Just For Fun / Backstroke of the West

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/botw16_4867.jpg
The war came!
The republic encountered
Two squares fight the vehemence
The improbity fills the world
The space general of the alliance is skillful
Kidnap the D the speaker the conduct
The proper abruption alliance troops tries
Ratio prosperous drive with the

Star War the Third Gathers: The Backstroke of the West is a Recursive Translation of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, found in China by this blogger.

The name is taken from the translation of the opening crawl (the original saying, obviously, "Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith").

Some sentences are absolutely mangled in the translation (read: most sentences) while some sentences still have their original meanings intact. This particular bootleg has been subject to Memetic Mutation, perhaps the most famous example being "do not want".

There is war in the Gram Republic. Speaker D, the Speaker/Prime Minister of the Senate, has been kidnapped by the Abruption Doctrine. Two Hopeless Situation Warriors (Note: The official sound based translation of Jedi is 絕地, which just happens to translate to "desperate/hopeless place/situation". Thus, Hopeless Situation warriors.) Ratio Tile and Allah Gold, are sent to rescue him from the clutches of Space General, a very deceitful former Hopeless Situation Warrior. Previously, Allah Gold made an unspecified mistake which started the war, and is determined to do whatever it takes to restore peace. However, it is unclear whether he wants the war to continue or not.

The rescue is a success. Allah Gold duels and kills The, a "Big" who is into human sacrifice and harbors an intense hatred for him. Space General, who can always succeed to succeed, manages to escape, and his airship sustains critical damage from the mysterious Good Elephant. Fortunately, our heroes manage to crash-land the airship safely, though Ratio Tile is annoyed that nobody is there to greet them. After his harrowing experience, D expresses concern about whether the war will continue, but Text How Big, a powerful Hopeless Situation Master, rebuffs him, on the grounds that he is against compromising with black people.

As Space General proceeds with his plan to split up the Abruption Doctrine leaders, the Hopeless Situation Parliament grows to distrust D, apparently because he is from the West. When Speaker D appoints Allah Gold to the Parliament as an Elder, the Parliament callously deny him that title in retribution for his record of "long peace." However, they accept his appointment to the Parliament on the condition that he spy on Speaker D . . . so that they can learn more about his sex life in order to discredit him.

This brilliant plan backfires, as Speaker D has become disillusioned with the Parliament's plan to create "less freedom with more wars." Determined to end the conflict at all costs, D seduces Allah Gold into having an affair with him, turns him against the Parliament, and ultimately reveals that, as governor of the city, he has learned to use a dark power, the Black Influence, which can make a person become not just a Big, but both Strong and Big. This is the last straw for Text How Big, who deems Allah Gold "foolish" and decides to kill D outright. Allah Gold must make a fateful decision, which will ultimately pit him against his depraved and foul-mouthed master, Ratio Tile . . .

A fanmade Hong Kong Dub using the same script also exists, with even lulzier results. It can be seen here. Similar Recursive Translations have been made of the other movies in the series, and there are plans of making a fandub of Episode Four: A New Hope. note  The auditions for the main characters are now in, but it's still possible to audition for other characters.

Note: Only tropes about this particular translation should be put here. Anything on the proper translation should go on the proper page.


Send these tropeseses only:

  • Adaptational Heroism:
    • Or at least Adaptational Less Villainy. Revenge of the Sith heavily implies that Palpatine was the apprentice who murdered Darth Plagueis; here, Reach the Man was killed by his land, not by the D. It's also said that the war wasn't started by him, but by Allah Gold, meaning that The D might genuinely be a Well-Intentioned Extremist doing what he feels is necessary to end the conflict. It's still undeniable that he's not a good person: he causes the destruction of the Hopeless Situation Warriors, and he's every bit as ambitious and power-hungry as Palpatine, wanting to be aller strong and big than anyone.
    • Similar to Speaker D above, Space General is also somewhat nicer to his underlings in this version (threats to feed them dog aside). When the Abruption Doctrine leaders question his ability to keep them safe, he begs them to believe him rather than threaten them as he did in the original work, and when it looks like Ratio and Gold will escape capture on his airship, he urges his troops to escape.
  • Added Alliterative Appeal: "The tile time transfers the troops."
  • Aerith and Bob: "Lemon Avenue" sounds kinda out of place on Coruscant.
  • Ambadassador: The Jedi were this in general, but Allah Gold in particular is mentioned as being involved with some sort of peace negotiation - presumably with the Abruption Doctrine - a few times throughout the movie.
  • Ambiguously Evil: The Hopeless Situation Parliament. Apparently, they have taught Allah Gold that the best way to end war is to have "less freedom with more wars", and Gold summarizes "the parliament plan" as doing exactly that. They also punish Gold for his relation to "long peace" by denying him a title, and apparently are using him to spy on Speaker D in order to find out about his sex life.
  • Angrish: Gold's reaction to not being granted a title by the Presbyterian Church is as incomprehensible as the rest of the script.
    "Can be how like this
    Like this too wide of the mark
    Like this inequity
    I can how belong to the
    parliament but is not"
    • Ratio Tile reacting to Allah Gold's killing of younglings:
    "This is what who fuck"
  • Arc Words: "Strong and big", "Good elephant", "On the hoof", and "Fuck". To a lesser extent, "What is the row", "Cut up rough", and "Do not want."
  • Artistic License – Biology:
  • Artistic License – Military: When Speaker D appoints Allah Gold as a private, he phrases it as though it's a public office rather than a military rank.
  • Ascended Meme: By accident. The translation unintentionally references the memetic nature of the "Unlimited power" line.
    • The way Allah Gold delivers one of his lines might be a less accidental example.
    Allah Gold: "I do not want... that just keeps present condition."
  • Ass Shove: One of the pilots says of a droid fighter, "He is in my behind".
  • Awesome Mc Coolname: Allah Gold.
  • Babies Make Everything Better: Allah Gold disagrees, saying he does not need his unborn child's help. He does consider the baby to be a blessing, but probably means that in a sentimental way.
  • Badass Boast: "You are a sacrifice article, that I cut up rough now," is definitely this.
  • Big "NO!": Subverted. It's rendered as "Not" and "Do not want".
  • Blessed with Suck: Depending on the interpretation, the D's power "to have no like" may be regarded as this.
  • "Blind Idiot" Translation:
    • People fluent in both languages who've tried to figure out how the translation ended up as such a trainwreck have speculated that some of the more bizarre lines might have been because the English-to-Chinese translation was filled with these. It appears that the translator may not have had access to a proper transcript of the film, instead translating the dialogue directly based on what he heard.
    • While much of the translation is simply gibberish, the translator seems to have made commendable effort to come up with contextually appropriate dialog even if he couldn't figure out the meaning of the original lines. For example, the Space General's line "Just as Count Dooku predicted" becomes "Kill these two republics bodyguard". Another example is "Pregnancy? Pregnancy.", which may have been the result of the translator not knowing what "premonition" meant; yet the line makes some sense in the context of The Plum Of's previously-revealed pregnancy.
    • This was the likely cause of Senator's casual comment that Blow the Skin "is [his] wife"; the translator most likely misheard the latter part of Bail Organa's original line — "Have the protocol droid's mind wiped" — as "is my wife".
    • Apparently the name "Grievous" was too hard to translate, so they just changed his name to "Space General".
    • Luke Skywalker's name is translated as "See Me". Presumably, the translator thought Padme said "look", not "Luke".
    • The Sand People are referred to as "Pathetic People", which is likely the result of the translator mishearing their original name as "Sad People".
  • Blind Obedience: Commanding Officer, and to an extent the other Republic Troopseses, to D The Superior upon being ordered by the latter to gun down the Hopeless Situation Warriors.
  • Blunt "Yes": Assuming that "Is!" is an affirmative answer in this universe (see Catch-Phrase below), Ratio Tile agrees with Allah Gold that he has indeed underrated Gold's ability.
    • Also, Senator needs some serious lessons in tact: "Look, your loss very miserably heavy."
  • Bodyguard Betrayal:
    • Allah Gold is a bodyguard of the Republic, along with Ratio Tile. He assures It Gets the Rice that he can't rebel against the Republic, but then proceeds to do so, switching his loyalty to the Empire of the First Choice.
    • The Republic Troopseses as well, once the Hopeless Situation's time runs out, are ordered by D The Superior to kill them off.
  • Born in the Saddle: It seems when they're not talking about elephants, the characters really have a thing for horses. More specifically, their hooves.
    "Make him on the hoof very dangerous."
    "As long as he is on the hoof."
    "He returns incredibly on the hoof."
    "I can feel she return on the hoof."
    "Is that baby on the hoof?"
  • Bring It: Anakin's last line to Obi-Wan before their duel is changed from "You will try" to "Come."
  • Brutal Honesty: "The Presbyterian Church like, enjoys you not."
  • Buffy Speak: Apparently, "birthing" is not in Allah Gold's dictionary.
    Allah Gold: You died at the time of livinging the child.
  • Bumbling Sidekick: The Republic Troopseses. One of them has to be reminded mid-battle what side he's on ("We are Republicans, soldier!") while another can't shoot down an airship right in front of him until D gives him exact coordinates to fire at. Despite this, they still manage to wipe out most of the Hopeless Situation Warriors, thanks in part to their apparent Blind Obedience.
  • Captain Obvious:
    • Allah Gold has a moment of this right before crash-landing half of Space General's airship that he, Speaker D, Ratio Tile and R2 are in. (Keep in mind that the ship is not only burning, the fire brigade have already arrived and started putting out the fire.)
    "The temperature of our airship is too high."
    • He also tells The Plum Of that he can see her ship, while standing right in front of it.
    • Ratio Tile at one point claims that, "We have to hurry to act now!"
  • Catchphrase: A minor one, but the Shock Troopseses always responds to The D's orders by saying "Is! Follow instructions."
    • The Republic Troopseses respond to D's orders to kill the Hopeless Situation Warriors by saying, "My host soon be finish."
  • Character Level: Apparently the Hopeless Situation Warriors have something similar to this, as Allah Gold boasts to The that "My force has promoted two times" since their last encounter.
  • Church Militant: The Hopeless Situation Warriors that are in the Presbyterian Church qualify.
  • Cool Airship: There are no spaceships here, just airships. With elephants in them.
    • The D is the only one to avert this, instead calling his personal ship a space craft.
  • The Comically Serious: All the original acting becomes this when paired with absolute Word Salad dialogue. Kudos to the actors in the dub for pulling it off without breaking down in helpless laughter.
  • Cuckold:
  • Cultural Translation:
    • A rare case of translation going the opposite way: Padmé was not only called "The Plum Of" (in China, plums symbolize nobility and virtue) but also "Gets the Rice" (suggesting that Republic economy is based on rice, à la Feudal Japan).
    • The Space General punishing his robotic minions by feeding them dog might also be a case of this.
  • Deadly Euphemism: The Pudding wierdly combines this with an Aversion of Never Say "Die".
    "Then his land killed him to let him going to bed."
  • Deadpan Snarker: A lot of characters' dialogue makes more sense if you consider them to be this. Though it's harder to interpret them like this in the dubbed version, if only because most of the actors give dead serious performances.
  • Deal with the Devil: Possibly what Allah Gold means when he mentions holding tight a devil to end the war.
  • Department of Redundancy Department: A lot, most notably with Darth Vader's alternate name, "Reaching the West of Reaches".
    • "The general space can always succeed to succeed."
    • "But we can will account and then account."
    • "That he must the square who study it the square"
    • The Space General commands his troops "Batter to death them!" twice. In the dub, he says this three times.
    • Allah Gold tells The Plum Of that "Just a dream is just." For added redundancy, she then says it to him later in the same scene.
    • "Like to like to look after them."
  • Disability Superpower: The line "Disabled person must solve" might indicate that Ratio Tile has one of these and that it will give him an advantage against Allah Gold.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: After expressing discomfort due to decapitating The, Allah Gold is comforted by the D, who tells him that the business of vengeance is very familiar.
  • A Dog Named "Dog":
    • Bail Organa was renamed to "Senator". He is a senator.
    • General Grievous is similarly given the generic, but accurate name Space General.
    • Commander Cody, like the first two, gets the more generic title of Commanding Officer.
  • The Drag-Along: Chewbacca's name was literally translated as "Drag Along".
  • Dramatic Pause: Used occasionally in the dub, in an attempt at making the new dialouge match the actors' lip movements. This generally adds to The Comically Serious nature of the dub.
    The D: "He is very deep... to black... influence... understanding."
  • Drugs Are Bad: Used by The Plum Of when she tells Allah Gold he's too high to own an "expectation value"... whatever that is.
  • Dub-Induced Plot Hole: The Internal Reveal of The D being the Mole in Charge has been replaced with an As You Know statement about him being the governor of Coruscant. Thus, it seems like Allah Gold suddenly decides to kill him for no reason whatsoever, unless The D was just Trolling him and Allah Gold simply came to a silent realization of his actual identity.
    • When informing Allah Gold of Space General's location, D says that he is "at particularly the system of..." and the line ends there.
  • The Empire: Speaker D turns the Gram Republic into the Empire of the First Choice after becoming sick and disabled.
  • Epileptic Trees: The translation is so bad that any theory about what the translated dialouge "actually" means basically boils down to this. This mostly explains why the tropes on this page tend to contradict each other.
  • Everyone Is Jesus in Purgatory: Religious symbolism abounds in this movie—perhaps more than the original. Allah Gold, the Presbyterian Church, and references to the "salvation activity", to name a few.
  • Failed a Spot Check: At one point, a pilot has to be given exact coordinates to fire at in order to shoot down a Hopeless Situation Warrior who is flying directly in front of him.
  • Famous Last Words: "Very Good." Said by two of The Space General's robots when they see an approaching elevator, thinking that it'll crush Allah Gold. He manages to avoid it and it ends up crushing them instead.
  • Fantastic Racism: The Hopeless Situation Warriors, and to an extent, the Presbyterian Church, really really despise those from the West. It backfires on them later when Speaker D, who is from the West, decides he's had enough of it, and promptly starts killing them off.
  • Fate Worse Than Death: Allah Gold threatens to "ruin" Ratio Tile, implying that he wants to give his old master one of these.
  • Felony Misdemeanor: According to Speaker D, the Parliament is supporting war by voting.
  • Flowery Elizabethan English: A few words here and there fall under this trope, like "lo", "vexed" and "afresh". But the syntax of the translation is so mangled it often sounds very archaic. Many people have said that the dubbed version plays like a Shakespearean performance.
    • A bit of a Genius Bonus - The translation "a day after the fair", replacing "too late" actually stems from an archaic expression meaning exactly that.
  • Foreshadowing:
    • Allah Gold asks the Ratio Tile "Is you make the ghost?" while on the Space General's airship. While the Ratio denies this, it could be foreshadowing Obi-Wan's eventual becoming into a Force ghost in the canon films. Alternatively, it could be a reference to that ship used by a crew of resistance fighters he would later hunt down as Reaches. It ''did'' include a few Hopeless Situations, after all. Though Ratio was not among them. (This would've truly been an example of this trope if this had been the case. This translation was made years before Rebels.)
    • Space General also makes a reference to Ratio Tile dying to settle an unspecified struggle. This could be a reference to Obi-Wan's death in A New Hope
    • Similarly, Ratio Tile's declaration that he "was old" may be acknowledging that A New Hope takes place much later in Obi-Wan's life
    • When D tells Allah Gold about Reaching The Man Cloth Space, Gold jumps to the conclusion that "In fact he can come back from the brink of death," which is what Gold/Reaches himself does at the end of the film.
  • Fountain of Youth: Ratio Tile possibly discovered something like this, as he talks about him being old in the past tense.
  • Gender Flip: Vanquish Is and Blow the Skin seem to be female in this version, judging by the former's voice and the latter being referred to as Senator's wife.
  • Genius Bruiser: The West seems to be this, since D tells Allah that he must "study the square" in order to understand the The Dark World.
  • Geometric Magic: Speaker D implies that this is how the Dark World works.
  • The Ghost:
  • Glory Seeker: The members of the Presbyterian Church, according to both D and Gold.
    Speaker D: They are just a flock of to fish for fame its person. Even act as rivals with the Senate.
  • Go for the Eye: Ratio the Tile instructs R2 to destroy the last Airship Robot by "beat[ing] it the in-between eye".
  • Go-Karting with Bowser: Bizarrely, the Presbyterian Church seems to have been in email contact with the West up until Text How Big attempts to kill The D, judging by his line "The west ages is already on doing not reply".
    • Also "Ratio Prosperous drive with The."
  • Good Bad Translation: Backstroke may not make much sense, but few would dispute its comedic value.
  • Good Is Bad And Bad Is Good/You're Insane!:
    • This exchange.
    Ratio Tile: "The peaceful is willing to, D the superior is a bad person!"
    Allah Gold: "To me hero's is just bad person!"
    Ratio Tile: "Friend you are crazy!"
    • The Presbyterian Church seems to believe this, as they punish Allah Gold for his track record of "long peace" by denying him a title.
  • Gratuitous German: The Pudding would be aller strong and big than anyone.
  • Gray and Gray Morality: For all their heroism, the Hopeless Situation Warriors perform some rather unsavory actions for the sake of their goals, and the villains are either Well Intentioned Extremists at best, like The D, or have redeeming qualities, like how Space General is a Benevolent Boss.
  • Heel–Face Revolving Door: When confronting The, who is "a big", Ratio Tile surprisingly reveals that he and Allah Gold are "for the big." However, they still proceed to fight him regardless.
  • Henpecked Husband: The Gets the Rice blames Allah Gold personally for the war, telling him it "represented your mistake."
  • Heroic Bastard: Allah Gold and The Gets the Rice's children are this, as Allah Gold mentions early on of thinking of nothing but getting married to The Gets the Rice, indicating that she had gotten pregnant out of wedlock in this version.
  • Heroic Self-Deprecation: While reporting to the D that he had killed the Abruption Doctrine leaders, Allah Gold describes himself as a barbarian despite having just ended the war, while referring to presumably himself in the third person.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: The Hopeless Situation Warriors send Allah Gold to know The D at fuck, hoping that they can undermine him. It backfires stupendously as Allah Gold becomes The D's apprentice and annihilates their entire encampment.
  • Honor Before Reason: When Allah Gold says that Ratio Tile owes him seven times, Ratio reminds him that it's actually nine times (although the preceding events don't count for some reason).
  • Hope Bringer: Could be the reason the Hopeless Situation Warriors got their name; a bunch of lightsaber-wielding space wizards backed by the Presbyterian Church who are called into action when all hope seems lost.
  • Honey Trap: A suprising male version of this trope — the Presbyterian Church sends Allah for the D to "know him at fuck".
  • Horrible Judge of Character: When confronting Space General again, Ratio Tile claims everybody is good. He also has no problem with letting Allah Gold — who thinks that the best way to put an end to war is to have less freedom and start more wars — participate in peace negotiations.
  • Hover Tank: The Republic military apparently possesses an "air tank", which one of the Hopeless Situation Elders is upset to learn won't be sent into battle.
  • Hulk Speak: Ratio Tile expresses how civilised he is.
    Ratio Tile: "Looking me am a civilization person."
  • Human Sacrifice: The seems to have something of a fixation on this, telling Allah Gold and Ratio Tile to "dedicate their bodies," before he fights them, and calling Allah Gold a "sacrifice article," before threatening to dismember him.
  • Hypocritical Humor: A super battle droid calls Reach the Man a "stupid robot" before said robot defeats him and another droid of the same model rather embarrassingly by spraying oil in their faces and lighting them on fire.
  • Ice-Cream Koan: This gem that leaves Allah Gold and most likely the audience utterly baffled:
    Speaker D: Allah Gold, if a person wants to comprehend, then he must the square who study it the square, but a little bit much more than only concerning. If you like to be a leads more astutely, that you must accept this more great power. But want the caution hopeless situation, Allah Gold. You only ask for help me then can become the the knowledge of the dark of the study hopeless, in the fire of water.
    Allah Gold: You say what?
  • I Have Many Names: A few characters.
    • Obi-Wan is alternately called "The Willing to Compares" and "Ratio the Tile." The opening scroll also calls him "Ratio Prosperous".
    • Anakin is usually referred to as Allah Gold, or sometimes simply Gold. After his turn to the Black Influence, he is referred to as The Peaceful Is Willing To by the Hopeless Situation Warriors, or Reaching the West of Reaches by The Speaker D. Several times, The Plum Of calls him simply Line.
  • Immediate Self-Contradiction:
    • Allah Gold creates one when asking to join the Parliament of the Presbyterian Church.
    "Let me enter the Parliament, do not let me."
    • Allah Gold seems very conflicted about his impending fatherhood, since he dismissively tells The Plum Of "I do not need the child's help," then immediately proclaims proudly that "Our baby blesses god'sly."
    • The D remarks that Allah Gold is “affirmative to have doubted.” He also uses the phrase "a little bit much more."
    • But the ultimate example of this might come from The Plum Of's medical examination.
    Medical Droid: "Check result, she complete health but we can't explain why she quick dead."
  • Invasion of the Baby Snatchers: Allah Gold's premonition seemingly depicts The Plum Of tearfully begging for her baby to be returned, which gives the impression that Gold turns to the Dark World just to prevent a child abduction.
  • It's What I Do: When The Speaker D warns Ratio tile and Allah Gold that The is "a big", he reassures the Speaker that he and Allah are "for the big."
  • Lame Comeback: Not that the original insult was all that witty, but Space General's comeback is just bad.
    Allah Gold: "Space General, you and not equal to I think severe."
    Space General: "Smelly boy."
  • Large and in Charge: The villains often talk about their desire to become "strong and big." Clearly, size equals authority and power in this universe.
  • Like Is, Like, a Comma: Many characters talk like this:
    • "Like, reach the man, good good good let us counter-attacking."
    • "Like, this time do not calculate in fact."
    • "The Presbyterian Church like, enjoys you not."
    • "Like, record, you owe me a."
  • A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away...: Subverted, suprisingly enough. The opening lines are translated fairly accurately, but they turn out to be wrong, as the D clearly states that they are in the Milky Way.
  • Love Dodecahedron: Allah Gold's love life is... confusing, to say the least. He loves The Plum Of and she returns his feelings, but The Speaker D convinces him to cheat on her with him. He also seems to believe that she's also cheating, presumably with Ratio Tile. Confusingly, he takes offense to this despite wanting to make out with Ratio himself.
  • Medium Awareness: Allah Gold is apparently aware that he's a character in a movie, as he remembers the scene were he sent The Plum Of her necklace. Either that, or Hayden Christensen just broke character to lampshade that he wasn't actually in that movie.
  • The Men First: Twice Space General offers himself up to distract Ratio (and Gold the first time) so that his underlings won't be forced to fight them. The first time, on his airship, he urges the crew to flee after his bodyguards are dispatched, and the second time comes when he tells his troops to let him handle Ratio alone.
  • Metaphorgotten: It's hard to know what exactly Ratio Tile was attempting to convey with his statement that "The front is a lemon avenue flying straightly." When you're trying to crash land a burning airship, it's not really the time to toss out an Ice-Cream Koan.
  • Mood Whiplash: This can happen in the dub, whenever a serious, silent scene is interrupted by a ridiculous, poorly traslated line. For instance, the dramatic scene where Drop is executed is followed by the line "You make out quite good."
  • Motifs: References to geometry keep popping up. One of the main characters has the first name Ratio, another's nickname is Line, and D talks about studying squares.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: After helping The Speaker D kill Text How Big, Allah Gold experiences a brief pang of conscience:
    Allah Gold: I did what?
  • Nations as People: Space General seems to think the Republic is a living entity, and that Ratio Tile and Allah Gold are its bodyguards. That, or he's being metaphorical and flowery.
  • New Job as the Plot Demands:
    • D is cited as holding at least 6 different positions throughout the movie, being called both the Speaker and Prime Minister of the Senate (and at one point declares himself no more than a member of the Senate, but Text How Big calls his bluff), as well as being the Governor of the city of Coruscant (but only the city), as well as being Emperor of the West (long before he actually becomes Emperor in the real movie) and at the end he forms the Empire of the First Choice. Later on, his troopseses refer to him by the title of "Big King".
    • Allah Gold also does this. He starts out as a Hopeless Situation Warrior. Then Speaker D inducts him into an unspecified military as a private (though he also describes it as a civilian office). This also makes Gold eligible to become an Elder. The Parliament accepts this, but does not grant him the title in retaliation for his "long peace". Then he becomes a South Host as Reaching the West of Reaches.
  • No Good Deed Goes Unpunished: Ratio Tile explains that Allah Gold has been denied a title because the Hopeless Situation Parliament does not like his history of "long peace".
  • No-Nonsense Nemesis: When informed that Ratio Tile and Allah Gold have landed in his airship, Space General immediately orders his troops to kill them, even though his troops merely wanted to hinder them.
  • No Party Given: Averted. Characters identify themselves as Republicans more than once.
  • Non-Indicative Name:
    • The leaders of the Hopeless Situation are called the Presbyterian Church, but don't seem to believe in original sin or predestination, if you go by Ratio Tile's declaration that "everybody is good."
      • They may not even be Christian, given that their faith "is not to believe in a certain person."
    • Also applies to the title of the movie itself. At no point does anyone from the West do any swimming, and the one person who does (Ratio Tile) doesn't do the backstroke.
  • Non Sequitur: Happens constantly, due to the poor translation.
  • Noodle Incident:
    • Apparently, there was some kind of fair the day before the movie began. For some reason, it's very important that it's now the day afterwards. Maybe that's where the good elephant comes from?
    • Whatever Space General did to establish his reputation as "very deceitful" is never elaborated on. Unless it was in reference to the fact he's a fallen Hopeless Situation Warrior: that certainly would count as treachery.
    • When summarizing a combat report that Allah Gold missed, Ratio mentions that he's apparently depraved. He doesn't elaborate and changes the subject quickly.
    • Allah Gold apparently made some unspecified mistake in the past, which The Gets the Rice blames for starting the war.
    • At one point, it's mentioned that, when Allah Gold was a child, Ratio Tile "did" his teacher. This is never brought up again or elaborated on.
  • Number of the Beast: One of Speaker D's lines references it when he orders the destruction of the Hopeless Situation Warriors.
    Speaker D: The dynasty opens fire: 66, 60:00
  • Obligatory Swearing: Particularly bad since the original film had no swearing in the first place. Here however, Ratio the Tile drops the F-bomb more than once.
  • Offscreen Moment of Awesome: It's too bad we never get to see The Good Elephant flying his airship.
  • Older Than They Look: The Space General may be older than he appears, even as a cyborg. He refers to himself as "old man" when telling his troops that he'll fight Ratio Tile alone.
  • Old Windbag: The Hopeless Situation Elders of the Presbyterian Church are this to Allah Gold. Shortly after organizing a strategy for an important battle, Allah Gold's first thought is, "Is really boring."
  • Overly Long Gag: An unintentional example. Having the Jedi be referred to as "Hopeless Situations" is funny at first, but the word "Jedi" is said a lot in this movie, so it really can get grating after a while.
  • Parrot Exposition: After The Plum Of dies in childbirth, this exchange between a medical droid and Ratio Tile:
    Droid: Check result, she complete health but we can't explain why she quick dead.
    Ratio Tile: Does she die quickly?
    Droid: We must proceed the surgical operation right away, talent extrication child.
    Ratio Tile: Child?
  • Planetville: In contrast to the real movies, this is Averted here. Vanquish Is manages to escape The D's notice simply by leaving the country.
  • Pluralses: Not only that, but Pluralseses also make an appearance.
    • Allah Gold talks about how he does not like "politicseses".
    • He later speaks to Vanquish Is about the "dreamses" he's been having.
    • At one point, Text How Big talks about the "troopseses".
    • At the very end of the movie, the droids are referred to as "childses."
    • The unexpected -es suffixing pops up in non-plural words as well. The Pudding commands Allah Gold, "Doing you needses must its matter", and Text How Big feels Allah Gold "cans not handles" the task of spying on the D.
  • The Power of Hate: Though the Sith from the original are known to fuel hatred into strength, D seems to take it a step further here: he declares to the Senate that "My power has always been to have no like!"
  • Power of the Void: Speaker D claims to have a "great void", but it may not be the most reliable source of power, seeing as how he claims in the same scene that it was weak during his fight with Text How Big.
  • Product Placement: Subverted. The original movie did not have any products from outside the Star Wars universe. This movie referred to D as "Big King" ... the name of a sandwich from Burger King, who was promoting the original movie. Subverted as, at the time, the sandwich of that name was discontinued.
  • Raging Stiffie: It sure must be pretty embarrassing for Allah Gold when The Pudding tells him that he's "already at full cock".
  • Red Light District: Space General may be hiding out in one. When Ratio Tile goes to find him, he's given directions by Commanding Officer to "the pimping mainland".
  • Refuge in Audacity: There's no Order 66 in this version. Speaker D just flat-out tells Commanding Officer, as well as the other Republic Troopseses, to kill the Hopeless Situation Warriors.
  • Religion Is Magic: The Force doesn't exist. There's only The Wish Power. Let alone the fact that the Jedi Council is translated as the Presbyterian Church.
  • The Republic: The Gram Republic, which the Speaker D turns into the Empire of the First Choice following him becoming disabled and sick.
  • The Reveal:
    • Space General was once a Hopeless Situation Warrior, and may even have served with Ratio Tile.
    • D being the governor of the city is treated as this.
  • Right Hand vs. Left Hand: Speaker D apparently had to beat the Republic's Intelligence Bureau to the telephone in order to figure out where the Space General was hiding.
  • Robosexual: Senator seems to be this, as evidenced by his sudden declaration that Blow the Skin "is my wife" in the penultimate scene, something that even Blow the Skin seems shocked about.
  • Satan Is Good: Allah Gold wants to hold tight a devil to win the war.
  • Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Turns "I have the high ground" into "The geography that I stands compares you superior." Which also has the opposite meaning of the original line.
  • Serious Business: The D and Ratio Tile both say that Allah Gold's exasperation might lead him to the dark world.
  • Shout-Out:
    • D likens the power of the Black Influence to "many Supermans".
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: Ratio Tile, who apparently loves to use the word "fuck" a lot.
  • Space Jews: The Hopeless Situation Warriors might be this, depending on how you read Ratio Tile's statement that "Our faith believes in our religion, but is not to believe in a certain person."
  • Spell My Name with a "The": Most of the characters at one point or another; Allah Gold and Ratio Tile, for example, are often shortened to "the Gold" and "the Ratio", respectively, while Speaker D is commonly referred to simply as "the D". Possibly the most triumphant example, however, is Count Dooku, who was renamed to simply "The" (although Ratio Tile also addresses him as "Drop" once).
  • Spiritual Sequel: Episo pe II, an equally bad Recursive Translation of Attack of the Clones. It even translates "Anakin" and "Obi-Wan" into "Gold" and "Ratio." It's not clear if its actual subtitles are poorly translated, but the plot synopsis on the back certainly is. This Opening Scroll - read out by Stuart Ashens - demonstrates this nicely.
    Imprbity trade the federal strike
    against the mape of the starthe
    empressten years, day that own the
    not of the commonrunowner line
    peaceful anner the gold grow upped,
    and become a hero juedy warrior, but
    should be student of ao ratio king-
    kano the ratio have aiready promoted
    to be the teacher.

    Two warrior were returned jte aegos amudala
    the rece by call to reach to
    pull the impress at the same time,
    becaust her life suffer the political the
    separtion the numeator the threat,
    nape star is in the federal parliament
    of congressman representative
    scheme parties person assassinate
    amydala reach to pull the impress.

    However be their relation to have the
    clash with power, two choice of right
    human faceses is not lonely figure
    loudly presonal destiny, still
    prospect... that have whole the
    intergalactic republic...
  • Start X to Stop X: Allah Gold suggests that "less freedom with more wars" will make it easier to end war.
  • Strange-Syntax Speaker: Everyone. Besides Pluralses, they also add verb tenses to prepositions ("Toing have the patience."), turn gerunds into present participles ("You died at the time of livinging the child."), and place seemingly random words into past tense ("A line have beened distorted by the Dark World. You the trained boy noed longer is already.").
  • Then Let Me Be Evil: A possible interpretation of Allah Gold's fall to the Dark World, judging from him suffering under No Good Deed Goes Unpunished and Henpecked Husband.
  • This Is Gonna Suck: When trying to fly into The Space General's airship, only to notice the rapidly closing gate, Ratio the Tile says "I feel far from good."
  • Toilet Humour: "The good elephant in airship dropped what things?" It's implied that the elephant's gases caused an explosion which made the entire ship break apart.
  • Too Long; Didn't Dub: This happens very frequently, with only the first part of a line being translated and the rest omitted. For example, a line from the original about the Jedi needing to take control of the Senate is simply translated, "The Hopeless Situation Presbyterian Church." (equivalent to just saying, "The Jedi Council".) Some lines, such as Qui-Gon's name, were removed completely.
  • Translation Train Wreck: Doesn't even begin to cover it. Let's see what some of the names were translated to:
    • Jedi Council -> Presbyterian Church
    • Jedi Knight -> Hopeless Situation Warrior / Hero's Ground
    • The Dark Side -> The Dark World / The Black Influence / The Evil Augury
    • Sith -> West
    • Sith Lord -> South Host / Big
    • Separatists -> Abruption Doctrine
    • Anakin Skywalker -> Allah Gold / The Peaceful Is Willing To / Line
    • Obi-Wan Kenobi -> Ratio Tile / The Willing to Compares
    • Count Dooku -> The / Drop
    • General Grievous -> Space General
    • Chancellor Palpatine -> The Speaker D / The Pudding / Prime Minister
    • Padmé Amidala -> The Gets the Rice / The Plum Of
    • Yoda -> Vanquish Is / Particularly Reach the Master
    • Mace Windu -> Text How Big
    • C-3PO -> Blow the Skin
    • R2-D2 -> R2 / Reach the Man
    • Chewbacca -> Drag Along
    • Bail Organa -> Senator
    • Commander Cody -> Commanding Officer
    • Darth Vader -> Reaching the West of Reaches
    • Luke Skywalker -> See Me
    • The Galactic Empire -> The Empire of the First Choice
    • The Force -> Original Dint / Wish Power
    • Buzz Droid -> Airship Robot
    • Clone Trooper -> Republic Troops / Troopseses
  • Translation: "Yes": Obi-Wan's line "Don't try it!" simply becomes "Is!"
  • Tyop on the Cover: The setup menu on the DVD suggests that instead of a Translation Trainwreck, the "languange" of the subtitles is "Englsih", not English.
  • Unexplained Recovery: Ratio Tile seems pretty fine for somebody who - if the Space General is to be believed - has already died.
  • Unfortunate Names: Everyone and everything related to the Jedi, who are translated as "Hopeless Situations," giving us names like "Hopeless Situation Warrior", "Hopeless Situation Parliament" and "Hopeless Situation Presbyterian".
  • The Unreveal: If you're waiting to see how Qui-Gon's name is translated, prepare yourself for disappointment. The translators apparently thought his name was to difficult to translate, so they removed it completely.
  • Vocal Dissonance: Compared to the original Revenge of the Sith actors, the voices in the dubbed version go a couple different ways. Some are remarkably accurate imitations (Anakin, Obi-Wan, Padmé, Dooku, Mace Windu). Others are way off, but clearly intended to fall under Rule of Funny. Palpatine/D has a flat American accent, Yoda/Vanquish Is has a raspy woman's voice, and Grievous/Space General sounds like an evil Comic Book Guy.
  • War Is Glorious/War Is Hell: Allah Gold seems to think that "less freedom with more wars" is a good thing and also seems to treat battles as a game. Then again, he also seems to believe that starting more wars will make it easier to end war, makes reference twice to wanting to end war itself as a concept, has a history of "long peace", and is involved with peace negotiations, so where exactly he stands on this subject is rather confusing.
  • Well-Intentioned Extremist: As mentioned above, Allah Gold seems to want to abolish the concept of war in its entirety, but ends up becoming a West to do it.
  • Wham Line: "Did you heard the tragedy that Reach the Man?" For context, Reach the Man (Darth Plagueis) is also the alternate name of R2 in this version. Fittingly, ominous music kicks in following this line.
  • What the Hell, Hero?: One interpretation of Allah Gold's line about D being governor of the city. He may be reprimanding him for his use of the dark power, by reminding him of his responsibilities as governor.
  • Word Salad Philosophy: Many, many mangled sayings come off as this.
  • Word Salad Title: Due to being mangled in the translation, of course.
  • Worthy Opponent: Space General refers to Ratio Tile formally as “Section Ratio General” and says he's “really a day of brave.”
  • You Can Say That Again:
    • Allah Gold says this word-for-word to The Pudding.
    • "He cans say that again that system is very," said Text How Big when deciding to send Ratio Tile after the Space General.
  • You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: The D tells Gold that he has "completed [his] usage." Though he doesn't kill him after this. He just gives him a new mission.
  • Your Cheating Heart:
  • You Owe Me: Allah Gold to Ratio Tile after the former rescues the latter on the Space General's airship. Incidentally, the Ratio (whether out of sheer generosity or by a Freudian slip) manages to get himself deeper into debt:
    Allah Gold: Like, record, you owe me a. You owed seven times.
    Ratio Tile: Is nine times, in fact. Like, this time do not calculate. In fact.


TV Tropeseses, the Wish Power are together with you.

Alternative Title(s): Backstroke Of The West

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/JustForFun/BackstrokeOfTheWest