Funny Aneurysm Moments that don't have their own categories yet.
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The commercials for the Ayds appetite-suppressant candy (which, yes, died slowly during the 1980s because of the rise of AIDS combined with its unfortunately similar name. Back then the disease was called "GRID", short for Gay Related Immune Deficiency before it was renamed in the 80s).
It gets even worse when you hear about the mad scramble the company made to save the brand — they tried renaming it "Aydslim," only to find that in those early days, AIDS was known as "the slim disease" in some parts of Africa. They've also tried renaming it "diet Ayds".
The worst part is, AIDS (the disease) actually causes weight loss.
Commercials for health insurance, of all things, hosted by the late Billy Mays.
A Federal Express ad with Steve Irwin dying of a snake bite because they used the wrong service gets darker when considering the causes surrounding Irwin's death.
In 1997, Sarah Ferguson appeared in a commercial for Weight Watchers where she was being hounded by reporters, and she says, "Losing weight can be harder than outrunning the paparazzi!" A few weeks later, her sister-in-law Diana (former Princess of Wales) had a run-in with the paparazzi that ended poorly.
On September 11, 2001, NBC showed a McDonald's commercial with the slogan "We love to see you smile." Right after that, The Today Show began their coverage of the 9/11 attacks.
A 1979 ad◊ for Pakistani International Airlines has the shadow of a jetliner over two towers. After 9/11/2001, it gets another whole new and way darker meaning.
Toyota's slogan "Moving Forward" has become a lot more uncomfortable ever since the 2010 recalls, since people have reported that their Toyota vehicles accelerate suddenly and uncontrollably, and don't respond to the driver pressing the brake pedal.
In 1968, London Weekend Television was due to start broadcasting. During the final weekend of their predecessor ATV London's broadcast, they ran a short trailer with a letter giving a positive review of the programming for the upcoming first weekend. The announcer noted that the letter "seem(ed) a bit premature", and indeed it was — the first weekend (and several more afterwards) ended up being wiped out by strike action.
A 2000 Super Bowl ad has a presenter who mentions how "in 2004, the tide was turned against AIDS", in 2006 ("two years later", according to the ad), there were "great strides against cancer, and most notably, a "remarkable breakthrough against spinal cord injuries", which featured the CG-enhanced Christopher Reevewalkingonstage. Sadly, Reeve would die in 2004, as would his wife Dana from lung cancer (despite being a non-smoker) in 2006, and we haven't seen so much progress in all those areas.
An ad for bendable eyeglass frames that aired until fall of 2001 showed a metal skyscraper ducking out of the way of an oncoming airplane.
A 2009 commercial for the MTV Video Music Awards features Taylor Swift singing about the 2009 VM As and how good it will be, including the line "There'll be no teardrops on my guitar." At the actual show, Kanye Westhappened ...
There was a funny commercial in 2008 where Chavs are destroying Britain and a family takes shelter to watch TV without any worries. Fast forward to 6 August 2011, and the London tragedy, and this isn't a laughing matter anymore.
In late 2011, one of the ads in the long-running Ashton Kutcher Nikon Coolpix campaign featured the man using his camera to seduce a bunch of women and lead them up to his hotel room. Around that same time, his marriage to Demi Moore was dissolving thanks to a very public affair.
Mattel Electronics' commercial for BurgerTime, which ends with Mr. Hot Dog saying "We are closed now!" as he slams the window shut on the drive-thru, came out months before Mattel Electronics closed down.
As if the Mr. Bucket commercial wasn't bad enough by itself, it gets even worse after reading Homestuck. Buckets are very inappropriate in troll culture.
A 1980s lamb commercial has a woman turning down the opportunity to have dinner with Tom Cruise because her mum was cooking a lamb roast that night. Nowadays, it seems like a perfectly rational decision.
During the '00s, Washington Mutual ran a series of ad campaigns focused on how great it was for its bold new business practices that were so great for consumers, like loans for borrowers that other banks considered risky. The campaigns featured WaMu's hip spokesman contrasted against a bunch of old and stodgy executives from their competitors, all of whom would declare that WaMu's new innovation would never catch on. Then WaMu went bankrupt...because of loans to risky borrowers.
Apple's '1984' advert, depicting IBM as a 1984-esque Big Brother figure, while these days, Apple are HUGE champions of Digital Restrictions Management and locking down devices so users can't use devices they own to their full capability.
Commercials for Breyers ice cream used to feature kids having trouble reading the ingredient labels of competitors, struggling to pronounce things like "polysorbate 80" and "mono and diglycerides", but can easily read the much simpler list of Breyers' ingredients containing things like milk and natural vanilla. However, Unilever has been cutting costs in the brand, so it features those same ingredients nowadays and is even marketed as "frozen dairy dessert" due to the use of the cheaper skim milk and whey (a byproduct of cheese) instead of whole milk and cream.
A 2010 ESPN "This is Sportscenter" ad featured mild-mannered Dwight Howard getting the story on how Superman saved Hannah Storm from a coffee machine that caught on fire (the joke, of course, being that Superman is Dwight Howard's alter ego). In December 2012, Storm received severe facial and upper body burns after a gas grill's propane tank exploded in her face.
This commercial for Snickers, featuring a man dressed as a cartoon dog getting cranky at people at the amusement park, becomes this after a 2013 incident where a similar situation happened with a man dressed as Cookie Monster in Times Square.
The Verizon commercials, where a guy is asking "Can you hear me now?" is made a little unnerving when the Obama Administration confirmed that they are indeed tracking phone calls.
In Kyon: Big Damn Hero's prologue Kyon tells Ryoko that she is the most reasonable person to ever try to kill him but that he remembers that time she stabbed him all too well. This becomes hilarious later on when we learn another two of his classmates tried to kill him during separate occasions, and when he's fighting for his life against some Yakuza.
The fan-fiction writers for the site Ghostbusters West Coast have a particularly bad record for this. One story had Michael Jackson as a werewolf who got savagely beaten up by the main characters and then arrested for murder, and another had a character explaining that he almost ran over an old man because "I thought you were Ted Kennedy."
In From Shizunes PerspectiveShizune once tells Misha "Eat Me", prompting Misha to quip that she told Shizune that she didn't go that way, to which Shizune responds with a nonchalant "Your Loss". In the actual visual novel, the full version of which was released after the fic Misha is a lesbian who confessed to Shizune and got rejected, but Shizune continued to keep her around, counting on her for her friendship. Misha takes the rejection and Shizune's continued presence quite hard, and these issues come to a head at the end of Act 3, potentially ending their friendship and Hisao's relationship with Shizune if you make the wrong decision.
In How I Became Yours, Toph, after hearing that Sokka revealed Zuko and Katara's love child Kuzon's existence by sending a letter to Zuko, says "Katara is going to kill you... I can only imagine what Mai will do to Zuko...". A demonized, Out of Character, Yandere Mai poisons Katara, causing her to miscarry note it had happened at the time, but Katara was unaware of Mai's involvement at this point in the story, and later tries to kill her herself. In the sequel comic, Mai apparently is the one who killed Zuko.
In a 2009 episode of Calvin and Hobbes: The Series, a panicking Calvin claims that "Japan is going to fall into the ocean!" in 2011, Japan and the ocean found themselves in a rather unpleasant relationship.
* Blaze's original story, The Conversion Bureau has three lines that were supposed to be funny when the story was written:
This quote from Twilight in the original was intended to be a joke but it's a lot less funny with the numerous stories that have the barrier being intentionally expanded as a means to force ponification.
Now, I'm almost positive all of you are here because you want to become a pony. This is a fact. You don't come here because you don't want to be a pony, unless someone forced you at gunpoint, but that's a different story. - Twilight Sparkle
This statement is a lot less amusing once you read through stories that have the PER in them.
Our plan is to ponify you, the sooner the better. Expect this to happen when you least expect it. - Twilight Sparkle
The author's note in the Google Docs version is not quite amusing anymore now that there are tons of Conversion Bureaudark fics and war stories.
I've seen a lot of backstories written about how Equestria is simply a post-apocalyptic Earth set in the distant future. I decided to expand on it in a much less...grimdark fashion. - Blaze (Author's Notes)
Averted by MAD, who halted plans to publish an issue with a cover image of George Bush burning the American flag (the flag had Alfred E. Neuman on it). The issue in question ended up coming out right before Desert Storm, making the publishers glad they didn't use the "flag" cover.
Averted again in 2001, when a cover showing Alfred running the NYC marathon and breaking through security tape at a crime scene. The issue was scheduled to come out a month or so after 9/11. The cover of course was drawn months before, but ended up being withdrawn and replaced with a close-up of Alfred's face, with the gap in his teeth being replaced by an American flag.
Played straight, however, in 2009. In Mad's "20 Dumbest People, Events, and Things" for 2008, Amy Winehouse's destructive behavior was listed at number 11. The end of the entry stated: "It makes us wonder if her next full-house appearance will be at a funeral home." About two-and-a-half years later, Winehouse was found dead in her London flat at age 27.
A feature from the late 70s, guessing where celebrities would be by 1996. Particularly painful examples from that feature include John Lennon in his 50s and discussing Frank Cosell, who died in 1995.
A fall movie preview feature in 2005 said this of Get Rich or Die Trying: "Plans to release the movie in 3D were scrapped out of concern that real bullets would be flying in the theater." After the Aurora, Colorado movie theater shooting that left 12 dead and 59 injured, it's no longer funny.
The same article featured a preview of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire remarking that Harry's scar would be applied with a knife to save on makeup costs. It stopped being funny in 2008 when Harry Potter actor Robert Knox was stabbed to death outside a London pub.
Nintendo Power's Player Pulse section in volume 72 (May 1995) featured a list of "Top 10 Crime Games". #10 was "Super Bomber Man 3: The World Trade Center". Let that sink in for a moment...
In the March 2012 issue, Chris Slate said something among the lines of "The world hasn't ended yet, but until it does, we'll be covering the hottest games throughout the year." The magazine ended in December 2012.
Time's highly positive cover story on the Xbox 360 in 2005 showed the console with two red lights glowing on its power ring. Looking at it now that we know what the "Red Ring of Death" is, it doesn't look quite so positive...
The July 20, 2012 issue of Entertainment Weekly had a cover◊ about The Dark Knight Rises, calling it "Batman's Killer Finale". If only they knew how right they were...
The June 1993 Disney Adventures cover featured Michael Jackson carrying a delighted Pinocchio (his favorite Disney character, according to the magazine) on his shoulders. Two months later, Jackson was first accused of child molestation and in the years to come his Neverland Ranch would be compared to Pleasure Island, where young boys were free to play but had to pay a horrific price for their fun — including at his 2004-05 trial on a second set of charges. Similarly, all the "Pied Piper of Pop" accolades that flew around him in The Eighties turned sour in the wake of the accusations, as people remembered what happened to the kids he enchanted. (A Cracked back cover in '93 spoofed this with Jackson as "The Pied Piper of Encino".)
In January 2009, The National Enquirer claimed that Michael Jackson had six months to live. They were right.
A National Enquirer in early 2009 said that Ted Kennedy "wouldn't live to see Labor Day". Kennedy died about a week before Labor Day.
In a 1967 issue of the New Yorker (see here), they quote a TV Guide entry: "The Nov. 5 entry of ABC's Discovery, dealing with the preservation of our natural resources, will feature Sen. Robert F. Kennedy and his family." Underneath, they joke, "They're second only to the Grand Canyon." Considering what happened to members of that family in the future....
February 22, 1861: Just over a week before his inauguration, Abraham Lincoln stated in a speech at Philadelphia's Independence Hall that he "would rather be assassinated on the spot" than to surrender the principles embodied in the Declaration of Independence.
October 23, 1872: Unusual one from the US election — the legendary cartoonist Thomas Nast published in Harper's Weekly (the Time Magazine of its era) a cartoon featuring newspaper publisher Horace Greeley, then running for President, being carried back into his home like a corpse. One week after the cartoon was published, Greeley's wife died. On November 29, Greeley himself died.
For a public political figure, having a publicity photograph taken with someone admired in a local scale is a great way to gain respect amongst people. However, it can become a complete nightmare◊ if you are the First Lady of the United States and you are photographed shaking hands with John Wayne Gacy who, at the time of the photograph, was admired as a local volunteer.
1910: A postcard◊ features an ancient Hindu good luck symbol and an associated verse explaining its significance and wishing the recipient well. A few decades later, the symbol in question would take on a much darker meaning thanks to Hitler. It's still used quite a bit in India and in many other places around the world, where it's been used for thousands of years, but then it becomes sort of poignant and touching that it can still be used innocently by millions of people and Nazism's perversion of the symbol hasn't completely ruined it. It's like a testament to Hitler's failure, or perhaps a dadaist testament to his prior roaring successes.
Before Trotsky was a Bolshevik, he claimed that if Lenin was to rule Russia then he would be a tyrant and a veritable Spiritual Successor to Robespierre. Fast-forward to 1917, and look at what Lenin's doing — and who's standing next to him.
1918: In a political cartoon, two dejected German soldiers ride home after the war. One says "Vell, it didn't pay" — referring, of course, to the war. The other soldier says "Not this time."
A famous political cartoon◊ depicts how the leaders of the victorious forces from WWI leave the Versailles peace conference which preceded the outbreak of World War II by twenty years. The weeping child in the background has "1940 class" (that is, the child will be old enough to be conscripted in 1940) written over its head.
November 1963: "If anyone is crazy enough to want to kill a president of the United States, he can do it. All he must be prepared to do is give his life for the president's." The person who said this was President John F. Kennedy. Two days later, his assassin was shot and killed on live TV.
Another notable example from JFK — when discussing the pros and cons of picking Johnson for his vice-president, he apparently said "It really does not matter that much; I am 42, I am not going to die in the office". Of course, he was lying. It wasn't publicly known at the time, but JFK was suffering from both Addison's disease and hypothyroidism, which he himself privately confessed made it unlikely he would survive more than a single term in office.
2000: Anchorage International Airport was renamed to Ted Stevens Anchorage International Airport, a highly unusual move as Senator Stevens was still among the living at the time. As of August 11, 2010... not so much. Cause of death? A plane crash.
December 2007: Although obviously written before, Parade Magazine ran a cover story about Benazir Bhutto running for Prime Minister of Pakistan, calling her something like "a shining beacon of hope for the Middle East"... a couple of weeks after she was assassinated.
May 2010: Japanese Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama was celebrated as one of Time Magazine's 100 Most Influential People in the world. He resigned about two weeks later due to a controversy over a US military base.
There's a lot of Latin on the seal of the state of South Carolina. One piece of Latin is "Quis separabit?"note "Who will separate us?" (South Carolina was the first state to secede.)
Speaking of Confederate symbolism, while The Clansman: An Historical Romance of the Ku Klux Klan is offensive enough, it has an Ambiguously Jewish Eastern European character with Funetik Aksent who sympathizes with the protagonists. In 1920, the Ku Klux Klan would be revived, this time targeting Jews as well.
In light of the events involving the murder of his wife and son, Chris Benoit's entrance music takes on a disturbing new meaning:
There's no holding me back I'm not driven by fear, I'm just driven by anger And you're under attack...
In addition, pretty much everyone stopped laughing at Kevin Sullivan, who in 1996 wrote TV depicting Benoit as trying to break up the Sullivan marriage - which is what happened in real life and what led to Benoit meeting the wife he would murder.
Benoit's titantron goes from shots of Benoit screaming in rage, to a close up of his freakish Slasher Smile, and finally, and most chillingly of all, him patting a young boy on the head.
During Royal Rumble 2003, Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit put on a wrestling clinic. Fairly early in the match Cole states that "(Benoit) has sacrificed his family. He's sacrificed his own life." Intended as a statement about his determination. It now takes a different meaning.
After the deaths, WWE spent an entire episode of Raw as a tribute to his memory. When the full story emerged it turned very quickly from heartwarming to this trope.
At ECW One Night Stand 2005 during the Mike Awesome (who was reviled by ECW fans for jumping to WCW without warning, while he was still the ECW World Heavyweight Champion) vs. Masato Tanaka match, Joey Styles commented, "Suicide dive by Mike Awesome, and it's a damn shame he didn't succeed in taking his own life!" In February 2007, Mike Awesome committed suicide.
In 1995, the WWF featured a character named Rad Radford, an attempt to cash in on the then-hot (well, more like then on the way out, but never mind) Grunge Music fad. He was booked as the ultimate Grunge musician and was hinted to be romantically involved with Courtney Love.note In the AAA promotion in Mexico, Louie Spicolli's Red Baron was "Madonna's Boyfriend." All goofy fun from wrestling's Dork Age, until you realize that Louie Spicolli, the young, up-and-coming wrestler who played Radford, later died of a drug overdose, much as many prominent Grunge musicians did, at the age of 27, the same age Kurt Cobain was when he committed suicide.
An equally chilling moment can be found on the Cheating Death, Stealing Life DVD, where Dean Malenko says (having told management of Eddie's substance abuse problems) that he didn't want to "be told my friend is dead in hotel room somewhere".
The Wrestling Fan's Great American Bash 2005 recap included mention of Vickie Guerrero's backstage promo with Eddie in which she claims that he "has a big heart". The recapper then mentions that maybe he should get that looked at by a doctor, as it could be dangerous. Eddie's official cause of death was heart failure, and an autopsy revealed he did have an enlarged heart.
A commercial for WrestleMania XIX features the announcer mentioning that all people will eventually die...over a shot of Eddie in the locker room. He also said "We are all mortals" over a shot of Chris Benoit.
Owen Hart, as the Blue Blazer, cut a promo on a 1989 Saturday Night's Main Event where he said he'd fly from the rafters if necessary.
As part of his Face-Heel Turn, CM Punk claimed his straight-edge lifestyle made him better than a drug addict hippie. Then Jeff Hardy, whom Punk had just finished feuding with, was arrested for charges of drug dealing and drug use. Guess the Pepsi swilling smart mark favorite had a point.
Part of "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's Heel Turn in 2001 included him mistreating his wife and manager, Debra . This happened little more than a year before Stone Cold was arrested for domestically abusing her.
In a recent case, Rosa Mendes faced WWE Women's ChampionBeth Phoenix in a match on WWE Superstars. She cut a promo before the match, stating "Beth Phoenix's days of being champion are coming to an end". Beth ended up tearing her ACL in that very match and had to drop the title on the next edition of Smackdown!.
A 1993 episode of Raw has Jerry Lawler referring to the Hart family as "producing more tragedies than Shakespeare". Though originally a shot at the Hart Family, considering the real life tragedies the Hart family would go through years later, the line takes a different tone now.
Shortly before Eddie Guerrero's untimely death, his nephew Chavo was portraying a character called Kerwin White, a white bread golfer with a caddy named Nick Nemeth. Had Eddie never died, this gimmick would likely be continuing today. The creepy part? That caddy would go on to be known as Dolph Ziggler, and be romantically involved with Eddie's widow. Also, it took Eddie dying for WWE to realize that the gimmick was WrestleCrap.
All of the fat jokes and insults Jerry Lawler hurled at Molly Holly during 2002 take on an even harsher note if you watch her short interview where she talks about how that encouraged the entire locker room to poke fun at her and it began eating away at her. The sad part is that she initially had no problem with the segments with Trish - she honestly felt the jokes were funny - but it was Jerry Lawler's commentary that hurt her.
Britain's domestic professional wrestling scene was nearly wiped out in a quite literal example of this, after a finishing move in a match between Shirley "Big Daddy" Crabtree and Mal "King Kong" Kirk resulted in Kirk's death from heart failure.
In a promo leading up to their match at WrestleMania XXVIII, in a 'Rock Concert', the Rock said John Cena would end up getting a divorce for making out with Eve and that divorce lawyers would be hounding him. Come May 10, 2012, John Cena files for divorce and his wife hires the same attorney Hulk Hogan's ex-wife hired for their own divorce. Made worse with claims of Cena's infidelity and otherwise non-saintly tendencies coming out in droves following the facts.
Eddie Guerrero's wife pretend to be injured by Chris Benoit during a match and played up the injury. She also called him a "woman-beater" during this time. When Benoit died, it was confirmed that he murdered his wife and son before he committed suicide.
An episode of I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue from 1995 where, after they both try to speak at once, Willie Rushton says to Barry Cryer, "No, you go first, you're likely to die sooner than me". Willie Rushton died the next year.
During a game of predictions in 1986, Willie predicted — to much laughter — that one of the sad events he foresaw for 1996 was his own death that January; he died in December.
In 1995, Tim Brooke-Taylor predicted that a 2010 Radio Times would include a listing for "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue with Humphrey Lyttelton, Barry Cryer, Graeme Garden, and Tim and Samantha Brooke-Taylor." Willie, the only one of the regulars left out, died the next year, while the others were all alive up to Humph's death in 2008.
Willie often complained about the "___'s Ball" games full of punning names about various subjects. At his last ISIHAC recording, the chosen subject was "Undertaker's Ball," full of puns about death and burial.
In one early episode of the Bob & Ray show, Ray explains that he was off yesterday due to 'a sharp pain in my lower back', joking to the effect that since he's in radio, he didn't know if it was a cold (ie., a kidney infection) back there or a knife. In hindsight... he's evidently joking about a very early symptom of the kidney failure that would kill him years later.
The special 25th anniversary edition of I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again ended with David Hatch reading the credits and finally saying "I hope to see you all again in 25 years' time", to laughter and cheers from the audience. As of 2011, every original performer is still alive — except David Hatch.
Anything said about GMG Radio's portfolio and Real Radio becoming Heart (a Global Radio brand) online now seems uncomfortable to read rather than comedy; given that their Christmas Day schedule is only 4 hours (6am-10am) local this year, compared to previous years, all due to syndicated programming. However, Real Radio still retains its "wacky DJ" personality which Heart does not have.
Now it has started to come true, and a severe Internet Backlash was seen at Radiotoday.co.uk about this
The week before he suddenly died of a brain anyeurism, radio DJ Kidd Kraddick did a segment called "Deathbed Confessions", where he imagined what he would say to his radio cohosts when he was on his deathbed.
At the 2005 MTV Video Music Awards Show, which aired on August 28, Eva Longoria joked about a “small hurricane”. Well, that hurricane, which got Miami at the time, happened to be named Katrina and New Orleans suffered her wrath a day later.
Herbert Viana, the lead singer of the Brazilian band Paralamas do Sucesso, finished an interview in 2001 by saying all he had bought a new plane, and all he wanted to do was fly (he was a pilot). Months later, he crashed the plane into the sea, in an accident that left him paralyzed from the waist down, and killed his wife.
The New Hampshire state quarter◊, initially circulated in 2000, depicts The Old Man of the Mountain, which was a state landmark. Three years after the quarter was released, the Old Man naturally collapsed.
Every joke about Dick Clark's eternal youthfulness has suffered from this since Clark's stroke in late 2004, which rendered him...somewhat less youthful.
Now even less funny come 2012, since Clark has passed away of a heart attack.
Tsutomu Yamaguchi was in Hiroshima on August 6, 1945 on a business trip. He was 2 miles away from the epicenter of the blast from the atomic bomb that was dropped on that fateful day. He survived with some injuries, and decided to quickly return home. To Nagasaki. Reportedly, the day that bomb was dropped, his boss was insisting to him the reasons that a bomb could not destroy an entire city, and was convinced Yamaguchi was making it up. To top things off, Nagasaki wasn't even the original target. It was a last-minute choice after not only one, but two, other target cities were too obscured by clouds to attack with any accuracy. And despite suffering from cancer, Yamaguchi lived to the age of 93: this guy was nuked twice and became a dedicated anti-nuclear weapons protester. This man was a reminder that nukes are not magical devices.
From "The Good War" — the massive set of WWII-based interviews by historian Studs Terkel (the brackets are part of the title, by the way): The interviewee, Maurice E. Wilson, talks about an apparently white man called Robert Brooks in his unit whom Wilson often called Nig on account of his features and hair. After Brooks died, it emerged that he was black and had lied about his race (he was pale enough to pass for white) to get into a white outfit.
Jim Fixx, the guy who made jogging popular, died of a heart attack while he was jogging. This looks ironic on the surface, but the heart problem was known, and was actually the reason Fixx took up jogging. It likely extended his lifespan.
Similarly, James Rodale - a writer and publisher who advocated for organic foods and healthy living in such publications as Prevention magazine - died of a heart attack at 72 while appearing as a guest on The Dick Cavett Show. Just minutes earlier, Rodale had predicted he would "live to be 100".
Providence radio DJ Doctor Metal of the hard rock station WHJY threatened not to go see Metallica play during the summer (even though he supported them on the air since they were still in the underground) if their new album wasn't good. He then qualified the statement by saying he doesn't know what'll happen and he could be dead by then. Shortly after that, Doctor Metal died in the Station nightclub fire in Rhode Island in February 2003. Oh and that next album, St. Anger? It wasn't good.
In a documentary about countries that aren't internationally recognised, the crew's translator talks to the Russian peacekeepers in South Ossetia, and says that, if fighting begins, they will take off their peacekeeper badges and help fight for South Ossetian independence. Three years after the documentary was filmed, fighting did break out in South Ossetia...
There is a show on the History Channel called Wild West Tech, hosted by David Carradine. A 2005 episode featured him detailing the differences between two noose knots. It gets better. At the end of the segment, he signs off: "Don't try this at home." The reruns since 2009 are...uncomfortable.
When Dr. Guillotin presented his killing machine to French Convent (the ruling body during the Revolition), he joked: "With this machine. I could cut your heads off, and you wouldn't notice!". Most members of that Convent were later executed by guillotine, though not Dr. Guillotin himself.
Even worse, that part about "you wouldn't notice?" Later testing with the guillotine during the Reign of Terror suggests that the head stayed alive for some time after being sliced off, and modern research has confirmed that from the perspective of the brain, the only difference between decapitation and sudden cardiac arrest is that there is no possible way to reverse decapitation. It is well known that cardiac arrest victims remain conscious for twelve seconds before collapsing, and the same can be said for victims of decapitation.
Though however long it took, it was still far faster, more dignified and probably less painful than strangulation by short-drop hanging, which had been the normal method for ordinary people until then. Other western nations solved this in the early 19th century with the invention of the long-drop gallows, calculated to each victim to kill as fast as possible... by what is in all intents and purposes decapitation without breaking the skin.
After a would-be terrorist tried igniting a bomb in his shoe in 2001, some comedian quipped, "...so now the government is looking in people's shoes. Thank god he wasn't trying to light a bomb in his crotch." Yeah...
Captain Morgan rum is named for privateer Henry Morgan, who died of liver failure from drinking too much rum.
The name "Hiroshima" translates literally, and uses the characters for "Spacious Island"...
According to his childhood friend Asher Wright, Nathan Hale had a mole on his neck and as a boy he was teased about by other boys who said it meant he would be hanged. One day he and Asher were out sailing and a storm blew up. Nathan laughed and said cheerfully, "Don't worry, I know I won't be drowned today. I'm going to be hanged, you know."
Inverted with Serene Branson's infamous mess up as she was reporting the Grammys. At the time people were worried she'd had a stroke but it turned out it was just a migraine so it became ok to laugh at the incident. There's even a remix of it on Youtube.
When Amy Winehouse was a guest on Never Mind The Buzzcocks some of the jokes told by Simon Amstell included: "you want us all to sit here while you drink yourself to death?" "This is not a popquiz anymore, this is an intervention. [...] We used to be close, what happened?" Amy's response? "She's dead, let it go Simon"
Also on Mock the Week a Kevin Bridges during the segment ;Scenes We'd Like To See' came up with this:
Dear Ms Winehouse, congratulations on turning 100, best wishes, the Queen.
On Patton Oswalt's blog in 2007, in a gag list of his top five albums from the year he includes "Remembrance: The Amy Winehouse Box", giving Island Records credit for "embracing reality and preparing for the inevitable."
Many Americans are familiar with Rollen Stewart, more commonly known as the "Rainbow Man" who attended many sports games from the 1970s and 1980s wearing a cute rainbow wig and carrying a sign that simply said "John 3:16." This caught the attention of the cameras, and sports fans from that time period watching games on television would invariably see Rainbow Man, guaranteeing him a positive place in American pop culture. That was, until he was sentenced to life in prison in 1992 for kidnapping and terrorist threats.
All those highlight-reel moments of Dale Earnhardt's failures in the Daytona 500. Especially the last lap blow-out in 1990 that happened yards from where he crashed and died on the last lap eleven years later.
Comedian Jeff Foxworthy had a joke where he was discussing Red Necks' love of commemorative plates,and NASCAR, referring to a "Legends of NASCAR" plate with Dale Earnhardt. Foxworthy's redneck says "That's Dale Earnhardt, he wasn't in a wreck or nothin', that's just catsup on the plate"
In 2007, NASCAR driver Jeremy Mayfield was sponsored by 360 OTC, an over the counter prescription line for 10 races. This sponsorship takes on a whole new meaning considering his suspension from NASCAR for testing positive for methamphetamine, or his recent arrest for drug possession.
Football manager Alan Pardew- who was out of work at that time- was censured for comparing a challenge by Michael Essien as a rape during the Chelsea vs Manchester City in March 2009. The player who was victim of that tackle? Chedwyn Evans who was imprisioned for a real case just 3 years later.
Rob Moroso was named the 1990 NASCAR Rookie of the Year, despite dying in a DUI accident earlier in the season. The scary part to this is that his first sponsorship in a NASCAR race was Old Milwaukee beer! This is even more frightening if you consider that for the two races he was sponsored by Old Milwaukee, he was only 17!
The development of Nomex firesuits in the 1960's for race car drivers was brought on by the deaths of three drivers due to fire, and the lackluster protection drivers were offered at the time. The first driver to die was a NASCAR driver by the name of Edward Glenn Roberts Jr. His nickname? "Fireball Roberts!"
This Subway commercial features an American football referee with a number 85 shirt admitting to missing a call. In 2008, referee Ed Hochuli admitted to missing a call to the San Diego Chargers coach, which ended up costing the Chargers the game. Hochuli's shirt number? 85.
At the age of 25, college basketball legend "Pistol" Pete Maravich stated in an interview, "I don't want to play 10 years in the NBA and then die of a heart attack at 40." A leg injury necessitated his retiring from basketball after 10 seasons. And he died of a heart attack, at 40.
In a 2006 Toronto Star interview, Then-Toronto Maple Leafs defenseman Wade Belak was asked where he'd be in 5 years, and jokingly replied "Dead". Belak commited suicide 5 years later, in 2011, and the interview was reprinted
In a Take That to the accusations of rules violations regarding overseeing his players' academic progress that led North Carolina State basketball coach Jim Valvano to resign in 1990, he titled his autobiography Valvano: They Gave Me a Lifetime Contract, and Then They Declared Me Dead. The book came out in February of 1991. Valvano was diagnosed with cancer in June of 1992 and died less than a year later.
Eugene Robinson was a longtime free safety who joined the Atlanta Falcons in 1998 after having appeared in the previous two Super Bowls with Green Bay. The morning before the 1999 Super Bowl (the third consecutive he appeared in), Robinson, who had been outspoken about his Christian faith, received the Athletes in Action Bart Starr Award for outstanding Christian character. That night, Robinson got arrested for soliciting a prostitute who turned out to be an undercover cop. Robinson returned the award, but his distraction was made obvious when Bronco wide receiver Rod Smith burned him for an 80-yard touchdown pass near the end of the first half.
In September 2009, troubled former NHL player Theoren Fleury began a much-publicized attempt at a comeback by signing a tryout contract with the Calgary Flames. On September 25, though making an admirable effort to return to the game after recovering from alcohol and drug addictions, he was released from his contract. Even worse for Fleury? An article about his comeback published by Canada's largest sports network TSN was titled "Snuffed Out." Given Canada's obsession with the game of hockey, this being just an oversight is... well, unlikely.
French-Canadian Formula One driver Gilles Villeneuve called the Belgian Zolder circuit "a good killer" in an interview in early 1982. (meaning it would be extremely tiring in the hard-sprung cars of the time). He was killed in crash at that track later in the same year.
Before the 1999 British Grand Prix, Martin Brundle on his gridwalk spoke to Damon Hill, and urged him to "Break a leg mate". Damon didn't, but Michael Schumacher did, literally.
Jochen Rindt, upon winning the 1970 German Grand Prix at Hockenheim, claimed that his car was so easy to drive that a monkey could have won the race. 2 races later and Rindt was dead, having crashed the very same car.
Rindt was advised a year before he died by his manager (one Bernie Ecclestone); "If you want to win, join Lotus. If you want to live, join Brabham". He joined Lotus.
Murray Walker signed off the 1994 Pacific Grand Prix coverage by remarking how interesting the season was turning out, and told us to look forward to the next race at Imola where anything could happen. We soon found out what could happen.
A columnist writing for the San Jose Mercury News joked in his October 17, 1989 column that, as the two teams contesting the World Series were from California (San Francisco and Oakland), an "earthquake could rip through the Bay Area before they sing the national anthem for Game 3". The Loma Prieta earthquake, the most intense earthquake in California for 35 years and in San Francisco for 80 years, struck at 5:04pm that day... during the warm-up for Game 3.
Declan Sullivan, a Notre Dame student, had a job filming the school's football practice from a hydraulic scissors lift. On an extremely windy day, he tweeted, ""Gusts of wind up to 60 mph. Well today will be fun at work. I guess I've lived long enough." During work that day, the lift collapsed and he died.
"I will never have a heart attack. I give them." - George Steinbrenner
"I probably won't be alive to see it (his record 88-game winning streak broken)" - John Wooden (Died June 2010, record was broken by The University of Connecticut Women's Basketball in December 2010.)
"This is gonna be a spectacle. This is a great way to go out." - Dan Wheldon to ABC during pace laps of the final race of the 2011 Indy Car Series, commenting on the scale of the event and his shot at a $5,000,000 prize in Las Vegas. He would be killed from injuries sustained in a mass accident 11 laps into the race.
Greg Moore, injured in the paddock following an accident on his scooter the day before the final race of the 1999 CART season at Fontana, gave an interview to ESPN before getting into his car. The reporter handed back to the commentators with the words: "Greg's ready to fly today". Just under an hour later, Greg's car became airbourne and hit a barrer. He was killed instantly.
Penn State's venerable college football program was rocked in 2011 when allegations of child sexual abuse against former assistant coach Jerry Sandusky, spanning several decades, became public. Back in 2001 Sandusky had published an autobiography. The title? Touched: The Jerry Sandusky Story.
"Babe Ruth is 'dead' as far as the Yankees are concerned." Jacob Rupert October 22, 1935...13 years later that quote had a much sadder reality behind it.
Before the 2013 Sprint All-Star Race and Coca Cola 600, Fox Sports devoted a large amount of time talking about their new camera that flies over the track. During the early portion of the Coca Cola 600, a cable on the camera broke, damaged a few cars, and led to a red flag to sort out the damage. This bragging is even worse in light of the fact that NASCAR has now banned these cameras from use at events.
Shortly after the law banning cigarette advertising on race cars in the United States was signed into law, Benny Parsons was discussing the matter, and stated at length that he supports Winston as the title sponsor of NASCAR's top series. This discussion takes on a whole different meaning after his death from lung cancer.
Stand Up Comedy
In this rare stand-up footage of Chris Latta (using his birth name Chris Collins), known for voicing Starscream and Cobra Commander, refers to himself as "a psychotic who managed to market his psychosis". He later died of cerebral hemorrhage.
One of the tracks on Bill Cosby's "Himself" album is titled "Kill the Boy". It begins with Bill's wife telling him to go upstairs and kill their son. Not so funny after Ennis Cosby's murder.
During that same performance, he also made a remark about his daughters killing his son. Something like: "The boy is eleven. I don't think he'll make it to twelve. His sisters will kill him."
In the Eddie Murphy standup special RAW, the comedian talks about the problems with marriage. In one (extremely politically incorrect) part, he details how he would court and marry a poor impoverished African woman as opposed to an American one, as all American women are interested in are "half" of a man's net worth; but he notes that, in the US, the African woman would soon be interested in the same thing. Then in the movie Coming to America, Murphy plays a prince of an African kingdom who comes to America to find love because all of the women in his kingdom only want him for his status. In Real Life, Murphy married an American woman, who eventually divorced him, and fathered a child with a British singer (Scary Spice).
Standup comedian Louis C.K. did a routine in his 2008 stand up special "Chewed Up" where he described his marriage as "almost done". Later that year, he and his wife divorced.
The core rulebook for White Wolf's Vampire: The Requiem includes, in a passage about storytellers embellishing the "dark and gritty" elements of the World of Darkness, a description of the differences between the real world version of New Orleans and the World of Darkness version; this was an example for the book. The last paragraph detailed how the street level was just below the water level of the Mississippi River and that the water was held back by levies that were ill-kept. Vampire: The Requiem was first published in 2004, one year before Hurricane Katrina caused the canal levies in New Orleans to break and flood the entire city. That has been described as the worst natural disaster in American history... The street level of New Orleans was, and still is, several feet below the water level of the Mississippi. And the canal levees were not especially well kept at the time of Katrina; they were made to withstand a category 3 hurricane's flood, but unfortunately not a category 5's.
The real clincher? There was a sidebar describing how, if you really wanted to shake up the political situation of the Kindred of New Orleans, have a hurricane sweep through, break the levees, and cause devastation, no doubt destroying a few elders when their havens are destroyed and the sunlight comes streaming in. The books detailing the individual clans then had to follow through on this chain of thought in detail when real life decided to step in...
A fairly (in)famous example would be the "Terrorist Nuke◊" card from Steve Jackson Games' 1995 CCG Illuminati: New World Order. Granted, it's implicitly a bomb going off rather than an airplane crash, but they even got the positioning right.
A Running Gag in the GURPS Illuminati University setting involves the crushing amounts of debt racked up by students (to the point where the university often has claim to all future earnings from the student, assuming they let them graduate). Not nearly so funny since 2012.
Still Other Examples
An Alternate Reality Game based on NUMB3RS called Chain Factor revolved around a flash game designed by a villain with the goal of forming an algorithm to destroy the world's economy. The ending revealed that the plan succeeded, though it would be impossible to tell when it would go into effect.
In January 2009, Cinema Blend did an article on the 100 People most likely to die in 2009. It said that Michael Jackson would die of "the wind blowing him over". Other people on that list that died in 2009 are Ed McMahon and Ted Kennedy. Several other people on the list are dead, but they didn't die in 2009 (Gary Coleman, J.D. Salinger, Peter Falk, Senator Robert Byrd, Dick Clark, etc.)
1976: A column by Mike Royko noted that some viewers were irrationally offended by the appearance of an elderly Mary Pickford on the Academy Awards telecast. He wrote: "If you turn your head away from Mary Pickford, and find it all so distasteful, then there's something wrong with you, kid, because it's perfectly normal. It happens to all of us, unless we croak first. We get old. Take Margaux Hemingway, the tall stunner who was on the show. One of these days she's going to wrinkle up, and maybe her teeth will fall out, maybe even her hair, and her knee joints will go crackety-crack. Is that too terrible to face — Margaux Hemingway's knee joints going crackety-crack?" As it turned out, none of that happened to Margaux Hemingway; she died of a drug overdose at age 42.
A video created for the 5th anniversary of the Spirit rover's landing on Mars used a song with the lyric "She's run aground, she's run aground." Shortly thereafter, Spirit got stuck in a sand dune and can no longer, um... rove.
Actor Corey Feldman has a tendency to make jokes about what a trainwreck his career is, the irony being that his friend Corey Haim was doing even worse. And now he's dead...
The Universe of Energy at EPCOT was once sponsored by Exxon and while it discussed clean energy at length, it also ended with a long celebration of Exxon and their wonderful, wonderful oil tankers. This...didn't go over well after a certain incident in Alaska and the show was changed...
...into a new show that might as well be renamed "I Love Fossil Fuels". It was probably unfunny to start with, but people were apparently leaving the theater after the gas crisis and the show plays even worse now. (As of yet, there are no stated plans to change anything.)
On the first of March of 2011, adoptable pet website Chicken Smoothie released a line of adoptable dogs themed after Japanese woodblock prints, including the famous and iconic "The Great Wave off Kanagawa"◊, colloquially known as "The Tsunami." This ended up being the worst timing ever, after the earthquake later that month ended up rocking Japan with its worst earthquakes and tsunami in more or less its recorded history.
The Formspring Question of the Day on March 10, 2011 asked something to the effect of what you would do if you had 24 hours left to live. Unfortunately, that wasn't a hypothetical situation for many people...
This Jewish joke: Two shnorrers are standing at the roadside and watching some workers repair the street. One of them muses: "Today, we have a bad life... but soon, The Messiah will come, and then everything will be exactly the opposite." The other one thinks about it and states then: "You mean - we will repair the street, and they will watch us?" Definitely becomes unfunny when you think about that some time after this joke was made, The Nazis made the Jews do all kinds of forced work, including street repairing, while Germans would oversee them.
Canadian model Tanya Melissa Makse (whose profile can be found on a certain model website), mentioned on her official Facebook page about Wigan/Bolton/Bury council's planned budget cuts for 2011, speculating about them. The date?? April 2010. Fast-forward to now, and it seems incredibly Harsher in Hindsight, not to mention eerily prophetic.
Incidentally, although her Facebook page still exists, her modelmayhem.com profile disappeared (but if it will return is another issue!)
Now she's back on modelmayhem.com, but as Tanya Makse, dropping her middle name.
Possibly this essay from George Lucas on preserving films.
NEC never specified exactly what the name for its PC-FX stood for. One interpretation happens to be "Personal Computer - Future Unknown". It's no secret that they had no future with video game consoles, or even games themselves, after the system bombed.