What if Pokémon Speak automatically qualified you as an actual Pokémon? This is a work in progress, depicting a battle between Ash Ketchum and random non-Pokémon characters that use Pokémon Speak as described on the page, in the style of the Pokémon anime. Feel free to contribute or correct as you like. As 10-year-old Pokémon Trainer Ash Ketchum continued on his journey, he suddenly came across a foe that would prove to be his greatest challenge yet...
Troper: Hey you! You with the red hat!
Ash: Huh? Me?
Troper: Yes you! You're the entire reason the Pokémon anime sucks! You and your dumb Pikachu make me sick! Why can't the anime be cool like the games?
Ash: Uh... okay?
Pikachu: Pika...(Anime battle music starts)
Troper: So, I challenge you to a Pokémon battle to see who's boss! Go, Malkovich! Use Hyper Beam!(Troper throws a Poké Ball and John Malkovich pops out.)
Malkovich: Malkovich!(John Malkovich fires a Hyper Beam from his mouth.)
Ash: Pikachu, use Agility! Dodge John Malkovich's Hyper Beam!
Pikachu: Chu! Pika!(Pikachu dodges Malkovich's Hyper Beam.)
Ash: Now use Volt Tackle! Hit his weak point!
Pikachu: Pikaaaa.... CHUUUUUU!!!(Pikachu turns into an orb of electricity and aims for Malkovich's shiny, bald cranium.)
Troper: Malkovich, don't let that attack get you! Use Mirror Coat!
Malkovich: Malkovich! Malkovich, malkovich malkovich malkovich!(Malkovich's bald cranium turns metallic and silver. As Pikachu hits it, it bounces off.)
Troper: Now use Double Team and Confusion! Give that stupid Pikachu the Mind Screw it deserves!
Malkovich: Malko malkovich!(Malkovich makes copies of himself, too fast for the viewer to see, as Pikachu stares, dazed, being transported inside Malkovich's mind. Pikachu then finds itself sitting at a table in a fancy restaurant, and is revealed to be sitting with a Malkovich with a female body and a red dress...)
"Female" Malkovich: Malkovich... malkovich malkovich.(Another Malkovich in a waiter's outfit appears at the table.)
Waiter Malkovich: Malkovich, malkovich malkovich, malkovich malkovich?
"Female" Malkovich: Malkovich malkovich.(The waiter turns to face Pikachu.)
Waiter Malkovich: Malkovich?(Pikachu reads the menu and all the items are "Malkovich". It stares, shocked and confounded. Then the "female" Malkovich stares at it seductively.)
Waiter Malkovich: Malkovich?(Pikachu, terrified, moves away from the table while still in its chair, and sees that the restaurant is completely occupied with Malkovich clones.) To be continued...