Funny: Zack and Miri Make a Porno

  • The entirety of Zack and Miri's scene together, but especially the extremely awkward "Let me see them tit-tays" and Zack's follow-up comment that his boobs are bigger than Miri's.
    • Miri's objection to Zack's dirty talk — specifically, the use of the word 'pecker'.
    • "I'm gonna fuck you with my penis!"
  • During the above scene: while Zack and Miri have sex, the others talk about LOST.
    Deacon: They're on the island, they're off the island, who can keep track of that shit?
    Bubbles: I think they're in Hell.
  • Zack's conversations with Brandon and Bobby at the high school reunion.
  • "Her name Bubbles."
  • This exchange:
    Zack: Okay, you don't want to fuck a stranger in a porno movie, for some weird reason. I guess... we could fuck!
    Miri: Ew.
    Zack: Fuck you!
    Miri: I mean, you're a nice enough looking guy and everything...
    Zack: Holy fuck, thank you. You're an all right enough looking girl, how does that feel?
  • Zack and Miri brainstorming porn titles. Includes such gems as A-Cock-In-Lips Now and Star Sex 2: The Wrath Of Kunt. Later, when they decide to make a Star Wars parody saga, we get The Phantom Man-Ass and Return Of The Brown-Eye.
  • Brandon talking about starring in movies with 'all male casts'.
    Zack: Like Glengarry Glen Ross?
    Brandon: More like Glen and Garry Suck Ross's Meaty Cock and Drop Their Hairy Nuts in His Eager Mouth.
    • Every scene with Brandon, really.
  • Zack has just stormed off the set:
    Delaney: Can you believe this shit?
    • And the Call Back later, after Deacon shows Zack the work he has done editing the film:
    Zack: Editor and DP, looks like you got your shit covered.
    Deacon: Please, do NOT say 'shit covered' to me again.
  • A drunk Steelers fan shows up at the coffee shop... right in the middle of Stacey and Lester's scene. What follows is the most uncomfortable transaction and small talk ever.
    • Bonus funny: Lester actually works the guy's drunken ramblings into his performance.
  • Zack's rationale for why a tape of them would sell.
    • "Everybody wants to see EVERYBODY fuck! I can't stand Rosie O'Donnell, but if someone told me there was a tape of Rosie O'Donnell getting fucked STUPID, I'd be like 'Why aren't we watching this RIGHT NOW?!'"

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