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Columbus trying to ride off on a motorcycle to save Little Rock and Wichita like a heroic Badass... and failing.
"I'm in Garland, Texas. And it may look like zombies destroyed it, but that's actually just Garland."
Columbus revealing his greatest fear while sitting on a toilet when a (fortunately its only his imagination).
Monster Clown bursts out from under the door After the girls run off again:
Columbus: To Tallahasee You're like a giant cockblocking robot built in a secret fucking government lab.
When Columbus finally overcomes his coulrophobia by smashing in the face of a zombie clown with a sledgehammer, the impact of the blow causes a comical clown nose *Honk*.
This part of the 406 sequence:
Columbus: * holding a blender as a weapon* Now listen, 406, I don't want to hurt you but—
* blender falls apart*
The poor weapon choices continue later in that scene as Columbus attempts to bash 406 over the head with a bag of cotton balls, followed by a roll of toilet paper.
"Somebody's ear is in danger of having hair brushed over it!"
Columbus chucking the whiskey out the car window is done so perfectly, it's probably the best example of quickly-disposing-of-stuff-whilst-other-person-ain't-looking on film.
Columbus' final stand off with a zombie clown. The scenario is hilarious enough, but what he says before we see the clown is what sells it.
Columbus: Oh my god, look at this fucking clown.
Wichita and Little Rock
During the driving montage, the brief shot of Little Rock explaining how works to a surprisingly enthralled Tallahassee. With Hannah Montana "Popular" by Kristin Chenoweth playing in the background.
And the bit of the montage where Little Rock is driving.
Wichita: "This is the freeway, so you can go up to 65, but you don't want to go over 75..."
Columbus: "You don't want to go over
Wichita's Janine Melnitz impression after her, Tallahassee, and Bill Murray get stoned and re-create the ballroom scene from .
Ghostbusters Wichita punking Columbus for the second time and going Bummer.
The zombie three-legged race in the opening sequence. Note how the opening sequence alternates between awesome and funny with every shot?
The stereotypical Suburban Mom Van being mobbed by an army of small zombie girls dressed as princesses.
Unrelated to the story, and just for the amusement of the audience, a narrator declares that "Zombie Kill of the Week" goes to Sister Cynthia Knickerbocker with a falling piano, of all things.
On repeated viewings, when you realise that the guy who gets killed in the bathroom to demonstrate rule #3 is the same guy who gets conned by Wichita and Little Rock in their flashback.
The appearances of the rules on screen when they're applied. The words appear on the screen, always in a manner appropriate to the scene - and when "Enjoy the little things" floats over a destroyed tacky souvenir shop, cracking, creaking and the word 'things' about to fall off the sentence at any moment...it's a hilarious visual gag.
Even better is the rule #1 Cardio.
As Columbus runs from the zombies at the gas station, the rule appears and one of the zombies smashes hip-first into the rule and breaks it. In lap two, that zombie is limping far behind.
Columbus giving both barrels to not-actually-zombie Bill Murray.