Gargle Blaster: Web Comics
'If you drink this, you will die.' Pretty clear warning label. Helix:
Uhm, that's the statement of quality. The warnings are listed further down.
Examples of Gargle Blasters
- In Nodwick, we have "Skullwhomper Ale". The effects are rarely shown in the comic itself, but its consumption almost invariably leads to some sort of Noodle Incident. The destruction of the local tavern it is served in is a frequent component to these, and when a local Elven/Dwarven war takes over the town, the invaders end up classifying the ale as an incendiary weapon. Skullwhomper Ale was initially brewed by a dragon who did intend to use it as an incendiary weapon. When it found out that people were stealing its concoction for drinking, it was so embarrassed that it gave Nodwick the recipe and completely gave up on its plan.
- In the webcomic Freefall, John Jones Monroevian Moonshine: Fine sipping whiskey and high explosive. According to the ingredients list on the bottle, it contains "muskrat squeezings, nitroglycerin, and other additives both natural and unnatural." This is, of course, a Shout-Out to the Kickapoo Joy Juice in Li'l Abner (made from ground up dead skunks and old shoes among other things).
- In Girl Genius, Theo's idea of a good home-brewed liquor can be expected to be at least 200 proof, and have other... interesting ingredients. "Hey, he's breathing again!" One cup of Lingonberry Snap will apparently give you hallucinations (Probably because the recipe includes hallucinogenic fungi. The stuff is also so powerful that it has to be aged in stone casks because wooden ones tend to spontaneously combust). "Ah. I'd wondered why they were playing the music backwards." Note that 200 proof is pure alcohol. Also note that under normal circumstances, opening a container of pure alcohol outside of laboratory conditions will cause it to be diluted by the moisture in the air. Maybe part of Theo's talent as a Spark makes him a Mad Moonshiner who can make impossible drinks?
- One strip of Planescape Survival Guide has a drink made from the exploded remains of a Balor demon being handled with tongs, and the hilarious aftereffects of the drink itself.
- Stickman and Cube has Una Muerte Con Mucho Dolor, which comes with several hours of warnings and disclaimers and must be served in a diamond glass.
- Life And Death has one during a dringking contest.
Death: Pardon the stereotype, but you're a dwarf. I know you've got a better drink for us.
Dwarf: Well... there is one drink... but the last time Thor had some he went blind for a fortnight.
- Something Positive:
- Questionable Content
- Faye's brew of choice, Midnight Hobo.
- Another time the group asks for a liquor store's "finest whiskey" and gets it. The bottle glows and singing angels can be heard, and just one sip was enough to allow alcoholic Faye to see quantum mechanics. It also glows.
Faye: Everything's... blueshifted... a myriad of quantum states... all of them deliciously intoxicated...
Hannelore: (reading label) "Warning: Consumption of this bourbon whiskey may cause you to get religion, get naked, or get arrested."
Dora: It doesn't say anything about relativistic time dilation. Maybe we should call the hospital. Or a physicist.
- An unidentified alcohol in a later strip is just as ominous.
- The questionably-canon Yelling Bird apparently has kerosene as its drink of choice.
- In Wicked Awesome Adventure, one of the Big Three soda corporations fighting over the post-apocalyptic world has made Mule Kick Hallucinogenic Vision Potion. It may or may not be alcoholic, but Mule Kick freely acknowledges (and even advertises) its propensity to give its drinkers mind trips.
- In S.S.D.D a CORE bar serves "99% proof cider", it's also the only thing that can get the Super Soldiers who make up a significant proportion of their clientele drunk.
Tessa: I thought the "Do not drink" label was just a marketing ploy!
Lee: Yeah, legally they need to sell this stuff as paint thinner.
- Brog ale in The Gods Of Arr Kelaan, the fermentation process involves sulfuric acid and something like nitroglycerin and even Brogs can only drink one a day. Ronson (god of alcohol) gets a little numb for a few seconds if he drinks enough of it fast enough.
- In Frederick The Great, Ignatius of Loyola's drink of choice is the Dirty Charlemagne, whose ingredients apparently include Chianti, rhino dust, and mercury. Adding extra opiates makes it a Dirtier Charlemagne.
- The Whiteboard: Doc's custom "weapons-grade" Mountain Dew can do strange things to those who consume it and aren't Doc, including a toxic or hallucinogenic effect, with the possibility of some kind of an unpredictable mutagenic effect that can turn the one consuming it into a monster.
- In the modern arc of Arthur, King of Time and Space, Gawaine has a bottle of something called El Toro Guajo, made from fermented hot Mexican guavi peppers. It has no effect on Arthur.
- The Team Fortress 2 supplemental webcomic Blood in the Water gives us whatever the hell Sniper's 'family moonshine' is. One syringe to the neck is enough to knock out the Demoman! And it has a terrible shelf-life, apparently.
Sniper: It don't keep long. Melts through the barrels.