History Funny / ZeroPunctuation1

* "But let's close this review with a revisit of that lovely matter of racism that's been hanging around like a bad smell. [=RE5=] actually does a lot to defer that accusation. Your partner is black (a bit), quite a few whiteys are scattered throughout the early hordes, and real effort has been put into a somewhat realistic and sympathetic depiction of modern Africa. ''And then...!'' Halfway through the game, we suddenly find ourselves in [[UnfortunateImplications a succession of mud hut villages fighting crowds of jabbering black people in loincloths and war paint, chucking spears]]. ''Oh, dears!'' [[OutOfTheFryingPan Talk about sidestepping a pothole only to fall off a bridge]]. But one needn't be worried unless there's genuine hatred behind it, [[InnocentBigot and I don't get that impression]]. Creator/{{Capcom}} [[HanlonsRazor aren't bad people, they're just idiots!]]"

* Yahtzee mentioning that he bought the game illegally (from '''[[BassoProfundo GAMETRADERS ROBINA]]''') due to it not being officially released in Australia. He then went on to name the store he bought it from ('''GAMETRADERS ROBINA''') over and over again, the final time ('''GAMETRADERS ROBINA''') actually giving the exact address of the store -- adding in where he then brought the game to try it out ('''MY FRIEND GUY'S HOUSE''').

* His metaphor of Creator/Nintendo as the first survivor killed in a ZombieApocalypse, UsefulNotes/XBox as the heroine, and [[UsefulNotes/PlayStation3 PS3]] as Creator/VingRhames, culminating in a VisualPun about the "tortured metaphor" with [[JackBauerInterrogationTechnique Jack Bauer]] at a computer.

-->Once upon a time, [[UsedToBeASweetKid a fresh-faced youngster]] saved up all his pennies and brought his first [[UsefulNotes/PlayStation2 PS2]]. And with it, he bought a game called [[Videogame/RedFaction Red Faction 1]]. And after rushing home to play he discovered that Red Faction 1 was not a very good game. Actually, it was total shite on a crusty roll. And on that day something changed in that optimistic youth. He realised that for all the pomp and excitement of a new console generation, there will always be [[UsefulNotes/{{Shovelware}} shite]]. And no amount of emotion engines can un-shite the shite. [[WhenItAllBegan Thus began his downfall into the black, emotionless, flinty-hearted creature you see before you.]]

-->''[PROTOTYPE]'' loses several million points right out of the gate by being about a guy about amnesia, and it only goes downhill from there. ''[=inFAMOUS=]'' keeps things nice and straightforward: magic ball gives everyone superpowers, everyone wants magic ball, go find magic ball, [[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers psychic trash robot.]] It does things comic book-style, which is probably the right way to go when you’re dealing with science so soft, you could spread it on a croissant. ''[PROTOTYPE]'', meanwhile, has more of a disaster movie conspiracy thriller feel to it, that gets so confusing that they had to put in an entire gameplay mechanic based around eating the brains of people who might know what the fuck is going on!

''(illustration of [[CrossTheLineTwice George W. Bush with a tophat and a cane gleefully tapdancing on the back of black man]])''

* Yahtzee's digression on why he cannot help but see Drake as somewhat racist, is accompanied with a recreation of the scene from ''Film/DieHardWithAVengeance'' where John [=McClaine=] is made to wear the "[[CrossesTheLineTwice I HATE NIGGERS!]]" sandwich board in the streets of Harlem, with Drake in place with Drake in the place of [=McClaine=].

* Yahtzee's digression on why he cannot help but see Drake as somewhat racist, is accompanied with a recreation of the scene from ''Film/DieHard3'' where John [=McClaine=] is made to wear the "[[CrossesTheLineTwice I HATE NIGGERS!]]" sign in the streets of Harlem, with Drake in place with Drake in the place of [=McClaine=].

* Also for the genuinely batshit plot of the ''Franchise/MetalGear'' series:

* "''[[JustForPun Shuttered Mammaries]]'' is technically a remake of ''VideoGame/SilentHill1'', in the same way a dog biting off your dick is technically foreplay." With animation of a dog tugging on a long black bar protruding from Yahtzee's crotch with the word "YUM" written on it while Yahtzee stands there doing nothing except for [[MajorInjuryUnderreaction widening his eyes]], the dog finally separating it from his body and walking away with it leaving a trail of blood, and Yahtzee staring after the dog with a big heart floating over his head.

** Before that, his musings on playing the original ''VideoGame/TombRaider'' as a kid:
--->It kind of [[NostalgiaFilter takes me back to when I was fifteen]] and playing the original ''VideoGame/TombRaider'' and I'd back her up into a corner to get the best view[[note]]arrow points at her chest[[/note]] of her juicy--[[LastSecondWordSwap thighs]][[note]]arrow points at her thighs[[/note]].\\

[[Funny/ZeroPunctuation Funny (Non-ZP)]] | '''Zero Punctuation 1 (2007 - 2010)''' | [[Funny/ZeroPunctuation2 Zero Punctuation 2 (2011 - 2013)]] | [[Funny/ZeroPunctuation3 Zero Punctuation 3 (2014 - 2016)]] | [[Funny/ZeroPunctuation4 Zero Punctuation 4 (2017 - 2019)]] | [[Funny/ZeroPunctuation5 Zero Punctuation 5 (2020)]] | [[Funny/ZeroPunctuation6 Zero Punctuation 6 (2021)]] | [[Funny/ZeroPunctuation7 Zero Punctuation 7 (2022 - )]]

-->Aliens vs. Predator is one of those concepts you're probably not supposed to think too much about, especially not the title. Surely they're both aliens, and come to think of it they're both predators, too. Perhaps a more explanatory title is necessary, like Big Dribbly Black Thing That Likes Eating Lance Henriksen and Has a Head That Makes You Wonder About What Sort of Relationship H. R. Giger Had With His Father vs. Big Clicky Invisible Thing with a Crab for a Face That Always Seems to End Up Getting Beaten Up By Big Stupid Lads Wearing Dirty Pants.

* It's hard to catch, but in the review he claims the game "only stands out in the area of juvenile gore", illustrated with a graph that asserts that ''{{Franchise/Barbie}} Horse Riding'' has over twice as much hardcore violence as ''VideoGame/{{Resistance}}: Fall of Man''.

--->'''Jill:''' ''<with a zombie latched onto her arm>'' [[Franchise/SpiderMan Hooker sense tingling]]

-->Well bugger my bumblebee's breadbin! First weeks of Twenty-Ten are going to be fun, aren't they? ''VideoGame/{{Darksiders}}'', ''VideoGame/{{Bayonetta}}'', ''VideoGame/DantesInferno'', and ''VideoGame/GodOfWarIII''... ''God of War'' ripoff, ''God of War'' ripoff, ''God of War'' ripoff, and... Well, ''VideoGame/GodOfWar''.

* While discussing {{JRPG}}s he liked Yahtzee likens VideoGame/{{Earthbound}} to the Franchise/CthulhuMythos mixed with [[ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}} The Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show]].

-->There's a school of gaming that thinks games need to be more cinematic -- a school where they have to put padding on every solid surface and none of the students are allowed near anything sharper than a crayon.

* This particularly hilarious lineL

* When he illustrates the difficulty settings with pictures of a kitten, a bigger kitten, a tiger, and then for the hardest setting he shows a picture of a [[UsefulNotes/FurryFandom fursuited guy]]. [[AcceptableTargets With all the former ones terrified]]!

-->[...] In heaven [[HollywoodCuisine the food is Italian]], [[UsefulNotes/BritishCoppers the police are British]], [[VideoGame/PrinceOfPersiaTheSandsOfTime the platformers are French]], [[VideoGame/SeriousSam the shooters are Croatian]], and it's all run by two international software giants and an electronics corporation. [[ForeignQueasine In hell the food is British]], [[VideoGame/TooHuman the shooters are Canadian]], [[{{Metaphorgotten}} and I forget the rest]], but basically the gist of the saying is that [[AcceptableNationalityTargets Italians are all tossers]].

* Yahtzee's explanation for why he thinks the Player Character was in jail in the first place - for [[RatedMForManly shagging the Emperor's wife and daughter at the same time]], [[RuleOfCool while playing a guitar solo on the corpse of God]].

-->"Everything is drenched in symbolism! The basic monsters are all suspiciously effeminate, with the exception of Pyramid Head, in his first appearance ([[WolverinePublicity before he totally sold out]]) - [[RatedMForManly an uber-masculine powerhouse]] repeatedly seen [[FreudWasRight plunging his massive throbbing knife into the other monsters' moist, quivering bodies]], which obviously symbolizes ''[{{Beat}}]'' [[BaitAndSwitch neoconservative imperialism.]]" ''[Pyramid Head stabs one of the monsters, labeled "Iran"; his knife is labeled "pre-emptive warfare", PH himself is labeled "The West",'' ''[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and his helmet is labeled "Pyramid Thing"]]]''

* "But let's close this review with a revisit of that lovely matter of racism that's been hanging around like a bad smell. [=RE5=] actually does a lot to defer that accusation. Your partner is black [[ButNotTooBlack (a bit)]], quite a few whiteys are scattered throughout the early hordes, and real effort has been put into a somewhat realistic and sympathetic depiction of modern Africa. ''And then...!'' Halfway through the game, we suddenly find ourselves in [[UnfortunateImplications a succession of mud hut villages fighting crowds of jabbering black people in loincloths and war paint, chucking spears]]. ''Oh, dears!'' [[OutOfTheFryingPan Talk about sidestepping a pothole only to fall off a bridge]]. But one needn't be worried unless there's genuine hatred behind it, [[InnocentBigot and I don't get that impression]]. Creator/{{Capcom}} [[HanlonsRazor aren't bad people, they're just idiots!]]"

-->So after loading myself down with other people's packed lunches, I set off on the North road with a song in my heart, and was immediately eaten by giant killer flies.