- Yusei's nightmare, complete with the Doctor Who theme tune and a parody opening.
Jack: C'mon Crow. Let's go play a card game, while standing completely still. On. The. GROUND.
Jaden: I'm the cute, hyperactive one that people want to choke in his sleep!
- Jaden explains who Yubel is:
Yusei: Who's Yubel?
Jaden: The demon that lives inside my head!
- Jaden's pre-battle cry:
- As always Jack Atlas is pure shouty comic gold:
Yusei: (Looking at a picture and seeing Paradox) Wait, I found him!
Yusei: The guy who stole my card.
- There was also these gems when Yusei and his friends were reading up on Paradox:
Jack: Yugi Moto, he was the greatest duelist who ever lived!
: It says here he died a virgin
and his last words were; "Oh God, I wasted my life."
- Jaden creates a Time Crash at the end of the movie when he tells Yugi what happens to the Pharaoh at the end of his series. He, Yami, and Yusei are stuck within a white void as another joins them...
- The Stinger; explaining any further would kill the joke.
- Yami and Yusei getting their Ho Yay on. Complete with Sexophone ("Careless Whisper", to be exact).
Yusei: You can be my wingman anytime, Yugi.
Yami: No Yusei, you can be mine.
*romantic music; cue eyesex*
- The time when Yugi explains about the Shadow Realm to Yusei and Jaden and doesn't take it well:
Yugi: You know, the Shadow Realm. The big, purpley cloud place you go to when something really bad happens to you.
Jaden: I think you're talking about Hell!
Yugi: No, it's the Shadow Realm. Y-You know, when people fall from a really tall building, or they get stabbed in the chest... They go straight to the Shadow Realm! What, you guys don't have the Shadow Realm in your future?
Yusei: I don't think that's a real thing.
Yugi: So wait... Is my grandpa... really dead?
Jaden: 'Fraid so, brosef.
- Yugi just wants his Oscar now, thank you very much.
- Also, Team Four Star, you may have Kyle Hebert...so what, we have Juicy Flannigan!
- Yami tells Paradox there is no way someone would agree to a stupid duel like the one he proposed...Jaden however interrupts and agrees that they will all take part.
Jaden: What's up?
Yusei: If we survive this, I'm going back in time, to slap myself for taking you along on this adventure.
- This line from Jaden to Paradox, "Then What The Hell Man?! WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?!?!"
- Jaden goes freestyle...much to the dismay to Yami and Yusei.
Yusei: Oh please tell me he's not going to rap!
- This bit...
Yusei: Paradox, you got some explaining to do!
Jaden: YEAH! Like why the hell were you in Venice!
Yusei: Look, this isn't important...
Jaden: I disagree-
Yusei: Shut up.
- Top Gun is so not gay, by the way.
- Yusei commenting on everyone's hair that he sees, "What's wrong with his/your hair!?"
- "Hello! I'm Extremely asian!"
- "I'm so happy to be asian today you guys!"
- "I'VE NEVER FELT SO ASIAN!"
- How Yugi describes how he can beat Paradox, despite his "superior" skills.
Paradox: Oh pwease! You may be the King of Games in your timeline but where I come from Duel Monsters have evolve far beyond your understanding. Compared to me you are just a learner.
Yami: That may be the case in your timeline, Paradox. But then we're not in your timeline, are we?
Yami: And where I come from Duel Monsters is still a broken exploitable mess of a game. And I'm about to exploit the Hell out of it!
- When Yusei saves Jaden from Paradox...
: Dang son
! That is one awesome motorbike you have-
Yusei: You're not riding it.
- This gem...
Jaden: Can I ride your bike?
Yusei: I already told you no!
Jaden: Oh come on, it'll be fun!
Yusei: I'll let you ride my bike if you can tell me one thing.
Jaden: Sure, ask away.
Yusei: Always do...
- Yusei and Jaden save Yugi from Paradox, and time travel to when before everyone in Domino City died...leading too.
Jaden: WHOOOOOOA!...I thought you said you weren't going to let me ride it?
Yusei: Everybody gets one.
- "It's not a spoiler if it's obvious."
- And this gem too...
Jaden: Check it out dawgs! My Neos card came back! It must be because we went back in time!
Yusei: That is not how time travel works.
Jaden: Well how else do you explain it?
- Yugi decides to join Jaden and Yusei on their quest to defeat Paradox.
: Aw yeah! Looks like we chillin' with the King Of Games biatches
! This shit be ballin'!
Yusei: He said he's happy to have you on board.
- They turned Paradox into Mandark.
- The joke on Syncro-what?
- Wait!...I've seemed to stop caring.
- And this...
Paradox: I am here for the one who destwoyed the futuwe.
Jaden: Look there must be some kind of mistake. I'm Jaden Yuki.
Paradox: Yes that is wight.
Jaden: But I'm harmless! I couldn't destroy anything!
- The Take That to 3D effects.
LittleKuriboh: We at Yugioh Abridged like to apologize for the lack of 3D content in this movie, however we like to think this is totally justified since 3D is bullsh*t and adds absolutely nothing to the cinema experience. So please, enjoy your 2D movie. Because it's cheaper and much less obnoxious.
- An unexpected cameo...
Yusei: Jack look out!
Jack: CROW LOOK OUT!
*Wario comes in behind everyone on his motorcycle*
- Crow is wondering why Yusei's card was stolen in the first place.
Yusei: Probably to humiliate me in front of my girlfriend.
Akiza: Oh don't be silly Yusei. You know I'd never be emb-
Yusei: For the last time, I'm dating a motorcycle!
Akiza: But why date a motorcycle when you could have me?
Yusei: Tell her Jack.
Jack: GIRLS ARE SMELLY.
Yusei: He's right. They are.
- Jaden and Yusei search the Internet.
Jaden: Oh my God!
Jaden: I forgot I bookmarked 2 Dark Magician Girls, 1 Pot of Greed.
- Jack telling Yusei to summon his junk warrior on Paradox.
Jack: YUSEI! WHIP OUT YOUR JUNK!
Jack: WARRIOR! YOUR JUNK WARRIOR!
*A few seconds later*
Jack: GOOD! NOW WHIP OUT YOUR JUNK AND WAVE IT AT HIM!
- "I'm Batman!"-Jaden
- The intro to the movie.
- Yes. The first four minutes—beginning with the original Yugioh cast doing an old-timey "let's go down to the lobby" style jingle, getting interrupted by the 5Ds cast doing a Death Metal extravaganza, half of which consists of threatening the audience should they commit disorderly conduct while the other half is them gloating over how they now have your money, and then moving into Yusei's nightmare (see the first entry under the film for details) may be the funniest opening four minutes to any comedy movie, EVER.
- To give credit where credit is due, this sequence is a copy of the opening sequence to Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters. Doesn't make it any less hilarious to see Yusei telling the audience that Satan will rain hot acid down their throats, dissolve their testicles and turn their guts into snakes if they videotape the movie they are about to see.
- Yugi very slowly telling Yusei that they are going to play a card game on the ground and not on a motorcycle. Then goes on to say that he doesn't want Yusei to try and ride his duel disk.
Yami: Now Yusei, I should point out that this card game is not going to take place on a motorcycle. I hope you understand that. I don't want you to try to- ride on your duel disk or something. We're just going to be standing firmly on the ground-
Yusei: I know how to duel.
Yami: Well okay then.
- Yusei's reaction whenever Paradox cuts out on him.
Yusei: I totally won that duel back there.
- Paradox telling the Pwwotangonists about his intentions:
Yusei: Paradox. Why are you trying to destroy the world?
Paradox: I'm not trying to destroy the world. I'm trying to save it.
Yusei: NOT IF WE CAN STOP YOU— wait, what?
Paradox: In the future, the world as we know it has been destroyed. Humanity's ignorance has made the world become wavvaged, and wifeless.
Yami: 'Wavvaged' and 'Wifeless'?
Jaden: But how? Was it global warming?
Yusei: Nuclear war?
Paradox: No, none of those things happened. What destroyed the world was.... caaaaarrrrdddd gaaaaammmmeeeessss.
Paradox: That riiigghhttt. Caaardddd gaaammmesss.
Yusei: You're serious.
Paradox: Yesssss. Veerrryyy.
Yusei: How did Card Games destroy the world?
Paradox: Well, I wasn't actually there, but I heard that someone played a card game and then BOOM! End of the world. It totally happened. Just like I said. Card Game- BOOM! Everyone dead.
- Yami's and Yusei's reaction to finding out that they would either have to lose Card Games or the Entire world:
Paradox: It's either I destroy the card game, or the entire world destroys itself. It is as simple as that.
Yami: Hmmm... The entire world... or card games. Tough choice.
Yusei: There is no choice. Without card games, this world isn't worth living in.
- Jaden's introduction.
Jaden: My name's Jaden Yuki, and I'm absolutely flawless.
Yusei: Stop being happy.
Jaden: Aint no one in the world as fly as me.
Yusei: I'm serious. Stop it.
Jaden: Bitches line up just to get a glimpse at my sweet moves.
Jaden: Come on homie, don't be a playa hater.
Yusei: I'm not a player hater. I just hate you.
- Jaden then goes on to troll Yusei about having not grown up on the streets like Yusei.
Jaden: I go to a kickass school that teaches us how to play trading cards! We get to sleep on warm comfortable beds and get served food whenever we want... awww it's a good life!
Yusei: Well just look at all the f*cks I give!
- Pirate Hitler.
- When Yusei and his friends first encounter Paradox.
Yusei: Wait, who's that?
Jack: I don't know but his hair is beautiful!
- And while the delivery is what makes this line absolutely beautiful, Jack's reaction to the theft of Yusei's card bears quoting;
- Yami after Jaden's Rap.
Yami: Wow Jaden! Way to get your lame on!
Jaden: Actually, it's get your gam-
Yami: I know what it is.
- Yusei confronts Paradox in Venice and makes some Brick Jokes.
Yusei: I came—
Yusei: —to the past.
Yusei: But I also had an orgasm.
Jaden: Ha! Nice!
- Pegasus' song:
Welcome, all you foolish nerds/To the gayest spectacle in the world/I'm making a cameo in this movie/I'm much more fabulous in 3D...
- After Paradox has been defeated:
Yami Yugi: Huh... I think we may have just killed a man...
Yusei: If anyone asks, Jaden did it!
Jaden: Yeah—Wait, what?!
- In the end where Jaden blabs about Yami Yugi dying at the end of his series, they end up in subspace.
Yami: Well, this is just fan-tucking-fastic, now we're stuck in subspace. Way to go Jaden.
Jaden: It's not my fault, I thought spoilers were okay, it's been like ten years!
: HEY GUYS
!!! THIS SUBSPACE THING IS PRETTY EXTREME, HUH? TALK ABOUT POPFLYING!! GET SET TO GET DEAD MOTHERF*Bleep*CKERS, YEAH!!!
- Paradox tries to scare everyone by sending them to the Malific World, and all three ended up liking it.
Paradox: Stop being impwessed by the Mawific World!