Funny / Zack and Miri Make a Porno
The entirety of Zack and Miri's scene together, but especially the extremely awkward "Let me see them tit-tays" and Zack's follow-up comment that his boobs are bigger than Miri's.
Miri's objection to Zack's dirty talk — specifically, the use of the word 'pecker'.
"I'm gonna fuck you with my penis!"
During the above scene: while Zack and Miri have sex, the others talk about Lost.
They're on the island, they're off the island, who can keep track of that shit?
Bubbles: I think they're in Hell
Zack's conversations with Brandon and Bobby at the high school reunion. Particularly Brandon talking about starring in movies with 'all male casts'.
Zack: Like Glengarry Glen Ross?
Brandon: More like Glen and Garry Suck Ross's Meaty Cock and Drop Their Hairy Nuts in His Eager Mouth.
And then Brandon makes a glorious scene trying to embarrass Bobby. Just, every scene with Brandon, really.
"Her name Bubbles."
Zack: Okay, you don't want to fuck a stranger in a porno movie, for some weird reason. I guess... we could fuck!
Zack: Fuck you!
Miri: I mean, you're a nice enough looking guy and everything...
Zack: Holy fuck, thank you. You're an all right enough looking girl, how does that feel?
Zack and Miri brainstorming porn titles. Includes such gems as A-Cock-In-Lips Now and Star Sex 2: The Wrath Of Kunt. Later, when they decide to make a Star Wars parody saga, we get The Phantom Man-Ass and Return Of The Brown-Eye.
"And Revenge Of The Shit! The all-anal final chapter!"
"Han Solo never had no sex with Princess Leia in the Star War!"
Zack has just stormed off the set:
Delaney: Can you believe this shit?
And the Call Back later, after Deacon shows Zack the work he has done editing the film:
Zack: Editor and DP, looks like you got your shit covered.
Deacon: Please, do NOT say 'shit covered' to me again.
A drunk Steelers fan shows up at the coffee shop... right in the middle of Stacey and Lester's scene. What follows is the most uncomfortable transaction and small talk ever.
Bonus funny: Lester actually works the guy's drunken ramblings into his performance.
Zack's rationale for why a tape of them would sell.
"Everybody wants to see EVERYBODY fuck! I can't stand Rosie O'Donnell, but if someone told me there was a tape of Rosie O'Donnell getting fucked STUPID, I'd be like 'Why aren't we watching this RIGHT NOW?!'"
Zack when he gets the idea for "Swallow My Cockuccino".
Zack: We're gonna launch arching ropes of jizzm ALL OVER THIS MOTHERFUCKER! Peace!
The Love Confession near the end gets completely sidetracked by Lester explaining to Zack what the Dutch Rudder is. NSFW, but you should probably hear it for yourself.