Narrator: And so we meet our hero, Yusuke Urameshi, but oddly enough he is dead and— Yusuke:(interrupts) Where is that voice coming from? And why am I flying? Man, it's the last time I accept Kool-Aid from my art teacher... Narrator: Would you shut up?! I'm trying to narrate. Yusuke: No, you shut up! I'm on the worst acid trip of my life, and your stupid talking isn't helping! Narrator: Oh, yeah? If you really wanna freak out then look at that. (camera pans down to reveal Yusuke's corpse) Yusuke: Yes? So what? It's just a corpse that happens to look exactly like— OH, MY GOD! Narrator: Yes, I know. It must be quite a shock to find out that— Yusuke: I HAD A TWIN BROTHER! Narrator: What? No, you idiot! You're dead! Yusuke: Huh? Well, that's much worse.
Pretty much all of Kuwabara's fight with Byakko, as it consists entirely of Yusuke, Hiei, and Kurama snarking at Kuwabara's struggles.
Yusuke:(after Kuwabara takes off his shirt) What's up, Kuwabara? You planning to blind him with your pasty white ass? Kuwabara: Shut up, Urameshi. This is srs bznss. Alright, Puss in Boots! Get over here so I can neuter the crap out of you!
Hiei to Yusuke, after he asks one too many stupid questions: "You're really just a detective in title only, aren't you?"
Kurama: Kuwabara? Kuwabara: Yeah? Kurama: If you say or do anything to annoy me in the next 24 hours, I swear to Koenma I will cut you in half with a fucking rose! Or do I need to remind you I have that capability? (beat) Hiei: I love you. Kurama: What was that Hiei? Hiei: I said, let's go inside!
Kuwabara: Do you think the little guy can handle this? Kurama: Seryuu doesn't even stand a chance. Yusuke: What d'you mean? Kurama: Don't you see? Hiei's taken off his shirt. It's anime law: Once a male shonen hero removes his shirt, his attributes all increase exponentially. Seryuu is doomed. Kuwabara: So why didn't you take off your shirt during your fight with the rock guy? Yusuke: You WOULD ask that, wouldn't you? Kuwabara: Go to Hell!
Kurama's Deadpan Snarker comments. One gets the impression that this is what his anime incarnation would say if he wasn't so unfailingly polite.
Kurama: Great, now I have retard in surround sound.
Suzaku's explanation for how he learned to control lightning
Suzaku: Well, it all started out as a drunken dare from Vern to stand out in a thunderstorm wearin' nothin' but a bunch a tin foil and trash can lids, and...well, here we are, ten years later.
Yusuke: I really hate rednecks.
From Rescue Yukina abridged, we get this exchange from Yusuke's first encounter with a member of the apparition gang.
Henchman: Behold! Your worst nightmare: a true demon in flesh and bone! Let your reality crumble under the horror that is...why aren't you scared?
Yusuke: Why should we be?
Henchman: Because I'm a freaking demon! You're just children. Don't you know the rules? I'm the terrifying horror from the darkest reaches of realms unknown.
Yusuke: I don't care if you're a wizard from the brightest friggin corner of Waverly Place, you still aren't scary.