example, "LOST TO THE GUY WHO IS PASSWAY," and "FIND THE INBREAKING MAN!" Sometimes even extends to NPC's. For example,"SHE IS MY GRANDSON" is said about Bill.
- Scary Amoral Religion: Apparently Buddhism, because the monks and Pokémon in Sprout Tower that attack you come there to practise the religion.
- Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Often times the dialogue is riddled with large words that are rarely heard in normal spoken English. Some examples include diathesis, cortege, pillory, curator, secre, and tache. Of course, quite a few of these rare words are found completely out of context.
- Shaped Like Itself: To an extent. When a Pokémon is poisoned, it says "<POKÉMOŃ> TO BE POISONING"
- Shoo the Dog: Whenever a battle is started, the opponent is told to GO AWAY.
- Shout-Out: Intentional or not, some lines of dialogue reference the memes, such as Sabrina saying "The Gole-Badges Are All Belong To You".
- Another unintentional one, but at the beginning of the game, it asks you if you are a BOY or a GIR. This game probably would have been made around the time that Invader Zim was popular, too.
- Stalker with a Crush: Some of Silver's awkward lines to the player can be reminiscent of this.
Silver: (when meeting you in the Burnt Tower) "I HEARD YOU WERE SLEEPING THERE."
Silver: (after following you in the Team Rocket HQ) "YES, OUR LOVE MUST BECOME STRENGTH."
- Start X to Stop X: You must pull the power supply out to turn on the computer.
- Stock Punishment: Sometimes when switching out Pokemon, the game will say "(Pokemon) HAVE A PILLORY." A pillory is pretty much the same things as stocks, implying that this might be happening to them. But it's this game, so who knows?
- Super Hero Origin: Farfetch'd's Crazy Awesome Pokedex entry.
?TO PROTECT PENGUIN MACHINE MERGED THE TRAINING MAN.
- Suspiciously Specific Denial: WE WILL NOT DESTROY THE TOWER EVEN IF WE ARE CRAZY
- Talkative Loon: These are quite common in this horribly translated universe.
- Techno Babble: The Illustrated Handbook uses "spiry technique". Which, if interpreted as "a technique in the manner of a spiral", may mean the Illustrated Handbook is just a spiral-bound notebook.
- The Unpronounceable: Many random trainers have names that are a mishmash of random letters, symbols and numbers.
- This Is Unforgivable!: Silver apparently thinks that being a trashy man is "unpardonable" and vows to beat down anyone who he thinks is trashy.
- Two Beings, One Body: According to a guy at top of the Bell Tower, a person from legends who could speak with the Pokemon merged with one.
- Translation Train Wreck
- Somewhat subverted with Morty, where he actually hands out Shadow Ball TM. Double subverted, as the actual attack is still mistranslated.
- Tsundere: Silver. Each of the player's encounters with him involves him berating the player, calling them things like "TRASHY" and "WEAK WORM", all while promising to beat them down. However, he also has a tendency to follow the player around and abruptly declare his love for them during his rants.
Silver: GET ANGRY AS SOON AS THINKING THIS, YES, OUR LOVE MUST BECOME STRENGTH.
Silver: I TAKE A FANCY TO THE STRONG WINNER.
- Tutorial Failure: A man gives you one of these in Jycity/Jieye City.
"YOU ARE NEW COACH? YES, NO MATTER, EVERYONE HAS ITS BEGINNING. MAYBE I TEACH YOU? WELL, I INTRODUCE TO YOU EXACTLY. THERE, THE MONSTER CENTER! IF YOU KEEP INJURED MONSTERS THERE THEY WILL GET BACK AT ONCE, IN THE FUTURE YOU OFTEN GAIN ITS HELP, SO BETTER TO KNOW DISTINCTLY. THIS IS THE 'FRIEND'S STORE.' SORTS OF GOODS TO SELL, FOR EXAMPLE, THE BASIN TO GRASP MONSTERS, ETC. THE FRONT IS WANDAOLU
. EVERYONE'S PRIDING MONSTERS PLAY GAMES THERE. THIS IS THE SEA, THE MONSTER THERE ONLY LIVES IN WATER
. THIS IS MY HOME, THANK YOUR FOR CHATTING WITH ME, THIS FOR YOU." "(player) GET MAP." "YOU CAN SEE THE MAP WITH THE GEARING OF (player). WITH 'HANDY CARD,' THE MONSTER GEARING WILL BE HANDY MORE!
- When your mother tries to explain how to use the phone, she advises you to "INSERT THE PIN OF XIUCI, SELECT THE HOLY FIGURE, OK?"
- Unfortunate Names: Gentleman and male Rocket Grunts' classes got translated as SEEDPLAYE.note
- Unusually Uninteresting Sight: Subverted with Sudowoodo. It's apparently a dancing tree, and it's interesting to someone.
- Violation of Common Sense:
- The take command is translated as KEEP.
- A guy near Violet City expects a Pokémon from Dark Cave to challenge Falkner.
- "DON'T TEACH IT STRONGER STUNT, IT COULDN'T WIN."
- The description for some items says that you will renew a status ailment. For example, an antidote will RENEW POISONING.
- Reflect makes attacking stronger.
- Visible Silence: Averted with one girl in Fuchsia City's Pokémon Center who has nothing in her dialogue box.
- Weather Control Town: Apparently, the wind starts to blow from Ruoye Town (New Bark)
- Weird Science: Falkner's wording may believe you to think inside of the TMs is made of mud. He's referring to the TM he gave, but it may take a while to figure out that.
- What the Hell Are You?: Upon defeating one of the first few Rocket Grunts at the radio tower:
Rocket Grunt: WHAT ARE YOU!?
- Widget Series: Unintentionally, due to the horrible translations everywhere.
- Wise Beyond Their Years: The gym guide seems to imply this about Bugsy.
: HELLO, CHALLENGER. THOUGH ZHAOZHI IS YOUNG, ITS
KNOWLEDGE ABOUT WORM ELF COULDN'T BE FEWER THAN THE YOUTH, NO DIRECTION IS SAD?
- Word Salad Humor: The bizarre nature of the translation causes this sometimes. One Pidgey says "LITTLE STRAWBERRY ME BABY".
- Word Salad Philosophy: Many of the longer pieces of dialogue come across as this, especially if they're supposed to convey key aspects of the plot and/or Pokemon world philosophy.
- World of Ham
- You No Take Candle: Pokemon Vietnamese Crystal breathes this trope.
WHAT DON'T STARE ME ALWAYS!