Haiku / Twilight

Sparkly vampire.
Watches you when you're asleep.
Stalker with a Crush.
— Cali Rolls

Sparklepires wangst.
Teenage schoolgirls lap it up.
Fan hating ensues.

Stalkers are okay,
As long as they are pretty.
Implications? Nah!

Teen vampire romance.
He wants her but can't have her.
Creepiness ensues.

Wangsty vampire-boy
He sparkles in the sunlight
And stalks his girlfriend.

Ordinary girl
Wants sparkly vampire boyfriend
And that's the whole plot.

Werewolf "shapeshifters"
Imprint on others, and two
of them are pedos.

She drives me cravy
Her hot blood draws my dark side
Bite down, now we're one.
DJ Marred

SMeyer can't write
The movies are okay though
Not written by her.

She's a Mary Sue,
Clumsiness her only "flaw"
No development.

Stephenie Meyer,
Some words: There is no west coast
Of Brazil, you fool.

Some hate it, some love.
Is it sexist, romantic?
It's caused lots of fights.

Four books all about
Two Sues who fall in (stupid) love
With huge Fan Haters.

Shit novel series
Peddles female submission
Watch Buffy instead.

I consider both
Twilight fans and Fan Haters
Very fun to troll.

Vampire's don't sparkle!
Stoker's rolling in his grave.
Yeah, what next... zombies?