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The Ugly Barnacle
Why didn't anyone think of blindfolding themselves to protect their eyes from the ugly?
I think it's because it wasn't seeing the ugliness of the barnacle that killed them, it was being in the presence of it, whether they actually laid eyes upon it or not. It was just that ugly.
Was the barnacle ALWAYS ugly? At what point did everyone die, and how long did it take? Did the barnacle's ugliness kill everyone at the exact instant that he was born, or was it something that happened later in life and more gradually?
Yes. Presumably, they died when they met him.
If "everyone" died, how did the barnacle die? Did it look into a mirror?
I was reading this to help overcome my ugliness like the story was advertised to do, and it didn't help at all! What gives?
No matter how ugly you are, you'll never be as ugly as the Ugly Barnacle. That's how it's supposed to help.
Well, think of it this way: at least no one is dying because of your ugliness.
You're not ugly; you just have bad breath.
How was that story supposed to help?
So if everyone died, did the Barnacle die too?
Well, only if you count something so hideous as a person.
So if everybody died, where does the story about the ugly barnacle come from?
A few details got mixed up over generations, and there were actually a few survivors.
Or maybe only everybody in a certain region of Bikini Bottom died, and it was major news or something.
Or it's just a story.
He told his offspring as he repopulated the world.
So we're all the inbred offspring of some asexually-reproducting creature that was so ugly that everyone died? Thanks.
That didn't help!
Are there more details to the story, or are we just left guessing the plot? Unless that is the author's intention.
That IS the whole story, in its minimalistic glory.
If everyone died, why is Spongebob and Patrick still around?
Is the Barnacle really an Omnicidal Maniac? There is no evidence that he's evil or crazy. I always had him pegged as a Tragic Monster.
Was the Ugly Barnacle born from reproductive methods? If so, did everyone start dying as soon as he was conceived? Why did his parent(s) allow the barnacle to cause the death of everyone?
As soon as he was conceived? Probably not. Born? Probably. For the last one they were probably dead.
Umm . . . why, exactly, does a Throwaway Line from Spongebob have such a huge trope page?
I was shocked too. This is such a massive Memetic Mutation that it's trope pages are more comprehensive that many other trope pages for other published works. I think the best answer is "Why not?".
What, this wiki can't use Rule of Funny?
How dare you! This is a triumph of 21st century literature, a true epic for the ages!