- Columbus trying to ride off on a motorcycle to save Little Rock and Wichita like a heroic badass... and failing.
- "I'm in Garland, Texas. And it may look like zombies destroyed it, but that's actually just Garland."
- Columbus revealing his greatest fear while sitting on a toilet when a Monster Clown bursts out from under the door (fortunately its only his imagination).
- After the girls run off again:
Columbus: (to Tallahassee) You're like a giant cockblocking robot built in a secret fucking government lab.
- When Columbus finally overcomes his coulrophobia by smashing in the face of a zombie clown with a sledgehammer, the impact of the blow causes a comical clown nose *Honk*.
- This part of the 406 sequence:
Columbus: * holding a blender as a weapon* Now listen, 406, I don't want to hurt you but—* blender falls apart*Columbus: "...Shit."
- The poor weapon choices continue later in that scene as Columbus attempts to bash 406 over the head with a bag of cotton balls, followed by a roll of toilet paper.
- "Somebody's ear is in danger of having hair brushed over it!"
- Columbus chucking the whiskey out the car window is done so perfectly, it's probably the best example of quickly-disposing-of-stuff-whilst-other-person-ain't-looking on film.
- Columbus' final stand off with a zombie clown. The scenario is hilarious enough, but what he says before we see the clown is what sells it.
Columbus: Oh my god, look at this fucking clown.
- Tallahassee raging about the Hostess truck being filled with nothing but Snowballs. Making it worse for the poor man (and funnier for us) is that there are Twinkies in the truck; observant viewers can see that there are unopened Twinkies on the right side of the screen, just to Tallahassee's left, when the camera's point of view is inside the storage compartment.
- "Thank God for rednecks!" After finding a very hillbilly house with an H3 Hummer. With a case of weapons in the back.
- After Little Rock takes them hostage a second time, Tallahassee shrieks "Don't kill me with my own gun!"
- When they're raiding Bill Murray's kitchen.
Little Rock: No Twinkies.Tallahassee: Shit-fuck!
- Tallahassee gushing over Bill Murray — "I've been watching your movies since I was...old enough to masturbate! Not that those two things are connected."
- Tallahassee: I've never been good with goodbyes so... That'll do pig.
- Tallahassee attracting zombies by playing "Dueling Banjos" from Deliverance on a banjo, then smashing a charging zombie's head in with it while yelling "You've got a purdy mouth!"
- "You've never heard of Willie Nelson?" "No." "Willie. Nelson."
Little Rock: Who's Bill Murray?Tallahassee: ...I've never hit a child, but asking who Bill Murray is?? That's like asking who Gandhi is!!Little Rock: ...who's Gandhi?
- "Blind spots are for other drivers!"
- How about when Columbus and Tallahassee are talking about the last time they got laid and they see a zombie in the middle of the road eating a person?
- Tallahassee: Look, whatever you have waitin' for you in Columbus, I promise you it ain't any prettier then our friend here enjoying her manwich.
- Tallahassee then steers the Cadillac around, driving at a reasonable speed and opens the door, smacking the zombie in the face while he laughs.
- Tallahassee's verbal backtrack:
- Tallahassee: [Pacific Playland] totally blows![Little Rock and Wichita give Tallahassee angry looks]Tallahassee: ... my mind. Just fun for the whole family.
- "Oh. My. God. You're thinking about fucking Wichita. Well, wish granted, boy! She's been fucking us for the past 24 hours!"
- "You weren't exactly storming the trenches when I came in."
- Tallahassee points out that some rules no longer apply in Zombieland while Little Rock is driving:
Tallahassee: You don't have to worry about blind spots, blind spots are for the other drivers!
- During the driving montage, the brief shot of Little Rock explaining how Hannah Montana works to a surprisingly enthralled Tallahassee. With "Popular" by Kristin Chenoweth playing in the background.
Wichita: "This is the freeway, so you can go up to 65, but you don't want to go over 75..."Columbus: "You don't want to go over 20!"
- And the bit of the montage where Little Rock is driving.
- Wichita's Janine Melnitz impression after she, Tallahassee, and Bill Murray get stoned and re-create the ballroom scene from Ghostbusters (1984).
- Wichita punking Columbus for the second time and going Bummer.
- The zombie three-legged race in the opening sequence. Note how the opening sequence alternates between awesome and funny with every shot?
- The stereotypical Suburban Mom Van being mobbed by an army of small zombie girls dressed as princesses.
- Unrelated to the story, and just for the amusement of the audience, a narrator declares that "Zombie Kill of the Week" goes to Sister Cynthia Knickerbocker with a piano drop, of all things.
- On repeated viewings, when you realise that the guy who gets killed in the bathroom to demonstrate rule #3 is the same guy who gets conned by Wichita and Little Rock in their flashback.
- The appearances of the rules on screen when they're applied. The words appear on the screen, always in a manner appropriate to the scene - and when "Enjoy the little things" floats over a destroyed tacky souvenir shop, cracking, creaking and the word 'things' about to fall off the sentence at any moment...it's a hilarious visual gag.
- Even better is the rule #1 Cardio.
- As Columbus runs from the zombies at the gas station, the rule appears and one of the zombies smashes hip-first into the rule and breaks it. In lap two, that zombie is limping far behind.
- That moment when they grab a map in Hollywood that you realize that there's a zombie who's dressed like Charlie Chaplin.
- Columbus giving both barrels to not-actually-zombie Bill Murray.
- Not to mention this quote following that scene:
Little Rock: "Do you have any regrets?"Bill: "Garfield, maybe."
- Tallahassee examines the wound, saying that they probably won't be able to stitch it up.
Bill:: Uh, that's still tender.
- The team tries a 21-gun salute, only for Columbus to have to reload halfway through...and after the drop the body, Columbus offers Purell to anyone who wants it. Everyone accepts.
- What about his final breath going on FAR too long.
- The Stinger is even better.
- Not to mention this quote following that scene: