Funny: Zoolander

  • "God? What the shit are you talking about?!"
  • The Last of These Is Not Like the Others
    Mugatu: Do not be distracted by the beautiful celebrities...
    (cardboard cutouts of Lance Bass, Lil Kim, Fred Durst, and....Garry Shandling pop up)
    • Comes back again during the actual assassination attempt, with all of the aforementioned celebrities sitting front row. Even Shandling.
  • Derek's and Hansel's epic staredown, trash talking and subsequent "walk-off."
    • And shortly beforehand, there's the arrival of David Bowie, for which the film stops to introduce him while "Let's Dance" plays.
  • The unveiling of Mugatu's model for the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good.
    Derek: What is this? (smashes model on the floor) A center for ants?!
    Mugatu: ...what?
    Derek: How are we supposed to teach children to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?
    Mugatu: .....Derek, it's just a mo-
    Derek: I don't want to hear your excuses!!! The center has to be at least... (stares blankly) ...three times bigger than this!
    Mugatu (wanting to move on): He's absolutely right! *shrug*
  • Matilda admits to Derek and Hansel that she was a bulimic teenager.
    Derek: can read minds?
  • Maury Squicking Mugatu out with his prostate troubles.
  • Derek's left walk is so beautiful that a shurikin stops in midair.
  • "A eugoogoolizer. You know, one who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I was too stupid to know what a eugoogooly was?!"
  • "But why male models?"
    • " serious? I just... I just told you that a moment ago."
      • "Oh."
    • Made funnier as this was the result of Stiller forgetting his next lines, causing Duchovny to ad-lib.
    • And before that during the exposition where he says that all male models are gullible and stupid enough to be brainwashed into doing just about anything.
      Derek: "That is not true!"
      J.P. Prewett: "Yes it is, Derek."
      Derek: "Okay."
      • "You're a monkey, Derek!"
  • The "Unfortunate gasoline fight incident."
  • During his Villainous Breakdown, Mugutu points out an elephant in the fashion industry's room:
    "Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigre? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody else notice this?! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the Piano Key Necktie! I invented it! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, DEREK?! NOTHING! YOU'VE GOT NOTHING!! NOTHING!!!"
    • What's more hilarious is that Mugatu's own reaction to Magnum completely defies his screeching, barely seconds later.
  • Spoofing the world of the Conspiracy Theory, by offering the alternate history of male models as assassins:
    • John Wilkes Booth: the first actor-slash-model! (He even gives the camera a Face while shooting Lincoln)
    • Lee Harvey Oswald wasn't a model, "but those two pretty boys on the Grassy Knoll sure as shit were!"
  • Derek, Hansel, and Matilda decide to have a threesome. Then they are joined by a dude who tattooed his entire head, a midget, a Tibetan monk, and as mentioned by Derek in the following scene, two Finnish dwarves and a Maori tribesman.
  • Derek's attempt to work the coal mines with his family back home. "Attempt" being the operative word here - he poses and struts through his shift and generally looks completely out of place.
  • The Running Gag of Hansel failing to pronounce Malaysia correctly, with each attempt more pathetic than the last.
  • The computer scene.
  • This part:
  • Hansel smashing the computer that holds evidence they need.
    Hansel: Where'd all the files go?