- Every word that comes out of Genkai's mouth.
- Introductions at Genkai's Tournament
Kuwabara: Kuzuma Kuwabara, toughest kid at Sarayashiki Junior High.
Yusuke: Yusuke Urameshi, toughest straight kid at Sarayashiki Junior High.
Kuwabara: F-ck you, Urameshi.
Yusuke: You'd like that, wouldn't you?
Genkai: Both of you, shut the hell up! Now let's begin!
- "I'm not gay! I'm as straight as Ricky Martin's sparkling abs! WAIT, I mean!"
- "Is Atsuko gonna havta choke a bitch?"
- From The Movie:
Kuwabara: You just got Kuwabara-owned!
Yusuke: (off-screen) ...boooooooooo.
Kuwabara: Shut up, Urameshi.
- "STOP SAYING THINGS!"
- "Honestly, who stands on top of a tree?"
- "Who punches down a tree?!"
Kurama: (as he sees energy coming out from beneath a large rock) Hm? Who's under there?
Kurama: (slams the rock back down on top of her) Nevermind...
- The Fan Art Special song. Both funny and a massive Ear Worm.
- Episode 15:
- "I don't know what you just said, but it pisses me right the fuck off!"
- "Git-er-done, motherfucker." Delivered by Kurama, no less.
- Yusuke and Kuwabara's reaction to Genbu saying, "Git 'er done!"
- During episode 16:
Byakko: ...I...can...has cheezburger?
- Pretty much all of Kuwabara's fight with Byakko, as it consists entirely of Yusuke, Hiei, and Kurama snarking at Kuwabara's struggles.
- Episode 17:
Yusuke: (after Kuwabara takes off his shirt) What's up, Kuwabara? You planning to blind him with your pasty white ass?
- Hiei to Yusuke, after he asks one too many stupid questions: "You're really just a detective in title only, aren't you?"
- Episode 18
Kurama: If you say or do anything to annoy me in the next 24 hours, I swear to Koenma I will cut you in half with a fucking rose! Or do I need to remind you I have that capability?
Hiei: I love you
Kurama: What was that Hiei?
Hiei: I said lets go inside!
Kuwabara: Do you think the little guy can handle this?
Kurama: Seryuu doesn't even stand a chance.
Yusuke: What d'you mean?
Kurama: Don't you see? Hiei's taken off his shirt. It's anime law: Once a male shonen hero removes his shirt, his attributes all increase exponentially. Seryuu is doomed.
Kuwabara: So why didn't you take off your shirt during your fight with the rock guy?
Yusuke: You WOULD ask that, wouldn't you?
Kuwabara: Go To Hell!
- Kurama's Deadpan Snarker comments. One gets the impression that this is what his anime incarnation would say if he wasn't so unfailingly polite.
Kurama: Great, now I have retard in surround sound.
- Suzaku's explanation for how he learned to control lightning
Suzaku: Well, it all started out as a drunken dare from Vern to stand out in a thunderstorm wearin' nothin' but a bunch a tin foil and trash can lids, and...well, here we are, ten years later.
Yusuke: I really hate rednecks.
- From Rescue Yukina abridged, we get this exchange from Yusuke's first encounter with a member of the apparition gang.
Henchman: Behold! Your worst nightmare: a true demon in flesh and bone! Let your reality crumble under the horror that is...why aren't you scared?
Yusuke: Why should we be?
Henchman: Because I'm a freaking demon! You're just children. Don't you know the rules? I'm the terrifying horror from the darkest reaches of realms unknown.
: I don't care if you're a wizard from the brightest friggin corner of Waverly Place
, you still aren't scary.
: Yes, and I'm sure your nightly ritual
is fantastic. Now could you get out of our way?
- "Welcome to Japan. Everything's F**ked Up here."
- The Neighborhood Watch Committee is uncomfortably quick to address local events:
"Attention everyone! This is the neighborhood watch committee reminding everyone that necrophilia is still illegal. Thank you and have a pleasant day."